"A Courtship"

[JMarie]

12 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

She said she babysat for them as a college student, so I assume she probably met them through a church. This seemed to be a new endeavor for them as well--they were already sold on the whole courtship thing, but the deal of having an adult woman want them to run her courtship was new to them and all her idea. It was, however, according to him in the film, Ron's idea that she move in with them to accomplish it. 

 

 

Thanks for clarifying.  Now it sounds even skeevier than before.

[louisa05]

8 hours ago, onlyme said:

They still have a facebook page where it looks like they regurgitate every news story that remotely mentions dating so they can stay in peoples' facebook feeds, trying to sell that stupid movie. Yuck. 

The movie's director and producer are not fundies or courtship advocates and they seem to be running the FB page. 

Interview with the director here: 

http://www.indiewire.com/2015/04/tribeca-2015-women-directors-meet-amy-kohn-a-courtship-203967/

[snarkysuki1724]

I just want to thank y'all for this thread.  I have a scary breast MRI coming up on Thursday and I ordered " A Courtship" and it was an hour and a half mind vacation.  Wow, I feel sad for Kelly, and I agree that she appears to be much younger, not in looks, but emotionally.  The fact that Ross wanted to end the "pre-courtship", or whatever the hell they were doing over a theological difference that I'm sure could have been discussed and worked out somehow, just was unbelievable, ( maybe it really was about the kiss that she didn't save for him.)  And those poor little girls, that don't want an education, they just want to be wives.  Ugh.  Very interesting, though, thanks again for starting the thread!

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

On 5/28/2016 at 6:30 PM, roddma said:

I've ran across comments on the DUggar FB pages about how wonderful it is when a woman's parents are involved in choosing  a husband so she won't make a mistake. They get  a stern correction. No method of marrying/dating is perfect and women don't need anyone choosing anything for them. Some say they plan to do courting but it seems to come form younger ppl.

Many people choose to be single at 33. Single by choice or not. most 30ish singles aren't living at home, They have jobs, and some are in the process of owning a home or own one. If they are at home. they arent' bound to the house a s a free servant.

And they act like kisses are comparable to sex. I just don't get it.

Watch the movie Princess Cut, the main girl acts like she had been assulted when her BF kisses her.

[QuiverFullOfTacos]

On May 29, 2016 at 0:56 PM, louisa05 said:

This isn't purity and devotion, it is a sad failure to launch into adulthood.

I have wondered how many women are drawn to the culture of courtship and traditional gender roles because of a failure to, or unwillingness to, launch into adulthood. Just let daddy or some other male relative take care of you until you can find another man to do it. No decision-making required.

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

I spy with my little eye.. Duggar. 

Btw I rented A courtship. Man Kelly really is needing therapy. 

[Black Aliss]

16 hours ago, QuiverFullOfTacos said:

I have wondered how many women are drawn to the culture of courtship and traditional gender roles because of a failure to, or unwillingness to, launch into adulthood. Just let daddy or some other male relative take care of you until you can find another man to do it. No decision-making required.

I know a family like that, Christian but not fundie, where the two adult daughters went fundie-lite and decided that they needed to stay under their father's protection until they were married. Both parent were, WTF? Get an apartment! Get a job! Get a life! But they didn't leave until they got themselves married. At least their dad didn't have to go out and find husbands for them.

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

I just googled Kelly on FB, which lead me to Ross, turns out he married a girl named Annie who apparently worked at Generations Radio and CHEC (Kev Swanson is involved in both). So sorry Kelly, apparently you didn't make the cut. Ross and Annie wed on March 19th of this year 2016. Oddly enough I think Annie is kinda independent.. maybe Ross actually wanted a less passive bride..

[CrazyCatLady]

I just watched it. Wow. It was even worse than I expected. Kelly's sadness and disappointment after Ross ended things makes it very obvious that courtship does not solve the problem of a broken heart like it claims.

It also makes it too easy IMO for the guy to wimp out and end the courtship without even having to confront/discuss it with the woman. That seems incredibly cruel and juvenile to me.

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

40 minutes ago, CrazyCatLady said:

I just watched it. Wow. It was even worse than I expected. Kelly's sadness and disappointment after Ross ended things makes it very obvious that courtship does not solve the problem of a broken heart like it claims.

It also makes it too easy IMO for the guy to wimp out and end the courtship without even having to confront/discuss it with the woman. That seems incredibly cruel and juvenile to me.

I have to wonder who loved Ross more, Kelly or Ron. Lol

It was horribly sad though, Kelly needs to see a Psychologist for these deeply seated issues about her folks divorce. Idk why she was SO effected by it though considering I believe they said mom and pop divorced when she was in college. 

Her very infantile mind reminds me of Priss.

[ChairmanMeow]

On 31 May 2016 at 8:48 PM, Hane said:

Kelly has the affect of a very naive 15-year-old, as does Ross.  I was floored by the sight of full-fledged adults ending a relationship over theological hair-splitting. It's heartbreaking to see people intentionally limiting themselves like this in the misguided certainty that there's a perfect way to live and to achieve a goal.

I guess this means Mr Meow and I have to split because he identifies as atheist and I identify as spiritual?

How sad! No two people are ever going to agree on every single thing. If hair-splitting is enough to break up a courtship I guess I can't see how much potential a marriage could have and that would be enough for me.

[louisa05]

8 hours ago, CrazyCatLady said:

I just watched it. Wow. It was even worse than I expected. Kelly's sadness and disappointment after Ross ended things makes it very obvious that courtship does not solve the problem of a broken heart like it claims.

It also makes it too easy IMO for the guy to wimp out and end the courtship without even having to confront/discuss it with the woman. That seems incredibly cruel and juvenile to me.

Okay...I just thought of this because of your post--but it is all very middle school. Remember in middle school when you liked someone and you'd tell your friend to go tell his friend to tell him. Then all the drama would go back and forth through that line of people because you were all 12 and too scared to talk to anyone directly about such things....

That's what they are doing. They are dating like 12 year olds. 

4 hours ago, ChairmanMeow said:

I guess this means Mr Meow and I have to split because he identifies as atheist and I identify as spiritual?

How sad! No two people are ever going to agree on every single thing. If hair-splitting is enough to break up a courtship I guess I can't see how much potential a marriage could have and that would be enough for me.

I wonder what happens when people's beliefs change during the marriage. Many of these people are courting in their late teens and early 20s. I know my beliefs have changed immensely since then. If you base the relationship on agreeing on everything theological and political (a lot of the courtship questionnaires floating around include politics) 100% and have been taught that that is a key to a successful marriage, you are setting yourselves up for some serious future crises as ideologies mature and change later in life. 

[McDoodleDoodleDoo]

Has anyone watched this on hulu? The site shows Hulu as a place to watch it and I wasn't able to find it on the hulu site even though I have a paid subscription account there. 

[ChairmanMeow]

22 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I wonder what happens when people's beliefs change during the marriage. Many of these people are courting in their late teens and early 20s. I know my beliefs have changed immensely since then. If you base the relationship on agreeing on everything theological and political (a lot of the courtship questionnaires floating around include politics) 100% and have been taught that that is a key to a successful marriage, you are setting yourselves up for some serious future crises as ideologies mature and change later in life. 

This is a very good point!!!! I know myself I have switched from identifying as Christian, to agnostic, to now spiritual. With age I'm becoming more aware of politics and social justice issues, and I'm likely to become an activist with these issues in the foreseeable future. 13 years ago when I met Mr Meow these things were on my radar but not necessary thought much about and the idea of researching and learning about these things didn't really register.

I guess Fundie women have no choice but to follow their partner. But what if their partners turned Catholic for example? I do remember many years ago there was a couple at my church who left because the husband left Christianity and identified as an Atheist. I wonder how much say the wife had in the matter. I remember feeling very sad for her.

[ladyamylynn]

I tried to watch it, but it was just too cringe-inducing for me. I had to bow out right around when Ross shows up for dinner. 

[IreneIssh]

I finally was able to watch this movie (thanks Amazon Prime!) and I honestly loved it as a documentary. It really shows the sadness of this lifestyle for women, albeit unintentionally. I can't believe that the guy she was interested in got so hung up on doctrinal differences. I can't believe that they argue that this protects their heart, when Kelly was crying at the end, crushed that her courtship didn't develop into marriage. 

Also, I feel so sorry for the family's daughters. 

On 5/31/2016 at 7:48 AM, Hane said:

(Am I alone in seeing at least a tad of homoerotic undertone in Ron's interaction with the potential suitors?)

Absolutely not. Ron seemed almost as crushed as Kelly that Ross ended the relationship.  He was even trying to "win him back" in the end. 

Also, props for the Pippen reference.