Sister Wives: 4 Wives, 4 Threads - It's Karma!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

I didn't think that Mariah was being a brat, I think that her parents are being brats. Kody neglected Meri and she chose to find someone else who flattered her. She made a mistake and continued to despite Mariah's warnings. Mariah told her what was happening and she chose to completely ignore it. They may have been "preyed on" but the warning signs were there, they were just completely ignored. 

Meri had a very serious emotional affair, Kody is caught up in his own problems; these are the parents that Mariah is supposed to depend on to help her find her way. I don't blame the poor girl for being upset, her parents are acting more childish than most children. They both pout and sulk, thinking that they will get their way. It's not fair to Mariah. 

This what I'm talking about, not many people are realizing just how hard things have been for Meri. She's just supposed to sit back and wait for anyone who wants to spend time with her to spare a few minutes for her. Having Mariah graduate and leave for school was VERY traumitc for Meri, the last 18 years of her life were focused on this only child she was able to have and now she's gone. Add to that the other crap going on with her "husband" and his wives and she really is on her own watching a family from the outside. I have 1 kid a year younger than Mariah and another a few years younger. It is a weird faze of life to be in. 

IMO Meri went looking for a friend, and got manipulated. Yes Mariah told her she was being cat fished, I'm guessing Meri didn't want to think she could be fooled like that, who would.  I'm not saying Meri doesn't have any blame, she does a lot of it, however, this is between her and Kody, not her and Mariah. Its been a year since the cat fishing, and Mariah is almost rubbing it in Meri's face that she made a mistake and she was right and now she is going to punish her mom until god knows when.  Meri has apologized, asked what she needs, to make it better and it seems to me that Mariah, just wants to be mad, blame her mom for everything and make her mom suffer even more than she already is.  It almost seems to be that she's pissed that her mom didn't do what SHE told her to do so know she's going to make her pay for it.  I'm with Meri, Mariah, needs to get the hell over it already. Mariah has been mad longer than Meri was being catfished. The punishment seems to not fit the crime.  

Lastly I really do think Meri needs to bail on this 'marriage" move on, be single, and find a husband that will just want to be with HER, I don't think she's really into the plural marriage, and I'm not sure she ever was. Her relation ship with Janelle that has always been tense at best, and her phony closeness with Robin, and tolerance of Kristine just seems to tell me that she didn't want this the way Kody did. Janelle Kristine & Robin seem to be able to handle this so much better, and I really think adding Robin into the mix was a HUGE mistake. Kody was barely holding on with 3 wives and 13 kids, now he's got 4 wives and 18 kids he's spread to thin and someone is going to have to suffer and that is Meri, and I think Janelle a little bit, but Janelle seems much less upset by this, I imagine her career and her huge brood of kids has a lot to do with it.  It will be interesting to see where she is once all her kids are grown and out of her house. 

[mstee]

The whole catfish thing was so painfully obvious. I follow Meri on twitter, and I remember seeing her chatting with that notbatmanyet (I think that was the name) a ton. I was curious who this guy was and clicked on his page. I browsed around for a minute and thought "I wonder if Meri knows she's talking to a fake person". So if I could spot that, then I can't imagine the frustration Mariah felt having to tell her mom over and over that this was not a real person, only to have her mom not believe here till the shit hit the fan. 

[Flossie]

Meri believed because she desperately wanted to believe.

It's terribly frustrating to deal with someone who refuses to acknowledge reality, even more difficult when you can't understand why the person in question doesn't want to know the truth.  I can easily see why Meri put her faith in a fantasy because I could see how Meri's real life was getting worse for her over time and she felt trapped.  Mariah is younger and she loved growing up in the plyg life, so she couldn't empathize with her mom.

Now that the truth is out and Meri is refusing to own up to what happened, Mariah is even more frustrated.  At least Mariah is young and spends time away from her toxic family, so she has a chance at growing more perspective over time.  I'm afraid the adults are digging in their heels and refusing to change.

[frugaldreams]

I feel like someone needs to take Meri to a Co-Dependents Anonymous meeting. 

[Coconut Flan]

It is so not what actually happens for infidelity to only be between the couple.  It affects the entire family.  It tears apart the fabric of stability that children (even legally adult if not fully formed yet adults) think they have.  It's absolute proof that the stability is gone and most likely the child involved will never get it back.  It will more than likely color Mariah's view of relationships the rest of her life even if she gets therapy.  In my opinion it probably happened at about the worst time and for her mother to drag her into it in any way just makes it so much worse.  Especially with Mariah recognizing the person was a fake and Meri refusing to fully acknowledge things and instead wanting Mariah to just forget it, this is going to take years if not decades to "get over" and my guess it will always color Mariah's view of her mother with flashbacks of it showing up at unexpected times.  Plus Meri had better never try to give Mariah relationship advice.  That will not go well. 

[Carm_88]

The thing that bothers me is that no one is forcing Meri to stay. If things were bad enough that she considered having an on the side boyfriend who was a catfish, just leave. Honestly, at this point I think Meri saying "I want out" before the catfish situation would have been easier on Mariah. She wouldn't have had to deal with this bullshit. Sure Kody would have pouted and Meri would have whined but it would be a lot easier than what is going on now. 

[apandaaries]

29 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

The thing that bothers me is that no one is forcing Meri to stay. If things were bad enough that she considered having an on the side boyfriend who was a catfish, just leave. Honestly, at this point I think Meri saying "I want out" before the catfish situation would have been easier on Mariah. She wouldn't have had to deal with this bullshit. Sure Kody would have pouted and Meri would have whined but it would be a lot easier than what is going on now. 

Ah, but then her soul would be flung into Outer Darkness, where she would languish for time and all eternity.  If she had a man to cling to, perhaps her soul would be secure in the afterlife, but if she rejects Kody outright, she risks him rejecting her in the afterlife and not calling her soul through the veil.  I think an enormous part of their suffering is due to the rather outrageous beliefs they were taught.   Divorce is sort of vaguely okay, but only if one finds a man quickly enough -- and preferably a man willing to take on her child/ren, as we saw with Robyn and the very weird erasure of the first part of her first brood's biological father.

Their religion has a really long term view and an entire, well-developed map of the afterlife.  That's part of why they seem to revel in the struggle, I think.  A lot of polygamist books will talk about how polygamy refines the soul and cleanses it of jealousy, etc -- even if the reality shows that that does not occur (does make for a good line for a patriarch to spout, though, and then places all the blame for all the issues right back on the women and children).  Everyone is probably working on understanding how Meri struggled, but how she rediscovered her place by Kody's side, and now everyone should move on and bring her back into the fold.  She'll always be important to Kody as first wife (though no longer legally, it's still the spiritual aspect that counts) and as one of his wives (since he's so narcissistic).  Some sects teach that a man has to have a quorum of wives (the number I usually read is 7) to reach the highest levels of heaven.  Kody still needs her to support his vision as a grand patriarch.  I wouldn't be surprised if he had his heart set on a quorum of wives, though the rocky inclusion of Robyn may have brought him closer to earth...but I still wonder.  We'll have to see what happens as her fertility wanes, as it will inevitably do.  

Of all the families we snark on, I'm betting on a tell-all from one of the Browns before any of the others.  They may be fairly tight-knit, but there's also a lot of jealousy and never quite enough time for all those kids (though Christine always tried valiantly to provide that for everyone before).  They've also been exposed to broader society and secular education.   One or two breaking away and making money off their lives (as they learned from dear ol' dad) would not be especially surprising to me, though I expect such an occurrence years from now, after they're off the reality TV circuit.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I'm going to continue to defend Mariah. Her mother had an emotional affair right in front of her. Had the catfish been real, Meri's ass would have been out the door. There is no doubt that Mariah is fully aware of that. I haven't seen Meri fully take responsibility for her actions, she has skated around what she was doing and focused on her being a victim of being catfished. Now, she wants Mariah to just rug sweep and be happy. Keep sweet. 

 

Fuck. That. Good for Mariah for actually feeling her emotions, expressing them and not being bullied to choke them down and keep sweet. The rest of those women need to take a page out of Mariah's book.  Maybe then, they would actually be happy instead of just pretending.  

[IreneIssh]

59 minutes ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

I'm going to continue to defend Mariah. Her mother had an emotional affair right in front of her. Had the catfish been real, Meri's ass would have been out the door. There is no doubt that Mariah is fully aware of that. I haven't seen Meri fully take responsibility for her actions, she has skated around what she was doing and focused on her being a victim of being catfished. Now, she wants Mariah to just rug sweep and be happy. Keep sweet. 

 

Fuck. That. Good for Mariah for actually feeling her emotions, expressing them and not being bullied to choke them down and keep sweet. The rest of those women need to take a page out of Mariah's book.  Maybe then, they would actually be happy instead of just pretending.  

I'm so glad that so many people on FJ agreen with me on this. People on Twitter were brutal to Mariah when the last episode aired. So much so that I actually tweeted her to say some thing positive. 

I had some uncomfortable conflict with my alcoholic Mother earlier this year, and when I told her to give me space,  she called or texted me everyday, several times a day, even when I was at work. Sometimes it was messages of I'm sorry and sometimes really mean stuff.

Its not exactly the same, I saw a lot of similarities between my situation and Mariah's this week, at least in how they both handled conflict. I think Mariah asked Meri to give her space, and she just wouldn't. And when my mom did that, it made me realize how little she respected my feelings and the boundaries I had drawn, which made me even more upset and less willing to talk to her. From what Mariah said, Meri hasn't respected her boundaries and keeps demanding forgiveness and respect when she isn't giving it to Mariah in return.  

Mariah hasn't handled the situation perfectly at all, but if Meri would give her the space she needed to process stuff and come to her own conclusions about it without any outside pressure, Mariah would probably be more willing to work this out.

I'm sure she's been Meri's primary confidante most of her life, which is incredibly inappropriate and a lot of pressure to put on her only child. Mariah doesn't deserve to be called a brat. But, honestly they should not be sussing this all out on TV. I can't imagine the horrible things all of them have heard from people online. I think the only reason they're still on at all is because they have four freaking mortgages to pay. 

[Carm_88]

Mariah hasn't handled the situation perfectly at all, but if Meri would give her the space she needed to process stuff and come to her own conclusions about it without any outside pressure, Mariah would probably be more willing to work this out.

Mariah definitely hasn't handle this situation perfectly. But what is she supposed to do? Go into the bookstore and look under self help and find the "My Mom has been catfished and refuses to really admit it and it's screwing with my dad, me, his other three wives and the rest of our family." No I don't think there is a good way to deal with this situation. She needs time to heal.
Which her parents should get!

[IreneIssh]

Happened across Mykelti's twitter today. She seems to be responding fiercely to all the Twitter folks raggin' on her and Tony.

I know it sucks, but she should probably just get off of twitter while these episodes air.

[SweetLaurel]

A friend started  on line dating an engineer  from TX, who was sadly stuck in Nigeria.   Her husband had just passed away and I have no clue what words he used but when we - her friends - were screaming Scammer,  she was saying, you don't know what we say when we're alone.   Via yahoo messenger alone....   Nothing we could say convinced her.    So this rich engineer can only borrow money from one person in the world - a Walmart cashier he's known a month?   His mommy won't give him plane money home?  He has no friends?  His work?  They won't let him out of the hospital till he pays his bill?  Look at the laws - its not true.    Oh look - his one picture he sent is on a scammer site!  Oh - his ex put it on there?  So naughty of her.   LOOK - the nice words he says to you were the same ones said to other people who've been scammed.   Means nothing?

Anyway - 7 years later, after losing all her savings and her house, she still kinda thinks he was real and we were all just mean disbelievers.   

Hurting people grasp for straws.   Its hard to say sorry when you really don't think you did anything wrong..   Meri might think she gave up her great and only chance for love for her eternal soul or some such crap.   If she ever - and I'm sure she does - checks out the Notbatmanyet site -  the scammer has sure kept up the facade a long time.   It has to niggle at her that, what if it was real....what if.....   not like she has it any better now than she did when she went looking.  

[JoyfulSel]

3 hours ago, IreneIssh said:

Happened across Mykelti's twitter today. She seems to be responding fiercely to all the Twitter folks raggin' on her and Tony.

I know it sucks, but she should probably just get off of twitter while these episodes air.

Wow, she was really typing furiously at people. Interesting that she mentions Tony is a banker and studying finance - I had also been wondering what Tony did for a living or if he was in school.

What really bothered me about Kody and Tony's conversation was that stupid line "You waited 21 years to have sex, you can wait six more months!" Kody having any discussion regarding his daughter's sexual life is disturbing to me, especially on national tv. Why haven't we seen Kody ask about future plans, what they love about each other, etc.? Instead, he is so focused on keeping his daughter 'pure' that he's bargaining/compromising a wedding date. It is all just so odd.

It's funny when he has purity talks with Mykelti but we never saw that regarding Logan.

[Coconut Flan]

Mykelti's and Tony's wedding registry: https://registry.theknot.com/mykelti-brown-antonio-padron-december-2016-ut/15992550

It has some interesting items.

[JoyfulSel]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

Mykelti's and Tony's wedding registry: https://registry.theknot.com/mykelti-brown-antonio-padron-december-2016-ut/15992550

It has some interesting items.

Bananagrams? What is that?

Edit, never mind I found it - it's some sort of crossword game. Almost $15 for that?!

[SummerRocks]

So I see on instagram that Meri is selling clothes online now (LuLaRoe - which means nothing to me, maybe it is a famous brand and I am just clueless?) 

Even though there are only 50 pictures on her instagram, the first one posted 9 weeks ago, I am surprised by how many people she seems to be meeting outside of the family. Good for her! She needs to be amongst people to socialize and not trying to get her emotional needs met by strangers she meets online. 

[Coconut Flan]

It's another MLM scheme. 

[ChunkyBarbie]

8 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

A friend started  on line dating an engineer  from TX, who was sadly stuck in Nigeria.   Her husband had just passed away and I have no clue what words he used but when we - her friends - were screaming Scammer,  she was saying, you don't know what we say when we're alone.   Via yahoo messenger alone....   Nothing we could say convinced her.    So this rich engineer can only borrow money from one person in the world - a Walmart cashier he's known a month?   His mommy won't give him plane money home?  He has no friends?  His work?  They won't let him out of the hospital till he pays his bill?  Look at the laws - its not true.    Oh look - his one picture he sent is on a scammer site!  Oh - his ex put it on there?  So naughty of her.   LOOK - the nice words he says to you were the same ones said to other people who've been scammed.   Means nothing?

Anyway - 7 years later, after losing all her savings and her house, she still kinda thinks he was real and we were all just mean disbelievers.   

Hurting people grasp for straws.   Its hard to say sorry when you really don't think you did anything wrong..   Meri might think she gave up her great and only chance for love for her eternal soul or some such crap.   If she ever - and I'm sure she does - checks out the Notbatmanyet site -  the scammer has sure kept up the facade a long time.   It has to niggle at her that, what if it was real....what if.....   not like she has it any better now than she did when she went looking.  

When you are already married, you don't have an emotional affair and involve your daughter. My problem isn't that Meri had an emotional affair, I get it, I don't agree with it, but I can see how she fell into it. My problem is she involved her daughter in the mess. Meri was having an emotional affair, cheating on her husband and she involved THEIR CHILD; and wants their child to get over it on Meri's timeline. That there is a nasty pile of BS.  ETA I am sorry about your friend. Cat fishing is horrible. 

[MarblesMom]

1 hour ago, SummerRocks said:

(LuLaRoe - which means nothing to me, maybe it is a famous brand and I am just clueless?) 

 

42 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

It's another MLM scheme. 

It is a leggings company - yes, MLM (the bane of humanity).  What is it with the folks we follow and the damned MLM schemes?!

Cousin swears she will never wear pants again after getting these leggings.  Um, I cannot imagine NOT wearing pants ('specially in public/work/church) and living in leggings, regardless of where they came from.

Apparently, the MLM leggings only come in two sizes, which sounds punitive from the get-go.  Most of us have a hard time finding clothes that fit with general sizes ranging from 0 - 28.  

 

[IreneIssh]

15 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

 

It is a leggings company - yes, MLM (the bane of humanity).  What is it with the folks we follow and the damned MLM schemes?!

Cousin swears she will never wear pants again after getting these leggings.  Um, I cannot imagine NOT wearing pants ('specially in public/work/church) and living in leggings, regardless of where they came from.

Apparently, the MLM leggings only come in two sizes, which sounds punitive from the get-go.  Most of us have a hard time finding clothes that fit with general size ranging from 0 - 28.  

 

Damn! Only two sizes? I know almost nothing about this LuLaRoe other than people on Facebook keep inviting me to their ugly leggings parties. I don't understand the appeal.  The patterns are often awkward and unflattering. 

[CrazyCatLady]

Damn! Only two sizes? I know almost nothing about this LuLaRoe other than people on Facebook keep inviting me to their ugly leggings parties. I don't understand the appeal.  The patterns are often awkward and unflattering. 

Seems like everyone I know is selling these. I'm not a fan.

[DaniLouisiana]

I would really like to see at least some of the blame for Meri's catfish fiasco to land squarely on Kody's douchey head. If Meri hadn't felt quite so neglected, she wouldn't have been so easy a target. Not that I'm absolving her...just some of it is Kody's fault.

[vspielman]

9 hours ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

My problem is she involved her daughter in the mess. Meri was having an emotional affair, cheating on her husband and she involved THEIR CHILD; and wants their child to get over it on Meri's timeline.

Thank you!  I know at my house, my marriage (and all that might entail)  is mine and hubby's business.  Our child is not/was never involved except as....the product of the union and not an interested party.  I just don't get all this new fangled, let's be our kid's friend, nonsense.  This whole thing makes me ill.

[Carm_88]

21 hours ago, DaniLouisiana said:

I would really like to see at least some of the blame for Meri's catfish fiasco to land squarely on Kody's douchey head. If Meri hadn't felt quite so neglected, she wouldn't have been so easy a target. Not that I'm absolving her...just some of it is Kody's fault.

Sure it should land on both of them. I do think that Meri does like to be a martyr though. "I only have one child, so you are stiffing me..." "I am nice enough to get a divorce..." So on and so forth. I feel bad that she was suckered but that's about it. She's well on the pity wagon herself. 

[StepMonsterInLA]

A couple of thoughts:

Kody said to Meri in the first episode something like you told me to stop coming around. 

Meri has issues with many members of her family, and she continues to create problems in her relationships.

I fault her for creating a disaster and then acting like a victim and not accepting responsibility.