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"To Think or Not to Think?" A fundie guide to crushes. (Spoiler: the answer is "don't think")


Rachel333

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18 hours ago, louisa05 said:

A friend of mine was raised evangelical but got into some of the trendy early 90s courtship stuff (Josh Harris et al) after college. Before her wedding, at age 29 with a 38 year old groom, she confided to me that she was "having a really hard time" because she was very attracted to her soon to be husband and couldn't make herself stop feeling that way. I was a bit confused by this being a matter of distress or that she should bury that feeling. She explained that she should not be physically attracted to him until after the wedding or it was "lust" and she was sinning. I about lost it. I told her that it certainly was not lust and that if she were not attracted to him, she shouldn't be marrying him.

Citing Josh Harris like a legitimate source... tsk tsk

 

*wink*

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Evangelicals are so odd to me. One sermon of my childhood that seriously stuck with me was about a man who worked very hard to keep his heart "perfect" (represented by a heart cut out of poster board). He often bragged about how perfect his heart was. Then he meets a guy whose heart is a patchwork of pieces that he had traded with various people (represented by a pillow covered in felt patches of various colors). The man with the perfect heart had a heart that was cold, while the patchwork man's heart was warm. It was about arrogance and how, until you are willing to let others in, you can't experience love and the commandment to love your neighbor, but it also reads a huge "Take that" against purity culture. (Was that a thing in the early 80's?)

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@Terrie, that sounds like a lovely sermon! I can see why it stuck with you. Full disclosure, I'm going to "borrow" the story to tell my girls. :my_angel:

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On November 27, 2016 at 4:21 PM, DomWackTroll said:

"You should continue to sleep with him if you have already. Otherwise, he will think you are spiteful."

Yeah, getting a little rage-y here. 

Who gives a sh-- if he thinks you're spiteful if you're not into him anymore? 

My dad is a great guy and was not like a fundie dad at all. But had I told him about a crush, he would have totally (and probably completely unintentionally) found a way to completely embarrass me in front of said crush. "Oh hi, crush's mom. BabyBottlePop just loves your son!" And then be like "what did I do?" 

The poor girls with a dad like J-Boob. I could see him humiliate his daughters and think it was hilarious because the guy wasnt worthy of her or some bs.

On November 28, 2016 at 4:37 PM, Lurky said:

Sadly for us, he removed it from the web, or made it private.  It's a little bit weird - he's talking about how Brett Alan Smith Jr is innocent of child rape, but he's still scrubbed the videos showing off how BAS Jnr and Katie Morton's marriage came from the extreme courtship side)

I think he is aware what his son did, but has somehow twisted it in his head so that it's not as bad as it actually is, and has become some misunderstanding. Whatever the case, he's certainly circling the wagons at this point.

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12 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

@Terrie, that sounds like a lovely sermon! I can see why it stuck with you. Full disclosure, I'm going to "borrow" the story to tell my girls. :my_angel:

At the end of the story, the two men met, and the "perfect" man finally learned to not be arrogant. The pastor tore a bit of the posterboard heart off and exchanged it with a piece of felt from the patchwork heart, and the formerly "perfect" heart grew warm. It was a really powerful sermon to a little kid. 

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13 minutes ago, BabyBottlePop said:

I think he is aware what his son did, but has somehow twisted it in his head so that it's not as bad as it actually is, and has become some misunderstanding. Whatever the case, he's certainly circling the wagons at this point.

Plus Brett Jnr has begged for his forgiveness, and promised he's truly repentant, so it's now everyone else's fault for keeping bitterness in their heart and refusing to forgive him, which means they're the real sinners....

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