The Stinking Housewife vs. Wedding Dresses

[ThisOlGirl]

Every once in awhile, for reasons still unclear to me, I mosey over to the Stinking Housewife's cesspool of a blog just to see what kind of vile things she's been spewing lately. It seems the old hag has been on quite a tear lately concerning weddings and wedding dresses in particular. According to the Stinker, weddings are supposed to be somber, serious events and one should spend as little money as possible. I honestly don't know where to begin so I'll just highlight a few of my favorites:

--She hates the supposed new craze of "trash the dress" photo shoots (I had not heard of this), and comes to the conclusion that it's nothing more than "vandalism". You know, because getting married is ALL about the dress.

--She posts a photo of one of the "trash the dress" shoots and one of her groupies remarks that the bride looks like a harpooned whale. Classy bunch, these people.

--More than one photographer tries to explain the whole "trash the dress" shoot to the Stinker. They are patient and polite in their explanations. She turns around and calls one of them a "vulgar Philistine" ( I actually laughed out loud at that--who the hell talks like that?).

--She would like to know why more women don't just wear their mom's wedding dress. Um, my mom got married in 1974. Her dress was this Juliet-inspired monstrosity with itchy polyester for days. Very stylish in 1974, but no thank you.

The whole thing came off totally pearl-clutchy and Dana-Carvey-As-The-Church-Lady-ish. For once I found her amusing rather than revolting. She's still revolting, though.

If you care, here are the 4 links (I told you she was on a tear):

thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2011/09/modern-bride/

thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2011/09/when-weddings-are-theater/

thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2011/09/more-on-trashing-wedding-gowns/

thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2011/09/the-postmodern-wedding-artiste/

[NurseNell]

--She hates the supposed new craze of "trash the dress" photo shoots (I had not heard of this),

I haven't either. I just got my wedding dress out of storage the other day. I'm glad I didn't trash it 41 years ago.

Nell

[bananacat]

I can't wear my mom's wedding dress because I'm a completely different size and shape than she was. No amount of tailoring could make both of us fit into the same dress. It would be easier and cheaper to just make a new one. I'm sure I'm not the only person with this same issue.

[Rachel333]

Oh wow, there are some gems here.

"The reason for the trashing of the wedding dress is because of the novelty of it. So many women are not virgins when they marry, that these fads provide something they can do for the first time to provide the thrill they need."

I actually laughed out loud when I saw this, and I don't do that often. So basically a good Christian bride should only be thinking about sex when she gets married? Got it. Actually, I've heard similar sentiments from my dad, who complained that now that most couples have already been living together, they actually want to do things on their honeymoons (instead of spending their entire vacation in bed, I guess).

"The new “tradition†of trashing a wedding dress or smashing a birthday cake is simply arrogant modernity sneering at tradition. I suppose it began years ago when the hippies began writing their own vows and wearing dirty clothes to church.'

Ah, that's hilarious. I needed that tonight. Damn hippies.

I liked that part best, but the rest of the paragraph is good, too:

"A close relative of mine got married by a judge (a quick elopement) but changed her mind later and decided that she “deserved†a ceremony. The woman priest who married her was also the head of the local abortion clinic and the bride grabbed her before the ceremony to insist that “obey†be taken out of the vows. Of course, the ceremony was followed by an expensive reception and honeymoon cruise. Attending that wedding was like witnessing evil dressed up in pretty clothes."

Someone should get married in an abortion clinic wearing a dirty wedding dress, not promise to obey, use a lesbian minister, and follow it up with an expensive open-bar reception with a hippie band. It would blow her mind.

"Another reason many women do not wear their mother’s wedding gown is because they are too fat to fit the vintage dress"

Why do they hate fat people so much?

[Kitty]

I've heard of "trashing the dress," but it seems to be limited to family traditions, not a "new craze." WTF.

Also, I don't think my mother had a "real" wedding dress, given she eloped to Florida. If she did, it's hidden away somewhere and is probably some godawful atrocity from 1990. I'm not wearing that when I get married... 5-15 years from now. Come the fuck on. Also, my mother was never exactly small- I'm tiny and most likely will still be that way. Jesus.

All the fat-shaming makes me a sad Kitty. The "harpooned whale" comment is just... yuck. What the hell is wrong with these people?

What else makes me a sad Kitty is that the Stinking Lousewife expects Christian brides to only be thinking of sex on the honeymoon. Call me a naive, inexperienced 19 year old but I'm pretty sure that's not a good way for a marriage to start.

[Guest Anonymous]

I wouldn't want to wear my my mom's dress either..hello! it was 1972. Besides my mom didn't even wear a traditional wedding dress, she kinda eloped with my dad to Reno before he went into the marines (my older sister was already on the way). :shock:

[Stickers]

Gosh, I would hate to be cranky as the people on that site.

Another fad is the “cake smash,†where a child is photographed destroying his first birthday cake.

I suppose this goes with the new fashion of shoving wedding cake into the new spouse’s mouth and all over the face. I find nothing redeeming in any of this. They are all celebrating destruction and rudeness.

So, cranky! Babies and newly weds playing with cake is clearly the cause of all our problems today :snooty:

And my mother has never gotten married, so I can't wear her dress if and when I do get married :P

[ThisOlGirl]

I can only imagine what the Stinking Housewife's wedding was like. It probably made the Smuggar wedding look like a Roman orgy.

[jenny_islander]

I had a truly old-fashioned wedding as far as the dress went. I bought a dress in my most becoming color (bright red) and wore it on special occasions until it wore out. Why should I have to buy a dress in an unflattering color and a style I can't wear more than once and let it take up space in my house for the rest of my life?

Oh, and I got married while I was FAT FAT FAAAAAAAT. In red silk.

[darkplumaged]

"Another reason many women do not wear their mother’s wedding gown is because they are too fat to fit the vintage dress"

Well, she's got me there. I wasn't 110 lb. like my mom was when she got married. Nor am I quite in harpooned whale territory.

The Stinking Trollwife is so full of love, ain't she?

[liltwinstar]

I don't quite "get" the trash the dress thing, either, but I'm really shy in front of a camera, so it's not something I'd enjoy. That said, I *do* understand wanting to get as much wear out of one's wedding dress as possible...even the low-end ones (like from David's Bridal) are ridiculously expensive. So getting another wear out of it makes sense to me. My own wedding dress is just hanging in my closet, which is kind of sad. However, there's no reason to call women "harpooned whales" or "Philistines" just because they got dressed up and took some pictures!

I would have loved to wear my mom's dress for sentimental reasons, but she married when she was 20 and tiny. I married when I was 30 and...not tiny. Also, the dress, while lovingly made by my Grandma, was very stylish in 1978 and very dated-looking now. If the stars had aligned properly, it may have been cool to have Grandma re-make it into something I would have liked to wear, but given the size discrepancy and the fact that Grandma has really advanced Alzheimer's, that would never happen (oh, and my mom would have had to agree to that, and I'm not sure she would have).

edited to fix riffles

[ADoyle90815]

I don't get that fad of trashing the wedding dress, and as far as my mom's first wedding dress when she married my dad, I couldn't have worn it because she made it herself in 1972 and pretty fashionable for a 70's wedding. The other issue is that she's petite and was tiny, but I grew taller than her, and even at 25, I wasn't as tiny as she was. Even then, her dress would have been too short for me anyway. When she got married again last summer, it was an Elvis wedding in Las Vegas, so she wore something off the rack and could theoretically wear that dress again.

At my niece's first birthday, she did have a smash cake, but in the end, she hated having her hands dirty, so she wasn't interested in digging into the cake.

[Guest Anonymous]

She'd hate how I let my son eat his yogurt for breakfast every morning. I give him his bath after breakfast. You guys do the math.

I wish I had known about "trash the dress" shoots. I would have 110% "trashed" my modern dress. (i had 2, one was a repro civil war one made by my brother, that I wore to the reception because of family DRAMAZ) I hated my modern dress. David's bridal piece of.... s**T :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

I think she should rename her blog "the haunting fear that someone somewhere is having FUN"

[Maggie Mae]

I didn't know the cake thing was new. It seems like everyone I know has those pictures, and I'm nearly 30. Oh, and not of their kids, either. Personally, I think it's gross. But I'm weird about kids and food. I admit it, and avoid looking at things that make me gag, like chewed food, food mixed with other food, blood, rotting food, vomit, and numerous other things. So I avoid and realize that no one is going to ever agree with me. Laura sounds ... Ridiculous.

[NurseNell]

Meredith got her dress at a thrift store for $30 or thereabouts several years before she actually married Steve. It actually was beautiful.

Nell

[NurseNell]

Gosh, I would hate to be cranky as the people on that site.

Shoving wedding cake into the new spouse's face isn't new. It was happening in 1970 when I married. I told my DH if he did it he'd be dead so he didn't do it. I've seen it at other weddings and I really don't like it.

Nell

[Guest Anonymous]

BWAHAHAHAHA! Rachel333 picked out the funniest lines. Yeah, that's it, brides are thrill seeking now to make it up for no longer having the thrill of losing their virginity on their wedding night. Seriously, how does she come up with this shit?

I suppose I could have worn my mother's wedding dress. Of course, she got married in 1970 and her dress was so short, one wonders how she sat down while wearing it. I once asked her. Her answer: "Very carefully." Somehow, I don't think that's what Housewife had in mind.

[Guest Anonymous]

I wish I could have worn my mom's dress, from 1960, but I'm not 105lbs. Mashing cake into each other hasn't been "new" for about 40 years (for brides or toddlers). Someone should send this woman the link to the photo of Princess Di with her bridesmaids sitting on her dress at the end of the day (1981 I think?)

She's an idiot.

[Stickers]

Shoving wedding cake into the new spouse's face isn't new. It was happening in 1970 when I married. I told my DH if he did it he'd be dead so he didn't do it. I've seen it at other weddings and I really don't like it.

Nell

I don't like the idea too much myself, I prone to skin issues so smashing cake in my face would be a big no-no. But, I've seen people have fun with it.

[YPestis]

I tried on my fiance's mother's dress and it wouldn't fit me. She was shorter and thinner than me when she married so no amount of tailoring would let me fit into that dress. It was a shame as the dress was quite beautiful. My own mother married in China under Mao so no wedding dress (or wedding!) for her.

Sometimes, I think people are too quick to judge in regards to other people's choices. It's a wedding, which means it's a party! As long as people are having fun, who cares if they mash the cake or whatever? I plan on having a great party where all my friends and family can celebrate my new beginning.

[titus2_4u]

I'm not a fan of "Trash the Dress" either, because it seems so wasteful. There area a number of nonprofits who take once-worn wedding dresses and donate them to low-income women. There are a variety of other great alternatives to taking a dip in a lake in the dress. Also, it seems vain. Wedding photos are expensive enough. People actually pay for a professional photographer to take more shots, that frankly, mostly only the couple will care about?

I'm not a complete killjoy though. What on earth is wrong with letting a kid get messy and play with birthday cake?!?!

[Guest Anonymous]

At my daughters first birthday we had a little extra cake for her to just dig in with and she did! I don't think I have ever been to a baby's birthday party and NOT seen them get a messy with their own cake. I think it's kinda cute.

[Black Aliss]

Sigh. The stinking alewife really needs a job. She has way too much time on her hands and nothing constructive with which to occupy her mind. It's not healthy to get worked up all the time over things which don't concern her. She doesn't want to destroy her own wedding dress? Fine! Don't!

[GeoBQn]

I think "trash the dress" photos are about as trendy as divorce cakes--as in, a handful of people have done it and the press jumped on it, making it seem more popular than it is.

Couldn't wear my mom's dress because she borrowed it from her best friend. Plus my mom was taller and heavier than me. I got my dress custom made by a friend, done in a folklore style with symbols embroidered into it.

So many women are not virgins when they marry, that these fads provide something they can do for the first time to provide the thrill they need."

This reminds me of a conservative Christian columnist I read who railed against the "trend" of the bride and groom staying through the end of the reception instead of leaving early in a "getaway car" like the old days. She thinks that by staying through the party, the couple is flaunting that they have already had sex because they aren't rushing off to do it before the party is over. First of all, at my wedding at least half the guests were from out of town, and to me it would feel incredibly rude to leave early when they had spent so much time and money to fly in and celebrate. Second of all, I think a lot of bridal couples--even the virgins--don't have sex on the wedding night anyway because they are tired from the stress of the day. I also wanted to e-mail her to tell her that in Judaism, it's a mitzvah to dance with the bride and groom. If we had left our wedding early, we would have been depriving our guests of the opportunity to perform the mitzvah!

[Lillybee]

My mom got married in a beautiful blue velvet knee length dress that I would have loved to have used but since she was 5 ft 0in and very curvy and I 5ft 7 in and super thin there is no way that that dress could come close to fitting.