Today is Jesse Maxwell's birthday - he is 17.

[Justme]

I guess he'll graduate in the spring.

[skankbiscuit]

I always refer to Jesse as the "forgotten Maxwell". I'm always "Jesse who? when he is mentioned :lol:

[clibbyjo]

I hope he gets 3 animal crackers!

[FloraDoraDolly]

It's the birthdays that really show how much these kids are missing. No friends, no girlfriend, no tickets to a sporting event or a rock concert or even a cheesy Sherwood Baptist movie.

[clibbyjo]

It's the birthdays that really show how much these kids are missing. No friends, no girlfriend, no tickets to a sporting event or a rock concert or even a cheesy Sherwood Baptist movie.

Hey now, its Sunday! He got to spend his b-day with the ELDERLY at the nursing home church! Are you saying that is not the dream of all 17 year old boys?

[fundiefan]

Another life that was sucked out for 17 years. I don't see that as something to celebrate.

[SamuraiKatz]

Hey now, its Sunday! He got to spend his b-day with the ELDERLY at the nursing home church! Are you saying that is not the dream of all 17 year old boys?

At least he got a trip to St. Louis this weekend. Even if it was to do a conference...Hopefully they had time to do something special while they were there.

[Guest Anonymous]

The youngest Maxwell boy has turned 17. http://www.titus2.com/blog/index.php/20 ... /#comments

It's his first birthday at home in years. I do hope he has been a good boy for his Mama, because she tells here how she punishes her children by cutting back on the celebrations if they are too 'self-focused' in anticipation of the day...: http://www.titus2.com/corners/4-09-m.htm

edited to fix wrong link.

[kpmom]

Boy, being a Maxwell is certainly a lesson in humility, isn't it? "What? It's my birthday? Oh I'd completely forgotten".

"Burritos? Why no, I don't love them and think about them every. day. of. my. life.".

"Oh this musical instrument? No I don't love, love, love playing it. It just looks like I do. Please don't tell my dad you think I love it more than Jesus because I DON"T!".

"Pepsi? Well, I'll have one if you insist, but honestly I hardly even like it.".

[Patsy]

I think the second link is the same as the first. I would be curious to read about what Teri wrote about withholding birthday celebrations.

[TMS]

titus2.com/corners/4-09-m.htm

The whole mentality of children's birthday parties is quite the opposite of any denying of self because it is actually feeding self. After just a few birthday parties, we realized we didn't want to continue fueling this amount of selfishness, and we simply said we would only have family birthday parties in the future.

That decision was made about twenty-five years ago, so our younger children have never experienced having a birthday party or attending one either.

Wow, the reversal kids never got a chance to attend a birthday party, or have friends over for their own birthday celebration. :( OK, and then this....

There are times when we pull back some of the privileges that normally attend a child's birthday because by his pre-birthday talk we can see a self-focus growing. However, in general, we believe the level of birthday celebration we have settled into has helped to build our family unity while not fueling our children's natural propensity to selfishness.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sorry, I have fixed the link now http://www.titus2.com/corners/4-09-m.htm :D

[Guest Anonymous]

I think it is strikingly sad that once the 'birthday policy' was fixed, all invitations to friends' parties were also refused.

[saraelise]

So, they deny themselves and their kids any sort of fun in the name of pleasing god? Why would god be pleased with people who constantly deny themselves everything they secretly enjoy?

They are just so weird to me :roll:

[gardenvarietycitizen]

...though when it comes to the younger kids, do they even really HAVE friends outside of the family? (I wonder what would happen if a kid's birthday happened to fall on a day when one of the other families they "fellowship" with was in town. Would the Maxwells postpone the birthday dinner?)

Had to be hard on the older ones though, who remember a different life.

Sometimes I can't decide which is creepier, thinking about the older kids who at least dimly remember some other life (Sarah wore pants in the 80's as a young girl, and the two older boys played sports) or the reversal kids who know no other life at all. Particularly Mary, she's only 15, born in 1996, she can't possibly remember a time when the family wasn't all home together every day doing every activity as a family, 100% of the time.

Apparently the goal is to have absolutely no concept of self at all. No individual likes or dislikes, no thinking about your own happiness or just enjoying something for its own sake. Creepy.

There's something to be said for being a generous person who puts others first and steps back, but the Maxwells go to such extremes that there's nothing left inside anymore.

[fundiefan]

So sad. A birthday is one day a year when it is acceptable for a kid to be selfish. Not having tantrums to get presents selfish, but to know that he or she is very special and important.

The life they sucked out of their kids to create their idea of 'family' is rather disgusting.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

...and so I can't help but wondering too, do the parents think the younger kids who have known no other lifestyle are somehow better, more their true effort? That the older ones are in a sense slightly tainted?

You can read on some BT forums some people waxing on about how they're jealous of their own kids who never have known anything at all secular (because when the author found religion, the author went WAY to the most right-wing restrictive sects possible) or some people who made the journey to extreme religion when they already had some kids, so while all the kids were raised religious, the older ones still had contact with the secular world and subjects, went to more modern schools, etc.

All I can say is, it fascinates me (why I'm here, I guess! :D) but wow, am I glad it's not me.

[lilwriter85]

...though when it comes to the younger kids, do they even really HAVE friends outside of the family? (I wonder what would happen if a kid's birthday happened to fall on a day when one of the other families they "fellowship" with was in town. Would the Maxwells postpone the birthday dinner?)

Had to be hard on the older ones though, who remember a different life.

Sometimes I can't decide which is creepier, thinking about the older kids who at least dimly remember some other life (Sarah wore pants in the 80's as a young girl, and the two older boys played sports) or the reversal kids who know no other life at all. Particularly Mary, she's only 15, born in 1996, she can't possibly remember a time when the family wasn't all home together every day doing every activity as a family, 100% of the time.

Apparently the goal is to have absolutely no concept of self at all. No individual likes or dislikes, no thinking about your own happiness or just enjoying something for its own sake. Creepy.

There's something to be said for being a generous person who puts others first and steps back, but the Maxwells go to such extremes that there's nothing left inside anymore.

I think it was mentioned in another thread that the Maxwells are the type of fundie family that are friends with other fundie families. I think the kids probably don't have friends that aren't connected to the entire family.

[fundiefan]

Nope. The kids (even the adult ones) do not have any friends of their own on any kind of personal or individual basis. All 'friends' are family friends. And, I think they always have to be in groups with other people - didn't someone who knew them say that whenever one of the kidlets was with a kidlet of another family they always had to accompanied by a sibling to be held accountable? Can't have much a friendship, in the valid, useful sense of the word, if you can't have a private conversation. And, you can't have a private conversation if one of your siblings is required to be present all the time.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Kind of reminds me of the Duggar kids spoof on Josh/Anna's engagement where they tell the waitress--it's her birthday let her have a lemon slice in her water!

Run, Jesse!!!! Just walk out the front door and don't stop running.

[Guest Anonymous]

It looks like at the time the policy was introduced, there was an abrupt end to the Maxwell children being allowed to attend other's parties. Can you imagine being , say, 8 years old and having to say, "I'm sorry I can't come to your birthday party because my daddy has heard from God that we won't be inviting friends any more to birthday parties in our house and so he doesn't think it is fair for us to come to yours...."

Run, Sarah, Run!!!! :shock:

[slickcat79]

So...Steve goes through all the hassle of having a vasectomy reversal so that he can add more arrows to his quiver. Teri suffers years of postpartum depression associated with bringing more babies into the world. But they can't celebrate the days when their little warriors for god entered the family? WTF kind of mentality is that? Even if they're only celebrating their own choices or giving glory to god or however they justify it, I can't understand deliberately not having any sort of party, ever :?

[FloraDoraDolly]

...though when it comes to the younger kids, do they even really HAVE friends outside of the family? (I wonder what would happen if a kid's birthday happened to fall on a day when one of the other families they "fellowship" with was in town. Would the Maxwells postpone the birthday dinner?)

Had to be hard on the older ones though, who remember a different life.

Sometimes I can't decide which is creepier, thinking about the older kids who at least dimly remember some other life (Sarah wore pants in the 80's as a young girl, and the two older boys played sports) or the reversal kids who know no other life at all. Particularly Mary, she's only 15, born in 1996, she can't possibly remember a time when the family wasn't all home together every day doing every activity as a family, 100% of the time.

Apparently the goal is to have absolutely no concept of self at all. No individual likes or dislikes, no thinking about your own happiness or just enjoying something for its own sake. Creepy.

There's something to be said for being a generous person who puts others first and steps back, but the Maxwells go to such extremes that there's nothing left inside anymore.

I've read the Maxwells' book "Keeping Our Children's Hearts." (Bought used on Amazon.) The end of the book contains testimonies by the three oldest Maxwell kids, who were in their early 20s at the time. In her testimony, Sarah wrote that she was allowed to play with neighborhood children when she was younger and that she'd even attended a sleepover. But she said she has negative memories of these experiences and she's glad that her younger siblings have never done sleepovers or played with neighborhood friends. Also, I have read Sarah's Moody series and the Moody children NEVER play with other children their own age.

It's a sad way to raise kids. :(

[FloraDoraDolly]

I found this online review of "Keeping Your Children's Hearts" and I thought y'all might be interested in reading it.

http://ramblingprophet.blogspot.com/200 ... drens.html

The Maxwells also advocate an isolationist approach that is separationist and even monkish in its ideal. I addressed this approach in the comment stream of this post and found agreement that isolationism can be as unhealthy for children as outright exposure to all manner of evil.

[FloraDoraDolly]

At least he got a trip to St. Louis this weekend. Even if it was to do a conference...Hopefully they had time to do something special while they were there.

Going on trips, having frequent changes in scenery, and getting to interact with people at conferences is probably what keeps these kids sane.