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What's Going On in Maxhell? A Whole Lotta Nothing, Pt. 2


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5 minutes ago, RoseWilder said:

In every newborn photo shoot I've ever seen, the baby looks dead in most of the pictures. It's so creepy. 

If the corpse look doesn't float your boat, there's always the "Clinging To Dad's Arm Like A Rhesus Monkey", and that timeless classic, "Head Propped On Hands Like The Baby Fell Asleep In A College-Level Statistics Class."

I'm particularly fond of the ones where the baby is randomly suspended above the ground in a gauze sack. Nothing captures the magic and mystery of bringing a new life into the world quite like trussing up a baby like a sack of potatoes.

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3 minutes ago, SolomonFundy said:

If the corpse look doesn't float your boat, there's always the "Clinging To Dad's Arm Like A Rhesus Monkey", and that timeless classic, "Head Propped On Hands Like The Baby Fell Asleep In A College-Level Statistics Class."

I'm particularly fond of the ones where the baby is randomly suspended above the ground in a gauze sack. Nothing captures the magic and mystery of bringing a new life into the world quite like trussing up a baby like a sack of potatoes.

Or how about the one where the baby has Mom and Dad's wedding rings either in their hand or on their foot. 

I hate it when photographers try to get creative. Just take a picture of the damn baby and spare us the theatrics. 

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1 hour ago, RoseWilder said:

In every newborn photo shoot I've ever seen, the baby looks dead in most of the pictures. It's so creepy. 

My grandma used to have a picture of her sister. Dead. "Holding" up a lily. The girl died on her first birthday, before my grandma was born. It was the only picture she had of her. Evidently this was once a thing.

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24 minutes ago, cathgrl1 said:

My grandma used to have a picture of her sister. Dead. "Holding" up a lily. The girl died on her first birthday, before my grandma was born. It was the only picture she had of her. Evidently this was once a thing.

Oh yeah. Taking photos with dead people was a real thing in the Victorian era.

SPOILER ALERT: the first photo will REALLY creep you out.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-mortem_photography

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Oh yeah. Taking photos with dead people was a real thing in the Victorian era.

SPOILER ALERT: the first photo will REALLY creep you out.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-mortem_photography

The Thanatos Archive has one of the largest collections of post-mortem photography in the world. Their preview gallery is here: http://thanatos.net/preview/

For many people this might be the only photograph they would have of their loved ones because photography was so expensive at the time. It's a fascinating custom.

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9 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

If the corpse look doesn't float your boat, there's always the "Clinging To Dad's Arm Like A Rhesus Monkey", and that timeless classic, "Head Propped On Hands Like The Baby Fell Asleep In A College-Level Statistics Class."

I'm particularly fond of the ones where the baby is randomly suspended above the ground in a gauze sack. Nothing captures the magic and mystery of bringing a new life into the world quite like trussing up a baby like a sack of potatoes.

I saw a prop for those baby photos the other day.  It was a 1.5m high model stork that could be set up to look like it was holding the gauze sack thing.

The paint job was slightly garish and it was as creepy as fuck.

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On 6/11/2016 at 11:03 AM, mango_fandango said:

Sarah's always loved cute headbands on babies, presumably as opposed to ugly ones. Newsflash: they're all ugly.

And woah @SolomonFundy at your cousin not growing hair for five years. Poor kid.

Sarah also seems to love giant flower headbands for herself. Maybe she's trying to convince herself she's not a 30+ woman with no future but rather, a cute little kid with her whole life ahead of her. 

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On 6/11/2016 at 9:00 AM, Jana814 said:

Christopher is like Steve. Steve wouldn't heat up food so neither will Christopher. 

Actually, the Maxwell men are unusual in that they do cook.  When they are in the mood they make breakfast. And pies.  We have photographic evidence.

Steve also cut up a lobster once.

 

19 hours ago, DrPusey said:

The new thing with the infant photo shoots seems to be to wrap them up in gauze so they look like caterpillars with human heads.

That mummified baby was the creepiest Maxwell photo ever.  And that is saying a lot.

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9 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Actually, the Maxwell men are unusual in that they do cook.  When they are in the mood they make breakfast. And pies.  We have photographic evidence.

Steve also cut up a lobster once.

Is there any evidence said comestibles are edible?  As for the lobster, that was an exercise in wasting of good seafood and $$$.

I'm curious if Jesse makes his own black coffee.

On ‎6‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 4:09 PM, mango_fandango said:

WOOHOO! You used my name suggestion! 

Whoops. Too much enthusiasm for Maxhell. I better go read my Bible before dusting off my ceiling fans.

Maybe you'll decipher a new way to clean off those giant blades---don't forget to tell us infidels---

 

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On 11/06/2016 at 10:50 AM, mango_fandango said:

"Since we don't know when the right guy will show up"

Damn that sounds so sad. Most girls/women are active in seeking out a guy- or, if they're not, they go out in public to places where it's likely, e.g. a bar, work, coffee shop, whatever. Heck, even the Duggars and Bateseseseseses are more proactive when it comes to meeting spouses. Zach met Whit at a fast food joint! Most women do not sit around at home sewing endless baby headbands. Newsflash: the right guy will not land on your doorstep. If they never go out, how do they expect to meet someone? A guy isn't going to walk past the Maxhell compound and go "Ooh there are some unmarried, Godly ladies in there!" They're not psychic.

 

Well what I'm doing to find a wife is a whole lotta nothing.  Yesterday morning my dad asked me whether I think about what I could do to find a wife, and I said "... ... ... no."  This morning he said that he prays for me in this area.  Well at least one of us is doing something.

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13 hours ago, freejugar said:

Those headbands are ugly and expensive

$34 for a little bit of fabric?

$34 to solidify those gender roles as early as possible.

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3 hours ago, Granwych said:

Is there any evidence said comestibles are edible?  As for the lobster, that was an exercise in wasting of good seafood and $$$.

I'm curious if Jesse makes his own black coffee.

Maybe you'll decipher a new way to clean off those giant blades---don't forget to tell us infidels---

 

John's pie with "delicious chunks" seemed to be edible - although it doesn't look very attractive in this picture.   I took this picture before the last piece was gone, but even that disappeared. Good work, John!

Quote

I took this picture before the last piece was gone, but even that disappeared. Good work, John!

http://blog.titus2.com/2015/09/12/a-hymn-sing-and-pie-fellowship/

 

 

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On 6/12/2016 at 0:33 AM, RoseWilder said:

Or how about the one where the baby has Mom and Dad's wedding rings either in their hand or on their foot. 

I hate it when photographers try to get creative. Just take a picture of the damn baby and spare us the theatrics. 

But don't you want to know if the baby is (gasp!) legitimate? :pearlclutching:

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I have a friend who is a self trained photographer. She takes so many of these damn baby photos I stopped following her on Facebook, IG and Twitter. I can't take it! Wedding rings on the toes; giant bows on the head, mummified newborn, manipulated baby in a ball in a 'nest'...it all just makes my head explode.

I said something once that she found totally offensive, which kinda' proved my own thinking that is too convoluted to really get into. After her own 3rd baby was born, and weeks of the cutesy baby 'portraits', she posted a cell phone picture of the baby in a bouncy seat, seemingly mesmerized by the ceiling fan. I said something like "I love this picture, just the baby being the baby, no props". She was sooooo pissed at me for weeks. And still makes 'side' remarks to remind me that she's never forgotten that I dared to say I like pics of the damn baby more than pics of the photographers 'creativity'.

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Friends of mine lost a baby at 26 weeks and they had photos taken that they've never shown to anyone other than immediate family. I can understand why they have those photos; they're a precious memento and the only tangible thing they have to remember their daughter by. I will NEVER understand, however, why people with living, breathing children choose to photograph their newborns as if they were dead. To start with, I generally think newborns are kind of creepy looking in their half-cooked way but to truss them up in shrouds and what not…just, no. We have a couple of photos of our daughter as a newborn, but I made sure her eyes were open and alert. The dead baby photography trend can't go away soon enough.

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On 6/11/2016 at 9:00 AM, Jana814 said:

Christopher is like Steve. Steve wouldn't heat up food so neither will Christopher. 

In Steve's case maybe that's for the best.  He's the one that almost burned his house down with a crockpot one Christmas Eve.

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5 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

$34 to solidify those gender roles as early as possible.

Or they could pin a modest blue or pink square on the baby's outfit, and spend the money they saved on burrito meat.

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John has a new truck y'all!

This is the last paragraph:

 The takeaway for everyone is. Pay attention at stop signs. If the driver of the first vehicle had stopped and looked, none of this would have happened. The second takeaway is, make sure you have good insurance.

Is takeaway the right word? Looking it up, seems it is. To British people, a takeaway is what you guys call takeout. Just seems like odd phrasing to me.

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5 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

John has a new truck y'all!

This is the last paragraph:

 

 

Is takeaway the right word? Looking it up, seems it is. To British people, a takeaway is what you guys call takeout. Just seems like odd phrasing to me.

Yes, takeaway is used in the way Sarah used it here in the U.S.

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The takeaway here is that a car accident is just God's way of giving a Maxwell a better truck. 

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I love the way he basically disparaged the driver of the vehicle with two kids in it. 

Getting a new vehicle is not a miracle when that is what insurance is for. Also, how much did they save on the vehicle that he was willing to fly to another state to get it? Is it normal to leave the state to get what is really a common car, not some rare sports car. I worry about doing something like that here because we have such strict laws about air emission I would worry that I have to go fix the "new" car so that it will pass a smog test. 

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I want a fundy photographer  to do a glorious mashup of all their trends:

mummified gauze newborn, with mommy & daddy's wedding bands on its toes, lying on a railroad track.

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35 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I want a fundy photographer  to do a glorious mashup of all their trends:

mummified gauze newborn, with mommy & daddy's wedding bands on its toes, lying on a railroad track.

As long as there's a Bible verse included too. Something about Lo, heritage, and children and I forget...

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Basically.  The takeaway is.  Please, learn how, to use some "punctuation"!

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