Kate Is Still a Horrible Mother

[Curious]

From interviews with a nanny: radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/07/kate-gosselin-nanny-tell-all-rule-book/

I'm reading this now, but I have to say that I love all the pictures that these articles are using lately of Kate. Instead of the ones from the red carpet they normally use they are finding the worst ones they can lately.

Since I'm already going to hell, I don't mind saying that I find this bit of karma highly amusing.

[Curious]

Collin's lovey episode was just heartbreaking. I wasn't even a mom when I saw it, but I looooooved (uh, love present tense too) my childhood blanket and if my mom threatened to do anything to it, I would have had some kind of breakdown of anxiety. And now that I have children and see how they love their teddy bear and monkey, I can't say one mean thing about those animals because my boys love them SO MUCH. I would never, ever threaten to take them. Poor little guy was probably so scared.

I think I have told this story before, but when I was a kid my mom was worried that I was going to take my blanket (Fluffy!) to kindergarten with me, so she decided I had to be "weaned" off Fluffy before I went (I started K at 4, but turned 5 soon after it started).

So over the summer, she cut Fluffy into squares and doled out one square at a time and when a square had to be washed instead of washing it, she threw it away and gave me a new square and eventually there was no more Fluffy.

My husband gets me a blanket for Christmas every year. I love blankets. I wonder why.... (I'm not bitter) ;)

Anyway, when my kids were in those situations, I figured peer pressure would do the trick. Go to school with a "Fluffy" or sucking your thumb or whatever and it would probably not last long because the other kids weren't doing that. No reason for Mom to be the one to traumatize them.

[Coconut Flan]

After having to wean the first child from the blanket, I learned. Subsequent children had to keep the lovey in their rooms. I didn't do any cutting. I set a timer and each week the blanket was allowed out of the room a shorter amount of time.

[twinmama]

I'm the nutter who took her blanket to college with her. My roommate didn't think I was insane because she had brought a ratty old bunny with her. I moved in with my husband when we were dating and eventually told him I still had it. At this point, I figure if high school, college, marriage and children didn't get that thing out of my life, it's with me til I die or it disintegrates :) Proud blankie owner forever! (not so proud I let anyone other than my husband know I still have it!)

I should add that past toddlerhood, my blanket stayed in my bed. I wasn't a carry it to school kid thankfully (that would have been awkward in college).

After having to wean the first child from the blanket, I learned. Subsequent children had to keep the lovey in their rooms. I didn't do any cutting. I set a timer and each week the blanket was allowed out of the room a shorter amount of time.

Yeah, my kids' teddy and monkey stay at home always. Not because I care if they carry them around still (they're only 2.5), but I am petrified that they'll lose them! I have replacements bookmarked on Amazon but they'll know the difference at this point.

[16strong]

Curious, your blanket story makes me sad. :cry: I was also weaned off my blanket around elementary school, although I was allowed to keep it- just not use it. Now it sits in the bottom of a chest. And like you, to this day I love blankets, too. I have a lighter throw-style one for summer and a thick sweater knit faux-sherpa-lined one for winter. I never travel anywhere without one, and I regularly wander around the house wrapped up like a burrito. Even when it's hot. :lol:

[realist51]

I, foolishly, paid for the Kindle edition of the Kate is Evil book. I am no fan of Kate's, and I had to stop watching the show when it was on because of how she treated Jon and the kids, but the author of this book is really scraping the bottom of the barrel to come up with information. Kate parks in a no parking zone? Really? You had to write a book to tell us that? Kate spells out what she expects from TLC and the crew in her contracts? Evil, I tell you, pure evil. The book does depict instances of Kate being impatient and even abusive toward the kids. It ALSO tells how she struggles to not be the kind of person who hurts her kids. Frankly, my heart hurts for the Gosselin kids AND for Kate. She was abused herself, and she probably has no idea how to be any other way. She needs help, not snark. I'm starting to feel the same way about Michelle Duggar. There comes a point when I don't think any of this is entertaining any more, and I just ache for how much pain these women must be in for them to be heaping it on their children the way they are.

[bionicmlle]

I think I have told this story before, but when I was a kid my mom was worried that I was going to take my blanket (Fluffy!) to kindergarten with me, so she decided I had to be "weaned" off Fluffy before I went (I started K at 4, but turned 5 soon after it started).

So over the summer, she cut Fluffy into squares and doled out one square at a time and when a square had to be washed instead of washing it, she threw it away and gave me a new square and eventually there was no more Fluffy.

My husband gets me a blanket for Christmas every year. I love blankets. I wonder why.... (I'm not bitter) ;)

Anyway, when my kids were in those situations, I figured peer pressure would do the trick. Go to school with a "Fluffy" or sucking your thumb or whatever and it would probably not last long because the other kids weren't doing that. No reason for Mom to be the one to traumatize them.

Oh.my.god. That is a horrifying story. However, I am probably your mother's biggest fear. I still sleep with my childhood blanket. It's a twin-size blanket that I received from an aunt around age 5 (so it is nearing 35 years with me). It's made of polyester so it's basically indestructible except for some small burn-holes from fire-embers from camp when I was age 12 or so. My mother used to threaten to cut it up, like your mother did, so I'd scream, cry, hide it and beg my dad to not let her do it. She never did but she did say "what will you do when you are married? sleep with your blanket?" and I said "YES!" And? My husband doesn't seem to mind it and my dogs love my blanket the best and treat it like it is a very prized item to lay against. I don't travel with it anymore, though, for fear of it being lost or left behind and it stays in the safe when we leave home.

We all have our eccentricities.

[twinmama]

Haha, I also heard the "what are you going to do when you get married?" about my blanket. My husband doesn't mind either. He thinks its silly, but it doesn't bother him.

[ark]

I'm about 1/2 way through the book, but really getting aggravated at him for some of his statements (judgments). For example he writes

"while most REAL moms are working one, sometimes two jobs to support their children"

So does this mean that all SAHMs aren't "REAL" moms.

And "She couldn't take five or ten minutes like a normal mother and come outside to greet her children as they arrived home from school" (emphasis mine).

I don't know many mothers that do this, but greet their children when they enter the house.

So according to him, I'm a terrible mom, too, at least in these two areas. It makes it hard for me want to finish reading and makes me question the authenticity of a lot of what he writes.

[anjulibai]

How can a working mom go outside to greet their kids when they come home from school? In my experience, they are usually at work when the kids are done with school.

[DifferentGurl]

I still sleep with my stuffed dog animal that I got when I was 9....and I'm 21! I'd be sad if my mom threatened to get rid of it.

[Running1985]

I had a college professor say one time "if your parents taught you to sit on a toliet seat backward you grow up, become an adult, and learn to turn around" silly example but her point was you can't just excuse away behavior from childhood. If you need help get it... Don't abuse your children.

[HarryPotterFan]

I think I have told this story before, but when I was a kid my mom was worried that I was going to take my blanket (Fluffy!) to kindergarten with me, so she decided I had to be "weaned" off Fluffy before I went (I started K at 4, but turned 5 soon after it started).

So over the summer, she cut Fluffy into squares and doled out one square at a time and when a square had to be washed instead of washing it, she threw it away and gave me a new square and eventually there was no more Fluffy.

My husband gets me a blanket for Christmas every year. I love blankets. I wonder why.... (I'm not bitter) ;)

Anyway, when my kids were in those situations, I figured peer pressure would do the trick. Go to school with a "Fluffy" or sucking your thumb or whatever and it would probably not last long because the other kids weren't doing that. No reason for Mom to be the one to traumatize them.

If my mother cut my blankie into pieces I would CRY. Even now, and I'm 24 :lol:

I'm really glad to know I am not the only adult with a blankie (and stuffed doll which I dubbed Snuggle Dolly as a baby). Actually, I have 2 blankies. They're matching. The design is super faded now though. BUT I DON'T CARE AND I HAVE ONE ON ME RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT! But I am glad to know that there are people older than me, and married, who still have their blankets and their husbands don't mind. I was worried about what I'd do when I get married, since I brought one of he blankies and Snuggle Dolly with me to college and grad school. This will now be the test whenever I date someone. If they can't handle my blankie, they're out. :lol: But seriously you guys make me feel a lot better.

I remember I weirded out my roommate freshman year when I referred to Snuggle Dolly as "she." What am I supposed to call her, it? She's not an it!

Anyway, Kate threatening to take away something her child uses as security and comfort is just mean.

[realist51]

I had a college professor say one time "if your parents taught you to sit on a toliet seat backward you grow up, become an adult, and learn to turn around" silly example but her point was you can't just excuse away behavior from childhood. If you need help get it... Don't abuse your children.

Yes, I agree that the adult is responsible for getting the help she needs so she doesn't abuse her kids. The problem is, though, that the very defense mechanisms that helped that (now) adult survive the abusive childhood can make it VERY difficult to see straight. In this case, I think the onus is on Jon to get those kids out of there. I think Aunt Jodi and Kevin made an admirable effort on behalf of the kids, but that went nowhere.

[Onomatopoetikon]

From interviews with a nanny: radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/07/kate-gosselin-nanny-tell-all-rule-book/

Holy shit. This reads exactly like something she'd have written, and I can't even imagine growing up in a house like that. It's so weird how she's almost proud of the fact that she freaks out about pointless things, and causes unnecessary stress for everyone around her. Imagine the kind of pressure this all puts on the kids… One wrong step, and bam, freakout. No room for growing and learning in a friendly environment.

[As a] general rule, the house should never look like it is lived in by the end of the day.

What the actual fuck.

[Curious]

Oh there were tears, plenty of tears, while Fluffy was being KILLED cut into squares in front of me. I can remember making all kind of promises to save Fluffy. I was an unhappy little camper and when the last piece of Fluffy went in the garbage can, it was a sad, sad day.

Oddly, enough, stuffed animals weren't an issue. I had many stuffed animals, though I don't think I had a clear "favorite" until I was about 12 when my grandma got me a floppy puppy when I was sick. "Woofer" became my favorite and I do still have him carefully tucked away. He's a bit threadbare now or I'd still have him out.

I actually still slept with a stuffed animal until I got my first Chihuahua. When I have been in the hospital, I always take one with me. The first time, I told the nurses to go ahead and laugh, but they would pry it from my cold, dead hands and they said that many, many adults bring a stuffed animal with them and still sleep with them at the hospital.

Now with the Chihuahuas, I usually have a dog cuddled up where I would normally hold the stuffed animal, so I just have my stuffie on the headboard. When we just had one Chi, when she went to be spayed and was gone 2 nights, I went back to my stuffie ;)

[Mama Mia]

I was never a particularly attached to blankets/ stuffed animals kind of kid. But I freely admit that when I had to toss ( due to getting left in a bag that got soaked and left outside and the mildew was too lost a cause) the one bunny I had kept on my bed my whole life, I cried. And I was 20 something and it was my kid who had left it in the wet bag. I can't imagine why someone would insist on taking their kids lovey away.

[SuffolkNWhat]

I still need to have my Teddy to sleep, I panic (and have had one full blown panic attack) if I can't find him :embarrassed:

[Trynn]

I'm still bitter about dad binge cleaning my room once... He only did it once, but I'm still constantly afraid hell do it again now I'm away at college.

[SpeakNow]

I still have my blankie (my grandma knitted it for me when I was a baby), but I store it at my parents' house because I'm afraid of ruining it. I'm 25, and I still sleep with my stuffed bluebird Squeaky (who, at this point, no longer squeaks).

[tralala]

My mom likes to claim she took my security blanket away from me for cleaning one day and just kept forgetting to bring it back.

All I know is one day it was on my bunk, and the next it was gone. It was very upsetting.

[Lovebug]

Frankly, my heart hurts for the Gosselin kids AND for Kate. She was abused herself, and she probably has no idea how to be any other way. She needs help, not snark. I'm starting to feel the same way about Michelle Duggar. There comes a point when I don't think any of this is entertaining any more, and I just ache for how much pain these women must be in for them to be heaping it on their children the way they are.

While I can agree with you that Khate needs help, I respectfully disagree with feeling sorry for her because she doesn't know any better. She's very, very decisive, and knows exactly what she wants and what she was doing, IMO.

That being said, as someone who was both physically and mentally abused as a child by both my mother and father, I can tell you that I used my parents as an example of everything NOT to do with my children when I had them. It's a choice. You can either choose to repeat the patterns, or choose to change them. It's a conscious decision you make to change/better you life AND make your children's happy and healthy. I made the choice to change, because growing up sucked and I would never, ever wish that on them, ever.

Being abusive is a choice, and being abused should not be used as an excuse to then become an abuser.

Edited twice, because apparently spelling is hard!

[nana sew dear]

Atrocious Kate moments:

1. Freaking out about the ice cream at Disney World. What mother doesn't pack an extra set or two for their toddler. I'm guessing the melt down was less about the ice cream mess and more about hogging the spot light even if in a negative way.

2. Interviewing a cleaning person. We all knew that NOBODY would be up to Kate's standards. The poor woman who got the job lasted only one day because she hadn't picked up the entire stack of books on a shelf to dust under them where I'm guessing there was no dust because there were books on top of that spot. Enjoy doing it yourself, bitch! :nenner:

[Toothfairy]

While I can agree with you that Khate needs help, I respectfully disagree with feeling sorry for her because she doesn't know any better. She's very, very decisive, and knows exactly what she wants and what she was doing, IMO.

That being said, as someone who was both physically and mentally abused as a child by both my mother and father, I can tell you that I used my parents as an example of everything NOT to do with my children when I had them. It's a choice. You can either choose to repeat the patterns, or choose to change them. It's a conscious decision you make to change/better you life AND make your children's happy and healthy. I made the choice to change, because growing up sucked and I would never, ever wish that on them, ever.

Being abusive is a choice, and being abused should not be used as an excuse to then become an abuser.

Edited twice, because apparently spelling is hard!

I wholeheartly agree, however I do think people like Kate and Michelle do need professional help. Do I feel sorry for them no. They're grown adults old enough to make their own choices, their children don't. It seems to Kate had a difficult childhood. It was mention numerous times on the show that her parents and john parents weren't involved with them or the children.

[Coconut Flan]

Whether Kate was actively abused is probably not proven. Is her father a man with odd and strange beliefs and behaviors? Absolutely. Kate is the one who cut her family out and not over overt abuse. The rest of the family still associates on some level. Kate wanted her sister to choose between associating with Kate and associating with the parents. It seems Kate's father is rather high on the narcissism scale himself, but Kate may have ramped up the control and narcissism higher than he did.