Jazz Hands, Sparkle Crotch: Erika Schupe Pt. 9

[December]

3 hours ago, princessmahina said:

She told us to "elongate our top bottom."

That's a very ambiguous... euphemism? At least it sounds like it should be a euphemism, maybe for chest? 

5 hours ago, Jellybean said:

my mother in her fundie wisdom believes yoga to be demonic - does Erika believe the same?

She has made posts before on keeping fit, but I don't think yoga was ever mentioned (but too lazy to fact check). Can't believe she'd be in favor of it, though, from the clothing to the non-Christian spiritual aspects of it. 

[mango_fandango]

1 hour ago, December said:

That's a very ambiguous... euphemism? At least it sounds like it should be a euphemism, maybe for chest? 

She has made posts before on keeping fit, but I don't think yoga was ever mentioned (but too lazy to fact check). Can't believe she'd be in favor of it, though, from the clothing to the non-Christian spiritual aspects of it. 

She has stated before that she does work out on her elliptical in the garage, in a tank top and shorts or something, but since it's in the garage away from prying eyes as that's all she was able to do at that time, or something. This was written a few years ago, so don't know how/if things have changed.

[princessmahina]

The thing that I always found horrifying about her workout schedule was that she did a workout that she said made her "pour sweat," but didn't have a shower scheduled for afterward, or even that evening. I thought that was so gross. I always just shower after my workout. 

[ChairmanMeow]

No shower after a huge sweat? Fucking gross!

[alba]

The thing that I always found horrifying about her workout schedule was that she did a workout that she said made her "pour sweat," but didn't have a shower scheduled for afterward, or even that evening. I thought that was so gross. I always just shower after my workout. 

You know, with most people I'd assume the shower was a given and just not listed on the schedule because it's part of the workout block.

But most people don't micromanage their day like Erika does. No way would she have an unscheduled shower [emoji14]

[December]

10 hours ago, alba said:

But most people don't micromanage their day like Erika does. No way would she have an unscheduled shower

 

My thoughts exactly. It must've been a tough decision between adhering to the schedule or grabbing a shower. 

Even in school we had time scheduled to get a shower after gym class, surely Erika of all people can budget the time! 

[mango_fandango]

1 hour ago, December said:

My thoughts exactly. It must've been a tough decision between adhering to the schedule or grabbing a shower. 

Even in school we had time scheduled to get a shower after gym class, surely Erika of all people can budget the time! 

We never did at my school. We showered before and after swimming (well, not really proper showers) but that was it. It doesn't take long to shower- I can be done in about two minutes, slightly longer if I do my hair.

[Jellybean]

Sorry to bring my mother into this again, after so little reprieve, but she believes that sweat does not smell, and therefore it's not a problem not to shower/wash/rinse after exercise. I don't know if that's a fundie thing, or just a 'my mother' thing, but I thought I'd share...

[princessmahina]

19 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

Sorry to bring my mother into this again, after so little reprieve, but she believes that sweat does not smell, and therefore it's not a problem not to shower/wash/rinse after exercise. I don't know if that's a fundie thing, or just a 'my mother' thing, but I thought I'd share...

Oh, that's disgusting. I go to the gym pretty much every day and I know from personal experience that sweat has an unpleasant odor. Maybe not gag-worthy, but I wouldn't want to smell like that all day, or sleep like that.

Also, she may not have to worry about this, but if I don't shower soon after a workout, I get bacne. And chestne. And facene. Going without simply isn't an option.

[I love Pringles]

I'd never heard of his woman. Thanks to this thread I'm endlessly been entertained today.  I'm pouring over her stuff 

Also *whisper* I love Lilla rose flexi clips. My friend sells it and I ❤ them 

[mango_fandango]

2 hours ago, I love Pringles said:

I'd never heard of his woman. Thanks to this thread I'm endlessly been entertained today.  I'm pouring over her stuff 

Also *whisper* I love Lilla rose flexi clips. My friend sells it and I ❤ them 

Erika is one hell of a trip. Enjoy! If you need 'em I have some ferrets  

[mango_fandango]

Erika hasn't posted anything in ages. Last thing being a Lilla Rose thing on the 16th. I wonder if something is up in the Hamster Cage of Horrors. 

Of course, I'll say this, and come tomorrow there'll be a burst of activity with a few memes, a repost, and a link to the "aholyexperience" blog. Even when she's homeschooling she's usually got time to share a meme or just a quick snapshot or something.

[December]

33 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Erika hasn't posted anything in ages. Last thing being a Lilla Rose thing on the 16th. I wonder if something is up in the Hamster Cage of Horrors. 

Of course, I'll say this, and come tomorrow there'll be a burst of activity with a few memes, a repost, and a link to the "aholyexperience" blog. Even when she's homeschooling she's usually got time to share a meme or just a quick snapshot or something.

Hopefully something positive is happening, if there is anything. No reposts either is interesting, especially as I remember there's been quite a few reposts this summer. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

Karen has escaped. Bob has said "enough" and filed for divorce. Erika is *jazz hands* signing the paperwork and enrolling her kids in *government schools!* where Brandon will finally be treated for whatever condition he has.

Does someone want to call CPS again?

[defraudingjezebel]

8 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

Karen has escaped. Bob has said "enough" and filed for divorce. Erika is *jazz hands* signing the paperwork and enrolling her kids in *government schools!* where Brandon will finally be treated for whatever condition he has.

Does someone want to call CPS again?

Good Lord, I read the first two sentences of your post and I totally believed it. I immediately went to the LFoP FB page and... nope. I'm so gullible!!

I wonder if the prolonged silence is caused by the fact that Erika is even busier now that Karen is off working. That extra pair of helping hands is gone and while Anna Marie is definitely old enough to "help" (a.k.a. act like a nanny/housekeeper/second mother), Karen helped run the show for years! I bet Erika has her hands full. 

Or, I could be totally wrong and the relative silence on the blog/social media could be intentional. I'm just confused because she was fairly active on social media, even after purging many of her blog entries. But its been pretty quiet these last couple of months. I hope the silence is due to good things!

[princessmahina]

9 hours ago, defraudingjezebel said:

Good Lord, I read the first two sentences of your post and I totally believed it. I immediately went to the LFoP FB page and... nope. I'm so gullible!!

I wonder if the prolonged silence is caused by the fact that Erika is even busier now that Karen is off working. That extra pair of helping hands is gone and while Anna Marie is definitely old enough to "help" (a.k.a. act like a nanny/housekeeper/second mother), Karen helped run the show for years! I bet Erika has her hands full. 

Or, I could be totally wrong and the relative silence on the blog/social media could be intentional. I'm just confused because she was fairly active on social media, even after purging many of her blog entries. But its been pretty quiet these last couple of months. I hope the silence is due to good things!

Holy shit, I'm glad it's not just me that thought that was true for a minute!

[pancakes]

I can't believe people here are talking about this woman, I stumbled on her site awhile ago when searching around for info/reviews on washing machines for large families. She's a nut job. She has a whole thing written on how she keeps all her laundry done with this teeny tiny little laundry room and one basic washer. Does she have her kids taking round the clock laundry shifts or are they forced to wear the same clothes over and over without getting them dirty? I have one less kid than her and laundry is still a huge task with a gigantic machine plus a smaller one. 

Has anyone seen the passenger van with ever square inch organized? We have a big van too (but not an old, not so safe one like they're still using - seriously, your kids need headrests, it's all of $40 to have them retrofitted to the seats the non car seat kids are in!) and it's nothing like that craziness. Who wants to lug all that stuff around all the time? If she's reading this the disposable camera to record accident scenes isn't going to work after being left in a hot/cold car. 

Edited to add that I went back and looked at the laundry post again. She does eight loads of laundry per week. In that little machine. Less than one load per person per week? Are their sheets/blankets never washed? How is that possible? We do at least 10-15 big loads per week plus another 5-10 small loads. Are her kids only allotted a single pair of pants per week? So many questions.

[pancakes]

Not to be weird but I figured out exactly which washing machine she has. It's 3.5 cubic feet. That is not a big machine for a family that size. To put it in perspective her eight loads per week uses 28 cubic feet of washer capacity. The laundry I'm doing for a slightly smaller family uses, on average, 72.5 cubic feet of washer capacity. Something doesn't add up here. Either those kids are wearing clothes way longer than is healthy or she's doing more laundry than her schedule claims. 

Just had to add this: she has the exact same washing machine as the duggars. I went googling for pics of theirs to figure out how much laundry they're doing and it's the exact. same. machine.

[Jellybean]

3 hours ago, pancakes said:

[snip]

Edited to add that I went back and looked at the laundry post again. She does eight loads of laundry per week. In that little machine. Less than one load per person per week? Are their sheets/blankets never washed? How is that possible? We do at least 10-15 big loads per week plus another 5-10 small loads. Are her kids only allotted a single pair of pants per week? So many questions.

Eight loads of washing in a normal-sized machine per week?

I am utterly astounded by that. Thanks for bringing it to my attention, @pancakes (and welcome!)

My 'household' consists of two adults and a cat, and we can easily do five loads of washing every week:

1. Bedding: two single sheets, four pillowcases, one King-size duvet cover

2. Dark towels: 1 large bath towel, 1 microfibre gym towel, gym clothes, hand towel

3. Light towels: 1 large bath towel, hand towel, 5 kitchen dish towels, microfibre cleaning cloths, kitchen hand towels

4. Dark clothes

5. Light clothes

How on earth can a family with so many children manage to get away with so few washes? I know that some of the children are small and have small clothes, but small children often get messy and dirty, even without being allowed outside for proper messy play. And Karen and Melanie are essentially adults for the purpose of laundry calculation.

What about Bob's work clothes? He does messy, nasty clean-up work... And what about Erika's workout clothing? And... But... *splutter* *frown* 

I think I need to step away from this thread for a moment; maybe I should go and have a nice cup of hot coco. Sadly Erika seems to have corrected the spelling, but anyway, here is her recipe for delightful hot cocoa, heated in the microwaveable for your convenience.

@mango_fandango - you're our resident Shuperstar - can you offer any insight?

[alba]

How do you manage to fill the machine?!@Jellybean

Mr Alba and I do around 2 loads a week.

We do a generic clothes wash every weekend, because I purged my closet last month and now only have 5 t-shirts (previously we did this once a fortnight or so). We also include tea towels, hand towels and my microfibre hair towel in here, as well as workout clothes.

We also do bedding and bath towels, again always at the weekend so they can be hung outside.

Every ten days or so we do a hot wash and tumble dry for underwear, because I'm slightly neurotic about sterilising our pants and they absolutely mustn't go in a wash with hand towels (or worse, tea towels!), because that's gross.

And occasionally I'll toss our jumpers and cardigans in a woollen wash, but that's less than once a month.

The only one of those loads that even fills our standard British front-loader is the bedding/towels one; with everything else we run out of clothes before the machine fills up, so I would imagine we could add a third person to our household and only add another bedding wash each week.

[pancakes]

Our laundry looks like this. Our machine is huge and is still, to the best of my knowledge, the largest front loader on the market. There's also another, much smaller, washer that pulls out of the pedestal to wash delicates and other small loads.

my laundry - 1 regular load plus 2-3 small loads of delicate or wash alone items

the hubby - 1 regular load plus one regular load of work clothes, occasionally a delicate load

kids #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, & 8 - 1 regular load each except the youngest two are combined, we could combine more of the younger kids clothes to lessen this by 1-2 loads per week but the extra sorting makes it not worth it plus 2-3 small loads of random really dirty clothes that I want washed separately 

kitchen towels and cleaning rags - 1-2 regular loads, some weeks are one load while some we do deeper cleaning and use more rags

bath towels, hand towels, and washcloths - 1 load per week

king size sheets - 1 regular load per week plus two extra loads for the blankets every other week, they're washed frequently because the kids climb on the bedspread and it gets dirty

twin size sheets and blankets from seven twin beds - all the sheets fit in 1 load weekly plus 2 extra loads every two weeks for all the blankets, mattress pads are washed every month or as needed and take up 4 full loads

crib bedding - small so it's tossed in with whatever kids bedding load it will fit in

misc. - car seat covers, sports uniforms and practice clothes, dress clothes, tablecloths for special occasions, throw blankets, and so on; another 2-3 loads per week on average but this varies quite a bit, washing all the car seat covers alone is five loads

i had been thinking it was 10-15 loads total but I think it's more like 15-17 plus extra linens a few times each month as well as extra loads for things that aren't washed frequently. That makes her 8 small loads of laundry each week all that much more improbable. 

[mango_fandango]

Well, hmm. How many items of clothing do you all have? As in per person? Erika said somewhere (not entirely sure where) that each kid has a limited number of clothing items. 

OK!! I found her list of how many items of clothing her kids have! Taken from a reply to a comment on the post about rotating kids clothes. It's from 2012 so things may have changed but still:

* long sleeved shirts - about 8 for one person

* short sleeved - same
* boys jeans - about 3-4 pair (one pair kept nice for going out; not for the back yard)
* boys sweat pants - about 3-4
* boys shorts - about 5-8
* girls dresses/skirts - 12 at the most
*church pants boys - 1 pair beige slacks that goes with all their shirts
* boys church shirts - 6 or so
* girls church clothes - maybe 6 outfits
*underwear - one package of 6 pair is plenty
*socks - depends on how often you leave the house.

I'll leave it to you guys to discuss.

Personally, I guess I'm relatively gross compared to you guys. As a student in a private student housing block (but like halls except not owned by the uni but a private company), I have a laundry room, and it costs money to do laundry. Bit like using a laundromat. Therefore I tend to only use the washing machine when I have no clothes left (except what I'm wearing that day) so I spend as little money as possible on washing. For the same reason I don't wash bedclothes much either. I have no idea how often my parents do washing. Mum does her stuff and my brother's (he is 17 but hasn't really learnt to use the machine yet, actually IDK if he has- he'll learn before uni), Dad does his stuff, I do mine. Yeah I guess we may not do it as frequently as some but we do OK as we are. Things may be different when I move out and have my own kids of course. 

[Anonymousguest]

When was the post about the 8 loads of wash dated? It's possible she did not have the twins yet, so was just 7 small kids. That's still not much, but with a limited wardrobe and not washing towels or bedding often... maybe?

I'm not organized enough to tell you how many loads are done here a week, but I have 2 washers, a regular old fashioned water guzzler and an he front loader. Both are used almost daily, and I have 3 fewer people in my house hold now that she does, but most are full sized people, not little kids. 

[slickcat79]

Remember the part where she said that they basically can't use their yard for 9 months out of the year because mud? Those kids are not allowed to get dirty on a regular basis. 

That clothing breakdown is a little strange. Only one pair of nice pants, but 6 shirts to go with? And 6 underwear seems a little skimpy for littles who apparently have frequent accidents 

[Anonymousguest]

I just noticed it's only 6 pairs of underwear. Don't you need at least 7 if you are washing only once a week? 8 to give yourself a more comfortable cushion if something comes up and you don't get to it that day? 

Only 6 pairs of underwear but 8 shirts? 16 really. Id rather re wear a shirt than unders.