Lady Lydia wants a booth at career day

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

17 hours ago, Howl said:

One commenter noted that a girl getting an education to be prepared in case the husband is killed or dies or leaves is just a set up for not totally trusting the Lord.  

Yesterday I read here on FJ about a woman (Mormon blogger) who is now a widow with 5 very young children; her husband passed away from melanoma on Wednesday.  

Depriving a girl (or boy!) of education and aspirations is criminal.  

 

 

 

The best statement I have ever heard in this topic was from the wife of a very successful (and devoutly Mormon) CEO. In regards to young women being educated she said that there are different seasons of life (sound like anyone we know?) and that circumstances and people may come and go in your future, but that one thing that WILL be in your future is you. So no matter how much her daughters wanted to marry and have babies young, she and her husband made each girl get a bachelor's degree in an employable field. Because babies do grow up, husbands may die, become disabled, or leave, and you need to be able to cover your own ass out there in the world. I thought it was a wonderful piece of advice. 

Which is why I get so angry when I see these children not being given the tools to control their own destiny in life. 

[Georgiana]

I love to shop vintage books, and there is fortunately an amazing store near me where I was able to find a book entitled Beauty: a Duty published in 1908.  

It contains a lot of very fun things (like a SHOCKING and NEWFANGLED idea that one should actually change stockings and undergarments regularly), but one of the things that stands out is how much LONGER everything took back then.

You want to bathe regularly, chances are very good you need to spend time heating the water.  You might need to make soap OR take time to run to a store for soap (not as easy then for many as it is today).  You might not have a specific "bath room", so you might need to move the tub in/out of a room.  Then you need to dispose of the dirty water, clean the tub, and move it back.  All this, JUST for a bath.

So yes, Lydia, back in the day keeping yourself, your home, and your clothes nothing more than clean was a full-time job, even if you didn't have kids.  But now it isn't.  I have hot water piped in my house.  I have a bath room.  If I need soap, the store is <5 minutes away OR I can order it on Amazon in .2 seconds.  I don't need to spend all day washing clothes or beating rugs because I have a washing machine and a vacuum.  I don't have to spend an hour prepping the stove/oven to be right for cooking.  I can just turn it on.  

For many households even WITH kids, there just isn't a full week of work in the house anymore.  So sure, they could invent things to do that have never needed to be done, like decorate trucks OR they might want to work outside.  Honestly, at least ONE of those options is useful.  

[AmazonGrace]

20 hours ago, Howl said:

One commenter noted that a girl getting an education to be prepared in case the husband is killed or dies or leaves is just a set up for not totally trusting the Lord.  

 

Gotta think of the fowls of the air who neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet their heavenly Father feedeth them.     So doing nothing and expecting worms to just be dropped into your mouth by the divine hand must be okay.   If people got more actual science education they might realize that despite the lack of barns, the fowls of the air work their feathery asses off in order to feed their offspring.

[Lydia]

I think it is so great you have my name as a topic here!

[formergothardite]

7 hours ago, anniebgood said:

State of shock I guess when she got to the chapter on prostitutes and whores.

The thought of her reading that makes me chuckle.  Lady Lydia has such a whitewashed view of history. I don't think she could survive one day in the past. 

[Lydia]

It is really cool you have me as a headline here!  And, I see you are all still reading my blog!

Annie,  so sorry you wasted money on buying that book, and also costing you money for postage.

 

[lilwriter85]

9 hours ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

The best statement I have ever heard in this topic was from the wife of a very successful (and devoutly Mormon) CEO. In regards to young women being educated she said that there are different seasons of life (sound like anyone we know?) and that circumstances and people may come and go in your future, but that one thing that WILL be in your future is you. So no matter how much her daughters wanted to marry and have babies young, she and her husband made each girl get a bachelor's degree in an employable field. Because babies do grow up, husbands may die, become disabled, or leave, and you need to be able to cover your own ass out there in the world. I thought it was a wonderful piece of advice. 

Which is why I get so angry when I see these children not being given the tools to control their own destiny in life. 

I have noticed that many Mormons believe in backup plans for women and they value education for women as well. I've come across several Mormon bloggers that are SAHMs, but they used to work prior to kids or marriage and many have college degrees or vocational training and some will occasionally mention that they might return to the workforce later on. There are some Mormon bloggers that are very much against women working and are against  women getting degrees. Stephanie "NieNie" Nielson is that category. She gets ripped apart on GOMI quite often because she and her family travel quite a bit during the school year and there are times she had admitted to taking her older daughters out of school for shopping days or days to stay home and hang out.

[PsyD2013]

Lady Lydia has got to have some piss poor time management skills.  I work full time sometimes closer to 55 -60 hours a week and still manage to make cooked from real food meals- (no boxes, bags, cans) because PsyD Jr and I some wonky food allergies.  Granted,  I'm not making vomit pink glitter hot glue gun decorations from my house but the basics get done.  The house is clean and the yard looks decent.  

[anachronistic]

I am really glad that I live in the modern world. If Lydia really wants to return to Victorian times and values, then why does she have Internet? Is she willing to give up plumbing, electricity, safe food, and everything else? If not, then she is a hypocrite, pure and simple.

I think that Lydia is a very privileged, somewhat delusional person who does not understand at all her own privilege. I am gay and disabled. 100 years ago I would not be able to date or marry who I loved, and I would also be dead. It is feminism that enables me to live my life freely and joyfully and I am thankful for it. It is modern society that gives me the tools I need to survive, like medications and plumbing. Lydia's fantasies are nice for a ten year old but at some point you have to grow up, which apparently she never did. That is privilege.

Lydia, since you are apparently reading here now, please, what I want to know is: if you broke your arm, would you go to the ER? Would you be willing to be treated by a female doctor? Or would you lecture her on how she ought to be home with her children? If you truly believe that all women should be homemakers, why are you not living your values by refusing to interact with employed women?

[Palimpsest]

It's the original meaning of Parkinson's Law:  work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

To LL, happiness and fulfillment for women = faffing around arranging pink tea cups, dust catchers, and glittered hot glued dime store crap.  Exhorting others to do likewise is her work and her ministry.  She's such an encouragement.

I'd have some sympathy for her if she weren't so nasty, bitter, and judgmental.

[Curious]

1 hour ago, Lydia said:

It is really cool you have me as a headline here!  And, I see you are all still reading my blog!

Annie,  so sorry you wasted money on buying that book, and also costing you money for postage.

 

Welcome Lady Lydia.   I'm sure our members will have lots of questions for you, if you stick around.  Did you just find us recently? 

You can find our other threads about you here, if you are interested: http://www.freejinger.org/forum/279-lady-lydia/

[samira_catlover]

19 hours ago, Caribou said:

I just love the fact that in the first cartoon picture of the husband kissing his spouse in the kitchen, the wife is in full makeup with perfectly coiffed hair, wearing a dress and PEARLS. My husband and I have a "traditional" marriage in that he works and I'm at home, but if he came home one day and found me in that get-up, cooking dinner, he'd immediately think I'd suffered some sort of psychological breakdown. 

You forgot the high heels and the June Cleaver smile, hon....

@general: Not sure if it was in More Work for Mother by Ruth Schwartz Cowan or in Susan Strasser's Never Done: A History of American Housework (don't have either handy at library now, but both great reads), but the actual time spent in weekly housework actually starting going UP as we got more gadgets and tech developments.  In the days of washtubs, you hung up clothes and wore them several times before doing laundry, and you changed one sheet every week/10 days. Slow-simmering stews, soups, porridges got replaced by more complex dishes. You have car access now?--good, after dropping the hubby off at the train station, now go off and do a lot of errands and shopping.

[Palimpsest]

Women have always worked too.  It was a middle class ideal that married women were home-makers and mothers at home in the Victorian era.  It is complete Fundie myth that this was true for all women in the 19th century.  Plenty of married women worked in factories, in domestic service, as farm laborers, as milliners and dressmakers ...

As Lady Lydia seems to have joined, us I'm pining to know what she really does all day and also what Mr Sherman really thinks of her home decor. 

@Lydia are you open to questions?

 

 

[nokidsmom]

I know I speak often of my Maxwellian parents and while they had their hangups, one thing they did value was education.  All of us were encouraged to do well in school, whenever there were problems/issues they jumped on them right away.   I did go to college, which they supported and incidentally, because they thought especially since we were female, it was all the more important we have an education plus work experience as a backup because stuff happens.

[AmazonGrace]

In the chores list for the home maker there are windows for every Saturday. God wants windows washed weekly? 

[TeddyBonkers]

I don't view getting an education and having work experience as "not trusting in God's provision". Rather I see it as using the talents and abilities that He gave me and being a good steward of His gifts. (I'm a Lutheran. I swear a lot, too.) 

There's a parable about talents in the Bible, @Lydia. The servant who didn't use his gifts to the fullest was not exactly high on the master's Christmas card list. Care to discuss?

[AmazonGrace]

4 hours ago, PsyD2013 said:

Lady Lydia has got to have some piss poor time management skills.  I work full time sometimes closer to 55 -60 hours a week and still manage to make cooked from real food meals- (no boxes, bags, cans) because PsyD Jr and I some wonky food allergies.  Granted,  I'm not making vomit pink glitter hot glue gun decorations from my house but the basics get done.  The house is clean and the yard looks decent.  

Someone in the comments section says it takes her 24 hours to make dinner.... she counts the time from the time she thinks about what recipe to choose and takes the meat out of the freezer to defrost. 

Using that definition I've made some dinners that took several weeks to make... 

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Women have always worked too.  It was a middle class ideal that married women were home-makers and mothers at home in the Victorian era.  It is complete Fundie myth that this was true for all women in the 19th century.  Plenty of married women worked in factories, in domestic service, as farm laborers, as milliners and dressmakers ...

This is very much true and is even shown in the a painting Lady Lydia used called The Little Country Maid. This is what Lady Lydia says about it:

Quote

This painting, above, by Camille Pissarro, is called "The Little Country Maid."  The young woman at home usually loved taking care of her own house, her husband and her children. 

But in reality it shows a woman working. That is an actual maid in the painting. This was a scene from the artist's daily life. The child in the painting is his son. And that is a working woman, the country maid, cleaning. 

[anniebgood]

Lydia is reading. Hi!!!!!!!

She sent me an email re the posting I made earlier. She is aware of all of our comments. Doesn't sound happy with me. 

OT:

I'm too tired to deal with anything right now. I've just jumped into Quick Books and I am up to my ample ass in alligators besides teaching 1 night. And if my damn students would do the work and turn it in, it won't be a surprise grading system before the final .

How freaking hard is a take home midterm using an open book??????

 

 

 

[catlady]

5 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

In the chores list for the home maker there are windows for every Saturday. God wants windows washed weekly? 

Weekly?!  Holy FSM, I think the last time I washed my windows was three or four years ago.  The patio door with the dog slobber doesn't get washed every week.

[formergothardite]

32 minutes ago, anniebgood said:

Lydia is reading. Hi!!!!!!!

She sent me an email re the posting I made earlier. She is aware of all of our comments. Doesn't sound happy with me. 

What we all want to know @Lydia is if you got to the chapters on prostitutes and whores. 

Also, my mother always taught me it was rude to not send a thank you card for a gift even if you don't care for the gift. Bad manner Lydia, bad, bad manners. 

Lydia, you may not like reality crashing into your pretend world, but that one painting was of a working woman. Just think of that, you have working women displayed on your blog! 

[jozina]

I'm going to go ahead and assume God doesn't want me wasting so much of a precious resource (water) on something as useless as washing windows weekly.

[TeddyBonkers]

I wash the cat's nose prints off when it gets to be noticeable from the sidewalk. 

[catlady]

Ok, right now the rain is doing a nice job of washing the outsides of my windows.  Still not doing the insides today......

[anniebgood]

11 hours ago, Lydia said:

It is really cool you have me as a headline here!  And, I see you are all still reading my blog!

Annie,  so sorry you wasted money on buying that book, and also costing you money for postage.

 

I got it used for 05.¢ and 3,99 didn't break my bank. I also have it on my Kindle. I read it.