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Daniel Staddon and Kathryn Neely: the most convoluted courtship story ever


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On ‎6‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 1:09 PM, docmom said:

My parents met at 11 and married at 22.  They're going strong 50+ years later.  But...they dated other people before they got married, they went away to separate universities, they had independent lives before they got married.  And so, they've never wondered what it would be like if they'd ended up with some one else.  I think this is my biggest issue with fundie marriages- they haven't had the chance to prove to themselves that they really are with "The One".  At least some of them must wonder what life would be like with some one else.

I love reading stories about couples that have been together for a long time (and/or that are also a true love match). It's a rare thing nowadays.

I freely admit to being a sap about such things, but it also depends on the situation, too.

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5 hours ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

I love reading stories about couples that have been together for a long time (and/or that are also a true love match). It's a rare thing nowadays.

I freely admit to being a sap about such things, but it also depends on the situation, too.

Absolutely. One situation, two people, at a time. 

My brother and sister in law met and began dating when they were 14 & 15 years old - in 1985.  They dated throughout high school & college, never breaking up, never seeing anyone else. They got married in 1995 and are still married now. For them, it totally worked. 

My sister married her high school boyfriend when they were 21. They were divorced at 22.For them, first love wasn't so good.

My aunt and uncle met their junior year of high school in 1956. They married in 1960. They're still married. Again, for them, first love was the bomb.

My boss married her high school sweetheart 42 years ago; still together.

I met my ex when I was 26 and we got married when I was 29. We got divorced when I was 43.

All of those stories are nice, or not. They are what they are. And none should ever be used to judge or determine how 'all' relationships happen.

To me, that is the biggest, worst, ugliest thing about this crazy daddy controlled courtship crap. They take one rule and apply it to everyone. They leave no room for personality, human feeling, desire, wants, sadness, hurt, anger, making up...nothing. These people are thrown together and sent off to make the babies without knowing jack shit about their now partner for life no matter what they learn, no matter how compatible they may or may not be; they're not allowed 'stories'; they're given rules. Period.

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My aunt(Mom's sister)started dating her future husband when she was 14 and he was 17.  He served in the Navy after graduation, and after he was discharged and  she graduated, they married.  It lasted 37 years, until he was killed in an accident in 1999.

And just as a point of comparison, both of their children have been married and divorced twice.

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Just saw that there will be a live stream of the wedding this Saturday at 2 pm on the couple's website. Day drinking anyone?

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On June 10, 2016 at 0:17 PM, 19 cats and counting said:

This is why I (for the most part) give younger married/engaged/courting fundies a pass for immaturity (Alyssa Bates Webster is a good example).   If they feel those kinds of emotions at someone, they're expected to marry ASAP and start popping out kids.

I will admit that I was like that with my first boyfriend (18).  After we were together a month, I was convinced I was going to marry him and started writing my first name with his last name on my notebooks.  I'm very glad that social media didn't exist then because I shudder to think what my posts would have been. 

A pass for immaturity? These people are breeding, FFS.

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2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

To me, that is the biggest, worst, ugliest thing about this crazy daddy controlled courtship crap. They take one rule and apply it to everyone. They leave no room for personality, human feeling, desire, wants, sadness, hurt, anger, making up...nothing. These people are thrown together and sent off to make the babies without knowing jack shit about their now partner for life no matter what they learn, no matter how compatible they may or may not be; they're not allowed 'stories'; they're given rules. Period.

One of these dads actually pointed out at a wedding that the couple does not need to be in love, with a strong implication that a husband doesn't necessarily need to love his wife.  His wife may or may not have heard this remark.  The important thing is to breed like rabbits.  The worst case scenario would be an incompatible couple with infertility (husband shooting blanks or wife unable to conceive). 

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On 7/14/2016 at 6:26 PM, Howl said:

One of these dads actually pointed out at a wedding that the couple does not need to be in love, with a strong implication that a husband doesn't necessarily need to love his wife.  His wife may or may not have heard this remark.  The important thing is to breed like rabbits.  The worst case scenario would be an incompatible couple with infertility (husband shooting blanks or wife unable to conceive). 

That's so sad, and it doesn't even fit their religion. "Husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church..." (or something like that)

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On 7/15/2016 at 2:26 AM, Howl said:

One of these dads actually pointed out at a wedding that the couple does not need to be in love, with a strong implication that a husband doesn't necessarily need to love his wife.  His wife may or may not have heard this remark.  The important thing is to breed like rabbits.  The worst case scenario would be an incompatible couple with infertility (husband shooting blanks or wife unable to conceive). 

The first -- a loveless marriage/husband doesn't have to love his wife -- is what leads to a Joshley Madison situation, IMO.

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Today's the day! Whichever of us lucky binches catches the bouquet (digitally, via livestream) will be the next one to get married to someone we've been talking to over the phone for one month. MAZEL TOV!

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On 6/9/2016 at 6:12 AM, CatNap said:

...and it seems like the only attendees are these three families and a handful of other Gothardite families. What in the name of TFSM is the point? They are preaching to the same zealous choir every year. They are all the same anyway: living the same "godly" lives, thinking the same "pure" thoughts, exposed to the exact same materials, Character booklets and all. WTF?

Sounds like a cross between a family reunion and an echo chamber.  Maybe a cover for checking out suitable mates for the young 'uns? At least they aren't trying to marry off the girls at 14....

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I just finished my cleaning for the weekend. I don't have to be anywhere until 7 tonight. Somehow, I managed to have a free afternoon just when one is needed to watch the fundie show! I still don't know how I'll manage without a drink or ten, but I will give it a shot. 

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I have to go to a real life, non fundie wedding so can't join in on the snark. :( Somebody make a catty remark about someone's outfit choice in my honor. :margarita:

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10 hours ago, refugee said:

That's so sad, and it doesn't even fit their religion. "Husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church..." (or something like that)

I suspect "loving" one's wife doesn't necessarily mean liking her with these folk.

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A baby is crying! Argh! I hate that during special celebrations. And I hate the way Daniel (that's Dan, right?) is talking to the audience right now. Very condescending, not real genuine. Maybe that's just me.

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They are finally done singing. That was hella boring. I just want to see Kathryn now.

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@hasunah, Same! I thought it was nice of Kathryn to kiss her mom before proceeding to walk down the rest of the way. I predict long and boring vows with lots of references to Jesus and religion.

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Showed up fashionably late, halfway through the pre-processional sermon, and now we're halfway through the post-processional sermon. Whew!

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Okay, so it's not Daniel speaking, it's the pastor who is officiating. This is so damn dull. Stop mentioning convenants and contracts, stop it. I'm not gonna watch anymore because it is too boring. I'll look to see if there are photos of the special day. I just wanted to see Kathryn and her dress.

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