Pick A Reason Kelly Bates Is A LOUSY Mother

[Palimpsest]

I'll just add to the list that Kelly Jo and Gil thought it was totally lovely and adorable for their kids to decorate their bedroom so gag-worthily romantically for their wedding anniversary night.  After 19 kids.

Holy boundaries, Mr. and Mrs. Bates.  Your children should not be so obsessed with their parents' sex lives.

[princessmahina]

On 8/17/2016 at 1:48 PM, RosyDaisy said:

After a few more babies, Erin will be feeding her kids the same slop she grew up eating.

Not necessarily. Perhaps Chad-does-everything can garden decently and they can provide reasonably healthy meals to their brood for a lower cost. Beans and rice are also cheap. She took the initiative that Kelly seemingly never had and went with it. If she enjoys cooking and does alright with it, she might try to pass that along to her children.

[MissManners]

I wouldn't be shocked if Whit's adoptive parents were taking issue with the Bates' and with the show or other things. THe Bates family is just as abusive any other Gothard family, and I'm sure they are encouraging Whitney to beat her children and submit sexually and other abusive b.s. we can't fathom.  So best way to keep Whitney under their thumb is to get rid of the people who would protect her from abuse and put back in the questionable parents who lost her for some reason. I feel like the Bateses and Duggars and their ilk would do whatever they can to destroy families that don't fit their image or their needs without an ounce of guilt. 

[HarleyQuinn]

When I first found out about the Whitney/adoptive parents things. I searched around the net and found comments saying her bio parents used to beat her and possibly drank/did drugs. Obviously that's anon spec, but it would make sense given Whitney was adopted out. Her adoptive father is a pastor himself, right? Maybe he did question some of the Bates' methods and that's why Kelly got in Whitney's ear about leaving.

Either way, that's one of the most annoying things Kelly has done, IMO. Just because I look at Whitney, someone who probably longed for a stable, big family due to her upbringing and they've completely manipulated her. It's sad, even though she and Zach look happy.

The ER visits as regular doctor care bothered me too. I think of the long wait to get into the ER at times and it's because of people like that. 

[MissManners]

It's so further confusing b/c way back when they were courting it sounded like Whit's bio parents died in a car crash. Seems like they allowed this lie to flourish until it became inconvenient. 

I can't imagine that UP tv is paying them that much, so they are selling out their kids and grandkids and kids in law for what is most likely a total pittance. 

To add to why Kelly Bates is a bad parent: She's selling out her kids for her Z-list fame whoring but the kids she's sold out get very little to nothing in return. 

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, MissManners said:

It's so further confusing b/c way back when they were courting it sounded like Whit's bio parents died in a car crash. Seems like they allowed this lie to flourish until it became inconvenient. 

I can't imagine that UP tv is paying them that much, so they are selling out their kids and grandkids and kids in law for what is most likely a total pittance. 

To add to why Kelly Bates is a bad parent: She's selling out her kids for her Z-list fame whoring but the kids she's sold out get very little to nothing in return. 

I think the adoptive parents had a child who died in a car crash. It was all very confusing. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just came to mind that a thread asking for ways in which Kelly Bates is NOT a bad parent would be a lot shorter.

[Melissa1977]

25 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Just came to mind that a thread asking for ways in which Kelly Bates is NOT a bad parent would be a lot shorter.

Her daugthers are going to college. Unaccreditted, but still. Alyssa went and she left, but she could have finished after wedding, as Michael or Erin. I mean, all of them they are allowed to go and some of them seem quite good students. It's the only good thing I can say about Kelly's parenting. 

I always find it funny that none of the older boys are getting a degree. What's the problem here? Has Kelly homeschooled better girls than boys? Are Bates girls smarter than their brothers? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Her daugthers are going to college. Unaccreditted, but still. Alyssa went and she left, but she could have finished after wedding, as Michael or Erin. I mean, all of them they are allowed to go and some of them seem quite good students. It's the only good thing I can say about Kelly's parenting. 

I always find it funny that none of the older boys are getting a degree. What's the problem here? Has Kelly homeschooled better girls than boys? Are Bates girls smarter than their brothers? 

Do they still have that tree cutting business?  If so maybe Gil and Kelly are putting their need for free labor ahead of their boys' futures?  I know I'd be shocked.

[Arix]

46 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Just came to mind that a thread asking for ways in which Kelly Bates is NOT a bad parent would be a lot shorter.

Easy, compare Jana and Michael and Tory and Joy. 

 

Michael went to a secular college and got married.

Tory's sporty streak has not been crushed, and she went to PCC. 

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The ER visits as regular doctor care bothered me too. I think of the long wait to get into the ER at times and it's because of people like that. 

Ugh yes. Gil's glibness when talking about that. So glad the rest of us can wait longer and pay higher bills cause your dumb ass decided to have 19 kids and quit your steady job.

Oh yeah, and none of their kids can go to medical school, take on student loan debt, and become a doctor because they're too Christian for that.  But they certainly will use the services of medical professionals when needed. 

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I always find it funny that none of the older boys are getting a degree. What's the problem here? Has Kelly homeschooled better girls than boys? Are Bates girls smarter than their brothers? 

This is just a theory, but my thought is that the sons know they're going to be expected to marry and provide for a family. A lot of young men would go to college to be sure they could provide a good life - but a lot of times that means delaying marriage. I think it's possible that a lot of the sons simply haven't wanted to delay having a possible relationship and skip school in order to start saving more money. 

They could go part-time, but it can be really tough to try to juggle family life with work and school. 

[Pretzel]

Some FJ genius, whose name escaped me, once pointed out that Kelly Bates was a better mother than Michelle Duggar just the way it's better to be constipated in a job interview than to have a bout of diarrhea.

Never heard a better comparison. Both ways are shit, just that one is more solid than the other.

[Arix]

My theory is that Kelly knows college will help with homeschooling the grandkids  

[sorchah]

I think it ties in with their patriarchal gender roles. Their aspiration for their female children is for them to marry godly men–and where do you find godly young men? At a bible school of course! The girls' college education is for their MRS degrees.*

Same idea for boys: their ideal man is a godly provider, and because in their area college education is not very important for that, there isn't much point in wasting years of working time in exchange for a piece of paper when you could learn a trade like tree care (Gil), machining (Chad), lawn mowing (Lawson and the other one), real estate (Boob and Michelle), used car sales (Boob and SmugSmeg), or become an amateur preacherman (à la Binjerman, Jeremy, Derick, Joseph, Bobby[?]).

 

*I think the only reason why Michael was allowed to attend a non-bible school was that she was already almost engaged.

[season of life]

The whole Whitney parenting feud is confusing. It wasn't until someone on FJ corrected me that I genuinely believed her bio parents died in a car crash. But it turns out her adoptive parents lost a daughter in a crash. I honestly have no clue what happened behind closed doors or why Whit decided to freeze out her adoptive parents. No doubt Kelly had a hand in their rift, but unless Whitney gives the full story, I don't think we will ever know the truth about her adoption or the lack of presence of the Owens family in her married life.

[nastyhobbitses]

14 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Ugh yes. Gil's glibness when talking about that. So glad the rest of us can wait longer and pay higher bills cause your dumb ass decided to have 19 kids and quit your steady job.

Oh yeah, and none of their kids can go to medical school, take on student loan debt, and become a doctor because they're too Christian for that.  But they certainly will use the services of medical professionals when needed. 

And then give God all the credit and decry biology and the like as sinful and straying from the path of Jesus.

Also, the ER abuse is bad enough, but I really, really hope they don't do what I've heard some ER system abusers do and try to use "magic words" to get taken back faster, like claiming chest pains. It makes it harder for people with real medical complaints to be believed and it's unbelievably selfish.

[Fundie Bunny]

A doubt about whitney's parents. Who are the owens and who are the perkins?

[CatNap]

Forcing Whitney to wear skirts only. I'm sure Kelly is behind this. And letting some of her kids drive after she admitted on TV that they are bad drivers and that she's afraid to ride with them.

[Violet]

1 hour ago, Fundie Bunny said:

A doubt about whitney's parents. Who are the owens and who are the perkins?

The Owens are the adoptive parents (the ones who referred to as her parents in the wedding photos and seemed to be in her life up until just before/around the time Bradley was born).

The Perkins are the biological parents (the ones who have been referred to as her parents in all the photos/footage since Bradley was born).

[Pretzel]

48 minutes ago, CatNap said:

Forcing Whitney to wear skirts only. I'm sure Kelly is behind this. And letting some of her kids drive after she admitted on TV that they are bad drivers and that she's afraid to ride with them.

According to my mom, who's deadly afraid of driving with her children, I'm apparently also a bad driver (after years of driving!). To her, everyone who isn't her, is a bad driver. Still, I have to drive to get from A to B.

Sorry, but if people stopped driving after their mother told them they were bad drivers, there wouldn't be any cars on the road. Being a good driver comes with practice and practice means driving the car! 

Being afraid of letting ones children drive is perhaps a parental issue. One day they're tiny babies, the next day you're sitting in the passenger's seat with your life depending on them . It's not a fundie issue and for once, I don't think that is what makes Kelly a bad parent. 

[CatNap]

12 minutes ago, Pretzel said:

According to my mom, who's deadly afraid of driving with her children, I'm apparently also a bad driver (after years of driving!). To her, everyone who isn't her, is a bad driver. Still, I have to drive to get from A to B.

Sorry, but if people stopped driving after their mother told them they were bad drivers, there wouldn't be any cars on the road. Being a good driver comes with practice and practice means driving the car! 

Being afraid of letting ones children drive is perhaps a parental issue. One day they're tiny babies, the next day you're sitting in the passenger's seat with your life depending on them . It's not a fundie issue and for once, I don't think that is what makes Kelly a bad parent. 

That's a good point. I neglected to mention in my post that I got to this conclusion after watching the Bates kids drive and learn how to drive (there was an episode about it), and they seemed very reckless and very poorly trained. Which I'm sure you're not

[nelliebelle1197]

Oh, I just thought of another one- Kelly married off all three daughters to Gothard-royalty husbands.  Yep, no matter how much these kids say they love each other, the fact remains that the Bateseseeees made sure the girls were shipped off to families that are as immersed in the cult as they are.

[Adrienne83]

On 8/18/2016 at 1:29 AM, NotALoserLikeYou said:

The adoptive parents never spoke out publically about why they were no longer in Whitney's life. I, a stranger, asked the adoptive mother and she told me. She said the Bates brought her birth parents back into her life despite them abusing her all her life. She said she really did not understand it. She didn't say anything bad about Whitney or the Bates. It was already known from the Topix forum that her bio parents had been very abusive.

This is hearsay because it's just me saying it, but I do have the conversation saved should I ever need it in the Free Jinger Courtroom LOL - so you can believe me or not. From there on it was speculated here that since the birth parents were back it was possibly them who made it hard for Whitney to have them ALL in her life. Whitney has never addressed it. She had one set at her wedding, the adoptive ones, and the bio parents weren't even INVITED. You saw the adoptive parents in the background at the baby shower. Then the bio set were at the birth.

I *speculate* that there was a lot of awkwardness and tension about who is gonna be grandma/who is gonna be on the show etc. and it caused a divide. You know, abusive relationships are hard and even harder when you throw religion into the mix. I've BTDT and that desire to please/earn love can be very complicated. And a manipulative parent doesn't always change their behavior. Or maybe they are changed and repentant people.  It's certainly her right to do whatever. But like I have said before, when you sign up and present one version of your life on "Reality tv" then we are free to speculate about it. 

 

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Whitney's birth parents died in an auto accident. Or was that just what we were all told at first?

After reading this entire thread, I see the auto accident thing was a lie. I think that's what makes Kelly a bad person in general. What kind of person would keep up that kind of lie!? Karma is too scary for me to even think about doing that. *shudders*

[VelociRapture]

6 hours ago, Adrienne83 said:

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Whitney's birth parents died in an auto accident. Or was that just what we were all told at first?

After reading this entire thread, I see the auto accident thing was a lie. I think that's what makes Kelly a bad person in general. What kind of person would keep up that kind of lie!? Karma is too scary for me to even think about doing that. *shudders*

I'm not sure how that rumor started. It may not have been Kelly or anyone involved though. If someone wasn't reading carefully then it would be easy enough to see adoption and car crash and think her parents died.

Or they could have spread the rumor. Who knows.