Lydia Coghlan Hinrichs Talks FJ

[ViolaSebastian]

Having worked with adolescent mothers, I'm firmly on team "teenagers shouldn't have kids."  If wanting someone's brain to be fully developed before she is responsible for another, helpless life makes me a hater, then so be it.

I'll just go get on my broom...

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, DomWackTroll said:

Is it just me, or is Ben Serven kinda... hot? 

It's just you.  Of all the Servenines, Nate comes closest to a certain warmth. MHO of course.

PS: I'm getting old. Can't think of the third son for anything. Nate, Ben, Whosis and then the two youngest, Drew and ... Whosis II. 

[nausicaa]

3 hours ago, teachergirl said:

And as for Lydia, well she is only 20 and alot like those of us were when we were that young. I thought I knew everything and the problem, she is 20, with very limited life, school and work experience despite what they try and sell us.  It is normal to be defensive about your lifestyle and I am sure it is very true she had a good childhood.  The fact remains Ms.Lydia and her husband will change tremendously and just like her sister, may find a in a few years things have changed.  I think most of us would hold to that we would want our children to wait to get married that young without knowing who we are, want we want and to see more of life.

Yes, all of this. 

Also, granted I don't follow the Coghlans super closely, but didn't her sister's early marriage not exactly end in a cottage of love on silver tipped wings? You'd think Lydia might have learned to have a little more humility about her future...

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, DomWackTroll said:

Even Spanky seems to be hiding his wedding pictures (damn him!) and instructing his friends and followers to do the same. It can be done... if that's what they truly want. 

Well, shucks.  Has he already tied the knot then?

I think 1/2 of the people commenting on Lydia's FB are busily searching FJ as we speak, and some of them may be really annoyed NOT to find their names mentioned here. 

'Tis a Fundie badge of honor to be persecuted by FJ.

 

 

 

[ViolaSebastian]

Thought about it and thought I'd address the "extended adolescence" we child free people are supposedly in. One, I've met plenty of people who have children who still live in adolescence. In an ideal world, I suppose people grow up the moment sperm meets egg, but I think we all have examples from our personal life disproving that assumption. Two, if I, a person who is divorced, holding down a job, going to school, and living in my own place, but childless, is in extended adolescence, what on earth does that say about the Maxwell ladies or the Botkins?? Or men and women who can't have children?? I mean, I'm not saying I'm fantastic at adulting, but I have responsibilities that I manage pretty well. 

[Koala]

Here's what I don't get.  I don't get claiming that people who read your blog/public FB/Twitter/Instagram are "stalking" you. 

If you agree with them, you're a "fan" (and they should probably write a book to tell you more), but if you dare disagree, you're a "stalker" or "troll". Someone  needs to tell these folks how the internet works.  Just because you put it out there, doesn't mean you are going to get hand claps and head pats.  Someone might just tell you that you're full of shit.  

[DomWackTroll]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Well, shucks.  Has he already tied the knot then?

Yup, last Saturday night. And I can't find one photo. 

[Palimpsest]

Just now, DomWackTroll said:

Yup, last Saturday night. And I can't find one photo. 

Well, what a party pooper.  Perhaps Spanky decided to hide all the wedding pics because his sporran is so meager compared to Mr. Brigid Boyer's yeti pelt.

[Carm_88]

That's hilarious. I like the "all the time to stalk us." or whatever the exact quote was. It probably takes as much time to write a post here as it does on Facebook. Plus you're here stalking us. Huh...I mean...why? 

[feministxtian]

Oh good Lord! 

I was 18 when my first kid was born, 26 when the last was born. hysterectomy at 27. Kids grown and gone by the time I was 50. Now, I am enjoying my second adolescence. 

Screw the little witch and her self-righteousness. 

[BlessaYourHeart]

I laughed so hard at her facebook post! Basically calling us hyprocrites for our so called assumptions yet makes assumptions about us. 

News flash miss Lydia; I am a devoted Christian and very active in my church.  I love FJ and have met so many lovely supportive people here who by no means hate on Christianity!!! 

What we don't agree with is indoctrination and extremism or children having their rights taken away by parents who only care about procreating to show how blessed they are. 

Im 21, engaged, child free and most importantly putting my education first so that I can provide for my future family and not have to beg borrow and steal to get through life.  I use contraception and love wine and that doesn't make any less Christian than judgy ass fundys.  I've sinned and that's ok because I'm confident that I'm forgiven by my saviour. I don't judge anyone else for their own life choices because it's not my life and if someone is an atheist that's great for them because that is their choice. Oh and Catholic is Christian too despite what fundies say. 

Dont like what FJ says then don't read it! Common sense. 

Sorry guys for the long post but it's been a long day and I really needed that 

[BlessaYourHeart]

Sweet fuck I went for a nosey and she's giving a running commentary on everything we say here peeps. 

We have an attention whore on our hands. 

Oh and Lydia it's 'forum' not 'form' SOTDRT

But seriously she's so much better than us how will we ever live knowing that she says we have empty lives? 

I need to go to bed. Someone give me a hug 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

It's actually kind of interesting to see how others react to this site. I mean, fj is definitely a weird phenomenon, something I'd have a lot of trouble explaining to my mom. I Google my name from time to time to see how I might look to prospective employers, and while I've never found anything surprising, I have no idea what would go through my mind if I found out I was the subject of a lengthy discussion. Basically I'm saying that it's understandable that not everyone has the same views about privacy and courtesy online.

[fundiefan]

Pretty typical dramatics. Post your shit online and make it public. Then, play victim when someone who has seen and commented on/about said public information makes their own comments - and *gasp* - disagree! How dare anyone ever agree with or discuss something said publicly? 

Fundie or not, it's a pretty typical Internet behavior. 

In Lydia's case, well, her mother posted a public blog for years and solicited attention. The family has simply followed in her footsteps only they use social media instead of recruiting blog traffic. 

Same thing, minimally different medium. 

Same reactions of the poor victims though.

They'll sell their lives and choices and religion to anyone who will listen/buy into it. Make.The.Babies! Go.To.This.Church. Believe.God.Means.THIS.

But, whoa anyone who not only refuses to buy, but makes comments stating so.

At least when we form opinions here they often come from years of experience with the fundies, whether from following their blogs or knowing personally or whatever. Their opinions of FJ are based solely on disagreeing with the method and motive. Because of that, we are all sad trolls with no lives. 

Knows nothing about anyone, never read incessant blog or public social media posts, but yeah, they all nailed us exactly. 

Clearly, thinking outside the box is not a cognitive skill taught to everyone. 

[Bretta]

C'mon, don't paint us with a broad brush, Lydia! Engage on the issues, don't get hung up on name-calling. Some things like abuse of power, irresponsible parenting, and downright abuse that go on in (our?) fundie circles are just plain wrong.

 

What did Jesus say when people accused him and said things about him? For the most part, nothing.

[Lurky]

5 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Two, if I, a person who is divorced, holding down a job, going to school, and living in my own place, but childless, is in extended adolescence, what on earth does that say about the Maxwell ladies or the Botkins?? Or men and women who can't have children?? I mean, I'm not saying I'm fantastic at adulting, but I have responsibilities that I manage pretty well. 

This is what I'm fascinated by - it's a kick in the teeth to Jana and JD Duggar, Tabitha Paine, the Maxwell SAHDs, the Arndt manboys, Michael Bates, etc etc, if the measure for adulthood is "have had a kid" - not to mention people with medical issues etc etc. 

I don't understand how people who pride themselves on being "christian" can be so damn rude about people who haven't found the right partner yet, and/or have got issues with fertility.  And at the same time say we're rude and judgemental?

3 hours ago, Koala said:

If you agree with them, you're a "fan" (and they should probably write a book to tell you more), but if you dare disagree, you're a "stalker" or "troll". Someone  needs to tell these folks how the internet works.  Just because you put it out there, doesn't mean you are going to get hand claps and head pats.  Someone might just tell you that you're full of shit.  

Yes, this, exactly.  All the "holier than thou" modesty blogs, and "let me tell you how many times I spanked my children" stories....  and let's not forget, the ones who monetise their blogs, and so are earning from us all, but simultaneously complaining that we read...

[JermajestyDuggar]

33 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

It's actually kind of interesting to see how others react to this site. I mean, fj is definitely a weird phenomenon, something I'd have a lot of trouble explaining to my mom. I Google my name from time to time to see how I might look to prospective employers, and while I've never found anything surprising, I have no idea what would go through my mind if I found out I was the subject of a lengthy discussion. Basically I'm saying that it's understandable that not everyone has the same views about privacy and courtesy online.

But they put the info out there! That's what's so hilarious about this! They post so much information about their lives online that if a potential employer googled them, they would get information from many different places online. Not just FJ. If my future employer googled me, they would find very very little.

Plus who will be hiring these fundie women anyway? Don't they all just happen to want to stay at home with their millions of kids?

[NachosFlandersStyle]

32 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But they put the info out there! That's what's so hilarious about this! They post so much information about their lives online that if a potential employer googled them, they would get information from many different places online. Not just FJ. If my future employer googled me, they would find very very little.

Plus who will be hiring these fundie women anyway? Don't they all just happen to want to stay at home with their millions of kids?

Oh yeah, I mean don't dish it out if you can't take it, and I think that goes for both us and them. But I also think we're living in a weird transitional time when people are becoming comfortable putting a lot of personal stuff on social media but we don't really have clear, Emily Post-style guidelines about how to behave online. One person might say "well if it's visible online it's open season" while another thinks "but I'm not trying to talk to you, so butt out." Until we have broadly agreed upon standards, there are going to be a lot of disagreements about where to draw the line-- is it okay to message this person who I don't know personally, am I overreacting if I block someone who annoys me, can I repost something my friend did to a larger audience, etc. I just finished reading "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" and it's got me thinking a lot about how our culture comes to conclusions about these unwritten standards.

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Oh yeah, I mean don't dish it out if you can't take it, and I think that goes for both us and them. But I also think we're living in a weird transitional time when people are becoming comfortable putting a lot of personal stuff on social media but we don't really have clear, Emily Post-style guidelines about how to behave online. One person might say "well if it's visible online it's open season" while another thinks "but I'm not trying to talk to you, so butt out." Until we have broadly agreed upon standards, there are going to be a lot of disagreements about where to draw the line-- is it okay to message this person who I don't know personally, am I overreacting if I block someone who annoys me, can I repost something my friend did to a larger audience, etc. I just finished reading "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" and it's got me thinking a lot about how our culture comes to conclusions about these unwritten standards.

I get what you're saying. Appropriate Behavior online is still a fairly new concept and has changed over the years. However it does seem like it would be common sense to everyone involved if those who don't want a lot of private information to become fodder for online forums (that have been around for years), then they would at least lock down their fb and Instagram. I'm a nobody and my shit is locked down. And it's quick and easy. Even my mom can do it :-P

[Coconut Flan]

I don't think human nature will ever be such that public behavior can't be publicly discussed.  I think that's what many of these people don't understand.  You can't control other people simply by saying they shouldn't do that.  If you don't like it, you have to look at what's within your ability to do to stop it or learn to live with it.

[polecat]

Quote

And I'm obviously uneducated because I'm homeschooled. 

No, you're uneducated because you don't know the difference between "their" and "they're" (and it isn't a typo -- it's a mistake you made repeatedly in your comment thread until one of your friends called you on it). 

You're uneducated because you don't question your own assumptions (although you're happy questioning others' assumptions). 

You're uneducated because you are incapable of seeing multiple sides of an issue (young mothers vs. older mothers for example -- there ARE pros and cons to both, you know. Or actually, I guess you don't know). 

You're uneducated because you don't seem to have learned much about self-control or managing your emotional responses. 

You're uneducated because your thinking is inflexible.

You're uneducated because you cannot (or will not) consider -- not accept, just consider -- alternative viewpoints. 

You're uneducated because you cannot tolerate ambiguity. It's all or nothing.

You're uneducated because of your know-it-all attitude.

I had never heard of you before this thread, and yet, you still revealed that much of yourself with your flippant, silly, childish comments. It might be time to re-evaluate how you present yourself if appearing educated is your goal. 

 

[BlessaYourHeart]

Apparently we didn't realise shes been 'making fun' of us 

[withaj]

12 minutes ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

Apparently we didn't realise shes been 'making fun' of us 

 Yeah, I think we got that.

[BlessaYourHeart]

1 minute ago, withaj said:

 Yeah, I think we got that.

she gives a whole new meaning to the term special snowflake....

[teachergirl]

What was weird to me was someone Like Dillon Grady commenting....I think we have only ever talked about his wedding announcement and son being born as well as his wife's connection to Lourdes Torres.  Nothing bad or mean right?  I will also like to say this about them and in particular Lydia, things are going well right now but when you have two marginally employed people and no education and life happens and it will, things could go bad quickly.  These people seem to jump from job to job and nothing ever seems to be a solid job with insurance, benefits, etc.  You look at their job histories and they either cant hold on or  move on to another low wage job.  I will say it again, the saddest thing is to see all of them have the chance to expand their horizons and they never do.