List of Unmarried Fundies – It's a Small World

[JMO]

22 hours ago, Triplet3 said:

More of Elisabeth Linzey's wedding photos are up on the family blog. Looks like they had foot washing as part of the ceremony. Sigh

She must not know the Mortons.  I view foot washing as a bad omen after Katie's wedding. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Have we ever discussed the Shashaguay sisters? They blog as the Calico Sisters, two messianic SAHD in Michigan. Anyway, the older one, Cassie, recently announced that she's courting. 

[Triplet3]

I (very occasionally) look at their blog, usually because I've blog-hopped there from a different blog. I can't remember how old they are but had assumed they would be STAHDs forever - not sure why, to be honest. Thanks for letting us know about Cassie. I'll go and check out their blog now!

[uber frau]

On 04/14/2017 at 2:34 AM, Triplet3 said:

More of Elisabeth Linzey's wedding photos are up on the family blog. Looks like they had foot washing as part of the ceremony. Sigh

It looks like they washed each other's feet, which is reasonably common in some denominations.   Being Gothardite's,I'm sure they had some icky gender roles crap attached,but at it's heart it represents a mutual agreement to take each other's needs into consideration.

When Katie S'morton did it,it was entirely one sided.  She agreed to submit herself entirely to every whim of her husband. That's what made it so gross.

[Triplet3]

19 minutes ago, uber frau said:

It looks like they washed each other's feet, which is reasonably common in some denominations.   Being Gothardite's,I'm sure they had some icky gender roles crap attached,but at it's heart it represents a mutual agreement to take each other's needs into consideration.

When Katie S'morton did it,it was entirely one sided.  She agreed to submit herself entirely to every whim of her husband. That's what made it so gross.

Oh, ok. Fair enough.

[love2scrap]

Sproul-Phillips nuptials are confirmed as per Erin Sproul's instagram and also on fb: Delaney Mara's public profile photo.

[fundiefan]

On 4/15/2017 at 0:03 PM, love2scrap said:

Sproul-Phillips nuptials are confirmed as per Erin Sproul's instagram and also on fb: Delaney Mara's public profile photo.

Gag.

[ophelia]

On 15.4.2017 at 9:39 AM, uber frau said:

 

When Katie S'morton did it,it was entirely one sided.  She agreed to submit herself entirely to every whim of her husband. That's what made it so gross.

And after knowing what kind of man Alan really is and what happened in their marriage I often wonder how Katie feels about that foot washing  now. It was gross then, but now it is just horrible IMHO.

17 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Gag.

Makes me want to gag, too.. but at the same time I'd love a webstream and daydrinking with you gorgeous folks round here and make it into a big snark festival.

[SolomonFundy]

In Morton satellite news, Breanna Alexander (older sister of Tayte, husband of Martha Morton) just announced her engagement.  She and a guy from their church named Mark Barry became engaged on April 8th after a courtship of 5 months. The Alexander family blog has a post up about the big news, written by Breanna, and featuring long-angle chaperone shots of 8-mile courtship walks, side-hug "fellowship", and the proposal. 

Breanna is 24, and apparently has been pining for Mark since 2014. She lamented in the blog post that God made her wait for so long, since she always thought that getting married at age 18 would be "perfect".

For a family that managed to get their eldest son in a marital contract before he was even 18, I'm amazed that their daughters have waited so long. Breanna clearly anticipated an early marriage, and is just now engaged. Her older sister Brittany (27) is still at home, and seemingly unattached. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

For a family that managed to get their eldest son in a marital contract before he was even 18, I'm amazed that their daughters have waited so long. Breanna clearly anticipated an early marriage, and is just now engaged. Her older sister Brittany (27) is still at home, and seemingly unattached. 

It's because they have much less control as to WHEN their daughters get married. Sure these fundie families can push their 18 year old sons into finding a suitable breeder ASAP but it's different with the daughters. Their strict gender roles bite them in the ass when it comes to daughters. You can only do so much to get your daughter married young. You can go the route of Jill Rod and make a Facebook post that looks exactly like a mail order bride ad. 

So many engagement stories start with the girl having a crush on a guy for a long time and she just has to wait around until he notices. But What is so hilarious about their stupid gender roles is that I guarantee the girl is actually taking many subtle actions to begin the relationship. They can pretend all they want that the man is the one that always starts the relationship but that's complete BS. The girls probably make lots of eye contact, smile at them constantly, show them extra attention, laugh at all their jokes and basically FLIRT with the guy to let him know she's insterested. But these fundies would never admit their daughters do that. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

So I quickly browsed the Alexander blog and it seems quite obvious to me they didn't start their family fully fundie. Their first three children have non biblical names (Brittany, Breanna, and Tayte). Then there is a NINE year gap in children. Then the younger children all have biblical names nothing like the older children's names (like Esther and Titus). 

I am guessing they were like the Maxwells and started out their family as fairly normal and decided just to have three kids. Then at some point went full fundie and the rest is history. 

[usedbicycle]

Quote

Elisabeth Elliot's book Passion and Purity was extremely shaping in my life, as I learned from it not to pursue a relationship with a guy, but to simply pray about it and leave it with the Lord and wait on Him, quietly and obediently, surrendering all of my own hopes and desires.  My goal was to be "asleep" in the will of the Lord, His willing handmaiden, wanting only His will to be done. 

  I have second-hand embarrassment for these women. Like, lift your chin girl, have some dignity! "Asleep in the Lord" during the best years of your life, what the hell ?! Might as well get a lobotomy. 

[fundiefan]

The courtship story is all kinds of sad and pathetic and disturbing.

Sit on your ass and wait for a man to like you. Don't be a slut and let anyone ever know for even a single second that you think a boy may be cute/nice/interesting/whatever. Everything you do, say, think and feel must be framed with 'for the lord' whether waiting for the lord, being single for the lord, reading stupid books for the lord, rotting your brain for the lord, being a piece of property for the lord...

I really do get more and more disturbed by these awful courtship stories. They're nothing more than cattle calls.

They gave plugs to all the 'right' books though and Maxwells are touting their awesomeness and I'm sure the purity books Breanna read and made sure to mention got a piece of the action too.

When your kids aren't allowed to read books for knowledge but praise books that reinforce the idea that they are too delicate to make decisions or take any action for themselves, you, stupid, awful parents, have failed. Totally and completely and miserably.

[neurogirl]

A smaller detail about the courtship stories that I find sad is how romantic they are supposed to seem, but aren't. Breanna even wrote, "God writes the best love stories." Well your love story is truly not the best! You kept him silently in your mind for the Lord, he finally noticed you and asked his daddy to ask your daddy if you could go from acquaintances to practically-engaged, and then you went to a gazebo where he showed you your SUPER LONG journey of 5 months together and then proposed. I just...to me that's not romantic or magical or special, because it's not personal! The way they talk about each other and their supposed great romances, literally any other Bible-talking person of the opposite sex would do...

Even for fundies, I feel like a story like Joy/Austin's is more traditionally romantic - childhood friends brought together in Christ, etc, but an engagement dinner in the woods that they cooked/hunted! themselves. Joy is fundie but also "outdoorsy" and Breanna is...a handmaiden for the Lord? I wonder if she's ever read the Handmaid's Tale...haha.

[Triplet3]

Carson Bontrager is engaged to Carolina Bowers, also from a large, fundie, travelling, singing family.  http://bowersbus.blogspot.co.uk, http://bontragersingers.blogspot.co.uk

[fundiefan]

Holy hell  - off topic. I clicked on the blog links for the Bowers & Brontragers. Allison Bontrager has a blog of her very own now and the one post I read was about not destroying your brothers manhood. Her example, I quote:

 He doesn’t need me to tell him how to drive.  He needs me to NOT tell him how to drive.  If I would have told him what he was doing wrong, I would have been crushing his manhood and stepping into the position of teacher and leader.

Every one of these fundie fruitcakes are fucked in the head.

[neurogirl]

I'll take "fragile masculinity" for 200, Alex...

[hollyandivy]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

Holy hell  - off topic. I clicked on the blog links for the Bowers & Brontragers. Allison Bontrager has a blog of her very own now and the one post I read was about not destroying your brothers manhood. Her example, I quote:

 He doesn’t need me to tell him how to drive.  He needs me to NOT tell him how to drive.  If I would have told him what he was doing wrong, I would have been crushing his manhood and stepping into the position of teacher and leader.

Every one of these fundie fruitcakes are fucked in the head.

I just snorted my red wine over my laptop...what a waste of perfectly good wine (that funds will never get a taste of)

In all seriousness though - if your brother drives like an idiot you would rather get in an accident with him before you "crush his manhood"??? Wow, craziness reaches a new level...

[ophelia]

8 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Holy hell  - off topic. I clicked on the blog links for the Bowers & Brontragers. Allison Bontrager has a blog of her very own now and the one post I read was about not destroying your brothers manhood. Her example, I quote:

 He doesn’t need me to tell him how to drive.  He needs me to NOT tell him how to drive.  If I would have told him what he was doing wrong, I would have been crushing his manhood and stepping into the position of teacher and leader.

Every one of these fundie fruitcakes are fucked in the head.

I haven't read her blog yet, because this kind of nonsense was just what I expected from her.

Carolina Brower is beautiful by the way. Wow!

[catlady]

16 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

In all seriousness though - if your brother drives like an idiot you would rather get in an accident with him before you "crush his manhood"??? Wow, craziness reaches a new level...

that falls right in line with Terri Maxwell not reminding Stevehova to order the pizza.  if God didn't make him remember, there'd be no dinner and everyone would be hungry, but at least he'd still have his manly manhood.

[JMO]

18 hours ago, neurogirl said:

I'll take "fragile masculinity" for 200, Alex...

Exactly!!!  WTF, you can't tell your teenage brother not to be a dangerous ass?!?  Not to mention, this calls back to me when Anna was preggo with Mac and they were running super late to their doctor's appt and Josh kept stopping to do other shit b/c "Duggar Time".  And Anna kept sweet with a stressed smile on her face.  I think that deserved at least one "Honey, we really need to go now, we're late." Father Knows Best bullshit at it's finest. 

[fundiefan]

I wonder if mommy can ever correct them or reprimand them? She is a woman, after all. Would it be damaging to their manhood if mom says 'no, you do not hit your sister'. Do they have to wait til Daddy comes home and just hope he doesn't beat his sister to a pulp before then?

If your manhood is so damn fragile your sister cannot tell you you're driving like a jerk and it makes her uncomfortable, you have some very - very  - serious problems and the wife your god some day chooses for you -  with subtle signs -  is in for a world of fucking hurt. And so are you  and your fragile, pathetic manhood.

 

[neurogirl]

I was wondering that same thing about mothers! "Honor thy father and mother" is Biblical, and I imagine mothers would do most of the blanket training/homeschooling, but once their precious male baby starts puberty do they only obey with the threat of "wait till your father gets home?" 

Also, the Bontrager family uses Daddy and Mother for what they call the parents. Does that strike anyone else as odd? "Daddy" is warm, if infantilizing, but "Mother" in comparison seems like what a Victorian child would call their mom they never see (no offense to people who use the term "Mother," the dichotomy is really strange to me). 

I forgot where I saw it initially but proof here: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2008/04/daddy.html

[meee]

^I haven't read the blog and I don't know where the Bontragers are from, but "Mother and Dad" or "Mother and Daddy" seems to me to be a pretty common thing in the South, especially a generation or two ago.  My mother calls her parents Mother and Dad, and my father's pre-printed baby book from the 1940s refers to Mother and Daddy ("when Daddy gets home from work," "When Baby touches something of yours, tell him, 'That is Mother's.'," etc.)

[NachosFlandersStyle]

1 hour ago, meee said:

^I haven't read the blog and I don't know where the Bontragers are from, but "Mother and Dad" or "Mother and Daddy" seems to me to be a pretty common thing in the South, especially a generation or two ago.  My mother calls her parents Mother and Dad, and my father's pre-printed baby book from the 1940s refers to Mother and Daddy ("when Daddy gets home from work," "When Baby touches something of yours, tell him, 'That is Mother's.'," etc.)

They're from Iowa, same as me, and I don't know anyone who says that. I believe the parents were originally Amish or Mennonite, maybe it has some roots in that culture?