Another Duggar courting- Joy and Austin, Pt3

[eveandadam]

As many have said before in this thread: I also call a holiday engagement and a spring/early summer wedding (maybe may or june).
 Joy will still be 19 and 20 when her first child arrives. This is scary!

 

Concerning Jana being the only older girl to take care of the household. I think Johanna and Jennifer are old enough in Duggar years to help out a lot. And I do think that we will see the Duggar boys being married off in quick succession in 2017 and 2018. I think Joy and Joseph will get married in 2017, JD and Josiah in 2018, which would leave only 12 children (including that cousin they took in) at home, if Jana stays unmarried.

I can see the calculation Jana could be doing in her head: on average, the Duggar children are getting married at 21/22 years old (Joy at 19 (probably), Josh 20, Jessa at 21, Jinger at 22, Jill 23) if you do not count JD or Jana. If Jana waits until she is 35 years old, then by that time there could only be 4 teenagers left in the household (Johanna down to Josie), which would be an easy household to manage for Jana, with only girls left and all above the age of 15. If she waits until 30, there will probaly be 7 children and teenagers left, which is not so bad compared to the decades of hard work and infants, toddlers and small children before.

I hope Jana takes into account that her siblings might dump her nieces and nephews at her, which would make the same situation even worse than before. Free Jana!!!! She has to weigh the pros and cons of getting married now and having more children of her own or of waiting a few years and having maybe only 3 or 4 children but being the person with all the nieces and nephews to take care of. It's a hard decision to make.

 

 

[VelociRapture]

7 hours ago, marmalade said:

So, she's selfish and will just abandon Jana to be the ONLY one serving that passel of boys? Joy's a lot of things, but I don't think she'd do that, not on purpose. 

I am in the "arranged marriage" camp. I think this has been set up for quite some time. I imagine there was some pressure by Pa Forsyth nudging Austin in Joy's direction so it looked organic. 

Remember, Boob tried this once before, but it failed spectacularly with the revelations of "Sin in the Camp." I can't believe that story actually panned out. eta:  We have another situation of close family friends and a sweet quid pro quo deal; both men benefit monetarily from this pairing. 

I don't think she would be selfish for doing so. Foolish? Possibly. It depends on how mature they both actually are and how well they actually know one another.

The only selfish people in this equation are her parents for creating a situation where she may have decided to jump into marriage in order to avoid caring for her siblings. That said, she's also old enough to legally make her own choices and she could choose not to marry right now if she wanted to. So if this winds up blowing up in her face I won't have much sympathy for her.

@eveandadamAt this point she will most likely welcome their first kid around 20 at the youngest. I highly doubt she will be married before March or April. I could see them even pushing that back into the summer so any announcement comes after she turns 20 in late October. Similar to how things went for John and Alyssa Webster - married in May when she was 19 and announced their pregnancy after her 20th birthday in November.

[HereticHick]

12 hours ago, Marissap said:

How would Joy see this?  She must have a secret IG or something. 

I don't have an IG account at all, so if I can see Tim & Franicia's post, so can Joy.

I don't think a bridal shower is on the horizon--just an engagement party.  Look for a bridal shower in March.  And I predict an outdoorsy honeymoon--perhaps the Canadian Rockies.

[emscm]

11 hours ago, marmalade said:

So, she's selfish and will just abandon Jana to be the ONLY one serving that passel of boys? Joy's a lot of things, but I don't think she'd do that, not on purpose. 

I am in the "arranged marriage" camp. I think this has been set up for quite some time. I imagine there was some pressure by Pa Forsyth nudging Austin in Joy's direction so it looked organic. 

Remember, Boob tried this once before, but it failed spectacularly with the revelations of "Sin in the Camp." I can't believe that story actually panned out. eta:  We have another situation of close family friends and a sweet quid pro quo deal; both men benefit monetarily from this pairing. 

I don't think Joy is being deliberately selfish even if her decision does have anything to do with her role at the TTH. If it does, she may have been thinking that she can't make decisions about her future based solely on how it will effect her sister's future. 

Not that I am trying to defend the choices Joy might have made or speculate about her reasons, but the fact remains that the situation could very well be flipped. If Jana was in a relationship and deciding to get married, she would be leaving Joy alone as the only adult sister left to take care of the household. We can speculate about her reasons not to start a relationship all we want, but that one single element is probably not her entire motivation. 

 

[nausicaa]

13 hours ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

I'm wondering if Joy is already engaged. This book is straight up for engaged couples who are in the premarital counseling stage. How much you wanna bet they'll do what they did with Jinger and announce their engagement a month after the public courtship announcement. Christmas engagement announcement, April wedding. Still can't believe Joy has a boyfriend.

Totally agree that they're engaged. No way would her picture be up on his family's website otherwise. Plus, after Josiah and Marjorie, Jim Bob is going to ensure there are no more public failed courtships. 

And agree with your timeline. Late December engagement announcement about "Christmas blessings" and a photo op in front of the tree and a wedding sometime in the late spring/early summer. They might push the wedding back some just because she's so young, but no later than this summer. 

[infooverload]

On 11/28/2016 at 1:39 PM, Englandgirl2491 said:

How long was Maegan's courtship?

I was looking through Fort Rock's Facebook page and per the page Maegan started a courtship in July and Bobby proposed in August. Seemed they had known each other as friends for a few years before.

[nolongerIFBx]

On 11/29/2016 at 8:51 AM, nst said:

i can top that - i put my bank card in the machine - punched in numbers for 200 dollars and left it in the slot and left - not realizing until like 6 hours later and actually went back to the bank machine at safeway and asked to talk to the manager and yes he just stared at me because i didn't have a receipt 

 

I found a card in an ATM once time! Fortunately a branch of the bank was close by so I dropped it in their overnight deposit slot. I figured that was better than leaving it there and taking a chance that someone might take it and go shopping. So, obviously you aren't the only person who has one this!

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

I just saw a pic of Joy, with James (I think) and boy, she look so young, it reminds me again why this is so crazy/sad. Everyday when I log in,  I am a bit afraid to check this Joy thread in case of engagement announcement. I'd love for this to go the way of Josiah's courtship, but I know it won't at this stage.

[freedom_for_all]

16 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

Remember, @marmalade, Joy is supposedly great friends with Sierra and Sierra married young. I wonder if this had any impact on Joy's decision to court. As others (and I) have mentioned, I think realizing that she was going to be 50% of the "big girls" who live at home and have to serve that passel of boys played into it as well. 

 

That is a very good point. How old is Sierra? In my head she is the same "generation" as MeeChelle because she has kids but now I realise she can't be older than 29ish!

[HereticHick]

7 minutes ago, freedom_for_all said:

That is a very good point. How old is Sierra? In my head she is the same "generation" as MeeChelle because she has kids but now I realise she can't be older than 29ish!

We wish she was 29ish. She's all of 27.  She could pop out another dozen before she's finished.

[CorruptionInc.]

I would vomit up my food if people do a cover - Anna, Jill, Jinger and Joy all pregnant at the same time. Maybe Jessa too. 

[missegeno]

38 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

I would vomit up my food if people do a cover - Anna, Jill, Jinger and Joy all pregnant at the same time. Maybe Jessa too. 

This time Jessa might be the one who looks uncomfortably pregnant while the others try to push their bellies out. Lol

[Iamtheway]

On 2016-11-30 at 3:27 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

One time I stood in front of the front door to my house repeatedly hitting the "unlock" button on my car keys, and wondering why that wouldn't open the door.

I did that twice last week. 

[Snarkle Motion]

I will do my best to tread very carefully....I'm not sure if people are avoiding the topic because it's forbidden. I believe that JB may have rushed recent courtships for his daughters for less than noble reasons. While I believe Jinger was genuinely in love I wait to be convinced about Joy.

[marmalade]

10 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I don't think she would be selfish for doing so. Foolish? Possibly. It depends on how mature they both actually are and how well they actually know one another.

The only selfish people in this equation are her parents for creating a situation where she may have decided to jump into marriage in order to avoid caring for her siblings. That said, she's also old enough to legally make her own choices and she could choose not to marry right now if she wanted to. So if this winds up blowing up in her face I won't have much sympathy for her.

@eveandadamAt this point she will most likely welcome their first kid around 20 at the youngest. I highly doubt she will be married before March or April. I could see them even pushing that back into the summer so any announcement comes after she turns 20 in late October. Similar to how things went for John and Alyssa Webster - married in May when she was 19 and announced their pregnancy after her 20th birthday in November.

I did qualify my "selfish" statement by saying that I don't think Joy would do it intentionally.

I also agree that this is her parents' fault. It also falls in line with my belief that this is an arranged marriage, which makes this ENTIRELY her parents' fault. Jordyn's even turning 8 in about 6 weeks, plenty old enough to pick up light sister-mom duty when Jill, Jessa, and Anna drop off their spawn to be babysat. 

[infooverload]

Have the Forsythe parents ever indicated why they only have 2 children? Not really anyone's business, just curious considering their circle of friends include these large families who opt to not use birth control.

[Iamtheway]

On 2016-11-30 at 2:59 PM, JesSky03 said:

Stress causing infertility is generally a myth. It typically takes a large amount of stress to actually hinder your fertility- like a loved one dying. I think it's possible that Jill is extremely stressed and overwhelmed with their living situation but I'm not sure if she's that stressed that it could be causing her to not get pregnant. She appears healthy- I don't see bags under her eyes, she is keeping her weight up, and appears relaxed in pictures (at least to me). But for what it's worth I hope that Jill is not experiencing secondary infertility. My husband and I are just now beginning some infertility testing as we have been trying for over a year now with no luck. It has been the hardest and most challenging year of my life and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, even a fundie like Jill. (I'm not trying to call you out or say you do wish it on them, hope it doesn't sound that way).

Good luck with the tests! Unwanted infertility is so horribly soul crushing. I don't wish it on anyone. We tried for five years and did five unsuccessful ivf:s before we had Miniway. Now that he's here all the heartache is pretty much forgotten. I hope they find something wrong that's easily fixable with one of you. Not knowing why just makes it worse I think. 

People saying stress causes infertility always reminds me of the politician that said women couldn't get pregnant when they were raped. If stress caused infertility that would be true. There also wouldn't be any children born during wars and someone that has five small children and breaks down in the laundry room wouldn't continue popping out blessings like a gum ball machine. 

[LovelyLuna]

I’ve always had a soft spot for Joy. I hope she's happy. I not ready for her transfer of headship. 

[Marissap]

9 hours ago, HereticHick said:

I don't have an IG account at all, so if I can see Tim & Franicia's post, so can Joy.

I don't think a bridal shower is on the horizon--just an engagement party.  Look for a bridal shower in March.  And I predict an outdoorsy honeymoon--perhaps the Canadian Rockies.

Yes but you also have (presumably) unrestricted internet access. I just questioned it because these were the people that couldn't watch commercials when their parents were on tv but they. AN peruse all the IG they want?  Seems off to me!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Snarkle Motion said:

I will do my best to tread very carefully....I'm not sure if people are avoiding the topic because it's forbidden. I believe that JB may have rushed recent courtships for his daughters for less than noble reasons. While I believe Jinger was genuinely in love I wait to be convinced about Joy.

I'm sure he wants to marry as many of them as possible while TLC is paying for it, he's got 9 daughters and weddings for at least a 1000 isn't cheap, even if only serving a melted scoop of ice cream in a parking lot. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Iamtheway said:

Good luck with the tests! Unwanted infertility is so horribly soul crushing. I don't wish it on anyone. We tried for five years and did five unsuccessful ivf:s before we had Miniway. Now that he's here all the heartache is pretty much forgotten. I hope they find something wrong that's easily fixable with one of you. Not knowing why just makes it worse I think. 

People saying stress causes infertility always reminds me of the politician that said women couldn't get pregnant when they were raped. If stress caused infertility that would be true. There also wouldn't be any children born during wars and someone that has five small children and breaks down in the laundry room wouldn't continue popping out blessings like a gum ball machine. 

I have a friend that I've known for about 5 years now, she really opened my eyes to how NOT to talk to infertile women. Like don't give advice, don't say it is meant to be, or that it will happen when you relax, or when you least expect it stuff like that.  Her & her husband had been trying for 15 years to get pregnant, they did sever rounds of IUI, and 2 of IVF, and neither worked. Around a year and a 1/2 ago she just got pregnant, no one was more shocked than her. It was so sweet, every ones reactions were screams of excitement and  tears of joy.  Their adorable baby boy is 7 months old now, but she still doesn't want to hear people talk about how to get pregnant or give advice because she really really knows what is like to be desperate to have a child. 

[CorruptionInc.]

2 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

I will do my best to tread very carefully....I'm not sure if people are avoiding the topic because it's forbidden. I believe that JB may have rushed recent courtships for his daughters for less than noble reasons. While I believe Jinger was genuinely in love I wait to be convinced about Joy.

It's called a TV show, ratings and season renewals...

[Iamtheway]

36 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I have a friend that I've known for about 5 years now, she really opened my eyes to how NOT to talk to infertile women. Like don't give advice, don't say it is meant to be, or that it will happen when you relax, or when you least expect it stuff like that.  Her & her husband had been trying for 15 years to get pregnant, they did sever rounds of IUI, and 2 of IVF, and neither worked. Around a year and a 1/2 ago she just got pregnant, no one was more shocked than her. It was so sweet, every ones reactions were screams of excitement and  tears of joy.  Their adorable baby boy is 7 months old now, but she still doesn't want to hear people talk about how to get pregnant or give advice because she really really knows what is like to be desperate to have a child. 

Oh, that's wonderful! I don't think I could have done 15 years. That's a long time!

My years of infertility have thought me to never talk to anyone about pregnancies or babies if they don't bring it up first. You never know what might hurt someone. 

[trustworthy]

25 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

It's called a TV show, ratings and season renewals...

If you can keep the courting-engagement-wedding train going you're guaranteed another season or at least a three-part special.  No one wants to tune in to watch the lost boys build a tree house.  It's all about the young love ...

[RosyDaisy]

Wait what, destroyed!!? I can't search on my phone for some reason can you fill me in?

A tornado plowed through the town. It's a mess there.