Rembis Fam: 11 kids, CPS, antivax, homeschool, CPS

[seattlechic]

41 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Isn't their oldest son still in the home since he's almost a legal adult? I wonder how he feels. I hope he gets to visit his siblings regularly.

Unpopular opinion: I hope he doesn't get to see them, and this is why. If he is still under the impression that the life the Rembis offer is normal, I don't think the children need his influencing them right now. I pray they are safe, fed, clothed, and clean. 

[Howl]

The oldest son is legally an adult and living with his parents.  He was old enough to not be put into foster care. 

 

1 hour ago, Jess said:

Remember when they took off and went to an out of state concert.

That was an International House of Prayer gig/party/convention/revival/blow out/prayer fest in Kansas City.  Someone bought them tickets. 

The kids are getting a consistent, scheduled environment, no food deprivation and structured schooling.  This can only be good for them, although I'm sure they desperately miss their parents.  The judge did mandate increased visitation for the parents.  The saddest would be the infant and the toddlers.  If returned, it would be a terrible adjustment, since I'm sure they have totally bonded with their foster parents.  

I'm amazed that Claire isn't pregnant again (that we know of).   

[Nikedagain?]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I really don't think Claire is capable of learning how to parent properly.   There's something sadly off there but I think she loves them.

 

This case has always bothered me. Clearly, Claire has some limitations and her husband has taken advantage of that. Very worrisome for kids with many needs to be met...

[Georgiana]

Christ. They essentially are only being asked to meet the standards I had to meet when adopting my animals...and they can't even do that.

One of my dreams is to fix up an old mansion on some nice land. They come up for sale not irregularly around here, and can be pretty affordable if they're enough of a project. Maybe if I meet my goal down the line and have the space, I'll sign up to take in a family like this and keep them together.

Though in some cases, splitting them apart may be best because it stops them from perpetuating beliefs/behaviors onto each other even after removal. With such a wide age range, these kids have very different needs, and older children may inadvertently harm younger children in a misguided attempt to "protect" them.

[acheronbeach]

@Georgiana I know it's not a popular opinion, but I agree with you.  As a young prosecutor, I had a memorably depressing file with an intelligent and charming fifteen year old boy (it was a weed possession or something equally minor).  His mother had serious mental health issues and his dad was in the penitentiary.  He had been placed in a relative's home with his 19 year old brother.  The brother was deeply into gang life, and was a conduit for antisocial messages and values from Dad in prison.  Just before I left that office, my 15 year old - now 18 and legally an adult - had beat another person into a coma.  He told his probation officer that he was proud of being "like his brother and dad."  When he was 15 he told me he'd wanted to become a duty counsel lawyer.  He could have.  

Just because someone is family doesn't mean they are a positive or valuable influence in a child's life.  I've seen way too many times where family members are a conduit for shaming or intimidating their relatives into silence or worse.    

[Lurky]

This part had me rolling my eyes - Claire's response to the fact she was neglecting her kids would be to install CCTV and never let them out of her sight?  From one extreme to another!

22 hours ago, Howl said:

She said the couple plan to install a home surveillance system to keep an eye in their children and that the home’s floorplan will also keep her children within her line of sight.

 

[SoGladIWasCofE]

CCTV strikes me as really missing the point too. 

[Howl]

Well, yes.  CCTV might work when she's awake.  It seems that part of the problem is that she slept. A lot. 

[fundiefun]

It says they have been reunited

[Georgiana]

On 8/9/2017 at 9:24 PM, acheronbeach said:

Just because someone is family doesn't mean they are a positive or valuable influence in a child's life.  I've seen way too many times where family members are a conduit for shaming or intimidating their relatives into silence or worse.    

Definitely.  I have experience with the foster care system, so I've seen various cases where siblings were split up for their best interest.  

One thing lay-folk forget is that a common response to being abused is to act out that same abuse onto others.  That's why sometimes siblings need to be separated, especially in large families, because it is impossible to supervise so many children adequately to ensure there is not additional abuse going on between the siblings.  Even with just a pair of siblings it can be very difficult to do (this is one of the few cases where I would advise CCTV everywhere).  

I've seen this happen personally.  It's tragic, and it ABSOLUTELY is not the fault of the minor victims who are just trying to process the trauma they have been through, but at the same time, you cannot allow this to continue or allow younger children to be victimized or re-victimized.  The #1 priority is safety. Over everything else, the kids need to be safe.  And sometimes sadly, being with a sibling automatically puts a child in danger.  

Another factor is the needs of the kids.  Teenagers and infants have VERY different needs when removed from their home.  Very.  And it can be hard to find one single home that meets the needs of a wide age range of kids.  And the more specific needs you have (trauma, educational neglect, general neglect, learning disabilities, special needs, etc), the harder it gets to find a single placement.  It may be better for the children to be placed in different homes at least in the short term where their individual needs can be addressed, and then potentially reunited at a later date than for each child to receive insufficient attention and not have their needs met.  

It's never easy to make the decision to split siblings, but sometimes it truly is  the best option.   

[Jess]

29 minutes ago, fundiefun said:

It says they have been reunited

Hopefully they are able to provide a safe, stable, living home environment this go around.

[acheronbeach]

I say less than 6 months before they've moved to a new state. 

[Howl]

1 hour ago, acheronbeach said:

I say less than 6 months before they've moved to a new state. 

I agree.  It probably won't be long before they make a run for the border. 

I'm sure William and Claire  will start acting out with CPS during home visits. I'd be very curious to know if the kids will be required to attend public school (or if the kids will want to attend public school) or if CPS will allow Claire to "homeschool".  Might be related to how the kids tested out for this last school year.  If they tested way behind grade level, I hope CPS requires them to enroll in public school.  Actually, I hope CPS makes them put the kids in public school, no matter what.  Before CPS had the kids, I suspect there was no regular schedule followed in that family, no regular bedtime, no regular meal times, school hours, whatever.  School will at least keep them organized, and give Claire time to do whatever the hell she does during the day. 

[Childless]

6 hours ago, Howl said:

I agree.  It probably won't be long before they make a run for the border. 

I'm sure William and Claire  will start acting out with CPS during home visits. I'd be very curious to know if the kids will be required to attend public school (or if the kids will want to attend public school) or if CPS will allow Claire to "homeschool".  Might be related to how the kids tested out for this last school year.  If they tested way behind grade level, I hope CPS requires them to enroll in public school.  Actually, I hope CPS makes them put the kids in public school, no matter what.  Before CPS had the kids, I suspect there was no regular schedule followed in that family, no regular bedtime, no regular meal times, school hours, whatever.  School will at least keep them organized, and give Claire time to do whatever the hell she does during the day. 

Having to show up daily at school will also allow those outside the family the ability to monitor for neglect.  Hopefully, that will give the state the opportunity to intervene and help before it gets so bad the children need to be removed again.

[Howl]

11 hours ago, Georgiana said:

Definitely.  I have experience with the foster care system, so I've seen various cases where siblings were split up for their best interest.  

Thanks for this insightful post.  Many issues I would never have considered.  Now I'm even more concerned for those kids. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

The house looks really nice. How could they afford it? Because they didn't have the expense of the ten children? I know they kept it pristine clean because it's easy to do when your ten kids aren't there. But now that they are back it will be trashed in no time. I have only two and they are tornados. I really do hope for the best for these kids but I can't help but think that in 6-12 months, it might become a similar situation again. I agree with others. I really hope they all go to public school. 

[Howl]

The Rembis' claimed that someone had offered to pay their rent for five (!) years. 

[Escadora]

If I'm remembering correctly, and someone please correct me if I'm not, this is the family where the mother had rotting placentas in a birthing tub near where the children played, the children were scavenging around in the outside rubbish areas and the like for food, and the parents would play loud rock music in the evenings in order to disguise the cries of the children they were beating from here to kingdom come?

And the state just went ahead and returned the kids to those parents? After they appeared to follow pretty much none of the recommendations?

Have I got it right here or am I not connecting it all?

I get that placing a family of that many kids into care might be a bit of a drain on funds, but is that not why the system exists in the first place? To remove children from situations like that and to put them into loving homes?

I could buy that maybe the mother, Claire, loves her kids and is willing to try harder, but the father makes my skin crawl. He doesn't care at all, clearly, and his happy charade won't last long, I bet.

And, even supposing the friend does pay their rent for five years, what the heck is going to happen after that? Back to the way it used to be? No dinner and nightly beatings, probably.

But then, I shouldn’t be surprised, CPS did send the Nog children back to live in perpetual homelessness and filth.

To echo @JermajestyDuggar's sentiments, I hope the kids get to go to public school and that I am proved wrong. I hope with all I have that the parents have managed to get their act together, but I'm not gonna put money on a happily ever after in this situation. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

44 minutes ago, Howl said:

The Rembis' claimed that someone had offered to pay their rent for five (!) years. 

What the actual fuck?! That's just enabling them. Hopefully that means they have to stay in that place for five years. So CPS can keep an eye on them. But that house will be trashed within six months. 

[Childless]

I think Mr. Rembis liked the kids gone.  Less work, less noise, cleaner house, more money to spend on himself, and he could play the victim of the mean ol' government and soak in the attention.

[Howl]

7 minutes ago, Childless said:

I think Mr. Rembis liked the kids gone.  Less work, less noise, cleaner house, more money to spend on himself, and he could play the victim of the mean ol' government and soak in the attention.

There's something about that guy that's just not right. 

[SoGladIWasCofE]

The pics of their house look ok. Looks like they've all got beds, plenty of space etc.

If the parents can keep that like it is now, provide food and a decent education, then reunification might be the right choice.

But apparently he's been with her since she was 15, which is creepy as hell.

[starfish]

The mother is "off" somehow, and the dad is super creepy. I too hope those children are vaccinated, and in public schools.