Anna and the M-kids, Part 8

[Hisey]

I think it is way too soon to expect Anna to leave Josh. This new baby is just part of her journey towards that (hopefully). 

I would give it 15 years. Anna will be about 43. If Josh has continued to cheat, she'll know. She's not the naive young girl she once was. If he starts staying up late with his laptop, she'll notice. If he starts staying out in the evening with phony excuses, she'll notice. 

If that happens, her love and trust will continue to die. She'll start to question what her elders tell  her about submission and being joyfully available. She'll know she has submitted and has been joyfully available, and bad things are still happening.

At that point, her kids will be relatively grownup and self-sufficient, and it will seem possible for her to support herself, say, as a day care worker or nanny.

That's when I think she would/could leave. Not now. It's too soon. She's still believing what her parents and Michelle are telling her about how her lack of submission led to this mess.

I remember once Anna saying how she knew nothing about sex until a few weeks before her wedding, and she thinks her parents were right to keep her ignorant, because she "didn't need to know" before then. Smug little thing. I bet she is raising Mackynie and Meredith to be far more informed.

[anjulibai]

2 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I think it is way too soon to expect Anna to leave Josh. This new baby is just part of her journey towards that (hopefully). 

I would give it 15 years. Anna will be about 43. If Josh has continued to cheat, she'll know. She's not the naive young girl she once was. If he starts staying up late with his laptop, she'll notice. If he starts staying out in the evening with phony excuses, she'll notice. 

If that happens, her love and trust will continue to die. She'll start to question what her elders tell  her about submission and being joyfully available. She'll know she has submitted and has been joyfully available, and bad things are still happening.

At that point, her kids will be relatively grownup and self-sufficient, and it will seem possible for her to support herself, say, as a day care worker or nanny.

That's when I think she would/could leave. Not now. It's too soon. She's still believing what her parents and Michelle are telling her about how her lack of submission led to this mess.

I remember once Anna saying how she knew nothing about sex until a few weeks before her wedding, and she thinks her parents were right to keep her ignorant, because she "didn't need to know" before then. Smug little thing. I bet she is raising Mackynie and Meredith to be far more informed.

 

In 15 years, Anna might have 10-12 kids, though, including several very young ones that won't be self-sufficient. She'll have even less incentive to leave. 

If Anna is going to leave it's going to be within the next few years. But the longer she stays and the more kids she has, the more stuck she becomes. 

[BabyBottlePop]

I want to know now that redemption baby is on their way what would happen now if Josh strays again and it gets out. It's sad because with each scandal I'm like "this will be the nail in the coffin!" and then it isn't. If Josh cheated again and Michelle & JB tried to cover it up-- who knows if that would even be the final nail in the Duggar mess. 

And this poor fifth kid. Even if he knows nothing until he's old enough to Google, I'm sure he'll hear things from members of the family. He's meant to show the family is healed-- and if Josh and Anna's relationship worsens down the line, let's hope he doesn't end up feeling like it's his fault somehow. 

[Jana814]

44 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Which account? You know he had two, right?

I'm not sure. I did not realize he had two accounts. 

[Galbin]

I just found out about the "blessing" on Facebook.  Oddly  enough, today I was just watching the episode of 19KAC where Ben proposes to Jessa,  and got to wondering about Anna. In that episode she tells Josh she would have said no if she had known he had smugly assumed it would be a yes.  She seemed to have a bit of a spine with him,  so I started wondering if she would be joyfully unavailable to him sometimes now.  Guess not!

[rexasaurus_nirb]

Do we think we will get a picture of all the pregnant folk/ that they took one before Jessa had Henry? 

[Carm_88]

1 minute ago, rexasaurus_nirb said:

Do we think we will get a picture of all the pregnant folk/ that they took one before Jessa had Henry? 

Oh wow. I never thought about that, I imagine they did take one. I'm not sure we will ever see it though. 

[marmalade]

5 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

I'm not sure. I did not realize he had two accounts. 

Yes, he had one in AR before even moving to DC. 

[Pasta]

Was he only with one woman or did he have multiple adventures? Do you think he would have been honest with her about all of the indiscretions? Is it possible he only told her partial info to get back into her life? I'm fascinated. I'm weird though and have no relationship data to go on as an adult. 

[Tatar-tot]

Let's just bottom line it:  If Josh took off to Vegas and was a regular at the Mustang Ranch Anna would not divorce him.   Anna views her marriage like a devoted Catholic in the 50s.   Divorce just is not in her vocabulary.

Anna blames herself for Josh's straying.  She has been hurt to the core.   Rather than busting his b*lls, Anna has gone over every minute of her marriage to figured out what she did wrong to cause him to stray.   If he wanted to do something sexual she was uncomfortable with she is doing it now.  Anna's entire self worth is tied to her having a successful marriage on every level.   Anna is not much different from a battered wife who blames herself for being beaten.  

The worst part of this entire mess is twofold:  

1.  Anna will sacrifice her entire self for Josh.  No matter what he does Josh knows he can drift home when in the mood.  She  will be there with open arms,  cooking his favorite meal, and ready & waiting in the boudoir to keep Josh entertained.

2.  Meredith is being taught you will marry an ass, he will treat you like trash, and that is your path in life.

 The marriage is the poster child for not encouraging your children to marry young,  make sure your children get an education and can financial support themselves, and a long "courtship" where you truly know your partner on every level before you say "I do."   

There are so many issues with this entire relationship that I think someone could write a doctoral thesis on it. Oy veh! 

 

[vspielman]

Just got home from work to the horrendous news.  What a shame that she is pregnant.

[VelociRapture]

Dear Josh,

Your wife is too fucking good for you. Count your goddamn blessings that she's brainwashed enough to stay with you.

And for the love of all that is good in the world - DON'T FUCK UP AGAIN. Not for your sake. Not for Anna's sake. For the sake of those five little kids who deserve a father who isn't a complete douchebag.

Sincerely,

Don't shake my hand - I know where your's has been and it's fucking gross

---------

Dear Anna,

I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. I really did. It's not your fault you were born into a cult and brainwashed to be a Stepford Wife. I'm sorry you had to experience such a horrible blow to your marriage and I'm sorry your parents failed to instill you with a strong sense of self-worth.

But you have children. You are choosing to raise your innocent children in the same cult that taught you that you have no self-worth. And you are choosing to bring another innocent child into a seriously shitty situation. You don't get any slack when you're making choices that will fuck your kids over.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go straight to the naughty corner and think about the piss poor life choices you've made lately.

Sincerely,

Grow the fuck up and start acting like a mother who cares about her kids

---------

Dear JimBob, Michelle, Ma, and Pa Keller,

Fuck. You.

Fuck you long and hard with the broken end of a broom. 

Thats all.

Sincerely,

My daughter is 3 months old and I'm already a better parent than any of you

---------

Dear M5,

Good luck.

Sincerely,

Seriously. Good luck

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Maybe they'll name the new arrival Mercy.

[SilverBeach]

3 hours ago, melon said:

You know,my son said something very similar.He said that if Josh had not had such a sheltered life,he may not have molested his sisters,and if he had sown a few wild oats,maybe just , maybe ,he would have turned out a little different.But who knows?

If you read the article I posted a bit upthread, it will shed a lot of light on Josh and his skewed sexual development within the Gothard bubble. Awful.

[HermioneSparrow]

Anna will never leave but maybe Josh will, someday.

[SilverBeach]

And Anna? She is just stupid, to subject another child to Josh as a father. The brainwashing is deep with this one. It's interesting that hyper religious folks like the Gothardites don't even value basic human decency. 

[Hisey]

36 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

 

In 15 years, Anna might have 10-12 kids, though, including several very young ones that won't be self-sufficient. She'll have even less incentive to leave. 

If Anna is going to leave it's going to be within the next few years. But the longer she stays and the more kids she has, the more stuck she becomes. 

No, I don't think they'll have that many. Look how long it took to conceive #5. When things are that ugly and there is so much unspoken anger and resentment in a marriage, the sex goes downhill. I'm not saying she's turning him down (she wouldn't), I'm just saying there is too much sadness there. Even Josh would probably rather spend time with his right hand than try to fool around with a woman who is smothering her resentment and forcing a smile.

I have to disagree about Anna. Now she is an overwhelmed, unhappy young mother, who is struggling to figure out why it was her fault. She needs to shed all that stuff before she'll have the self esteem to leave. That takes time.

[VeganCupcake]

50 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I would give it 15 years. Anna will be about 43. If Josh has continued to cheat, she'll know. She's not the naive young girl she once was. If he starts staying up late with his laptop, she'll notice. If he starts staying out in the evening with phony excuses, she'll notice. 

That's when I think she would/could leave.

I disagree. I think Josh could do anything short of maybe extreme physical violence and Anna would still stay with him. What I want to know is, how would Josh react if Anna ran out and cheated on him, embarrassing the entire family in the process? @HermioneSparrow If he leaves, where will he get money? I'm sure his parents would cut him off if he got  a divorce. He would have to pay child support too. 

[Hisey]

11 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

If you read the article I posted a bit upthread, it will shed a lot of light on Josh and his skewed sexual development within the Gothard bubble. Awful.

God, how could he spend his life in that cult and NOT be messed up sexually.

I think of Josh as a young boy of 14 or so. His whole life is spent in that little house, with his pregnant mom and brothers and sisters. There's always babies and toddlers around. He knows that a relationship with the opposite sex is a very, very loaded subject. But he's interested in sex and he's around his sisters 24/7. He has no sports teams to play on. He's home most of the time. He doesn't go to school, or have neighborhood kids to play with. He can't go to the movies with a friend (since most movies are evil). His life must have been supremely boring and very frustrating.

Sure, plenty of people (like John David) grow up like that and do not molest their sisters. But I can see how Josh's upbringing could have been very damaging to his sexuality. I blame him far more for the evil he did as a consenting adult, than what he did while still a victim himself of JB and Michelle.

4 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

I disagree. I think Josh could do anything short of maybe extreme physical violence and Anna would still stay with him. What I want to know is, how would Josh react if Anna ran out and cheated on him, embarrassing the entire family in the process? 

I'm not saying she WILL leave. I'm saying if she does, it won't be now. It will be when she is much older. Now she's so young,  she still probably wants to please her parents. But in 15 years, they may be dead.

[Gobsmacked]

8 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Anna will never leave but maybe Josh will, someday.

That is truly my wish too. Anna (may) be initially upset, hopefully though her siblings would be very supportive as I suspect her daft parents wouldn't be.

[singsingsing]

Just want to point out that M5 is actually right on schedule. Anna's been having a baby about once every two years with slightly longer spacing each time.

[SilverBeach]

Josh is to weak to ever leave, he could never afford child support or to care for his family without Boob's help. 

[Lullu-Beanz]

2 hours ago, Pasta said:

Mathias Alexander or Ezekiel Laurence. 

Maybe they'll do a new set of letter names so we can have redemption kids like the reversal kids in that other family. Don't get me wrong, it's not great news but I expected nothing less.  

NO! I actually really love the name Mathias (I grew up on Redwall books) and I don't want it to be used for a Duggar spawn.

[TuringMachine]

Man Ma and Pa Keller suck. They shunned their children who choose to live a different life and rewarded the ones who stayed with the worlds worst husbands. 

[Toothfairy]

Sorry this is sad. Anna please get checked for stds.