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47of74

Florida stories

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Mischievous
47of74

Florida Man Second Amendmented a toilet

Quote

A man from St. Petersburg, Florida, shocked his roommate Saturday when he fired a gun inside their house and shattered a toilet.

Police said the bullet tore through numerous walls before it destroyed the porcelain throne, local station WTSP reported Sunday. Police arrested Ryan Rawson Montgomery, 40, who, according to an affidavit, claimed he was playing with the gun when it unexpectedly discharged.

After the incident, Montgomery tossed the gun in an area of water nearby. A visitor, Sheryl Jackson, 64, took the bullet, later telling police she wanted to hide it.

Police charged both Jackson and Montgomery with tampering with physical evidence. Also charged with culpable negligence and violating probation in Charlotte County, Montgomery is being held on a bail of $2,250. Jackson was released on a $2,000 bail, WTSP reported.

 

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Mischievous
47of74

(You KNOW what state) man who bought a private island was busted for stealing from a Mart of K days later.

Quote

A week after paying $8 million for a private island in the Florida Keys, a real estate developer was arrested for stealing $300 in merchandise from a department store, police report.

Andrew Lippi, 59, was busted Saturday on a felony grand theft rap for allegedly swiping coffeemakers, linen, and light bulbs from a Kmart in Key West.

According to a Key West Police Department report, Lippi purchased the household goods and then returned the items to Kmart, where employees discovered that the boxes no longer contained the new items..

Lippi’s bust came days after he closed on the $8 million purchase of Thompson Island, a gated island adjacent to Key West.

 

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Howl

This is what makes me love twitter with all my heart

 

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Mischievous
47of74
13 hours ago, Howl said:

This is what makes me love twitter with all my heart

 

I for one welcome our new testudine overlords.  (Except of course for Mitch McFuckstick).

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Mischievous
47of74

Florida Women busted air drying themselves in public

Quote

Three naked women fresh from the shower at a Florida rest area told cops they were “air drying” in public when spotted by a witness who called 911, precipitating high-speed chases that resulted in the trio’s arrest on multiple felony charges.

The witness, cops say, reported that the women were at an Interstate 75 rest stop Wednesday morning, and that “all three of them” were “standing in the nude putting on suntan lotion.”

When a Florida Highway Patrol trooper arrived at the rest stop, the naked women explained that they had simply been “air drying” in the nude after showering. Before the cop could complete her investigation, however, the trio jumped into their Nissan Sentra and drove off on the highway.

The car was subsequently tracked to the parking lot of a convenience store that the trio--now apparently clothed--had entered. When a trooper sought to arrest one of the women leaving the store, the driver of the Nissan allegedly tried to strike him with the vehicle.

Gets crazier from there.

Gonna jump out on the ol' limb here and guess either drugs or alcohol were involved.

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thoughtful

Every time I look at this thread, I picture all of the perpetrators in an old-fashioned museum diorama. Someone really needs to open a museum and build some -- Florida Man in his natural habitat.

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Mischievous
47of74
2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Every time I look at this thread, I picture all of the perpetrators in an old-fashioned museum diorama. Someone really needs to open a museum and build some -- Florida Man in his natural habitat.

They could start with this guy.

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While not illegal for an Olive Garden enthusiast to dine while “not wearing a shirt...and shoveling spaghetti into his mouth using his hands,” a Florida Man was collared Sunday after drunkenly causing a disturbance at the popular Italian food joint.

Cops allege that Ben Padgett, 32, badgered Olive Garden patrons for money and yelled "various expletives" inside the Naples hotspot. Padgett, who smelled of alcohol, was tucking into some pasta while seated on a bench outside the eatery when police arrived.

Padgett is being held in the Collier County jail in lieu of $3500. He has been ordered to stay away from Olive Garden (seen below), where you’re only considered family if you use utensils and wear a shirt.

 

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thoughtful

His mistake, of course, was doing that in the nice Olive Garden.

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front hugs > duggs

I didn't read the article to see if this was Florida Man™ 's fault, but this (morbidly) had me cracking up.... I think because of the photo they chose on CNN.com :

image.png.b1b41ffccdf3285912fdeea935662a52.png

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Mischievous
47of74

Florida Man decided to do a little song for his neighbor

Quote

A retiree was arrested after serenading a female neighbor with an original song that referred to her as a “bitch” and a “witch,” according to Florida court records.

Police say Robert Mirabella, 62, played guitar and sang his original composition last Saturday morning while on the front porch of a residence in Wildwood, a city that includes portions of The Villages, the sprawling retirement community.

According to an arrest report, the female victim told police that she was “having ongoing issues” with her next-door neighbors, whom she accused of harassment.

The woman said she was sitting on her front porch when Mirabella “started to play the guitar and sing on the front porch” of the neighboring home. The woman heard Mirabella croon, “There is a neighbor who was a bitch” and “I see her now, she’s just a witch.”

What a gentleman.  As the great Ouiser Boudreaux said, I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he drops a deuce in it.

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Ozlsn
On 4/15/2019 at 11:48 PM, front hugs > duggs said:

I didn't read the article to see if this was Florida Man™ 's fault, but this (morbidly) had me cracking up.... I think because of the photo they chose on CNN.com :

image.png.b1b41ffccdf3285912fdeea935662a52.png

From the article he did have experience keeping exotic animals so more accidental death than fault. (He fell somehow, cassowary(s? He had two) killed him while he was down. I have some issues with articles refering to the cassowarys as pets though - cassowarys don't do 'pet' and are fairly dangerous animals to keep.

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