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Jill, Derick and Israel- Part 16


samurai_sarah

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I didn't post anything about Father's Day on my social media. I see my dad every single day. Mr. Daisy and I had cookout for both his dad and mine.

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7 hours ago, seasonsoflife said:

You know, last month when I found my (healthy) 70 year old mom dead in her apartment I just thought "awesome, this will get me SO MUCH social media attention". The pic I posted of us when I was a toddler was a total hit, it got more likes than anything I have ever posted. It made me feel so special and validated that I could almost forgive her for passing away unexpectedly the week before my belated honeymoon...oh...and for leaving me without a mother.

Unfortunately I don't believe in "the great beyond", so, as active as she was on social media, I am pretty sure she won't see any of it, because she is pretty much gone, and I won't get to reunite with her in the afterlife.

I am glad you are not my friend nor my psychologist. 

I'm really sorry for your loss. :hug:

I really don't think @BunnyBeemeant any harm. And I doubt she would say something like what she posted here during a session with a patient (if she is or becomes a Therapist) either. I think sometimes we all post stuff without realizing how it could potentially come across to others (I know I certainly do.) 

Looking back, I think she really was trying to comment on the more specific example of her cousins and her Grandfather's death rather than speaking about the subject in general. I could be wrong, but if that is the case it could be a little more understandable as she would have a better idea of why they posted and how close a relationship they had with their Grandfather - something you can't know if looking at a post from someone you don't know as well.

It's still not something I fully agree with, but it's definitely more understandable why she might feel that way about the situation.

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Wifey 4 Lifey. She actually wrote that. Maybe a little jokingly, but I wouldn't sign off on a romantic letter that way.

What can Derick write? Hubby 2 my Bubby? Shrubbery Hubby? Not a lot rhymes with hubby.

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14 hours ago, BunnyBee said:

This! I am in my twenties and I just don't understand why my peers write these long fathers day messages on social media like their dad's are going to see it?? Call your dad, tell him how much you love him over the phone or in person. Or recently my grandfather passed away, and my siblings and cousins took to facebook posting "Rest in peace Grandpa" and it was something I couldn't wrap my head around. Do they think Pop pop is checking FB from the great beyond? Is it for sympathy and validation? Attention? I DONT UNDERSTAND MY PEERS

The worst ones are the people who post about their partner, most likely while in the same room. "My husband, so handsome, so wonderful, all mine." Good for you. It seems both show off-y and insecure.

14 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Two things -

1. Some of our dads are on Facebook. I didn't write a long post, but I did put up a photo collage featuring three important dads in my life (mine, FIL, and BIL) wishing them a happy day. They all saw and enjoyed it. I know because I saw two of them that day and saw the third a few days later.

2. This subject came up in another thread. I don't think it's fair to judge people for sharing the loss of a loved one via social media. Everyone grieves differently - some people mourn privately and others find comfort in sharing it with others. Neither way is right for everyone.

For instance, I don't share that stuff when it happens because that's not how I choose to mourn. If I lost a parent or a sibling I might because I could probably use the support. I don't mind when people do though. If I did, I'd just ignore the post abd move on with my day.

On the other hand, I know a family who lost their teenage daughter to liver disease a few years ago. Long story short, she battled it since birth, survived one transplant, and died waiting for a second following an infection that forced the Doctors to take her off her anti-rejection meds. Her mother and older sister often shared their grief on Facebook immediately after it happened. They still do once in a while when it becomes overwhelming for them. Are they just "looking for attention" as you put it? No. They are deeply mourning the loss of someone they adored, a loss they likely will never recover from fully.

I'm sure there are people who are simply looking for attention - but they are not the majority by far. At least not from what I've seen.

(And for the record, I'm 28. Most people I know - older, younger, and the same age as me - would likely agree with what I've said.)

ETA: This may come across a lot bitchier than intended. Sorry if it does. This is something that bothers me a bit though. I don't think people should judge others for how they work through grief.

I guess I just don't understand how posting your grief brings any comfort. But I do agree with you that grieving people should be left alone. Many of the posters I mentioned (it was me on the other thread) are talking about much older losses, happy 115th birthday in heaven, etc. A fresh loss is different.

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9 hours ago, luxfilia said:

Just want to add that, in my experience as a woman in her late twenties, it's the generation above me who grossly overshares on Facebook. My MIL, for example, can't keep a praise for a family member or a seemingly relevant (to her), vague quote to herself.

Oh yeah, my MIL is an oversharer with no boundaries in real life, and that translates to an oversharer with no boundaries on Facebook. I hid her from my feed so I don't have to see it and have all my photos locked down as much as I can so she can't share with people I don't know.

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6 minutes ago, twinmama said:

Oh yeah, my MIL is an oversharer with no boundaries in real life, and that translates to an oversharer with no boundaries on Facebook. I hid her from my feed so I don't have to see it and have all my photos locked down as much as I can so she can't share with people I don't know.

There are over sharers of all ages. Thank god my mom was never on the internet, I'd have had to block her! She is the type that would sit down for a family dinner and ask someone at the table is she still had diarrhea. 

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1 minute ago, twinmama said:

Oh yeah, my MIL is an oversharer with no boundaries in real life, and that translates to an oversharer with no boundaries on Facebook. I hid her from my feed so I don't have to see it and have all my photos locked down as much as I can so she can't share with people I don't know.

My parents and in-laws aren't bad about over sharing. Only time I can remember is when my dad posted a picture of me flashing my engagement ring. I had texted it to immediate family after my husband proposed and had no intention of sharing it online, but dad didn't realize and was really excited. I couldn't be mad at him for that; it was adorable (and now I'm really careful to make it clear when something is not to be shared online). :pb_lol:

My husband's grandmother is another story entirely. She constantly shares passive aggressive stuff directed at my in-laws and doesn't filter anything on Facebook. There's a really long story behind it, but we have no relationship with her due to her treatment towards her daughter over the years (compared to how she ignores and constantly overlooks her son and DIL's many shitty actions towards my MIL and her family.)

It's led to so many issues that we all unfriended her. I went so far as to block her after we received a manipulative and passive aggressive note with the declined wedding RSVP we got from them last fall. We're ready to announce our pregnancy this weekend and the only fear I have is she's going to find out via the grapevine - she has a history of sending my MIL really nasty emails about that stuff. I unfriended her family to avoid that a bit, but there is still a big chance that she'll find out anyway.

So I definitely see what some people are saying about over sharing stuff. It's always been an issue, but social media has made it worse in some ways. It's also helped bring people together though. I think people just need to try and find a balance that works best for them and their situation.

4 minutes ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

There are over sharers of all ages. Thank god my mom was never on the internet, I'd have had to block her! She is the type that would sit down for a family dinner and ask someone at the table is she still had diarrhea. 

No joke, I just woke my sleeping dog laughing when I read this. How do you even respond to that?! :pb_lol:

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LMAO @ horse girl handwriting. Too apt.

If I were a Dugga, I'd be getting a little tired of the open letter commemorating every holiday around now.

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9 hours ago, luxfilia said:

Just want to add that, in my experience as a woman in her late twenties, it's the generation above me who grossly overshares on Facebook. My MIL, for example, can't keep a praise for a family member or a seemingly relevant (to her), vague quote to herself. She's just one example of very many her age with the same habit. I think the fact that so many of my generation's parents and grandparents are now on Facebook actually discourages many of us from sharing anything more than wedding photos or other really big-deal moments. I definitely don't rant or share thoughts about my bad days or photos of my weekends out like I did when social media was used mainly by younger people.

This! My mother's generation shares a lot more on FB than my friends (I'm 29, my mom is in her 50s) I actually had to hide her on FB because my wall was just filled with links and likes from her. Too much! I like to keep my FB private, and if it wasn't for the fact that I have friends all over the world I probably would have deleted it. 

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