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The Stinking Housewife vs. Wedding Dresses


ThisOlGirl

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While I weigh over twice what my mother did when she got married, I also weighed fifteen pounds more than my mother did when she got married...when I was twelve. And I was quite a thin twelve year old. She was a tiny, tiny woman then. Not to mention I've had four inches on her since I was too young to get married.

I'm not even going to lie, she makes a point. Even if my mother's dress did fit me, my mom is divorced. It would be really weird to marry in the dress from a divorced marriage.

I don't like the smash the wedding cake tradition but it certainly is not new (photos of people my parents age all over with those) and I definitely think it's ridiculous to make it a morality issue. It simply isn't one.

Finally, the 'smash the birthday cake' 'tradition' among 1st birthdays? It's not done purposely, babies just reach out and grab it and "well that was cute, lets take a picture".

I really couldn't even follow most of what she was saying, it was so ridiculous.

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I'm not a fan of "Trash the Dress" either, because it seems so wasteful. There area a number of nonprofits who take once-worn wedding dresses and donate them to low-income women. There are a variety of other great alternatives to taking a dip in a lake in the dress. Also, it seems vain. Wedding photos are expensive enough. People actually pay for a professional photographer to take more shots, that frankly, mostly only the couple will care about?

I'm not a complete killjoy though. What on earth is wrong with letting a kid get messy and play with birthday cake?!?!

I don't think it's wasteful, even after they "trash the dress" I bet most people still keep it. Now is it vain? Sure. But I don't see a problem with wanting some more artistic photos of yourself in what is probably the most expensive dress you'll ever buy.

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That's...really weird. Has she got some massive sexual dysfunction...oh, it's the Lousewife, don't answer that.

My mum married in a pink twinset thing. In 1979. For the love of God, even if I was planning on getting married ever why would I wear that. She binned it long ago anyway, being unsentimental about that kind of stuff.

Anyway my mum is oliveskinned with dark hair and eyes and I am very paleskinned with blue eyes. How does the Lousewife think brides should dress if they don't resemble mama much? Should they wear something unflattering they feel stupid in, and how will that help with sexy tiem?

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Another vote for not being the same build as Mom and 70s wedding dress as to why I had a kick-ass dress of my own.

That being saved, I have saved my veil and headpiece, and hope that some day my daughter might want to use those.

Plus, for those of us with divorced parents, it seems unlucky. But those of us with divorced parents are probably doomed anyway, according to the TH. I know there's a superstition about wearing the veil of a happy bride for luck...

This reminds me of a conservative Christian columnist I read who railed against the "trend" of the bride and groom staying through the end of the reception instead of leaving early in a "getaway car" like the old days. She thinks that by staying through the party, the couple is flaunting that they have already had sex because they aren't rushing off to do it before the party is over. First of all, at my wedding at least half the guests were from out of town, and to me it would feel incredibly rude to leave early when they had spent so much time and money to fly in and celebrate.

I know, right? Half the fun of weddings in my family is getting everyone together and having a party whether it's outside at the lake, in a park setting, in a church reception hall - good food, open bar, togetherness, and plenty of blackmail pictures for later.

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I think Trash the Dress is really awesome. I would totally consider doing it, if I have a big wedding etc. To me it's like saying the dress isn't the important part of the business. Or maybe I just like the cool photos, idk.

On the subject of my mother's wedding dress, it was a miniskirt, and sleeveless. I suppose that would earn the seal of approval from this woman?

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My mother got married in April 1945 in whatever was her "best" dress at the time (i.e. last big push of WW2, husband heading off to god knows where). She was also at least 4" shorter than me and probably 2 bust cups bigger. Not a hope in hell for that dress.

My own dress was a cheap white polyester abomination that was all I could afford at the time. It trashed itself because we married in winter and I got mucky slush all over the hem line. I donated it to Goodwill years ago.

Regardless - still married 38 years later, despite my lack of care to the wedding dress. I guess I cared more for the man I was marrying than I did for what I was wearing. Silly me.

And today? I would totally love to have a pic of us making snow angels or something in our finery to celebrate our winter wedding. You can't disrespect the marriage by what you do to the dress.

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Here's another for not being able to wear Mom's wedding dress. When my mom got married, she was TINY and had no curves to speak of. She really didn't have anything in the boob department until she got pregnant with me.

As for me? Same height (5'2"), not fat (unless you think someone my height should be 100 lbs or less, to which I say "Fuck you!"), but with DDs and hips. Yeah, not happening.

Plus, if for some reason I did ask her to borrow my wedding dress for any possible wedding, her response would be: "Are you kidding? This is YOUR wedding, you need to have your OWN dress." And then she'd ask why I'd be interested in an early 80s monstrosity anyway. :D

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So basically a good Christian bride should only be thinking about sex when she gets married? Got it.

She's said things like this before too, how it spoils a wedding to know the couple aren't virgins because then the ceremony doesn't have the same sexual charge from the crowd imagining them having sex for the first time. It was pretty gross.

"Another reason many women do not wear their mother’s wedding gown is because they are too fat to fit the vintage dress"

Why do they hate fat people so much?

She really does. Even if I'd wanted to wear my mom's wedding dress (which I didn't; it's very 1977), there's no way I could've fit into it. When she got married she had full-blown anorexia. She was 5'4" and weighed 95 pounds. I'm not fat, but I am a size six and it just wasn't going to happen.

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I'm 30 and there are pictures of me smashing into a cake at my first birthday, so that's nothing new. At our daughter's birthday party last month we even had a special cake just for her to have fun with plus cupcakes for everyone else.

As for the trash the dress photos, I only know one bride IRL who did anything resembling that. A few people did it, the resulting photos wound up on The Knot or another of those vapid wedding planning websites, and now it's trendy for brides to do it or want to do it. My wedding dress is sitting in a storage box in my parents' basement. I was going to have a seamstress use the material to make a christening gown for our kids, but my parents saved my christening gown (which my mother hand-sewed) and Little Bug was baptized in that. Also, my dress was ivory and champagne, so it's not a bright white as a christening gown should be. Anyways...I'll probably never do much more than haul it out of the box to show our kids if they ever want to see it. If a daughter wants to wear it for her wedding and it fits, she's welcome to have it but I would never expect her to do so.

My mother's wedding gown was pure 1976 style, had been borrowed from her sister, and was later loaned to another sister. She has no idea where it ended up, nor does she care. I never would have worn it, although if it was available I would have wanted to try to use some of the fabric in my dress somehow.

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She's said things like this before too, how it spoils a wedding to know the couple aren't virgins because then the ceremony doesn't have the same sexual charge from the crowd imagining them having sex for the first time. It was pretty gross.

OH. MAH. GAWD! :o

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My mother got married in April 1945 in whatever was her "best" dress at the time (i.e. last big push of WW2, husband heading off to god knows where). She was also at least 4" shorter than me and probably 2 bust cups bigger. Not a hope in hell for that dress.

My own dress was a cheap white polyester abomination that was all I could afford at the time. It trashed itself because we married in winter and I got mucky slush all over the hem line. I donated it to Goodwill years ago.

Regardless - still married 38 years later, despite my lack of care to the wedding dress. I guess I cared more for the man I was marrying than I did for what I was wearing. Silly me.

And today? I would totally love to have a pic of us making snow angels or something in our finery to celebrate our winter wedding. You can't disrespect the marriage by what you do to the dress.

My momma and papa were married a few years before WWII and it was the same thing then. She wore her best dress at the time, as did all of her sisters and pretty much every women she knew. Weddings like we have now were out of reach for working class people then, especially just coming out of the Great Depression.

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I can't wear my mom's wedding dress because I'm a completely different size and shape than she was. No amount of tailoring could make both of us fit into the same dress. It would be easier and cheaper to just make a new one. I'm sure I'm not the only person with this same issue.

My mother got married in a fur coat in 1944, there was nothing to get in our occupied country and my mother was, oh shame, pregnant, so it was a very simple quite wedding, 5 minutes town hall and a quick ceremony in the consistory of the church. She dreamt of a daughter(s) getting married with all the pomp and circumstances. Fortunately for her my sisters fulfilled that dream.

My wedding dress was a black cotton India hippy-like dress, because (at that time) a white dress was too bourgeois for me and my husband to be who was dressed in a beige corduroy suit (no tie) mum was not amused to say the least. Again a simple quite wedding and oh shame not in church and a huge party in the pub.

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--She would like to know why more women don't just wear their mom's wedding dress. Um, my mom got married in 1974. Her dress was this Juliet-inspired monstrosity with itchy polyester for days. Very stylish in 1974, but no thank you.

Hey--I resemble that remark! ;). For me, it was 1973, but the Juliet dress was comfortable silk jersey. And no way was I going to make my daughter, in 2005, get married in my dress from my marriage to her father, the late Ex-Mr.-Hane #1.

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I'm not a fan of "Trash the Dress" either, because it seems so wasteful. There area a number of nonprofits who take once-worn wedding dresses and donate them to low-income women. There are a variety of other great alternatives to taking a dip in a lake in the dress. Also, it seems vain. Wedding photos are expensive enough. People actually pay for a professional photographer to take more shots, that frankly, mostly only the couple will care about?

I'm not a complete killjoy though. What on earth is wrong with letting a kid get messy and play with birthday cake?!?!

I agree.

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She'd hate how I let my son eat his yogurt for breakfast every morning. I give him his bath after breakfast. You guys do the math.

I wish I had known about "trash the dress" shoots. I would have 110% "trashed" my modern dress. (i had 2, one was a repro civil war one made by my brother, that I wore to the reception because of family DRAMAZ) I hated my modern dress. David's bridal piece of.... s**T :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

I think she should rename her blog "the haunting fear that someone somewhere is having FUN"[/quote]

That would be a good name for her blog. She pretty much bashes anything or anyone that tries to have fun. I thought her blog on how priests shouldn't be laughing or smiling was awful. As for wedding dress, I'm like others I would never wear my mom's wedding dress. She got married in 1970 and her dress was nice for the time. I'm a few inches taller than my mom and I'm skinner than what she was when she got married. The dress probably wouldn't fit me at all, but I would never wear it because it is dated.

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One of my grandmothers actually had a really pretty wedding dress that would be just the right kind of vintage today, and her daughter also wore it. I'm sure it wouldn't fit me, but I could see my cousin getting married in it. I do think it's nice when that happens, but it just couldn't for most of us. My mom's dress probably would fit me, but I wouldn't wear it because it's a very 80's dress and she doesn't expect me to.

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When I had my bridal shop, I loved working with brides and the seamstress on restyles. Just removing sleeves can modernize some gowns. No money in it for me, but so much fun. With one girl we took her mother's 1970's Juliet dress and made it strapless then used the sleeves to make a little bolero. Another girl decided against wearing her mother's gown so she turned it into a petticoat for under the gown she selected.

The Stinking Lousewife is a hateful killjoy.

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How ridiculous. Why does she care what other people do at their weddings? Why does she spend all her time thinking about other people having sex?

I would have loved to have worn my mother's 1948 wedding dress--it was simple and elegant. Unfortunately when I tried it on, we discovered that my shoulders are much broader across than my mother's. You can't diet away shoulders, and I wasn't about to amputate an arm so I could fit in the dress.

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You can't diet away shoulders, and I wasn't about to amputate an arm so I could fit in the dress.

Why not? Il faut souffrir pour être belle ;) (one must suffer to be beautiful)

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I used to think the idea if "trashing the dress" was cute. There is something so fun and forbidden about trashing something expensive, but since the wedding dress is likely to become useless to you in the future, why not get rid of it in a dramatic fashion?

The reason I hate it now is that is has become just another one of those over-the-top wedding expenses. This isn't just a bride putting her dress on a bonfire and having a friend take a few minutes of video or jumping into a mud puddle while her husband takes a photo.

No, now they have these crazy professional photo and video shoots where a bride will hire a professional photographer/videographer and even a stylist and makeup artist to take dramatic photos and videos of her taking a swim in her wedding dress. The shots are often quite lovely and dramatic, but don't you already have enough lovely and dramatic professional shots of your day? Do you really need more? You post it all on YouTube so the wetlook pervs can get off on it? Is that what you're aiming for? Really. What's the point?

ETA: I could never wear my mother's dress. It's from the early 60s and not bad, but I don't love it. I'm also a good 30 pounds heavier than she is, so I couldn't have worn it if I wanted to. I was more than happy to wear a dress that I loved that fit me and was my style.

I packed it away and don't know what I'll do with it. I'd consider donation, but I'm a really strange size. I'm a 4'11" troll. If I can find another troll who needs a gown and can't afford one and wants mine, I'd gladly give it to her.

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How did letting babies play in their first birthday cake even get into her train of thought? My youngest is turning one in less than a month and of course I will let him try some cake. Does the TH even have children? One year old babies do not daintily eat cake with a fork off bone china while wearing a smocked sunsuit. They don't even have the fine motor skills for that crap. They sit in their high chairs (which are completely washable) and make a bloody mess of everything in reach. My baby can turn a teething biscuit into a weapon of mass mess-making.

Someone here mentioned that they don't get their kids dressed until after breakfast. I am firmly in that camp. I don't even get dressed until they are done with breakfast!

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OK, to be fair to the Fishwife, that one picture of the woman in the wedding dress in the pool did kind of look like a whale. And it wasn't because she was fat, it was because the dress kind of billowed up.

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How did letting babies play in their first birthday cake even get into her train of thought? My youngest is turning one in less than a month and of course I will let him try some cake. Does the TH even have children? One year old babies do not daintily eat cake with a fork off bone china while wearing a smocked sunsuit. They don't even have the fine motor skills for that crap. They sit in their high chairs (which are completely washable) and make a bloody mess of everything in reach. My baby can turn a teething biscuit into a weapon of mass mess-making.

Someone here mentioned that they don't get their kids dressed until after breakfast. I am firmly in that camp. I don't even get dressed until they are done with breakfast!

I don't think she has kids.

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