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Staddon-Neely nuptials and aftermath (2)


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On 11/8/2016 at 0:33 PM, nastyhobbitses said:

Same. These days, I'm thinking of (if I ever find someone) doing what one of my friends is doing: small courthouse wedding, then do a fun formal party with more people (but still nothing terribly fancy) later.

I did it. A wedding with my family, we were 21 people, we had a nice civil wedding in the town hall and then a fancy dinner (yeah, when you're inviting just 21 people there's no budget limitations haha). Then another day we invited our friends to an informal cocktail, no suits nor gowns needed, just a nice night together.

I've been in big weddings, I love it if the bride&groom love it, but it's not my cup of tea. I prefer more private celebrations.

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On 8/11/2016 at 11:12 AM, The limit does not exist said:

I'm in the middle of planning my wedding and trying to be low key about the requirements for my bridesmaids (2) and MOH. I picked a dress designer (Alfred Angelo), color, fabric and length and let them pick the dress so they could pick a style that flattered them. I sent them the pricing for hair and makeup and told them they could do their own if they wanted instead of paying to have it done. I'm getting them the jewelry so it matches and they can wear whatever shoes they want. Since we all live so far away from each other and family I don't think I'm even having a shower but we are having a bachelorette party.

I want them to stand next to me at my wedding, not milk them dry! 

I did the same with dresses. Told them to get whatever shoes they wanted in a specific color. Told them to wear whatever jewelry they wanted (after being in 4 wedding parties, I was so over the tacky cheap ass matching jewelry as gift thing--gave them something else entirely), let them do their own hair and makeup as they saw fit (two had their hair done, two did it themselves), and absolutely did not dictate mani/pedis. The matching mani/pedi thing made me want to kill brides when I was a bridesmaid. Especially the bridezilla who made us wear peptobismol pink nail polish. Another one demanded that the married and engaged maids take off their rings because the other three of us did not have rings and it wouldn't match. She also made one maid pierce her ears so everyone would be wearing earrings. 

The result of my lack of demands: a lecture from my MoH that she was concerned about my "lack of interest" in the details of the wedding and felt that my marriage might be "doomed". Okay, then. She was also terribly concerned about how people would feel about the bridesmaids not having matching shoes. I told her that if people at my wedding wanted to nitpick about shoes, that was going to have to be their problem. 

The three bridesmaids were ecstatic that I was being laid back and they could feel like individuals at the wedding. They all looked stunning and looked like themselves rather than a group of clones created by a crazy bride. Been there, done that, couldn't bear to make anyone else go through it.

Edited by Coconut Flan
Removed empty quote box.
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@louisa05 I like your style. If I have an actual wedding and not just courthouse/Elvis -> party later, I'm definitely doing what you do: here's the color/color scheme you need to get, here's the dress length, here's the general aesthetic of the wedding decor, go buy a dress and shoes. Or better yet, use stuff you already have if you have stuff that works. I've never been a bridesmaid, but I just think it's so silly to make your friends and relatives shell out so much money for dresses and shoes that are hard to adapt to other occasions (bridesmaid dresses just look like bridesmaid dresses most of the time), on top of hair, makeup, presents for you, drinks, travel, etc.

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2 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

@louisa05 I like your style. If I have an actual wedding and not just courthouse/Elvis -> party later, I'm definitely doing what you do: here's the color/color scheme you need to get, here's the dress length, here's the general aesthetic of the wedding decor, go buy a dress and shoes. Or better yet, use stuff you already have if you have stuff that works. I've never been a bridesmaid, but I just think it's so silly to make your friends and relatives shell out so much money for dresses and shoes that are hard to adapt to other occasions (bridesmaid dresses just look like bridesmaid dresses most of the time), on top of hair, makeup, presents for you, drinks, travel, etc.

All of that and making grown women play some bizarre twins game with people they may or may not know...it is all just ridiculous. Plus I had four women with four very different body types--no way that a dress exists that would have been flattering on all four of them. 

My biggest thing, though, was that the endless matchy-match "oh my god, you can't wear a wedding ring, people will notice that you don't match the other five bridesmaids because they don't have wedding rings!" shit is downright juvenile. Reminds me of when we loved to wear matching shirts with best friends when we were in first grade or so. No, thank you. 

I told my maids to get silver pumps or sandals. Whatever they wanted that they thought they would wear again. One had flat sandals, one had wedges. One had impossibly high heels in a sandal and one had a peep toe pump. No worries from me. They all looked great and I know they all wore the shoes again more than once. 

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My late husband and I had no bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearer or flower girl--just a best man and maid of honor.  Our rings came from Wal-Mart, and my gown from the local thrift store(donated unsold stock from a bridal store).  The Tuxedo Junction had Looney Tunes bow ties and cummerbunds, but I couldn't get them to go for it.

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Back to the topic, I just can't believe these kind of families exist. But if they exist, there's hope for a Maxwell girl to marry. If Steve allows them, of course.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Here in the UK the bridesmaids are literally like maids/personal assistants to the bride.  Not in a nasty/pushy way, but the purpose of having them is to have someone the bride trusts to help her out with anything and everything on the wedding day.  So when I was bridesmaid/maid of honour for my friend this year, I basically let her know that she could ask me to do anything to help, i was at her disposal. I brought doughnuts in the morning, sat on the phone for her sorting last minute issues, helped with snacks before the ceremony. At the church I wrangled the 4 small bridesmaids, made sure the bride's train and veil were straight, helped her in the bathroom, held her bouquet etc etc/.  And organised the hen do a month beforehand. It's not supposed to be about honouring me, but about helping and supporting my best friend on her wedding day.

Traditionally the bride and her family pay for the bridesmaids' outfits.  My mum made the dresses and matching bags, and I bought necklaces as gifts.  We also paid for their hair styling, so the only thing they had to buy was shoes.  You might end up wearing a colour you don't really like, but at least you don't have to pay for it!

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1 hour ago, season of life said:

Can't wait for the inevitable pregnancy announcement. They are so young.

I'm actually surprised there hasn't been one yet. It's only been nearly two months since the wedding, though.

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On ‎8‎/‎8‎/‎2016 at 9:39 AM, Pianokeeper said:

You'll have to forgive my ignorance, please (first generation American and occasionally American norms slip through my cracks of understanding), but... what is the benefit of being a bridesmaid and why do people want to do it?

I've even BEEN a bridesmaid, and I'm really not sure. At worst, you have to spend a lot of money, you wear a dress you hate, you have to participate in wayyyyy more photos being taken when you could be eating all the delicious food with the other guests... even in a best case scenario I just don't understand what the perks are. 

I'm sure the bride (a close friend) would have been offended if I asked this question, so here's my opportunity! Why would cousins, etc, battle over being a bridesmaid? Why would anybody want to do it other than as a favor to a bride?

I'm sure some folks see it as a way to genuinely help a bride with all the insanity that weddings can be; others, perhaps, may see it as a status symbol of sorts ("I was Soandso's bridesmaid & I'm now way more super cool than you").

Speaking from personal experience, I've been in three weddings myself; I was involved in them to help out my friends. Everyone has different reasons, I suppose.

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On 13 August 2016 at 7:33 PM, louisa05 said:

and absolutely did not dictate mani/pedis. The matching mani/pedi thing made me want to kill brides when I was a bridesmaid. Especially the bridezilla who made us wear peptobismol pink nail polish. Another one demanded that the married and engaged maids take off their rings because the other three of us did not have rings and it wouldn't match. She also made one maid pierce her ears so everyone would be wearing earrings. 

 

Matching mani-pedis?! Haha that's crazy.

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I eloped. My husband and I went to a country inn in Vermont and were married by a justice of the peace. We invited a couple we were close with to be our witnesses. We didn't exchange rings. The ceremony lasted 10 or 15 minutes, then we all went out to a fancy lunch. We announced our marriage to family and friends when we returned from the weekend.

It was very romantic and stress free. We focused on each other the whole time. I'd do it exactly the same way again.

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We each had a witness. Not a best man or maid of honor. I asked my sister to wear whatever long dress she wanted. His friend wore a nice suit. My dad did not even walk me down the aisle, we all just went together. My dress was $77, cream & stretchy from a designer outlet, not a gown. We had 36 guests & a great dinner at a small restaurant, no dancing or band or dj. We just mingled & talked after. Our friends & family loved it. Food was great & reception cost about $1,500. My parents just had to show up. We planned & paid for it all.

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  • 2 months later...

I feel like I should post on this thread that Kathryn is visibly pregnant and got pregnant soon after the wedding like the good fundie wife that she is. 

I hope it's a red head but I doubt it.

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6 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I feel like I should post on this thread that Kathryn is visibly pregnant and got pregnant soon after the wedding like the good fundie wife that she is. 

I hope it's a red head but I doubt it.

 

It blows my mind that you could go from having very little interaction with someone, to married and expecting a child with them within a few months. (not that this doesn't happen in the secular world though)

It really struck me in all of the stories I read on Staddon/Neely courtships, that the guys contacted the father first.  I know that's how these things work in these cults, but it still amazes me.

I know the women theoretically have the option of saying "no", but how likely is that to really happen.  In Kendalyn Staddon's case, it sounds like she really needed to be convinced.

 

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We eloped because I didn't want biomom's family involved. Hubs "asked" my dad after we'd been married for 9 years-dad said "Its a little late now!" We had planned to do a vow renewal at some point but when my dad passed in 2010 that got put on the backburner.

DD and Fuzzy are having a Viking Style wedding in the fall after Donkeybutt signs the damn papers. Since Dad gave her away last time, it's my turn. I am told that she's to be "stolen" from myself and her brothers....

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 13/09/2016 at 1:25 AM, AliC said:

I'm actually surprised there hasn't been one yet. It's only been nearly two months since the wedding, though.

They haven't announced it, but Kathryn is indeed pregnant.

This photo is from the Thanksgiving weekend and she looks visibly pg here so it appears to have been a honeymoon baby.

OK, we get it - you know how to make babies now. (Photo also from November.)

161111-James-Staddon_-3_thumb.jpg

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18 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

They haven't announced it, but Kathryn is indeed pregnant.

This photo is from the Thanksgiving weekend and she looks visibly pg here so it appears to have been a honeymoon baby.

OK, we get it - you know how to make babies now. (Photo also from November.)

161111-James-Staddon_-3_thumb.jpg

That caption is so stupid. This is the largest our family has ever been! 

Well fucking duh. Of course it's bigger. And it's just going to keep getting bigger and bigger since y'all breed like rabbits. 

This caption is like me captioning a picture of my toddler with, "this is the largest he's ever been!"

:pb_rollseyes:

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Another honeymoon baby. What a surprise.

The family picture is heinous. The married women are all wearing these awful neonpink loop scarves and poor Esther is unhappier than I've ever seen her before. And all these unmarried boys and young men sitting on the fence like this is just awkward.

Edited by ophelia
not enugh coffee. and it is monday. cut me some slack.
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1 minute ago, ophelia said:

Another honeymoon baby. What a surprise.

The family picture is heidous. The married women are all wearing these awful neonpink loop scarves and poor Esther unhappier than I've ever seen her before. And all these unmarried boys and young men sitting on the fence like this is just awkward.

No bright pink lei for you Esther! You will get lei-ed* when you get married. 

 

 

*see what I did there?*

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22 minutes ago, ophelia said:

The married women are all wearing these awful neonpink loop scarves and poor Esther is unhappier than I've ever seen her before. 

I know, right. What gets me is - from what I can tell, she worked (works?) at IBLP HQ rather than lived with the family in WV, though she may not have moved with them to TX.

So, unlike say the Maxwell girls, she would have had plenty of opportunities to meet a potential husband over the years, but no.

I wonder if it's because she's seen as more of a career woman now, not mother material. Also, if her parental authority is the other side of the country, it's not like she can initiate anything herself.

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13 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

They haven't announced it, but Kathryn is indeed pregnant.

This photo is from the Thanksgiving weekend and she looks visibly pg here so it appears to have been a honeymoon baby.

OK, we get it - you know how to make babies now. (Photo also from November.)

 

It was confirmed on Robert's Facebook page back in November. She's due in April.

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On ‎1‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 9:26 AM, ophelia said:

Another honeymoon baby. What a surprise.

The family picture is heinous. The married women are all wearing these awful neonpink loop scarves and poor Esther is unhappier than I've ever seen her before. And all these unmarried boys and young men sitting on the fence like this is just awkward.

"Look! We're either pregnant now or have had babies in the past, so we get to wear these super cool loopy things. The rest of you lasses get to wear pink clothes, & that means that you'll be able to do the same thing that we did some day! Woo hoo!"

(On a side note, I hope Esther can get some true happiness in her life. Everyone deserves that, really.)

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On 9.1.2017 at 4:59 PM, Captain Obvious said:

So, unlike say the Maxwell girls, she would have had plenty of opportunities to meet a potential husband over the years, but no.

Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't been hitched yet. Her family is ATI royalty, she has worked at the HQ and for ATI for years, and is quite a nice looking young lady. She has to be nearing 30 soon. Of course the track record for Staddon marriages isn't that great yet. Daniel is just the second Staddon to get married, and many years after the first, Robert. I doubt if Donald ever marries, but I had some "hope" for Michael, who is a farmer (a real job at least) and kind of cute in a dorky way. But the elder Staddon brothers seem to be happy to live with Ma & Pa. They kind of remind me of the Arndts, who are Safe At Home, too.

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