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Priss & Pecan, Pt. 3: Glory Days Dwindling Away


FundieFarmer

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Oh my god that poor baby! There is no need to put him in that truck or facedown on that fur rug. I mean I get that a lot of people do newborn shots but I agree with the previous posters who have said that newborns need to uncurl a little bit. They're too wrinkly for me and I like the fat, happy baby pictures where they're smiling. If they have like 2 teeth, it's the best. We get it David, you now have two sons and one is a manly man but leave him with his Mom for now. 

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4 hours ago, withaj said:

I don't think I've ever seen a baby that young in a full outfit like that. I can't imagine how uncomfortable he is. Can't you just hear him thinking "Can I go back to the warm quiet place where nobody bothered me?"

Less bothered, maybe.  I suspect, from the moment the pee stick said pregnant, that bible verses and songs were being regularly piped through Pris's belly.

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Why!!!?? Why?  WHY???????!!!!!!!  I'm mortified by these photos.  Am I over-reacting?  Poor baby.  He just wants to be cozy and secure, but his asshole parents have him flailing vicariously in a tiny, cold, hard toy dump truck!?!  The hell?  

These people treat their BLESSINGS from GAWD the way small children sometimes harshly treat their toys.  The baby is just a prop.  Just a sign of how special their god thinks they are.  David is an ass.

I hope Davia rubs off on little Phillip, and they form a united front against their parents and get out of this awful cult someday.

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5 hours ago, withaj said:

Good golly those photos are awful. What did they think they were doing??

I don't think I've ever seen a baby that young in a full outfit like that. I can't imagine how uncomfortable he is. Can't you just hear him thinking "Can I go back to the warm quiet place where nobody bothered me?"

If I'd put grandwych in a shirt, pants, and vest when he was a few days old, Grampwych would ask if I'd lost my mind.  Wychling's dh would be aghast, and Wychling would attempt to rip out my throat despite having had a C-section.

And I agree, the shot of the poor babe nearly face-down makes me want to scoop him up for air.

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Honestly, I don't get the newborn photos at all. Lori's dil, Emily, had some done. The perfect hair, the spotlessly white shirts, the tiny, silent, be-flowered baby--none of it seems like real life with a newborn. To me, it seems so poised, so show-offy, so artificial. And will anyone want to look at them except mom, dad and grandparents?

These pics, however, are horrifying. Here's what I think happened. Pris saw lots of professional newborn pics and wanted some.  They couldn't afford them. So, with two screaming toddlers and a newborn, she tried to set up her her own, imitation photo shoot. Lacking skills and sophistication, this is what they came up with. The comfort of the baby was the last thing on their minds.

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On 10/23/2016 at 8:52 AM, Granwych said:

If I'd put grandwych in a shirt, pants, and vest when he was a few days old, Grampwych would ask if I'd lost my mind.  Wychling's dh would be aghast, and Wychling would attempt to rip out my throat despite having had a C-section.

And I agree, the shot of the poor babe nearly face-down makes me want to scoop him up for air.

Exactly right! Babies that young are normally in super soft onesies. So nothing irritates them. I would say that they cry enough as it is why irritate them? But TFDW isn't going to be taking care of Phillip when he cries so it doesn't matter to him.

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I suspect that little Phillip may already be earning his keep as a marketing tool.  D&P probably met quite a few potential ATI families during their tour of the continent, and Priscilla's pregnancy would have been an attention grabber.  Phillip's birth, and early newborn pictures, would then be a "natural" way to renew contact with these folks and continue to pitch ATI.

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7 hours ago, PartriarchydefyinValkarie said:

The one of Paul on the fur facedown is me in life. Somedays it feels good to try and become one with the blanket. Especially after its fresh outta the dryer.

Call me overindulgent, but I used to put Wychling's towel in the dryer when she was bathing.  Nice warm towels feel so good--I'll be putting Grandwych's towels in the dryer, especially in the winter.

 

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That poor child should be wearing a comfy, cozy onsie and be lying asleep in a cozy safe Moses basket/ bassinet. Sorry but those photos are Just cruel to me. Fundies just churn the sproglings out without realising that they are actually mini humans with feelings.

Pecan and Priss get no passes from me on this one. 

How on earth did the friend who took the photos think that lying that poor lad on a folded towel wearing a duster look cute? 

No, no just no.

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2 hours ago, Dandruff said:

I suspect that little Phillip may already be earning his keep as a marketing tool.  D&P probably met quite a few potential ATI families during their tour of the continent, and Priscilla's pregnancy would have been an attention grabber.  Phillip's birth, and early newborn pictures, would then be a "natural" way to renew contact with these folks and continue to pitch ATI.

I think you're spot on with this one. Sadly for little Phillip, this was, to put it in the parlance of a few years ago, an "epic fail." Nothing says "join my cult!" like a child that looks like he's on the verge of needing medical attention. :? I will never understand why they put some of them up at all, there's something to be said for waiting until another day when the poor kiddo is a bit more comfortable and happier. 

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I wonder where they got such a preppie outfit for a newborn. It is big on him but still, weird outfit for a brand new baby. My kid was in sleepers and onsies until about 6 months old and even then, not that kind of outfit. Like someone said, he looks like an old man. Poor, sweet baby!

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its like some unfortunate combination of 'awkward family photos', 'pinterest fails' and 'shit i fucked up'...its actually unintentionally hilarious! poor wee bebe though...

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1 hour ago, hasunah said:

HEL(L)P!! He's already wearing khakis and looking like a tiny grandfather 

You have to remember, baby Phillip has a job to do. He is to be a manly man, at least as manly as his father, and he is to evangelize. No one will take him seriously in 30 years if a picture of him materializes, wearing the normal, cute clothes that a normal newborn wears. Remember, he's the son of the man who ran a marathon in Khakis and a collared shirt.

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The look on Davia's face is priceless in their family photo with new baby.  Paul & Davia are cute kids and Phillip will be once he gets out of the newborn stage. 

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I hate to give them clicks but I needed to see the rest of those pictures for myself for some unknown reason. 

 

They're HORRIFYING. Infants needs are pretty simple; food, diaper, and a feeling of warmth/safety. Day two of this kid's life and they already fucked it up. You can see the torture on his face. 

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Some crazy person or people came up with the idea of making regular shirts and the pants in size 3 months and up.  At nine plus pounds there is a good chance Priscilla has some of those outfits.

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These are things I can surmise about Phillip Andrew from the photoshoot:

He came out of the womb with a 30 year mortgage, much to the disappointment of his parents.  

He's not happy about Trump as a candidate, but he likes that Trump "tells it like it is".  

He spends his Friday evenings drinking too much milk and passing out on the rug.  

He's a lumberjack, but he owns a dump truck anyway because he is JUST. THAT. MANLY.  

He doesn't do no sissy, pinterest chalk board names.  No sir.  Phillip Andrew is a WHITEBOARD MAN, because that's where MEN write.  

He moonlights as an undecided voter and attends presidential debates under the alias "Ken Bone".  

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They posted a collage of the newborn pictures to their Instagram, and the responses have been overwhelmingly negative, same as here. I'm so glad to see that since they usually get mostly leghumpy responses. Looks like even their fundie friends think they're nuts for once!

 

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5 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Davia is already over the new baby.

Davia is over it already.jpg

 

They are not matching! What is wrong with them? Davia is like "I was born into the wrong family..." Paul is being kept there by TFDW and Phillip is already screaming because this is his life. 

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6 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

He moonlights as an undecided voter and attends presidential debates under the alias "Ken Bone".  

That's perfect because did you know Ken Bone is 34 years old?! He's probably been wearing sweater vests since birth too.

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