Daniel Staddon and Kathryn Neely: the most convoluted courtship story ever

[Palimpsest]

4 hours ago, Kylolo said:

From Daniel's story: "On one of the mornings of that same conference, I could not find my Bible..."

What fundie loses their Bible???? Seems like that cements the path straight to hell. Or the prayer closet for several hours. 

Yeah, I noticed that too.  Daniel misplacing his Bible is about as likely as finding an "unused" Bible on a shelf in the Wilkes library, with or without a greeting card with the name of his beloved marking the place in Deuteronomy he had purposed to read that day.

Quote

Well it couldn't be KathrynlovesDaniel. That would be very forward. Tut tut @AmazonGrace

We also know that David loves Priscilla. Are there any more? Josh loves An....? No?

I think the lads working for IBLP have all copied each other with the FredlovesWilma business.  Nah, it is the Josh and Anna Duggar family website, and others choose a text or a saying as in "Adam and Valerie: Joyfully in His Service Together."

These Fundie "Our Stories" have a lot in common because they all follow the same formula.  They are testimonies and preachification - not fact.

I think they are written in the same way Sarah Maxwell writes the Moody books.  Every single draft chapter is reviewed by their parents to see whether it sounds Godly and pious enough.  If it doesn't fit the mould they are sent away to "remember" the sign from the LORD or the right Bible verse to illustrate a point.

[Georgiana]

14 minutes ago, Kak said:

Well it couldn't be KathrynlovesDaniel. That would be very forward. Tut tut @AmazonGrace

We also know that David loves Priscilla. Are there any more? Josh loves An....? No?

Don't be silly.  It HAS to be Boy loves Girl.  THAT's what matters.  No one cares about the feelings of the women!

[NachosFlandersStyle]

18 hours ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Yes, the name-change thing is very odd.  I've known 4 people who changed their names later in life as adults.  Each of the four was weirder than the one before.  

My mom changed her name in adulthood-- she was baptized with a saint's name but has only ever been called by a different name (think Erin and Chad naming their son Charles but calling him Carson). At some point she decided that she wanted the name she goes by to be her legal name. But it doesn't seem like anyone already calls Kathryn 'Sara'?

[Mela99]

This has to be some kind of record. Are there any other fundies we know of engaged in less than a month? 

The ring story is kind of cringeworthy. Internally flawless princess... I wonder what that cost him. I'll give him credit for that ring though. Pretty. Most fundie rings I've seen though are either solitaires or three stones. Nice to see something outside that.

I still don't get the "I'm changing my name" thing. Isn't that offensive to your father who named you?

[fundiefan]

To me, even worse than the manLOVESwoman format is their flippant use of the word love. Really, they LOVE each other after one month? With no history, no shared experiences, no...nothing but a stack of appropriately answered questions in daddy's hands? This totally and completely boggles my mind and this whole courtship crap is just a fundie way of justifying marrying their children off before they think to have sex; of tying them to another human for life just so they don't make themselves 'impure' by touching someone of the opposite sex or even having the sex. It's actually quite telling, to me; fundies are fucking terrified of sex, of their own minds, of the world - of being alive. Better to pretend some god has a bajillion rules to follow than to trust yourself to use your brain and navigate life.

All of which is in direct contrast to what they SAY - which is that their god created them. If they are right, their god created a bunch of empty vessels, gave them an instruction book, and set them up to fail.

[Jana814]

I think what happens in a lot of Fundie familes is the girls are taught to only have the ambition to be a wife & mother.  If at one time in childhood they have a different dream or goal they are taught that its not a good idea. 

[AuntK]

This discussion regarding the "manloveswoman" format keeps reminding me of the great make-out song of my youth, "When a Man Loves a Woman," by Percy Sledge!  Great song, doubt any of them have ever heard of it, but, boy, when it came on the radio. . .

[Kylolo]

Are all the man-loves-woman sites made by Robert? I think Daniel said he helped with theirs, and he does know Brandon and David via IBLP work obviously so maybe it's his "thing" to get those domain names. 

[Palimpsest]

8 minutes ago, AuntK said:

This discussion regarding the "manloveswoman" format keeps reminding me of the great make-out song of my youth, "When a Man Loves a Woman," by Percy Sledge!  Great song, doubt any of them have ever heard of it, but, boy, when it came on the radio. . .

Ah, yes.  They don't write them like they used to.

[HereticHick]

Well, its better than

  Man>Woman.com

 

although that would be more truthful for Fundies

[refugee]

16 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

It is noteworthy to me that both Robert's and Daniel's websites are He-loves-her and nothing about vice versa. 

(And how convenient it is to ask the LORD for a sign if you should get married or not, on a day that you know your Bible reading will be the wedding psalm.)

Come to think of it, it's biblical. Right out of Ephesians 5. Hah. I guess the women's corresponding websites would have to be She-respects-him. (or maybe She-submits?)

[NachosFlandersStyle]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

To me, even worse than the manLOVESwoman format is their flippant use of the word love. Really, they LOVE each other after one month? With no history, no shared experiences, no...nothing but a stack of appropriately answered questions in daddy's hands? This totally and completely boggles my mind and this whole courtship crap is just a fundie way of justifying marrying their children off before they think to have sex; of tying them to another human for life just so they don't make themselves 'impure' by touching someone of the opposite sex or even having the sex. It's actually quite telling, to me; fundies are fucking terrified of sex, of their own minds, of the world - of being alive. Better to pretend some god has a bajillion rules to follow than to trust yourself to use your brain and navigate life.

All of which is in direct contrast to what they SAY - which is that their god created them. If they are right, their god created a bunch of empty vessels, gave them an instruction book, and set them up to fail.

And of course as soon as the wedding is over they'll be telling everyone "I married my best friend!" 

So did you not have any other friends or...?

[nelliebelle1197]

5 hours ago, Kak said:

Well it couldn't be KathrynlovesDaniel. That would be very forward. Tut tut @AmazonGrace

We also know that David loves Priscilla. Are there any more? Josh loves An....? No?

www.robertlovesdavidbutgothardsaidno.com

[GreyhoundFan]

25 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

www.robertlovesdavidbutgothardsaidno.com

LOL -- That one caused a spit-take!

[Mela99]

www.robertlovesdavidbutgothardsaidno.com

Why don't we give out FJ awards for comments more often? STFU parents has a Pimp Chalice for threads

[Cats B4 Quivers]

They have a frisbee on their wedding registry. 

 

[Dandruff]

4 minutes ago, Cats B4 Quivers said:

They have a frisbee on their wedding registry. 

 

That's actually encouraging.

[Palimpsest]

34 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

Why don't we give out FJ awards for comments more often? STFU parents has a Pimp Chalice for threads

I think someone did volunteer to work on that.  It was time consuming to count votes in the past, but counting upvotes should make that much easier. 

2 minutes ago, Cats B4 Quivers said:

They have a frisbee on their wedding registry. 

 

Well, why not? There are a lot of other games on there too.

They must be intending to host large numbers.  Three large crock pots!

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, Cats B4 Quivers said:

They have a frisbee on their wedding registry. 

 

Well aren't they a whimsical couple. They must be a blast at parties. Frisbees, Rubik's cubes, big old crock pots. 

I bet they get really crazy on Friday nights and whip out the Bible Pictionary. 

[Naga Viper]

Hey now—I know they just got on our radar, but I'd still take a chance on disc golf and what's in Crockpot #3 at the Staddons' over forced-smile photography and bean burritos at the Maxwells'.

[CyborgKin]

Quote

my father had a caution

Is that a real turn of phrase?  Or a weird sotdrtism?

Either way, it would make a good post count title.

[dawbs]

I read through that tripe.

Know what I thought of when I read it? I thought of my (awesome) grandma.  She knew my grandpa for a while before they married (and they were introduced by her brother, so he had been 'vetted').
And she and my grandpa had the sort of marriage that I aspire to.  
And one of the stories she told me is that the first day she was married, she made him a fried-egg-sandwich.  And she said she looked across the table to egg yolk dribbling off his 3 day whisker stubble and the thought in her head was "what have I gotten myself into?"

It doesn't matter how prepared you are, there will be thsoe moments.  But isn't it nice to have at least an IDEA of what those moments might be?  because I know for grandma, compared to the list of theological BS that these family used in vetting, if you asked her egg dribbling off his chin was 'ugh' (but everybody has 'ugh' qualities), theology differences were "he's nt trying to make ME believe exactly what he does, we're fine" , and  if he would have been the sort of person to put his career before hers, that would have been a dealbreaker.

I just can't see how that pretending to be King James drivel has any way  it really looks at those dealbreakers--it picks really stupid dealbreakers to look at.  Because theological differences, sure, worry about that if you want to, but, honestly, my theology has changed a LOT in the last 5 years.  ANd changed the 5 years before that.  My stance on, say, the value of my career and the expectations of who gets the 2am child-care-shifts, those haven't changed in the last 20 years, those are *REAL* dealbreakers, and I can't see how that vetting for 2 months can find that (it finds out what the couple's *families* believe on that, but that's not the same as the individual's beliefs)

[HermioneSparrow]

4 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

www.robertlovesdavidbutgothardsaidno.com

I almost peed my pants reading this LMAO!

[foreign fundie]

A common faith was very important for me, not so much to see if we would fit, but more to see who I would want to try to fit with in the first place, If you know what I mean. 

Like having a common language both partners can communicate in.  A shared faith was of that importance. As I would not consider a partner I could not communicate with in a common language, I would not consider one of a different faith (although I ended up marrying a guy from a vastly different denomination). 

Where I differ with these type of fundies, was that I used those criteria to elliminate prospective partners, not to choose them. I do not believe I would be happy with any guy who shares my faith. Because 99 % of marriage is day to day stuff. Normal conversations, not Bible study. You have to like somebody's actual company, not just his inner convictions. You have to feel safe on an emotional level, which has very little to do with ones ideas about the rapture or creation. And a good love life depends on mutual trust, built through day to day loving interaction, not on a proper theological understanding of your gender role.

I know some very godly men whose faith I really respect but that I would dread to be married to 

[snowflake]

My question boils down to the same question everyone else has. How do "fall in love" with someone after just a month? You can't truly know a person a month.