Duggars by the Dozenty!!11!- Part 22: More threads than Duggars

[halcionne]

@VelociRapture I had typed out a comment that was similar to yours, but you said it much better than I did! If JB&M are the best option, which, apparently, they are, it says a lot about what Rachel and her son have been up against.

For folks who are suggesting the towing company involved is a Duggar company, I'm pretty sure it went kaput with the used car dealership. 

[Jana814]

3 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

Not to take attention away from the 20th Duggar, anyone wonder where Mary went? I don't think she lives with them anymore. Maybe she lives with Deana?

I think she's still their. Maybe she dosen't want to be seen on camera. 

[MarblesMom]

I read some public court papers on this case, and it seems (to me) the kid's mom is in a weird place personally right now.  Someone mentioned upthread that perhaps the Duggars could have taken her in, too, well... people at rock bottom don't always want help (and face it, knowing what that particular lifeline would be like, I would nope right on out, myself).  She may not want "help" or "salvation" right now, and until she figures herself out, having one less thing to worry about (the child) might be a positive point for her.

That being said, I am in no way completely comfortable with the kid going to the TTH.  Deep sigh.

Hoping the kid gets more Jana/positive nurturing-adjustment time and little to no time with JB and M.  Jana seems to have her head screwed on right most days. (That is a HUGE compliment from me on that front and I could be completely wrong.)  

[dianapavelovna]

So IANAL, but those documents were filed in probate court. I don't think CPS/DHS is involved in this at all. The boy's mother voluntarily gave guardianship to her mother (Michelle's sister Carolyn). Carolyn was incapacitated by a stroke, so they are going through the legal motions to give the Duggars legal guardianship. There's no evidence I can see that the kiddo was ever or is now in protective custody. If the Duggars are granted permanent guardianship, they can pursue a private adoption, which would probably include a pretty low level of scrutiny. 

Wishing the little guy the best, whatever the situation is. I agree with what lots of others have mentioned about his chaotic life thus far and the difficulty of adjusting to a family as ... unique as the Duggars.

[Cleopatra7]

2 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

He will be sharing a room with adult men, and the boy closest in age is 12. Not suggesting any impropriety, just weird and maybe not comfortable for him.

Going from being in a family of two (child and mom or child and grandma) to being in a family of 20+ would be difficult and weird for any child. The mishandling of the molestations show that the Duggars are unable or unwilling to provide extra attention or resources to children that need it. Throwing J'anonymous in the boys' dorm to be raised by sister-moms and brother-dads is going to be a recipe for disaster, especially if he has emotional or learning difficulties.

[Bad Wolf]

J'anonymous. That's perfect. @Cleopatra7

[CoveredInBees]

OK. So I've scraped myself off the ceiling and have given it some thought.

The plus side in this is that it's not as if they've been looking to adopt (as far as we know), this is a family member in need and they've done a very nice thing by taking him in. I cannot snark on them for that (I can for many other things but not for this). Is it the best place for him? probably not, but it may be the best option open to him right now.

I sincerely hope that there is some sort of agreement that keeps him off screen.  

And that's it.

If he's brought into the public domain then I will have a lot more to say, but unless that happens my personal feeling is that this situation is off limits for me.  

[OyToTheVey]

9 hours ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Going from being in a family of two (child and mom or child and grandma) to being in a family of 20+ would be difficult and weird for any child. The mishandling of the molestations show that the Duggars are unable or unwilling to provide extra attention or resources to children that need it. Throwing J'anonymous in the boys' dorm to be raised by sister-moms and brother-dads is going to be a recipe for disaster, especially if he has emotional or learning difficulties.

I'm an only child and it sounds like an absolute nightmare. I was always around people and family but I had a place to hide when they all annoyed me. I can't imagine how this kid at 8 will handle all that noise and lack of privacy.

[Arix]

10 hours ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Going from being in a family of two (child and mom or child and grandma) to being in a family of 20+ would be difficult and weird for any child. The mishandling of the molestations show that the Duggars are unable or unwilling to provide extra attention or resources to children that need it. Throwing J'anonymous in the boys' dorm to be raised by sister-moms and brother-dads is going to be a recipe for disaster, especially if he has emotional or learning difficulties.

Actually, he may end up in the girl's dorm. We've seen small boys co-sleeping with their moms(sisters) before.

[Coconut Flan]

14 minutes ago, Arix said:

Actually, he may end up in the girl's dorm. We've seen small boys co-sleeping with their moms(sisters) before.

I don't see the Duggars doing that.  I think Jackson was much younger than 8 when he was thought to be sleeping in the girls' dorm and this kid isn't even a sibling. 

[griffin]

you're right coconut flan, toddlers slept in the dorm so michelle wouldn't have to be bothered with them. at eight years old, cousin oliver is a third-grader. no longer in diapers, can dress himself and fix his own dry ice cream cone-breakfast etc.

[Arix]

19 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

I don't see the Duggars doing that.  I think Jackson was much younger than 8 when he was thought to be sleeping in the girls' dorm and this kid isn't even a sibling. 

I'm awful at guessing the age of kids. 3-10 all looks so similar.

[nastyhobbitses]

10 minutes ago, griffin said:

you're right coconut flan, toddlers slept in the dorm so michelle wouldn't have to be bothered with them. at eight years old, cousin oliver is a third-grader. no longer in diapers, can dress himself and fix his own dry ice cream cone-breakfast etc.

At 8 years old, he's not cute/malleable/attention-getting enough for Michelle. I would be very pleasantly surprised if she or Jim Bob give a fuck about him beyond his potential marketability and the tax credits they'll probably get from the custody arrangement.

[sansan]

15 minutes ago, griffin said:

you're right coconut flan, toddlers slept in the dorm so michelle wouldn't have to be bothered with them. at eight years old, cousin oliver is a third-grader. no longer in diapers, can dress himself and fix his own dry ice cream cone-breakfast etc.

OMG, I just thought of another thing for this little boy, BEING HOME SCHOOLED. If he already was educated like that never mind, but he may go into the SOTDRT and they come to the realization that he is ready to graduate according to their standards, grrrr.

[Bad Wolf]

A kid who's been bounced around a lot may not be academically advanced. When I worked CPS, the thinking was that a kid lost 6 months every time they were moved. Many foster parents thought it was more than that.

One thing's for sure, SOTDRT is not going to help.

[HarleyQuinn]

I couldn't imagine going to public school then getting stuck with SOTDRT. What a nightmare. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

19 hours ago, BlackberryGirl said:

We are beyond blessed. The origional Blackberrykids were......interesting. ADHD, one for sure Aspie (born long before Asbergers was identified) one with minor developmental issues.. Possible Aspie.  

The grands are extremely neurotypical, fun, smart, easy to deal with and amazingly unscathed by the oddness of our family situation. Older grand now attends high school where BlackBerryBoy teaches, and seems to  be having a blast.

the only cloud on the horizon is that BBB will continue teaching til he's at least 70... 4 more yearsGood thing he loves it so.

This scares the hell out of me, having to raise my grandkids.  I don't have any yet, thankfully, my kids are 16 and almost 19.  We've beat it into their heads about being smart, being careful and make sure you don't get caught up in a mess you can't get yourself out of, like getting knocked up or knocking someone up that you aren't compatible with.  Yes sex is fun, no I don't expect them  to wait until they are married, and they know that, but I told them to wait until they are stable enough at least emotionally to have kids. 

[BlackberryGirl]

52 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This scares the hell out of me, having to raise my grandkids.  I don't have any yet, thankfully, my kids are 16 and almost 19.  We've beat it into their heads about being smart, being careful and make sure you don't get caught up in a mess you can't get yourself out of, like getting knocked up or knocking someone up that you aren't compatible with.  Yes sex is fun, no I don't expect them  to wait until they are married, and they know that, but I told them to wait until they are stable enough at least emotionally to have kids. 

You know the saying, "God laughs when you make plans?" 

 We are teachers for Pete's sake, and I worked with teens who were in foster care... We beat it into their heads about being smart, being careful..don't knock someone up...etcetc... After oldest Blackberrykid died, her siblings basically fell apart... Counselling, support, help... Didn't work,  soooooooooooo we are now raising kids again.  I am 63 and disabled, BlackberryBoy is 67.  The younger grand is 10. Do the math...and keep your fingers crossed

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

56 minutes ago, BlackberryGirl said:

You know the saying, "God laughs when you make plans?" 

 We are teachers for Pete's sake, and I worked with teens who were in foster care... We beat it into their heads about being smart, being careful..don't knock someone up...etcetc... After oldest Blackberrykid died, her siblings basically fell apart... Counselling, support, help... Didn't work,  soooooooooooo we are now raising kids again.  I am 63 and disabled, BlackberryBoy is 67.  The younger grand is 10. Do the math...and keep your fingers crossed

Oh yeah, shit happens, and I'm sorry you've lost a child, I can imagine what it does to the parents let alone the siblings.  

I didn't mean to sound like I was trashing your parenting skills, I'm just hoping my kids actually listen to us, because they know more than we do an all that right now.   My one saving grace is my kids have watched my siblings kids from time to time they are 5 (almost 6) and the youngest 2 are 4.  My 16 year old has said several times "I'm NEVER having kids" HA! Good keep that up at least for the next 10 to 15 years. 

[Carol]

I can see this going two ways.  This boy will suffer unnecessarily because he will be told Jesus is the answer to all his problems, problems he doesn't even know he has.  He will be forced to conform to the Duggar lifestyle, no socializing outside of the family except with other fundies, no freedom that he's likely had if his mother was not parenting well, increased acting out that could be treated by the rod...a whole host of things that could set him back physically, mentally and emotionally.

OTOH, he could enjoy the company of siblings and a home with food, love and a bed.  I suspect it will be about 70% of the first way, 30% of the second.  I can foresee a lot of problems.  Bringing an 8 year old child into a home means the parents have to be flexible and  understanding about behavior issues.  Jim Bob and Michelle aren't remotely flexible, in fact they are inflexible and punishing.  I suspect that Jana may be similar, she doesn't know anything else.  I hope someone other than family is watching over this child.  And I don't mean god.

[Dandruff]

Will the child be assigned a buddy...or is he considered old enough to be a buddy (say to one of the next-generation Duggars)?

[Italiangirl]

4 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Will the child be assigned a buddy...or is he considered old enough to be a buddy (say to one of the next-generation Duggars)?

Good question. Maybe he will be assigned to a buddy for now and when they are sure about him follow their rules he become a buddy for the next generation 

[twinmama]

From the old thread:

Quote

And a single mum gets three years probation for stealing a pocket knife and $2 ????? Are those crimes saying  'I am a dangerous criminal, you need to take my kid before I stab him' or 'I want to feed my kid with a $2 can of soup and I need something to open the can with'?

If this is really her situation, this is so Jean Valjean. 

[VelociRapture]

5 minutes ago, twinmama said:

From the old thread:

If this is really her situation, this is so Jean Valjean. 

The problem with that poster's theory is that she had already granted custody to her mother when she was arrested for breaking and entering - which means her mom was likely responsible financially. Carolyn received custody in August last year. Rachel was arrested in April of this year.

So I don't think the arrest was a desperate attempt to provide for her son. It's possible, but I don't think it's the reason why she did what she did (and I honestly have no clue what the reason may be either.)

[twinmama]

Just now, VelociRapture said:

The problem with that theory is that she had already granted custody to her mother when she was arrested for breaking and entering - which means her mom was likely responsible financially. Carolyn received custody in August last year. Rachel was arrested in April of this year.

So I don't think the arrest was a desperate attempt to provide for her son. It's possible, but I don't think it's the reason why she did what she did (and I honestly have no clue what the reason may be either.)

Yeah who knows what her situation really is, not really our business anyway. I am sad that there are times when the Duggars are the best option for a child, but religious shitshow and reality tv is probably a better choice than homeless hungry child.