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M Is For Mama - making quiverfull look modern


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18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It looks just like many other mommy blogs all over the web. A mommy claiming all these relatable things like a messy house, sleepless nights, penny pinching, etc. But all the pics are filled with crafty cute creations, perfectly coiffed children, and mom with her hair and makeup done. 

Its all just one big humble brag. 

That's the issue I have with so many mommy blogs. "I'm just like you! ....In my giant house I can afford because my husband has a six-figure income, my perfectly coiffed children who always cooperate when I constantly pose them for photos, my perfect body that bounced back the second after I gave birth to my fifth kid because I pretty much only eat these ridiculously expensive quinoa breakfast bowls infused with Guatemalan unicorn piss (check my blog for recipes that require weird, obscure ingredients that you need to go to extremely pretentious health food stores to find and will cost the same as a week's worth of groceries) (oh, and I'll pose for a few perfectly lit photos of me practically fellating an ice cream cone, but I don't actually eat that shit), my stage-quality makeup that I do every single day, and my stories of messes and tantrums that I will never, ever document (despite the fact that my kids basically live on a movie set with the number of pictures I take of them doing everything) because that would break the illusion."

I feel absolutely horrible saying this, but I remember being kind of weirded out by the fact that even Freckled Fox's post about her husband's FUNERAL had these perfectly posed pictures that look like they came out of a special edition of Vogue for undertakers. You could tell her grief and her children's grief was incredibly crushing and raw, I don't doubt that, but even saying goodbye to her husband had to be this perfectly photographed affair.

 

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I read M for Mama relatively regularly and yeah, it's all very scrubbed and perfect and then veeeery occastionally the fundie nastiness pokes through. 

 

I didn't know the Freckled Fox's husband had died - that is devastating. Poor kids. 

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1 hour ago, ladyaudley said:

I read M for Mama relatively regularly and yeah, it's all very scrubbed and perfect and then veeeery occastionally the fundie nastiness pokes through. 

 

I didn't know the Freckled Fox's husband had died - that is devastating. Poor kids. 

Yeah, I think that as much as I snark on her being very much the typical Perfect Mommy Blogger and as weirded out as I was by how even the day she buried her husband had to be so glamorous and choreographed, I really give her credit for being very honest and forthright about what she and her family are going through. It was heartbreaking to read through her entries about her husband; it was clear that she adored him and he adored her, and they obviously made a very loving family for their kids (youngest is barely a toddler). I hope she has a fallback income from the blog/sponsorships and that she's getting support from her family and friends; suddenly becoming a single mom to five young children when you were an SAHM before isn't easy (and she's basically been a single mom for a while; her husband seemed to have gone downhill very quickly).

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3 hours ago, ladyaudley said:

 

 

I didn't know the Freckled Fox's husband had died - that is devastating. Poor kids. 

I cried when I read that!

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2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Yeah, I think that as much as I snark on her being very much the typical Perfect Mommy Blogger and as weirded out as I was by how even the day she buried her husband had to be so glamorous and choreographed, I really give her credit for being very honest and forthright about what she and her family are going through. It was heartbreaking to read through her entries about her husband; it was clear that she adored him and he adored her, and they obviously made a very loving family for their kids (youngest is barely a toddler). I hope she has a fallback income from the blog/sponsorships and that she's getting support from her family and friends; suddenly becoming a single mom to five young children when you were an SAHM before isn't easy (and she's basically been a single mom for a while; her husband seemed to have gone downhill very quickly).

$84k + change has been raised for her so far, according to an item on her home page. 

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10 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

[respectfully snipped]

I feel absolutely horrible saying this, but I remember being kind of weirded out by the fact that even Freckled Fox's post about her husband's FUNERAL had these perfectly posed pictures that look like they came out of a special edition of Vogue for undertakers. You could tell her grief and her children's grief was incredibly crushing and raw, I don't doubt that, but even saying goodbye to her husband had to be this perfectly photographed affair.

 

I wasn't familiar with this particular blogger and went to check her blog out. I can't imagine being a widow with five young children, and my heart goes out to her. That being said, I feel as though the photographs, though beautiful, should have been kept private. This relates back to my earlier (and much, much more in jest) comment about keeping certain aspects of childhood safe from public consumption. The public release and wide dissemination of the images children grieving their father at his funeral is troubling, and it makes me wonder what sort of psychological repercussions this up and coming generation is going to have as a result of being posted about on social media from their very first ultrasound picture. 

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On August 2, 2016 at 3:43 PM, Petrel said:

Does it make you less manly if you build the house wearing work gloves? 

Well, according to the CelticDude, it makes you MORE of a man, because you aren't freaking stupid!  However, I am sure that some of the fundies will argue that if you wear gloves, it means you aren't truly manly (like wearing a  safety helmet, choosing to NOT build your house "from scratch" because you don't have the skills to do so, etc are not truly manly".  The CelticDude worked construction and was a rocker for about 6 years while he worked his way through x-ray school.   His da, also a manly man, was an electrical engineer who instilled a sense of the common into his son.  you don't wire your house if you don't know what you are doing!  Also probably not really manly man!

 

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According to the faq section - when the twins were newborns, she started sending her sons to a fundy private school 3 days a week, and had hired help for the toddler girl. I can't find an update on the amount of help she's currently getting, she now has a 6th child or if the older boys are still in school and the older girl has joined them or not.  

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2 minutes ago, imokit said:

According to the faq section - when the twins were newborns, she started sending her sons to a fundy private school 3 days a week, and had hired help for the toddler girl. I can't find an update on the amount of help she's currently getting, she now has a 6th child or if the older boys are still in school and the older girl has joined them or not.  

I did notice that there was a post she did regarding her homeschooling, in which she outlined that her mother did a great deal of it. 

Quote

This year that looks like hiring her to come to our house on Tuesdays and Thursdays to teach the boys and Della from 10-3. Then, those three go home with her on Thursday evening and stay through Friday (they only have to do their “independent” workbooks at her house on Fridays rather than our full curriculum, so it’s our lightest day).

Which means that I only home school alone on Mondays and Wednesdays.

http://misformama.net/2016/05/our-homeschool-year-in-review.html

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16 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I did notice that there was a post she did regarding her homeschooling, in which she outlined that her mother did a great deal of it. 

http://misformama.net/2016/05/our-homeschool-year-in-review.html

That's a fairly recent post so I'm assuming it's still accurate. If so, I give her a so-far, so-good on her approach to homeschooling. To be successful at it as a QF parent, you really have to supplement in some way, and she's used an experienced teacher in her mother, a private school and a co-op. She also shows a willingness to adapt styles to their own situations, which is a major benefit of homeschooling that most fundies throw out the window. 

I do kind of side-eye teaching christian apologetics to grade-schoolers when they aren't effectively learning things like geography and foreign language, but at least the english curriculum looks pretty extensive.

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I will say, she did say she "hired" her mom to do the teaching for most of the week, which to me doesn't seem any stranger than hiring a private teacher for one's kids. I've always thought if I were going to choose homeschooling for my kids, I'd have to hire someone to do it because I don't have that kind of patience. That might make it homeschooling but not mom-schooling, I don't know. But if she really did hire her, at least Softa's getting paid!

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On 8/3/2016 at 1:04 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

I feel absolutely horrible saying this, but I remember being kind of weirded out by the fact that even Freckled Fox's post about her husband's FUNERAL had these perfectly posed pictures that look like they came out of a special edition of Vogue for undertakers. You could tell her grief and her children's grief was incredibly crushing and raw, I don't doubt that, but even saying goodbye to her husband had to be this perfectly photographed affair.

My $.02 is that the photos are beautiful and could serve as an important memento to the children who are probably going to be too young to remember the day. I think it's nice that her children will someday be able to look at those nice photos and see the emotion of the day and how many people turned out to the funeral. Yeah, it's different than what most of us would do. But she's also been documenting what they've been going through on the blog, so I don't think it's super bizarre she chose to share the photos in light of that fact. 

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On 3 August 2016 at 10:04 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

I feel absolutely horrible saying this, but I remember being kind of weirded out by the fact that even Freckled Fox's post about her husband's FUNERAL had these perfectly posed pictures that look like they came out of a special edition of Vogue for undertakers. You could tell her grief and her children's grief was incredibly crushing and raw, I don't doubt that, but even saying goodbye to her husband had to be this perfectly photographed affair.

 

No idea who that is, but I was dumbfounded by the pics (gorgeous pics). It looked like something out of Vogue. So weird.

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3 hours ago, Taters said:

No idea who that is, but I was dumbfounded by the pics (gorgeous pics). It looked like something out of Vogue. So weird.

I do think that everyone can grieve in their own way and her husband's battle with cancer was very well-documented on the blog (and in a way that was respectful to him, IMO), but yeah, I guess because I'm from a family where grief is a very private thing, I find it a bit macabre and odd to do photoshoots at a funeral. That being said, we might end up doing a few family photos at my grandpa's memorial service, simply because it's rare for us to be all together at once. But I think it will remind me a bit of those America's Next Top Model group photos where it's down by one every time a girl gets voted off. My grandpa could not smize well enough to please Miss J.

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Props to Mama for actually hiring a real teacher to homeschool, but did you all notice that her mother the teacher takes the boys and her oldest daughter from TH after school through Friday?

Not that I begrudge her the help and not that she doesn't need a break, but she isn't doing what most people /fundies think of as homeschooling -- doing it all by herself everyday -- SOTDRT

She has a private teacher 2 days a week. There is no school on Friday and 3 of the children are out of the house. And according to a blog entry it seems Monday school is only a couple of hours in the afternoon after shopping, errands and lunch.  So she's really only teaching on Wed,

She readily admits that this schedule allows to her to blog, do craft/ decorating projects, teach fitness classes, etc, etc. So she's a SAHM with the many perks that privilege and money can buy.

In many ways she's exactly like a couple of very rich privileged SAHMs I know who have full-time nannies and send the school age ones to a fancy private school.  They talk about their days being so busy but they've outsourced as much of the childcare as they can -- including the school carpooling to the nannies.

Ultimately I don't care that she has this privilege because her husband makes bank.  But own it.  Acknowledge that she can do this  -- stay at home, 6 kids, craft and decor projects, work part time at a fun job, have a paid for house because she has help and money.  Own up to the fact that she is not the usual fundie SAHM with lots of kids trying to to homeshool and live on one salary.

She has what looks like a happy shiny beautiful life that is all so easy because of money. 

Full disclosure:  No envy here on my part.  My husband and I both make bank and we have no children.  But I acknowledge that we have a good life and live the way we do' because we have bank.

 

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I just nipped over there. The very first post I saw (dated August 4) contained the usual fundie lockstep boycott of Target because of OMG PERVERTS IN THE RESTROOMS OMG. It was particularly jarring in the midst of her friendly, folksy chat about finding a reasonably priced embroidered handbag.

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Looks like they are building a new house now complete with Viking appliances. So relatable.

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Somewhere she mentioned that the paid for house built by her husband's manly hands was 2800 sq ft.  That was with 5 kids, now there are 6, and since she's only 32-ish there will probably 6 more.

They're going to need a bigger house unless she intends to pull a Kendra from "Catholic all Year".  Who has her 8 children in 2 bedrooms -- one for boys and one for girls (she has her 13 year old daughter in a room with the one year old baby girl).  This in a house that originally had 10 bedrooms, but they renovated to only have 4 (one guest room).  Don;t get me started on Kendra's wacky notion that children don't need privacy ..... ever.  

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4 hours ago, Fruitcake said:

Looks like they are building a new house now complete with Viking appliances. So relatable.

If you read any of the appliance forums, Viking appliances are very expensive, but not very well-thought of.  Pretty much every other upscale brand of appliance get high marks, but not Viking.  The impression I get is that you get Viking just to impress people and not because you actually love to cook.  Ina Garten is an exception, but maybe she was comped with Vikings or she has an older range.  I do hear that Viking was better years ago.

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On August 5, 2016 at 9:53 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

 .... Ultimately I don't care that she has this privilege because her husband makes bank.  But own it.  Acknowledge that she can do this  -- stay at home, 6 kids, craft and decor projects, work part time at a fun job, have a paid for house because she has help and money.  Own up to the fact that she is not the usual fundie SAHM with lots of kids trying to to homeshool and live on one salary. ...

 

 

A million times yes! This is what I wanted to say earlier but was too fired up to be this coherent. :) 

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She's seriously delusional. Exhibit a) The way she describes how they were able to afford their house debt-free. Alright, so she and her husband (mostly) built their own home in a year. I'll agree that's pretty impressive. But yeah, they "only" paid $100,000 for everything (well, everything except for the land, which she doesn't say how much they paid for it). Out of pocket. Does she not realize most people can't afford to pay $100,00 out of pocket? Let alone the fact that they were able to stay at her parents' house in some kind of in-law suite with its own kitchen and two bathrooms. For an entire year. For free, I strongly assume.

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On August 6, 2016 at 0:05 PM, Fruitcake said:

Looks like they are building a new house now complete with Viking appliances. So relatable.

We went with Kenmore for that retro look...

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the ugly shows its head again in the latest post, where she discloses she no longer shops at Target because their gender neutral bathrooms offer an inroad for voyeurs and paedophiles. 

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Their "starter home" was the same size as the house my parents built after being married and both working full time for ten years... Is this normal in the US, to consider 1800sq feet a "cute" "starter home"?

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