Pick A Reason Kelly Bates Is A LOUSY Mother

[VelociRapture]

8 minutes ago, Adrienne83 said:

Whoa!!! Is there anything to read about that? I don't think Whitney actually listened to her, did she?

I don't know where to read about it. But yes. Kelly did encourage Whit to reconnect with her birth parents. Her adoptive parents were at her wedding, but haven't been seen or heard from since. It appears Whitney did cut contact with them and reconnected with her birth parents.

I am extremely hesitant to pass judgement on Whitney in this situation though. We don't know why she wound up with her adoptive parents when she was a teenager or if the adoption was actually an adoption. There could be much more to the story that Whit just doesn't want to share - as is her right. 

[Glasgowghirl]

For Kelly to say that to Whitney when she herself has adopted siblings is shocking. There should be room for both sets of parents in her life and she shouldn't have to choose between them 

 

[Dandruff]

Imagine if the Bates kids chose the people who raised them over the people who made them.

[Exjw2015deed]

I've never seen the actual link of Kelly encouraging her to speak to her birth parents, if someone has the time can you please link it. Thank you.

[MarblesMom]

5 hours ago, faraway said:

There's some exceptions and unisex names are ok though. Totally different than the in the US.

This is the story that keeps on giving:

I worked with a man called Sofa Pupu.

I also worked with a woman called TheOne and her brother, TheSon.

(Teone' and Teeson)

And a woman named Princess.  Almost forgot that one.

[prayawaythefundie]

1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

This is the story that keeps on giving:

I worked with a man called Sofa Pupu.

I also worked with a woman called TheOne and her brother, TheSon.

(Teone' and Teeson)

And a woman named Princess.  Almost forgot that one.

Who would to that to their kids?

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

This is the story that keeps on giving:

I worked with a man called Sofa Pupu.

I also worked with a woman called TheOne and her brother, TheSon.

(Teone' and Teeson)

And a woman named Princess.  Almost forgot that one.

I appreciate living in a country with a strict regulation about names. No Sofas or TheOnes here. And as far as I know, no neutral names allowed, all names are male or female (for example Alex is a male name, despite some Alexandras use Alex as a nickname, but they're legally Alexandra). 

[faraway]

Haha yeah, Spanish names are very traditional and there's not a huge variety. But some sound pretty crazy to foreigners, like Inmaculada. I was really surprised that was a normal girls' name.

[tumblr]

8 hours ago, Exjw2015deed said:

I've never seen the actual link of Kelly encouraging her to speak to her birth parents, if someone has the time can you please link it. Thank you.

As far as I have seen everything about Whitney's current relationship with either set of parental figures is mostly hearsay or speculation. (Please feel free to prove me wrong if anyone has a link.)

I kind of hate how some people on here try to use this as a smoking gun against Zach and Whitney. We have no idea what led to Whitney not living with her parents for some of her childhood and have no proof if the adoption was legal or just social.

Whitney made the choice to let her birth parents back into her life, whether or not any of the Bates influenced that, it was her choice to make. We have no idea if the adopted parents are still in her life or not, they might just be choosing to avoid the cameras.

[wikinggirl]

3 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I appreciate living in a country with a strict regulation about names. No Sofas or TheOnes here. And as far as I know, no neutral names allowed, all names are male or female (for example Alex is a male name, despite some Alexandras use Alex as a nickname, but they're legally Alexandra). 

The Norwwegian name laws are a little strict, but they've loosened over the years. That's why we know have a guy with the middle name Keikoburger (yes, after the whale from Free Willy)

But the Icelandic name laws are kind of cool! Quoting from wikipedia because I'm lazy...

Quote

First names not previously used in Iceland must be approved by the Icelandic Naming Committee (Icelandic: Mannanafnanefnd) before being used. The criterion for acceptance of names is whether or not they can be easily incorporated into the Icelandic language. With some exceptions, they must contain only letters found in the Icelandic alphabet (including þ and ð), and it must be possible to decline the name according to the language's grammatical case system, which in practice means that a genitive form can be constructed in accordance with Icelandic rules.

 

[nausicaa]

17 hours ago, felinefundie said:

Personally, I like the name Michael, even for a girl. I think it suits her well. I don't like how she ended up with it and how it continues to be a point of confusion today. 

Me too. As someone with a boy's name, I always think it's cool when women have male names. And it has the added bonus of getting you more opportunities in the business world when communicating via email. Which makes it even funnier to me that a Fundie couple gave their daughter that name.

But yeah, super weird that they wouldn't research her name. Especially with it being Biblical. And she was their first daughter, so it wasn't like they had run out of names they liked and were throwing stuff together.

Then again, my mom didn't realize that my and my sister's names rhyme until we were teenagers and pointed it out to her...

[GreyhoundFan]

11 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

This is the story that keeps on giving:

I worked with a man called Sofa Pupu.

I also worked with a woman called TheOne and her brother, TheSon.

(Teone' and Teeson)

And a woman named Princess.  Almost forgot that one.

I went to high school with a girl named LaTrine. I had to resist the urge to call her "bathroom" or "toilet". I'm guessing her parents weren't military.

[catlady]

20 minutes ago, GreyhoundFan said:

I went to high school with a girl named LaTrine. I had to resist the urge to call her "bathroom" or "toilet". I'm guessing her parents weren't military.

I work in payroll/HR, so I see the name of every employee in our company.  we have had three different LaTrina's over the years, and they always make me think of latrine.

we've had at least five Precious's, but I get the impression that this name has gone kind of mainstream. 

there's been an urban legend of sorts about two brothers named LeMangelo and OrAngelo (lemon jello, orange jello).  I have  a friend who is an ophthalmolic dispenser (the guy at Pearle vision who measures and fits your new glasses); about 12 years ago, he swore that he had two clients--twins--with these names.  he wasn't allowed to share anything beyond that (and even this much was a little iffy), so I can't confirm whether he was telling the truth.

[Pretzel]

Has is been said already? If so, please excuse the repetitiveness.

My number one reason why Kelly is a lousy mother apart from the obvious (Gothard etc.) is that 

 

ERIN HAD TO INTRODUCE BROCCOLI TO HER LITTLE SIBLINGS.

 

To be fair, Kelly never claimed to be a good cook or to know anything about nutrition. Back when she still commented on her blog she was quite upfront about how little she knows about a healthy diet and that she does not pride herself with that. She even confessed to having grown up on TV meals, which are the nastiest stuff I've ever seen. However, when you know your knowledge about nutrition is poor and you have a ton of children to feed you just have to get yourself educated for Pete's sake! Erin seemed so regretful and a bit resentful when she said she was going to make sure her children will know and eat broccoli and other veggies. 

I don't like that Kelly made fun of Erin for not being able to cook.If your kid isn't able to cook it's your damn fault you didn't teach them! And if your own skills are so bad you couldn't teach them, don't make fun of them for crying out loud!

Ever since she married Chad it seems like Erin actually loves to cook and bake, try recipes with new-to-her veggies, fruit, experiment with different ingredients, and make the food look more palatable. I guess her ideas of what would make a healthy and appetizing meal just don't meet her family's standards of cheap and plain crowdfeeders. Erin won't earn an entry in the Guide Michelin anytime soon but she's shown to be very well able to cook a decent meal. Apparently now all the younger kids want to eat at Erin's house. I wonder why. 

 Don't tease your kids about not having skills if it's your fault they never had the chance to develop any!

[RosyDaisy]

After a few more babies, Erin will be feeding her kids the same slop she grew up eating.

[Melissa1977]

Shocking, but after 3 pages nobody has talked about one of the worst Bates things: they TRAINED (AKA: beat) the kids. Yes, Kelly has never confess that, but we all know they recommended Ezzo and Pearls. They even joked about spanking.

I just can't imagine how a mother can beat a baby. It's insane and it's abusive.

 

[NotALoserLikeYou]

The adoptive parents never spoke out publically about why they were no longer in Whitney's life. I, a stranger, asked the adoptive mother and she told me. She said the Bates brought her birth parents back into her life despite them abusing her all her life. She said she really did not understand it. She didn't say anything bad about Whitney or the Bates. It was already known from the Topix forum that her bio parents had been very abusive.

This is hearsay because it's just me saying it, but I do have the conversation saved should I ever need it in the Free Jinger Courtroom LOL - so you can believe me or not. From there on it was speculated here that since the birth parents were back it was possibly them who made it hard for Whitney to have them ALL in her life. Whitney has never addressed it. She had one set at her wedding, the adoptive ones, and the bio parents weren't even INVITED. You saw the adoptive parents in the background at the baby shower. Then the bio set were at the birth.

I *speculate* that there was a lot of awkwardness and tension about who is gonna be grandma/who is gonna be on the show etc. and it caused a divide. You know, abusive relationships are hard and even harder when you throw religion into the mix. I've BTDT and that desire to please/earn love can be very complicated. And a manipulative parent doesn't always change their behavior. Or maybe they are changed and repentant people.  It's certainly her right to do whatever. But like I have said before, when you sign up and present one version of your life on "Reality tv" then we are free to speculate about it. 

 

[NotALoserLikeYou]

And furthermore, if you beat your child so badly that she goes into FOSTER CARE and has to be ADOPTED by someone else for YEARS, then fuck you and the horse you suddenly rode in on.

[JillyO]

43 minutes ago, NotALoserLikeYou said:

The adoptive parents never spoke out publically about why they were no longer in Whitney's life. I, a stranger, asked the adoptive mother and she told me. She said the Bates brought her birth parents back into her life despite them abusing her all her life. She said she really did not understand it. She didn't say anything bad about Whitney or the Bates. It was already known from the Topix forum that her bio parents had been very abusive.

This is hearsay because it's just me saying it, but I do have the conversation saved should I ever need it in the Free Jinger Courtroom LOL - so you can believe me or not. From there on it was speculated here that since the birth parents were back it was possibly them who made it hard for Whitney to have them ALL in her life. Whitney has never addressed it. She had one set at her wedding, the adoptive ones, and the bio parents weren't even INVITED. You saw the adoptive parents in the background at the baby shower. Then the bio set were at the birth.

I *speculate* that there was a lot of awkwardness and tension about who is gonna be grandma/who is gonna be on the show etc. and it caused a divide. You know, abusive relationships are hard and even harder when you throw religion into the mix. I've BTDT and that desire to please/earn love can be very complicated. And a manipulative parent doesn't always change their behavior. Or maybe they are changed and repentant people.  It's certainly her right to do whatever. But like I have said before, when you sign up and present one version of your life on "Reality tv" then we are free to speculate about it. 

 

Agreed. If you choose to put your personal life of television (and Whitney chose this - she was an adult when she joined the dog and pony show, she wasn't raised like this), you make your personal life everyone's business. If you bring your parents onto the show, and after a while, all of a sudden you present a whole new set of parents, people are gonna ask questions. Of course it's Whitney's valid choice not to answer them, but she really can't complain that people are asking them and speculating. She signed up for this.

[Kak]

3 hours ago, JillyO said:

Agreed. If you choose to put your personal life of television (and Whitney chose this - she was an adult when she joined the dog and pony show, she wasn't raised like this), you make your personal life everyone's business. If you bring your parents onto the show, and after a while, all of a sudden you present a whole new set of parents, people are gonna ask questions. Of course it's Whitney's valid choice not to answer them, but she really can't complain that people are asking them and speculating. She signed up for this.

I do agree with this, but I think Whitney's background makes her more vulnerable to manipulation. IMO Kelly would find it easy to exploit Whitney for her own godly (nefarious) ends. 

[JillyO]

35 minutes ago, Kak said:

I do agree with this, but I think Whitney's background makes her more vulnerable to manipulation. IMO Kelly would find it easy to exploit Whitney for her own godly (nefarious) ends. 

True. I definitely think Kelly had her fingers in this seemingly sudden decision on Whitney's part.

[VelociRapture]

@NotALoserLikeYouThank you for your contribution. My only comment on this is to remind people that we only have one side of the story - which would be the adoptive mother's side. Other than what her adoptive mother told you we honestly have no clue what may or may not have happened during Whitney's childhood. We don't even know for sure whether she was legally adopted or not or how Whitney herself felt about the situation. Whitney isn't talking about it for some reason and I do think she has the right to keep quiet about it if she chooses to. It may feed into the speculation and cause more questions to be asked - but she has a right to a certain amount of privacy in this case and isn't obligated to discuss it if she doesn't want to.

I agree that speculation is bound to happen because they have the show and live such public lives. But I do think we should proceed with caution due to the potentially sensitive nature of the situation. 

(And I'm not saying I don't believe you or think anyone is lying or that speculation shouldn't happen or anything. I just think caution is warranted because Whit was still a minor at the time and it may have been a painful period in her life.)

[VelociRapture]

And back to Kelly:

That awkward as fuck scene where they gave Carlin a purity ring. Mostly because Carlin was so excited to spend time with just her parents and it just shows how little one on one time the kids actually get. But also because it was creepy as fuck. 

[DutchGirl]

For me it's the simple fact that they have 19 children. there is no way, not even for a SAHM who homeschools (very badly) to give each of your children the time and attention they deserve.

[Nashville92]

The one issue that has irritated me was when the kids admitted Michael potty trained them instead of their parents.  That is a parents job, not a child's.  It also bothers me how much money Lawson gave to them.  There's nothing wrong with helping every once in a while but constantly is ridiculous and irresponsible