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Nathan 3: "She loves me, she loves me not, she loves . . . "


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Excluding the eldest sons in both families, if I had to choose whether to hang out with the older Duggar or Bates guys, I would definitely choose the Duggars, by a mile. They seem much more pleasant and easy going. I can't stress enough how much that excludes Josh and Zach- the first one for obvious reasons and the second one because he actually seems rather nice.

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9 minutes ago, zcccrv said:

Excluding the eldest sons in both families, if I had to choose whether to hang out with the older Duggar or Bates guys, I would definitely choose the Duggars, by a mile. They seem much more pleasant and easy going. I can't stress enough how much that excludes Josh and Zach- the first one for obvious reasons and the second one because he actually seems rather nice.

The only guy in any of those families I would choose to know is Jeb Bates. He is the only one worth it.

Nathan has "I am a giant misogynist idiot" written all over his bitchy face.

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4 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

The only guy in any of those families I would choose to know is Jeb Bates. He is the only one worth it.

Nathan has "I am a giant misogynist idiot" written all over his bitchy face.

Has Judson aged out for you?

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13 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

The only guy in any of those families I would choose to know is Jeb Bates. He is the only one worth it.

Nathan has "I am a giant misogynist idiot" written all over his bitchy face.

Jeb is still a small child but he is said to be a Lawson mini-me, so probably will grow up as obnoxious.

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I can't say I follow the Bates much at all (although I'm branching out from Duggarville slowly), but what the heck is Nathan's deal with hair being short or worn up?  Does he just not like it, does he think it's sinful?  I can't imagine caring less about his feelings/opinions than I already do, but is there any actual "basis" for it?

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7 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I can't say I follow the Bates much at all (although I'm branching out from Duggarville slowly), but what the heck is Nathan's deal with hair being short or worn up?  Does he just not like it, does he think it's sinful?  I can't imagine caring less about his feelings/opinions than I already do, but is there any actual "basis" for it?

Absolutely. He flat out said something to Tori on the show about wearing an updo on your wedding day when she was planning her wedding. Something about how she’d regret it or it not being Godly or something. Tori, thankfully, did not seem to give a shit what he thought and looked lovely with her hair in an updo on her wedding day, but it really showed what kind of an asshole he is. 

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33 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Absolutely. He flat out said something to Tori on the show about wearing an updo on your wedding day when she was planning her wedding. Something about how she’d regret it or it not being Godly or something. Tori, thankfully, did not seem to give a shit what he thought and looked lovely with her hair in an updo on her wedding day, but it really showed what kind of an asshole he is. 

I don't remember the godly part, but he did say she would regret it and it looks bad--after Tori made it clear she had made up her mind. He was so weirdly impassioned about something I can't imagine my brother ever giving two shits about.

He also said *every* bride who wears her hair up regrets it. (Cause he's surveying brides' opinions of their look? Also didn't realize he had some much wedding planning experience...)I don't actually watch BuB, but saw a clip of it they'd posted. I can't find the full clip again, but there's a tiny part of it in this preview:

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I just think he has a long hair fetish, and he's using religion to excuse it.

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On 6/2/2019 at 10:18 AM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I can't say I follow the Bates much at all (although I'm branching out from Duggarville slowly), but what the heck is Nathan's deal with hair being short or worn up?  Does he just not like it, does he think it's sinful?  I can't imagine caring less about his feelings/opinions than I already do, but is there any actual "basis" for it?

It's a fundie thing. As usual, there is a scripture associated.

1 Corinthians 11:15 King James Version (KJV)

15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

For some fundie groups, the women use actual material/hats/caps to cover, but others believe keeping the hair long is sufficient. 

I know long hair as a positive standard is not fundie only, but it is truly a thing that seems to matter in the fundieverse.

Since you know Duggar happenings, you will see all but one wore her hair long/down for her wedding. I think in 2nd generation, it has become a subconscious thing, too = godly women wear their hair long. This is because, wearing hair down (mostly) is all they see and hear enforced.

 

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I wore my hair up at my wedding and I must say the choice haunts me every night in my dreams.

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I let people talk me into not wearing my hair up because “I would not like pictures of myself.” I wore it down and it was so hot all of my curls fell out. It looked terrible. I actually hate all of my wedding pictures anyway. I wish I would have done what I wanted and not listened to the Nathan’s in my life. 

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On ‎6‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 5:10 PM, nausicaa said:

I don't remember the godly part, but he did say she would regret it and it looks bad--after Tori made it clear she had made up her mind. He was so weirdly impassioned about something I can't imagine my brother ever giving two shits about.

He also said *every* bride who wears her hair up regrets it. (Cause he's surveying brides' opinions of their look? Also didn't realize he had some much wedding planning experience...)I don't actually watch BuB, but saw a clip of it they'd posted. I can't find the full clip again, but there's a tiny part of it in this preview:

It was really weird. He went on and on about like it was going to be the biggest mistake Tori ever made. Its hair. Who cares. Why did he care? I'm glad Tori ignored him. Then in a later episode he proudly says he's always completely honest with a woman and tell them they look like crap when he thinks they look like crap. I pity the poor woman who ends up with him. Ashley dodged a bullet.

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9 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I wore my hair up at my wedding and I must say the choice haunts me every night in my dreams.

My hair was too short to have an up option, so I guess I'm condemned to live the rest of my life without glory. ?‍♀️

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Now with all the talking about the married girls moving closer to home i was thinking of Nathan. It seems that despite being single he is rarely seen home. I dont know if he is living in the Phillipines most of the time or where but he seems pretty distanced from his family. He also doesnt have social media like all the other adult kids so its dificult to know what exactly he is doing, and when they talk about him they are always super vague.

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He's spent a lot of time in Texas as the ATI/Big Sandy airfield.  And prior to that was in Hattiesburg MS.  He teaches flying I think.  (correct me if I'm wrong on that)

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42 minutes ago, clueliss said:

He's spent a lot of time in Texas as the ATI/Big Sandy airfield.  And prior to that was in Hattiesburg MS.  He teaches flying I think.  (correct me if I'm wrong on that)

They must be pretty confident that he will not stray out of the cult to give gim so much freedom. I know purity its mostly for girls, but they dont exactly condone sex outside of marriage for guys either. 

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Well, when you consider his attitude I imagine most girls are running away as fast as they can.  I don't think staying pure is too hard for him.

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On 6/7/2019 at 1:48 PM, llucie said:

They must be pretty confident that he will not stray out of the cult to give gim so much freedom. I know purity its mostly for girls, but they dont exactly condone sex outside of marriage for guys either. 

If he is at Big Sandy, then he is right in the middle ATI. Plenty of ATI unmarrieds of both genders in their 20s have spent time working at headquarters.

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I think he's mostly in the Philippines right now. That's what they said in the last update about him. He's flying and learning to fly helicopters.  Plus, somehow helping to install a 911 system there?  And they had to add spreading the gospel there or whatever it is that he does.  They said he's also a paramedic.   

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On 6/3/2019 at 3:27 PM, HereticHick said:

I just think he has a long hair fetish, and he's using religion to excuse it.

But Tori is his sister ... that would be pretty disturbing. So why am I surprised? Sorry, move along!

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Nathan seems primarily focused on his career right now.  I wonder if he is the type who will find a woman at work that causes him to reevaluate some of his opinions on women. Because last time the show checked in on him, he still had ridiculous ideas about what women should be doing with their lives. He gets it from Gil. During one of the wedding IG stories Gil was overheard saying "normally, I don't like doing this women's work, but..." The video cut off at that moment. Couldn't hear him complete the thought. But yeah, they have these strong rules surrounding gender expectations that are not realistic. That may have worked during Nathan's parent's generation of fundies, but considering the first woman he attempted to court was what some call fundie lite, he may need to get with the 21st century before he can attract even a fundie woman.

Anyhow,  when he does court, I have a feeling his choice of partner will surprise us all. 

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He was also rude to Michaela about her wedding dress. He and Lawson, for some inexplicable reason, were included on the final dress scouting trip. Both seemed bored and annoyed by the process.

Lawson made mention that she should stop looking at other dresses once she found one that she wanted, as it just extended the process and made it harder to choose. Nathan was coming out with such quips as the dress she was wearing looked like a Grandma wedding dress Lawson chided him in the couch interview saying that he was not helping and to be nicer. That's when Nathan started saying that if a woman didn't look good he was going to tell her. Even Lawson was pretty much rolling his eyes at that while Trace looked like he thought they were both off their rockers. 

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On 6/2/2019 at 9:18 AM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

all (although I'm branching out from Duggarville slowly),

Batesville is the same swamp, same fetid sewage, just more attractive environs on the surface.

It’ll still give you metaphorical cholera.

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1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

He was also rude to Michaela about her wedding dress. He and Lawson, for some inexplicable reason, were included on the final dress scouting trip. Both seemed bored and annoyed by the process.

Lawson made mention that she should stop looking at other dresses once she found one that she wanted, as it just extended the process and made it harder to choose. Nathan was coming out with such quips as the dress she was wearing looked like a Grandma wedding dress Lawson chided him in the couch interview saying that he was not helping and to be nicer. That's when Nathan started saying that if a woman didn't look good he was going to tell her. Even Lawson was pretty much rolling his eyes at that while Trace looked like he thought they were both off their rockers. 

It actually is a good idea to stop looking at wedding dresses once you find one you like. Continuing to look can cause some women to overthink their first choice and have trouble deciding whether they want to keep it or get a new dress. That can work out really well for some Brides, including a poster here who got married about a year ago and went through this herself, but it can also end up being a costly choice to keep looking if you already purchased a dress and find another one. So I will say that Lawson at least had a point. A very small one, but still. Nathan was just an asshole.

(I can’t remember the circumstances of that specific example though, so I could be wrong and maybe she had a great reason to keep looking at that point.)

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@rebeccawriter01

I'd forgotten about his comment to Michael. I remember wondering why she included the guys on her trip. They complained almost the entire time including Gil making comments towards the very end. I can see Michael attempting to be diplomatic in allowing them to go along. I bet she regretted in the end. Her brothers were so annoying. Nathan was rude but disguised it as honesty. I can't tell if he is dumb blunt, mean- spirited or just plain bitter. But a little bit of kindness goes a long way especially during such a sensitive time as wedding planning. You'd think he'd know that by now. I still can't believe what he said in reference to Josie going gown shopping. Smh

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