Foot Washing? Cheryl (formerly Treasures from a Shoebox)

[louisa05]

37 minutes ago, dawbs said:

It does say something about my family's desire for extreme independence and our weird health issues that the device known as a 'sock putter on-er' (it has a real name, I'm sure) lived in our basement and came out when we needed it existed growing up.

But dammit, bad backs and weird health issues be damned, I'm getting dressed int he AM with or without help.
(I think I first used this sort of thing when I was about 14.  but you had to get someone who wasn't currently in pain to get it out of the basement shop for you--it was illogically inaccessible.  Behind a few pairs of crutches and whatnot.  Our basement was interesting.)

Dad lost his fine motor skills because of neuropathy. He could not use that or any other device we were offered. His hands didn't work well enough. And it was complicated by having the same issue with his feet. Basically, both his hands and feet were numb all the time and he could not control them. Someone had to do it for him. 

[Grimalkin]

14 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Dad lost his fine motor skills because of neuropathy. He could not use that or any other device we were offered. His hands didn't work well enough. And it was complicated by having the same issue with his feet. Basically, both his hands and feet were numb all the time and he could not control them. Someone had to do it for him. 

        I am not sure if I am reading too much into your comment or whatnot, I don't think anybody was judging or grossed out about you helping your dad with shoes and socks. We do what we have to with loved ones. That sock device looks like it would be a hassle to use anyway. 

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, Grimalkin said:

        I am not sure if I am reading too much into your comment or whatnot, I don't think anybody was judging or grossed out about you helping your dad with shoes and socks. We do what we have to with loved ones. That sock device looks like it would be a hassle to use anyway. 

I didn't think so. I just assumed the dawbs was kind of roundabout suggesting that we should have used something like that. We had OT/PT help at the hospital and they tried several things to help him with some of those kinds of tasks. But anything they tried to help him with shoes and socks required him to have much more dexterity in his hands than he had. 

His oncologist and the oncologist we saw for consults a few times both said it was the worst case of chemo related peripheral neuropathy they had ever seen. 

[iweartanktops]

Sorry, I'm being annoying and posting after reading the first post of the thread. I can't help myself. At first I was thinking, oh, I've been to weddings with feet washing. It's not really up my alley, but whatever. But she's washing her FATHER'S feet? What in the fuck? I almost choked on my dinner. What. The. Fuck. 

13 hours ago, Loveday said:

I understand the point of foot-washing in a  church setting--the Pope does it on Holy Thursday every Easter, and many denominations do it at various times as part of their rituals. And I understand it as it was practiced in Biblical times--it was a mark of hospitality to wash your guests' feet after they'd been walking in sandals out on dusty, filthy roads all day. But otherwise...no. Just no. And a daughter washing her father's feet is all kinds of inappropriate. 

Don't forget, she's washing his feet because she likes to meet needs. JFC.  I feel sick. 

[lawfulevil]

12 hours ago, AuLait said:

One time at our home school co-op a lady taught a very demanding class and her helpers (I was one) did a lot. She showed her thanks by washing our feet. Individually, in a quiet dim room. It was awkward as hell. It was a sweet thought but never ever again. I felt it was a little mean to surprise us, too. It made it hard to say no.

*runs screaming out of the room, out of the building, down the road, to the airport, to NASA, into a rocket, launched into the Sun*

But seriously, did you have a religious prohibition on baked goods or something? Because "washing feet" is so far down my list of "ways to say thank-you". Had the woman never heard of cookies? Flowers? A nice card? Fruit basket? Interpretive dance? Strippergram? Because personally I'd still be way less weirded out by the strippergram.

[iweartanktops]

Is this real? It's a quote from a post titled, Why I Choose to be a Stay At Home Daughter 

Quote

We are in this together, and I get the privilege of practicing how to relate to my husband and submit to his authority through Daddy

 

[lawfulevil]

It's real.

The mother's diet book is on Kindle Unlimited. I don't think I have the fortitude, though.

Oh, hell, I'm diving in anyway.

[JMarie]

Oh wow, that personals ad for (redacted name) sounds like the ones for Lydia of Purple's daughters.

[lawfulevil]

I read the crap for y'all.

Chapter 1: She was a chubby little kid, and then through her teens was effortlessly thin. She gained a healthy amount of weight each pregnancy and lost it again quickly, through the first 4 kids, claiming she "thought about losing 10 pounds" at one point. During pregnancy #5 she found out her husband was cheating on her, and she references a blog post within the book: http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-i-lost-my-whole-world-and-gained_17.html

During this pregnancy she gained more weight and it wouldn't budge because she'd quit smoking (what, only five pregnancies in???). She continues to put on weight for another zillion babies. She's diagnosed with a bunch of food intolerances.

She lost the weight by juice fasting, apparently.

Chapter 2: She seeks the Lord for self control. The Lord is in charge of chocolate cravings, who knew? Three of her daughters are her dieting buddies. Stephanie (23), Emily (20), and Haley (16). Crash dieting is fun for the whole family. They begin the fast on May 14 2012. She's planning to go 60 straight days without solid food, the younger woman two weeks (Stephanie) to 30 days (Haley). People expressed concern over her letting a teenager starve herself for weeks on end, she poo-poos it because the kid ONLY had panic attacks the first FOUR days. So it's fine, I'm sure.

Chapter 3: Her juice fast journal.

Day 1: Emily has now committed to the full 60 days. Haley is in "as long as she can". Stephanie is up for 10 days at a time. Plugs for her diet guru (Steve Fuentes) and her juicer. Day 2: She felt vile and took her before pictures. Day 4: Wal-mart to buy food for the men. Subway bread apparently smells "luscious" (yuck). Day 5: Movie night, time for some programming, "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead". Content warning- there's BIKINIS and EVOLUTION y'all. Week 1 results: -6 pounds.

Day 8: The family went to a cookout graduation party for a church friend. The women virtuously only smelled all the food. Day 9: Another convert to the juice life, and a NEW JUICER! (Already?) The girls are starting to peruse cookbooks and plan all the food they'll eat once they're done starving themselves. Day 11: More obsessing about food, food, glorious food. Day 12: They're also into Teresa Tapp. Garden planting day. They go to FOUR DIFFERENT GROCERY STORES. Week 2 results: -5 pounds this week, 11 total. Girl results so far: Haley -12, Stephanie -12, Emily -15.

Day 16: Another cookout. They pre-made and packed all their juice. Some shilling for the Breville. Picture of her HUGGING the juicer. Day 18: They're back at Sam's Club. They're here a lot. Day 19: More gardening. Week 3 results: down 4 more pounds, 15 total, 19 days without solid food.

Interlude: she interviews Steve Fuentes.

Week 4 results: down 3 more pounds for 18 total, 26 days without solid food.

Day 29: Some bragging about compliments. Communion Sunday- she worries about the wheat in the wafer. The wafer makes Stephanie hungry. She makes grilled mozzarella on flatbread and accidentally almost eats some, but WHEW, she spits it out in the sink! Day 31: More pictures. They've swapped shirts around as they change sizes. Haley had to borrow from the youngest sister's wardrobe (Corrie is ~5 years younger than Haley, for reference). Haley and Stephanie are both -20 lbs and completed 30 days. Day 32: Friends come with gifts to do some diet talkin'. Week 5 results: Only -2 lbs this week. Emily is now -27 lbs total.

Day 36: Miraculously she can now read without her glasses. Sure. Her feet are less fat and she can wear women's regular shoes, not men's wide. Day 39: Hubby is now in on the fasting. Day 38 (book is out of order): The girls have gained back a couple pounds each. Day 39 again: Even the dentist is impressed! It's amazing how impressed EVERYONE is. Day 40: She forgot to pack juice and had to drink a VitaCoco. Week 6 results: -2.5 lbs, total of 22. Emily's now at -33. Hubby lost 12 his first 5 days.

Days 43-45: More of the same. Day 46: Oldest daughter is in labor, but don't worry, they find time to prep all the juice and pack it up in a cooler. And double don't worry, she blogged about the baby being the answer to her prayers! Day 47: More fantasies about solid food, planning a trip to... CHIPOTLE. Week 7 results- -5 lbs, 27 lb total. Emily only lost 1, poor Emily. Hubby is at -22.

Day 50: More people asking her for the good word about crash diets. She's trying to read the New Testament the whole way through during this diet. More product shilling. Day 52: Visiting the new baby. But don't worry! She packed her juice. Day 53: More evangelizing to the fat masses at Aldi. Hubby is done fasting. Week 8 results: Hubby fasted for 17 days and lost 31 pounds. She's at 30, and Emily is now at 37.

Day 57: A visit from the in-laws. Possible shade from MIL about her usual state being pregnant/nursing. Another cookout. More virtuous sniffing. Day 58: Is it over yet? She "tastes" too much dinner and gets hungry again. She and Emily vow to recommit. Day 60: No but really y'all her greatest achievement these last 2 months has been reading the whole entire New Testament. Final results: another pound lost, 31 total. Emily lost 40. After: their stomachs object to the change.

Chapter 4: Recipes. She doesn't use spinach or celery because she can't afford organic. So they're juicing conventional produce, mostly from Walmart, Sam's, Aldi. Yummy yummy concentrated pesticides. The first one totals 166 calories, 26.5 grams sugar. Serves 2!

Chapter 5: Tips. Weigh yourself constantly! Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Plan to do very little and sleep a lot. Drink water constantly. Avoid people who tell you this is nuts. Don't stand up too fast. Avoid temptation. Recruit buddies, misery loves company.

Chapter 6: Ending the fast. Your stomach is gonna go apeshit, evidently.

Chapter 7: Benefits. Starving yourself is a cure-all. Milestones: she can push a plate away before it's clean now and she said no to Chipotle.

Chapter 8: Q&A. Which juicer, is there a cheaper juicer, chew on ice when you're bored, smoothies bad juice good, kale has protein, and she waited a WHOLE MONTH after her weight loss to post the e-book. A WHOLE MONTH.

There, you guys, a free hour and a half of your lives. Watch a good movie for me.

[Grimalkin]

@lawfulevil thanks you are the BEST! Who knew starving yourself would result in weight loss! 

[AmazonGrace]

6 hours ago, lawfulevil said:

I

 

Chapter 2: She seeks the Lord for self control. The Lord is in charge of chocolate cravings, who knew? Three of her daughters are her dieting buddies. Stephanie (23), Emily (20), and Haley (16). Crash dieting is fun for the whole family. They begin the fast on May 14 2012. She's planning to go 60 straight days without solid food, the younger woman two weeks (Stephanie) to 30 days (Haley). People expressed concern over her letting a teenager starve herself for weeks on end, she poo-poos it because the kid ONLY had panic attacks the first FOUR days. So it's fine, I'm sure.

It's okay, I'm sure if God had planned for teenagers to eat solid food he'd have given them teeth.

[dawbs]

9 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I didn't think so. I just assumed the dawbs was kind of roundabout suggesting that we should have used something like that. We had OT/PT help at the hospital and they tried several things to help him with some of those kinds of tasks. But anything they tried to help him with shoes and socks required him to have much more dexterity in his hands than he had. 

His oncologist and the oncologist we saw for consults a few times both said it was the worst case of chemo related peripheral neuropathy they had ever seen. 

I"m sorry, I wasn't trying to roundabout suggest anything...just commiserating with some of the same crap.
(and FWIW when my dad fell off a roof a few years ago the sock-putter-onner did NOT help, because of the extra fun and games w/ his injuries.  And my gramps could never get his diabetic socks to work w/ it.  I've put on a lot of socks too  )

---

It's a very hard thing to accept help for something like socks--foot washing isn't really 'done' outside of church contexts (and not real frequently in most church contexts), but it still has associations w/ subservience.  (and I'll be honest and say it was never my favorite thing to do.  I don't really like feet that much.  But there are important people in my life I'd do it for.  And then there are the rest of the people who should probably ask someone else first) 

Doing it because someone needs (or because a foot rub after a really bad day is a want not a need--but still nice) is great, but I can't help but feel a lot of pity for these SAHDs who are expected to prove their subservience by doing it 'just because' instead of for any real reason.

[Koala]

Yes, Terry killed Cheryl's dog.  Of course, Cheryl isn't exactly a saint herself.  This is, after all, the woman who upon marrying and procreating with Prince Terry, decided that her first child (from another man) was an icky reminder of the past.  So much so, that she didn't even want her first daughter to touch her new sister.

Quote

When Stephanie was born, Amanda was not encouraged to hold or touch the new baby for fear that she would hurt our precious little one. All Amanda really knew was that this little intruder was valued more than her and she didn't want anything to do with her anyway. As time passed, the gulf between us continued to widen. 

A child gets their sense of identity from others; mostly from their parents. They believe about themselves what they see in Mommy and Daddy’s eyes. What did Amanda see when she looked in my eyes? Disappointment; resentment; anger.

Cheryl may be sorry now, but I have absolutely NO patience for a grown woman treating her daughter that way.

Eventually she sent her away to live with her dad, and now she is supposedly Cheryl's best friend.  To me, she still seems to be on the fringe of the family (outside looking in).  

Very sad.

[Grimalkin]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Yes, Terry killed Cheryl's dog.  Of course, Cheryl isn't exactly a saint herself.  This is, after all, the woman who upon marrying and procreating with Prince Terry, decided that her first child (from another man) was an icky reminder of the past.  So much so, that she didn't even want her first daughter to touch her new sister.

Cheryl may be sorry now, but I have absolutely NO patience for a grown woman treating her daughter that way.

Eventually she sent her away to live with her dad, and now she is supposedly Cheryl's best friend.  To me, she still seems to be on the fringe of the family (outside looking in).  

Very sad.

        Well fuck you Cheryl, even though your daughter was probably better off with her dad and away from Terry who no doubt influenced this wretched woman. 

[Koala]

I think it's pretty obvious that Cheryl bought into the whole "holier than Jesus" bit, and her daughter suffered for her foolishness.   Amanda caught Terry cheating (something he did more that once), yet somehow she got kicked out and Terry ended up staying and having his other daughters wash his filthy feet.

Quote

Terry began to talk about 1997, about how his sins had found him out. About how he had prayed to get caught. The more he spoke, the softer his voice grew. Amanda had seen some things when he had taken her to work with him during a school assignment in 1996 and when she had confided in me, I had confronted him. He had accused her of lying and denied the charges. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard him acknowledge this to her. He was crying by this time. I had sat there, silently staring at the table throughout this conversation. When I looked at Amanda, she was sobbing.

I think it eventually came out that Cheryl was cheating too. Through it all, both Terry and Cheryl painted Amanda as the "rebel".  These people are unfuckingbelievable. 

Link (take a look at the beyond creepy picture):

http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.com/2011/02/touching-heart-of-rebel.html

For those just joining us, this is the wedding covenant ceremony we've referred to:

http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.com/2012/07/haleys-covenant-ceremony.html

[seattlechic]

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Thank you FJ for giving me days of happiness. I was all sad due to the Naugler's drama impasse, and now you all gift me with this. I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Grimalkin]

     This piece of shit accused his 12 year old step daughter of lying, drove a wedge between her and her mother making her leave her home and it took four fucking years for him to apologize. Putting myself in her shoes and imagining what she went through actually hurt my heart.  No doubt that is just the tip of the iceberg of her living hell, and of what day to day life must of been like. Cheryl is delusional. These people make me sick. They are some of the worst people I ever heard of and I'm not limiting this to messed up people we read about here on FJ. 

[Koala]

They are Pearl followers too.

http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.com/2010/07/haleys-prayer.html

Quote

Applying the "rod" was still new to me. My children had been completely out of control until our Pastor shared a wonderful book with us: To Train Up a Childby Michael and Debi Pearl. I read that book in a day and when Stephanie arrived home from school one Wednesday afternoon I was sitting on the sofa with the book in one hand and a brand new spanker stick (a piece of plumber's tubing) in the other. 

 

[lawfulevil]

So he no doubt accused the poor kid of lying and then beat the shit out of her to boot. "Loving a rebel" my ass, that kid is a doormat, I'd have stayed mad until the heat death of the Universe.

[PopRox]

Okay, that's not a diet book, that's basically a how-to guide for developing anorexia (especially in teen girls/young adult women!). Why did she have to drag her poor girls into it?

I'm not super-familiar with this family, so reading here about the way they treated Amanda is making me ill. I'm about to go read the linked blog posts, but I'm afraid I'll come away with rage issues.

[childerowland]

And...Haley Long is engaged to the amusingly-named Reagan Ramm, who has also featured on FJ over the years! 

http://www.thelongwaytogo.com/haley-reagan-unconventional-love-story/

[Howl]

21 minutes ago, childerowland said:

amusingly-named Reagan Ramm

That is so a porn star name....but he looks like a sweet guy.  I fast forwarded through part of the "courtship" video, and stopped at a point where she was talking about the obstacles,  one of which was possible doctrinal issues.  Oy vey.