OMG, possible fundie in my backyard! Worth going?

[samira_catlover]

OK, there's only like 105K people in my whole county, so you can imagine my startled reaction to see a quarter-page ad in our little local newspaper, with a "multi-millionaire philanthropist" coming to speak (today) at a Baptist church near me.

His qualifications (selected from the ad): "After his salvation, his application of Biblical principles to business and finance made him a success at making money and giving money to God's work." Other claims: financial founder of 10 Bible colleges, over 1,000 churches, gifts in excess of $35 million (USD, I assume) to ministries, etc.

Dear FJites, have I mentioned recently that Google is my TOTALLY BFF, but you guys are way near the top?....His name: Dr. Russell Anderson.  

I don't know much about the IFB groups, but when a FJ search indicated that the Pissing Preacher was a graduate of his college, I was SEVERELY tempted to attend.

Three sessions today (10 am Eastern US, 11 am, and 6:30 pm). Do I give up some precious Farmville time to learn about his teaching on Christian Stewardship? If I go, should I take a notebook? A bodyguard? A triple-swig of the communion wine, because I'll need it? Rescue ferrets? Inquiring minds like mine want to know!

[Gobsmacked]

12 minutes ago, samira_catlover said:

OK, there's only like 105K people in my whole county, so you can imagine my startled reaction to see a quarter-page ad in our little local newspaper, with a "multi-millionaire philanthropist" coming to speak (today) at a Baptist church near me.

His qualifications (selected from the ad): "After his salvation, his application of Biblical principles to business and finance made him a success at making money and giving money to God's work." Other claims: financial founder of 10 Bible colleges, over 1,000 churches, gofts in excess of $35 million (USD, I assume) to ministries, etc.

Dear FJites, have I mentioned recently that Google is my TOTALLY BFF, but you guys are way near the top?....His name: Dr. Russell Anderson.  

I don't know much about the IFB groups, but when a FJ search indicated that the Pissing Preacher was a graduate of his college, I was SEVERELY tempted to attend.

Three sessions today (10 am Eastern US, 11 am, and 6:30 pm). Do I give up some precious Farmville time to learn about his teaching on Christian Stewardship? If I go, should I take a notebook? A bodyguard? A triple-swig of the communion wine, because I'll need it? Rescue ferrets? Inquiring minds like mine want to know!

Rescue ferrets. Tick.

Large notebook plus  supply of pencils. Tick.

Friend to share after show restorative adult beverages of choice with. Tick.

Selection of chocolate to keep mind focused. Tick.

Powerful but discreet camera ( for visual feedback to us). Tick.

Comfy cushion. Could be a long night. Tick.

Supply of Tena lady products to help with the uncontrollable urge to giggle at any ( or many) of the daft remarks that will undoubtably made from the stage during the event. Tick.

A large dollop of encouragement and many hugs from your fellow FJrs. Tick.

 

 

 

[Palimpsest]

8 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Rescue ferrets. Tick.

Large notebook plus  supply of pencils. Tick.

Friend to share after show restorative adult beverages of choice with. Tick.

Selection of chocolate to keep mind focused. Tick.

Powerful but discreet camera ( for visual feedback to us). Tick.

Comfy cushion. Could be a long night. Tick.

Supply of Tena lady products to help with the uncontrollable urge to giggle at any ( or many) of the daft remarks that will undoubtably made from the stage during the event. Tick.

A large dollop of encouragement and many hugs from your fellow FJrs. Tick.

 

Yes, what @Gobsmacked said.  Do go!  

You will always regret it if you don't because you are one of our European representatives.  The risks of being converted are low and the opportunities for snark fodder are very high!  Make sure your phone is fully charged and your friend prepared to deprogram you afterwards over beverages of your choice.

Do take notes.  It may also help to have a KJV Bible in your bag to hide your hip flask.  

The rescue ferrets are prepared for deployment in any emergency and we expect a full  report on your return.  

 

[samira_catlover]

European correspondent? I'm US-born, and in MD. Was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran and now identify as a Goddess-worshipping Pagan who occasionally churches up with the Unitarian Universalists. (Maybe I'd better peel off the faded "The Goddess Blesses America Too" bumper sticker from our car.)

Can't do the camera (can barely work my cellphone cam), and I'll see about digging out a KJV Bible, if only to give me something to clutch (don't think I'm at the Pearl Clutcher post level yet).  What's a Tena lady product?---something like Depends, in case of stress-induced (e.g., giggles) incontinence? A hankie to cover my mouth to hide smirking?

But would you believe this planned visit (am aiming for the 10 am, and if my stomach holds out, might even stay for the 11 am session) is causing a fashion crisis here? I wear skirts or dresses only for job interviews or BIG parties. Got a comfy pair of scrub pants, but finding an OK *top* that was reasonably color-coordinated and not too worn (retired nurse) was tough! Most of the T-shirts in our house are from Pagan-related events, Jimmy Buffett concerts, and/or are, uuuuuuhhh, slightly adult-themed or from definitely adult-oriented groups. (Not a case of NSFW, but they won't likely survive a Google search.)

Are they likely to have handouts available? Cheaply-purchased learning materials? (Will probably HAVE to drop a buck or so in the collection plate: it's the cost of learning.)

Off to shower now and fix that darned bumper sticker---will try and check again before I leave. (It's only about 10 minutes from my house.)  Be ready to cover me, dear colleagues: I'm going in!

[smittykins]

You'll have to have your restorative beverages afterwards; Baptist churches use grape juice at Communion.

[Palimpsest]

10 minutes ago, samira_catlover said:

European correspondent? I'm US-born, and in MD. Was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran and now identify as a Goddess-worshipping Pagan who occasionally churches up with the Unitarian Universalists. (Maybe I'd better peel off the faded "The Goddess Blesses America Too" bumper sticker from our car.)

Can't do the camera (can barely work my cellphone cam), and I'll see about digging out a KJV Bible, if only to give me something to clutch (don't think I'm at the Pearl Clutcher post level yet).  What's a Tena lady product?---something like Depends, in case of stress-induced (e.g., giggles) incontinence? A hankie to cover my mouth to hide smirking?

But would you believe this planned visit (am aiming for the 10 am, and if my stomach holds out, might even stay for the 11 am session) is causing a fashion crisis here? I wear skirts or dresses only for job interviews or BIG parties. Got a comfy pair of scrub pants, but finding an OK *top* that was reasonably color-coordinated and not too worn (retired nurse) was tough! Most of the T-shirts in our house are from Pagan-related events, Jimmy Buffett concerts, and/or are, uuuuuuhhh, slightly adult-themed or from definitely adult-oriented groups. (Not a case of NSFW, but they won't likely survive a Google search.)

Are they likely to have handouts available? Cheaply-purchased learning materials? (Will probably HAVE to drop a buck or so in the collection plate: it's the cost of learning.)

Off to shower now and fix that darned bumper sticker---will try and check again before I leave. (It's only about 10 minutes from my house.)  Be ready to cover me, dear colleagues: I'm going in!

Oh, I'm so sorry!  I was completely confusing you with someone else - who is in Scotland!  I shouldn't post before I have enough coffee. 

I would just go as yourself and wear pants with a plain top or Jimmy Buffett concert T-shirt - not a Pagan related one.  You don't want to attract attention from any rabid proselytizers!

The Bible is so that you can pretend to study it earnestly if people try to convert you before the talk starts.  Just look up at them with a confused look on your face and politely ask them not to interrupt your Bible time. It never fails.

[EmiGirl]

It's sounds more like prosperity gospel than fundyism. 

[gibbsgirls]

4 hours ago, samira_catlover said:

OK, there's only like 105K people in my whole county, so you can imagine my startled reaction to see a quarter-page ad in our little local newspaper, with a "multi-millionaire philanthropist" coming to speak (today) at a Baptist church near me.

His qualifications (selected from the ad): "After his salvation, his application of Biblical principles to business and finance made him a success at making money and giving money to God's work." Other claims: financial founder of 10 Bible colleges, over 1,000 churches, gifts in excess of $35 million (USD, I assume) to ministries, etc.

Dear FJites, have I mentioned recently that Google is my TOTALLY BFF, but you guys are way near the top?....His name: Dr. Russell Anderson.  

I don't know much about the IFB groups, but when a FJ search indicated that the Pissing Preacher was a graduate of his college, I was SEVERELY tempted to attend.

Three sessions today (10 am Eastern US, 11 am, and 6:30 pm). Do I give up some precious Farmville time to learn about his teaching on Christian Stewardship? If I go, should I take a notebook? A bodyguard? A triple-swig of the communion wine, because I'll need it? Rescue ferrets? Inquiring minds like mine want to know!

OMG!  I saw this ad too and was thinking about going.  Only can do the evening session.  If you're up for the 6:30 session would love to meet another FJite.  I do agree with @EmiGirl that this is prosperity gospel and not fundyism. 

[polecat]

Russell Anderson ... like ... the founder of Hyles-Anderson College? Hyles-Anderson College in Hammond, Ind., of ephebophile Jack Schaap fame? 

 

If you go, take some rescue ferrets and a flare gun. And maybe an army of foul-mouthed feminists jic.

1 hour ago, EmiGirl said:

It's sounds more like prosperity gospel than fundyism. 

Oh, no, if this guy is the Russell Anderson I'm thinking of, the one associated with Jack Hyles, he's a fundy of the highest order.

[gibbsgirls]

13 minutes ago, polecat said:

Oh, no, if this guy is the Russell Anderson I'm thinking of, the one associated with Jack Hyles, he's a fundy of the highest order.

I may have to go then.  Need to find appropriate clothing though. Hopefully, I can report back tonight.

[samira_catlover]

1 hour ago, gibbsgirls said:

OMG!  I saw this ad too and was thinking about going.  Only can do the evening session.  If you're up for the 6:30 session would love to meet another FJite.  I do agree with @EmiGirl that this is prosperity gospel and not fundyism. 

Hon, I just survived the 10 am and 11 am---and they invited me back for the 6:30.  Are you still available?  (I can always say my schedule opened up, and I found a couple friends....) Will be on here for a couple hours, catching up on Facebook and stuff. 

Anybody else interested in making the night session? If so, will go back---but I'm not doing it 3x/day on my lonesome!

If y'all will send over the Rescue Ferrets with headache remedies and LOTS of chocolate, will get my caffeine here at McD---but glad extra ferrets have been put into reserve, because it's shaping up like a crazy day.

And @polecat: it IS the RA of Hyles-Anderson College!!!---the current minister there is a HAC graduate, and it's def olde-fashioned Indy Baptist, KJV.  Who's up to a road trip?

I took notes and grabbed some pamphlets, but really, DO need to stop trembling before updating y'all with all the goodies.

[EmiGirl]

 Thanks for taking one for the team,  @samira_catlover

[samira_catlover]

Am going to try and give y'all a few samples to whet your appetites **carefully lays out bait to try and get some accountability buddies**; may end up repeating myself a bit when doing in-depth recap later.

• Shades of Ex-Gay Greg! Dr. Russell Anderson has slogan-embroidered cuffs on this white shirts.  Today's was something like "Serving Only Jesus".
• There have been only 4 people in all history who have done face-to-face evangelism to over 1 million people (that's the US million: 1,000,000). They are Dwight Moody, Billy Sunday, Billy Graham...and Jack Hyles.
• He lives wintertimes in Hawaii, and summertimes in Ann Arbor, MI. (Mentioned he had a big house by a golf course, but sold it after his wife died, and now he has a condo.)  Also has big flashy jewelry (2 diamond rings--looked more Texan than Kentuckian) that he said were worth $150,000.
• I know little about "prosperity gospel", but he did mention several times about tithing to God, and that God would reward you well. He currently claims to have tithed no less than 50% of his money for some years now.

More in a bit: can somebody pack a few antinausea meds onto a spare ferret? Thanks!

[apple1]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

Russell Anderson ... like ... the founder of Hyles-Anderson College? Hyles-Anderson College in Hammond, Ind., of ephebophile Jack Schaap fame? 

 

If you go, take some rescue ferrets and a flare gun. And maybe an army of foul-mouthed feminists jic.

Oh, no, if this guy is the Russell Anderson I'm thinking of, the one associated with Jack Hyles, he's a fundy of the highest order.

And SAnderson dropped out of Hyles Anderson College. He did not graduate.

[Gobsmacked]

5 hours ago, samira_catlover said:

European correspondent? I'm US-born, and in MD. Was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran and now identify as a Goddess-worshipping Pagan who occasionally churches up with the Unitarian Universalists. (Maybe I'd better peel off the faded "The Goddess Blesses America Too" bumper sticker from our car.)

Can't do the camera (can barely work my cellphone cam), and I'll see about digging out a KJV Bible, if only to give me something to clutch (don't think I'm at the Pearl Clutcher post level yet).  What's a Tena lady product?---something like Depends, in case of stress-induced (e.g., giggles) incontinence? A hankie to cover my mouth to hide smirking?

But would you believe this planned visit (am aiming for the 10 am, and if my stomach holds out, might even stay for the 11 am session) is causing a fashion crisis here? I wear skirts or dresses only for job interviews or BIG parties. Got a comfy pair of scrub pants, but finding an OK *top* that was reasonably color-coordinated and not too worn (retired nurse) was tough! Most of the T-shirts in our house are from Pagan-related events, Jimmy Buffett concerts, and/or are, uuuuuuhhh, slightly adult-themed or from definitely adult-oriented groups. (Not a case of NSFW, but they won't likely survive a Google search.)

Are they likely to have handouts available? Cheaply-purchased learning materials? (Will probably HAVE to drop a buck or so in the collection plate: it's the cost of learning.)

Off to shower now and fix that darned bumper sticker---will try and check again before I leave. (It's only about 10 minutes from my house.)  Be ready to cover me, dear colleagues: I'm going in!

We are with you. Good luck in huge dollops. Please report back ASAP. De-brief hugs will be available. 

.

. For your De-briefing session.

once again , good luck.

[Mary C Doates]

That would be de-brief side hugs, of course. Good luck.!

[Gobsmacked]

1 hour ago, samira_catlover said:

Hon, I just survived the 10 am and 11 am---and they invited me back for the 6:30.  Are you still available?  (I can always say my schedule opened up, and I found a couple friends....) Will be on here for a couple hours, catching up on Facebook and stuff. 

Anybody else interested in making the night session? If so, will go back---but I'm not doing it 3x/day on my lonesome!

If y'all will send over the Rescue Ferrets with headache remedies and LOTS of chocolate, will get my caffeine here at McD---but glad extra ferrets have been put into reserve, because it's shaping up like a crazy day.

And @polecat: it IS the RA of Hyles-Anderson College!!!---the current minister there is a HAC graduate, and it's def olde-fashioned Indy Baptist, KJV.  Who's up to a road trip?

I took notes and grabbed some pamphlets, but really, DO need to stop trembling before updating y'all with all the goodies.

Well done. You done well girl!! 

Thankyou for taking one for the team.

[albanuadh_1]

Jack Schaap? Is that the guy who kept stroking a sword or a yardstick over and over again on some youtube video?

 

[polecat]

20 minutes ago, albanuadh_1 said:

Jack Schaap? Is that the guy who kept stroking a sword or a yardstick over and over again on some youtube video?

 

 

 

 

It was a shaft. He was polishing it.

 

eta: And god, I wish I was being facetious, but it really was a shaft, and he really was demonstrating his "polishing" technique.

[samira_catlover]

More tasty tidbits!

• Hillary Clinton has GOT to be a total wimpy wuss: she had only 956,573 miles of travel as Secretary of State...over 4 years. Dr. Anderson said he typically does over 3 million miles a year.   Someone help me check my math!---3,000,000 divided by 350 (days a year: you've GOT to have a little time off), comes out as 8571.429 miles/day.  The air distance between NYC and Honolulu is 4959.39 miles;  NY to Vientiane, Laos is just under 8400 miles. Seems like you'd be LIVING on the airplane.... http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/01/hillary-clinton-traveled-956-733-miles-during-her-time-as-secretary-of-state/272656/
• The 2 presentations were somewhat different.  Ten am was in place of Sunday School, and there was a LOT more talk about money and how God had blessed him and stuff.  The 11 am was modestly attended--maybe 50-60 people (rather than the 30 or so earlier; church holds maybe 100 in my guess).  Since it's Mother's Day in the US, of course he had to make appropriate comments.  Proverbs 31? Mary's willingness to submit to God's will? Righteous and pious mothers like Hannah, Jochebed, Elizabeth?----naaaahhhh. Lots of talk about being obedient to God and how David and Solomon were blessed as a result.
• Oh, and while praising mommies for all the work they had done for years--we found out that if Mom gave you one set of clean clothes every day, by the time you were 10, she'd have provided over 11,000 changes for you. [sic] He repeated this...twice.
• They're supporting over 250 "Bible scholars" in full-time evangelism (sounds like a good 40-hr week or more) in Mexico (about 83% Roman Catholic, 8% Protestant)  and in the Philippines (about 87% RC, 3% Protestant). Despite this formidable opposition, those students are averaging over 4,000 people saved per DAY. Say a 250-day work year (to allow for their own studies, travel time, chores, etc.)---that comes to a million people saved per year---those kids are averaging 4,000 converts EACH per year. Grifter John Shrader must be soooooooo jealous.
• He also said Mexico City was the largest in the world in terms of people. According to the 2007 stats, it's actually 5th (17.4 million).  Tokyo/Yokohama is nearly twice as big at 33.2 million, followed by New York Metro, Sao Paulo, Seoul/Inchon. http://www.citymayors.com/statistics/largest-cities-population-125.html  SOTDRT geography fail, maybe?

Anybody know yet if they're going to be able to come out for the 6:30 pm session tonight? I really don't want to go alone, just Too Much Fun in one day is not good, and the Rescue Ferrets might not be able to chew through the ropes if I'm taken captive. Will be watching this thread about another 2 hours and would appreciate a tag if you're going.

[gibbsgirls]

I'm definitely going now.  Just have to hear this wack job.

 

[samira_catlover]

5 minutes ago, gibbsgirls said:

I'm definitely going now.  Just have to hear this wack job.

 

Just sent you a text in response to the PM---but manohman and womanohwoman, I am SLOOOOOOOOOOW on texting. (Kids---sheesh.) Am gonna hang out at the restaurant and work on stuff just before 6 pm--it's maybe 15  mins away. 

[Palimpsest]

I am eagerly awaiting your report @samira_catlover, @gibbsgirls and anyone else who braves this.  Thank you.

5 hours ago, EmiGirl said:

It's sounds more like prosperity gospel than fundyism. 

To me prosperity theology is Fundyism or, at the very least, Fundie-lite but MMV.  Many "mainstream" Evangelical churches denounce Prosperity theology as heresy.

1 hour ago, albanuadh_1 said:

Jack Schaap? Is that the guy who kept stroking a sword or a yardstick over and over again on some youtube video?

 

Yes.  He's also incarcerated for transporting a minor over state lines in order to have sex with her.  Or was, last time I looked.

ETA - this may be the first time the rescue ferrets have been asked to carry anti-nausea stuff.  They usually carry booze!

[albanuadh_1]

That video was so slimy!

[samira_catlover]

9 minutes ago, albanuadh_1 said:

That video was so slimy!

We kin haz links, plz???

>>ETA - this may be the first time the rescue ferrets have been asked to carry anti-nausea stuff.  They usually carry booze!<<

@Palimpsest: Number one, I don't think there's enough booze in the DC greater metro area to do the job! Anyway, I kinda LIKE my liver reasonably intact---those services this am were tough enough on my stomach.