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Captain Bret Alan Smith Pt. 3: Fundie Cat Fights, Ahoy


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On 2/14/2017 at 7:54 PM, JMO said:

I just can't wrap my head around them cursing much less publicly. And I just saw my original typo. It was sexyaf.

I think you can put "sexyaf" under the whole "smokin' hot wife" trope, from Talladega Nights.  

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Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin’ wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.

 

Here's a thoughtful take on the whole Smokin' Hot Wife deal by Bronwyn Lea

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OK, Let's Stop With All the Talk About 'Smokin' Hot' Wives:  Why the well-intended phrase is actually problematic.

....That’s not to say we shouldn’t appreciate beauty, but the wording and emphasis matter. Praising one’s spouse as beautiful could refer to both inner and outer beauty, but “smokin' hot” carries a very specific, sexual undertone. A Christian referring to his wife as “smokin' hot”—with all the female-sexuality-is-the-prize baggage the term carries—runs the risk of triggering a host of problems for his hearers in a culture where women are seen more as prizes than people. At worst, what was intended as a praise of his wife may well be a punch to hearers struggling with abuse, body-shame, loneliness, or their own sexuality. At best, the smokin' hot trope might come across as off-putting and inappropriate, a gross verbal PDA of sorts....full text here.

Yeah, it's cute, but it could also be a little ego driven, as in "Hey, How much of a major stud am I?"  The takeaway being, The wife and I have frequent and vigorous intercourse, as Sheldon Cooper would say.  I guess it would depend on the guy. 

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Thank you, Howl. We (my ex-husband and kids) attended a church for several years where the pastor was a YUUUGE Mark Driscoll fanboy. He was constantly harping on his SMW. He did en endless sermon series on sex, and constantly peppered the rest of the sermons with asides about the awesome sex you got to have when you were married.

It was vile. And for those of us in emotionally abusive marriages, who had sexual abuse history, or just wanted to hear about something besides sex, it was excruciating.

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  • 1 month later...

Apparently Bret Smith and his family are involved in some kind of prison ministry and I saw this interesting exchange between one of the younger Morton boys and the Smith Sr. I believe Alan is held in the Colquit county jail. Am I reading this wrong or is John taking a dig at Bret? 

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Oh, that is definitely a burn on the Captain. I searched for a Smith in either Colquitt county jail or the prison located there. Turned up nothing, but the error page said that records for first offenses are not made public under Georgia law. I wonder if that's the case here?

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2 hours ago, Mrs. Bean said:

Apparently Bret Smith and his family are involved in some kind of prison ministry and I saw this interesting exchange between one of the younger Morton boys and the Smith Sr. I believe Alan is held in the Colquit county jail. Am I reading this wrong or is John taking a dig at Bret? 

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Wow. Pretty ballsy kid. 

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To hell with my diet, where's the popcorn??

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I needed that to start this rainy day.  Go John!   I'm impressed that they've all maintained any semblance of social media connections.  

Update: the Cap'n just posted a psalm written by Alan!!  I can't access FB on my work computer so I'll try and see what I can do from my phone.

 

I think I added them in reversed order. Please to enjoy. 

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This path by which my Lord doth lead/Is more than I can bear....

That God is moving us around/Is to me very clear....

In Love, my motivation lives/To strive beyond my loved ones' flaming bier....

God forbid that we before/The vilest foe should cower.

1. He sounds defiant rather than remorseful/penitent, and he's definitely not taking responsibility for anything. He's implying that his problems aren't a direct result of his actions, but that God is orchestrating everything/"moving us around" as a test.

2. "To strive beyond my loved ones' flaming bier"? Is he throwing shade here? This almost sounds like he's accusing his wife and her family of killing and setting fire to their previous life.

3. This whole thing reeks of "Persecution!!!!"

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