Rush Thinks Obama Creating Army Of Lesbian Farmers To Destroy America

[47of74]

Wonkette discussed how all around dumb person Rush Limbaugh is having a freak out that the President is creating a bunch of lesbian farmers to make rural American less conservative.

wonkette.com/605735/rush-limbaugh-so-mad-obama-creating-army-of-lesbian-farmers-to-destroy-america

Quote

Remember back in the day when wingnut hate radio wackaloon Bryan Fischer said he wished Michelle Obama would focus one of her health initiatives on solving the problem of beefy lesbians? Well apparently Michelle’s husband Bamz heard the call, so he invented a secret program to get those ladies moving, specifically on farms! Yes, Rush Limbaugh has revealed an Obama conspiracy, and it focuses on the LGBT Rural Summit, a big gay hootenanny thrown by the Department of Agriculture and the National Center For Lesbian Rights (NCLR), to support LGBT families living in rural areas. Sounds harmless enough, right? That’s because you’re not Rush Limbaugh, hallucinating because the Oxycontin ran out probably and his Dominican houseboy has been playing hard-to-get, allegedly.

Rush explained that this is all part of President Obama’s master plan to magically turn lesbians into farmers, so they can destroy rural, conservative America from the inside out, as they scream Melissa Etheridge songs at the top of their lungs through the aisles of the Home Depot, while they are buying all the things they need for their farms. How does this Free Farms For Lezzies clandestine program work, Rush?

        Have you heard the latest Democrat scam? Have you heard about the Agriculture Department’s financial grants to lesbian farmers? You think I’m making this up?

        … but I’m telling you what they’re doing. They are trying to bust up one of the last geographic conservative regions in the country, and that’s rural America.

 

[HarryPotterFan]

I wish this was true...

[Howl]

Thank you or introducing me to 'wackaloon'.   It perfectly covers a lot of territory.  

Oh, Rush!  You'd become irrelevant and now you're roaring back with a cause.  

I ran into a woman recently whose partner has returned to the family farm to raise cattle.   She's doing well, making smart decisions related to animal husbandry and crop choices and is making some good money.  Not really seeing a problem.   Why so scared, Rush?   

According to some random web sites, Rush weighs in around 300 lbs or 230 lbs and smokes. 

[Hera]

I mean, this would be awesome, but why is it just lesbians? Surely gay men and trans people could just as readily corrupt rural America. I feel like Obama is really missing an opportunity to fully lure all those good, god-fearing rural folk to The Gay Side.  #BigGayArmyFail

[smittykins]

For a second, I wasn't sure whether the title meant "farmers who are lesbians" or "farmers who grow lesbians." 

[Khan]

Are lesbians a Monsanto product or are these heirloom organic varieties, @smittykins? 

[nastyhobbitses]

This is the best headline ever.

Though seriously, if there are some LGBT farmers out in rural America who'd be willing to take on some newbie workers (so basically WWOOF), I'd be down. I have a grand total of like 2 hours of experience doing farm stuff (but I know from that that I am strong on plow), but I'd be a very helpful and gung-ho bisexual farmer, ready to plant crops, feed chickens, and corrupt plain-talking folks into the gay lifestyle.

[MarblesMom]

I saw this thread and wondered why Geddy Lee was interested in lesbian farmers....  then I read more.  

[season of life]

We would probably be in a better place if we had lesbian farmers!

[CelticGoddess]

On August 21, 2016 at 2:12 AM, Khan said:

Are lesbians a Monsanto product or are these heirloom organic varieties, @smittykins? 

Oh, we are most definitely of the heirloom organic variety.

I wish I would be let in on these things.  I still haven't gotten my toaster, I still don't have my lesbian card and now I am missing out on the farming.  What's next, lesbian firefighters who let conservatives houses burn down?

[LadyCrow1313]

:: brief thread hijack ::

Many moons ago, at the animal hospital that I work at, we were taking care of a rabbit that was being boarded. The rabbit was very sweet, and the owner brought appropriate things for us to take care of it with (& this included food, treats, etc). One of the things the owner asked us to give him was to rip a page out of a Rush Limbaugh book & feed it to him every day. And you know what? The rabbit ate it, too.

I've always thought that was funny to me; I love when people are cool and have a sense of humor.

:: giving the thread back to the appropriate topic ::

[RosaLuxcyborg]

As a woman who lives in conservative rural America, let me just say that Rush had best deliver, because he's defrauding me hardcore with promises of hard working, left-wing, scissor sisters! Sorry, I need a moment alone in the prayer closet.