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Fundie Retreat to Marry Off Children ~ Vaughn Ohlman


Leftitinmysnood

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Leftitinmysnood

Well, since those quiverfull kids aren't getting married fast enough, Vaughn Ohlman has decided to have a retreat to gather all the unwed single people together and pair them off. http://letthemmarry.org/gtm-retreat

Money quotes include, "We are not attempting to limit our conference to Calvinists, but we feel we owe our participants some kind of assurance that they are coming to meet with other Christians."

In all broad mindedness, they accept that daughters may come without a headship, but a young man interested in pursuing her must speak to one of the staff about his intentions.

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Maybe they're waiting for the kind denizens of FJ to come up with lecture titles. I'll start... "It's like Legos: horrifying analogies that will fail to keep your kids from having sex or walking

And they say romance is dead.....

Now wait just a minute ... Nope.  I'm a Christian, and so are quite a few of my fellow FJers. We are anti-fundamentalist Christians and anti-blasphemous Christians (those Christians who put thems

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genever

BRB - off to get me some godly husbands. Think he'd be down with me ordering half a dozen or so? I want to make sure I'm well supplied.

 

Edited because of Tapatalk gremlins. 

Edited by genever
Tapatalk gremlins.
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Howl

Lots of time for networking!  Nothing like the marriage meat market approach to matchmaking.  Sheltered kids with no social skills.  No awkwardness there.  None at all!    Lots of praying and reading bible verses, I bet. 

Too bad they don't do some type of eHarmony questionnaire so at least the participants know who they might be compatible with.....Um, to the extent that any of these kids have been allowed to develop individual personalities and likes and dislikes.  

Young, fruitful marriage.  Like, how young?

Edited by Howl
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DomWackTroll

God, I miss seeing Vaughn's crazy-ass posts on the Reconstructionist Theonomists Facebook page (they closed the group). And Nathaniel Darnell's pathetic attempts to rein in Vaughn's cray. Good times. 

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Leftitinmysnood
24 minutes ago, Howl said:

 

Young, fruitful marriage.  Like, how young?

Like not "wallowing in barren fruitlessness" young. Pretty sure he's ok with teen marriage.

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Coconut Flan

At least someone is openly acknowledging the problem they've created and has taken a stab at a solution.  I'm still waiting for the fundie matchmakers to open shop.

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Leftitinmysnood

Also, I can't imagine the offspring are allowed to talk to each other much. This is about daddies making handshakes. Much more open to judging by looks than the faxed courtship solicitations my fil used to get for Mr. Snood.

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ViolaSebastian

I can't begin to imagine the awkwardness that awaits the young singles who need to "overcome the barriers" that are keeping them single. The place will reek of fumbling, desperation, and cheap cologne. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall...

Oh lord, this is there minimum definition of marriage: 

Quote

a lifelong sexual relationship that is always open to the blessing of children.

Yep, no need for respect or commitment or a promise in front of God and witnesses, or, hell, love...just a sexual relationship with no birth control. By that definition it could be someone who is a longtime, steady customer to a particular prostitute...:?

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Its almost tempting for me to signup for this event....but then Id have no escape from their craziness for 3 days. What to do, what to do....

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Furbabies
2 hours ago, Leftitinmysnood said:

Well, since those quiverfull kids aren't getting married fast enough, Vaughn Ohlman has decided to have a retreat to gather all the unwed single people together and pair them off. http://letthemmarry.org/gtm-retreat

Money quotes include, "We are not attempting to limit our conference to Calvinists, but we feel we owe our participants some kind of assurance that they are coming to meet with other Christians."

In all broad mindedness, they accept that daughters may come without a headship, but a young man interested in pursuing her must speak to one of the staff about his intentions.

OMG I live right near there!  

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Cleopatra7

The only thing surprising about this event is that it doesn't happen more often. The reason why it doesn't is probably because these sorts of parents don't trust their children to go to the grocery store alone, much less engage in a fundie version of speed dating. When you constantly drum it into your kidults heads that they are safest at home under an umbrella of protection or whatever the Calvinist equivalent is and sex is more often than not a one way ticket to hell, then there's no motivation for them to marryor leave home. This is why I think Sarah Maxwell is perfectly content where she is, because I believe that she is convinced that her father is the only thing protecting her from Satan and the ungodly outside world. While asexuality is a distinct possibility, a more likely scenario is that she's suppressed her sexuality to the point where it is nonexistent.

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nickelodeon

Kansas is Maxwell territory, right? Sarah and company would NEVER.

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BullyJBG
3 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Kansas is Maxwell territory, right? Sarah and company would NEVER.

  Interesting. Very, very interesting.........

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Furbabies
5 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Kansas is Maxwell territory, right? Sarah and company would NEVER.

Leavenworth is far from Wichita.   Well, three hours far.

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Marian the Librarian

Ah yes - this is what I like to call "fundie booty call."

I wonder if the Botkinettes will attend...

Edited by Marian the Librarian
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16strong
7 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Ah yes - this is what I like to call "fundie booty call."

I wonder if the Botkinettes will attend...

Nonsense! They're the Botkins. They don't need an event like that to attract godly young men for marriage.

 

...Oh.

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genever
10 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Ah yes - this is what I like to call "fundie booty call."

(extremely loud snort)

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dramallama

I would pay at least 1 (one) dollar to be a fly on the wall at this shit-show.

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nickelodeon

I have my doubts that the event will pan out, tbh; how many families are there who are willing to shell out over a thousand dollars for the opportunity to watch their kid awkwardly ask randos if he is allowed to talk to their daughters?

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molecule
 We will be having some teaching/testimony times, some 'icebreaker' games, and maybe just plain fun running around

Sounds too much like youth group for the Maxwells to attend.

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hollyandivy
32 minutes ago, dramallama said:

I would pay at least 1 (one) dollar to be a fly on the wall at this shit-show.

I think they would have to pay ME in order to listen to that craziness!

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Leftitinmysnood

I think this smells of desperation and Vaughn - boy isn't humble enough to add "serving in singleness" to his ministry topics.

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SpurgeonSquarepants
2 hours ago, nickelodeon said:

I have my doubts that the event will pan out, tbh; how many families are there who are willing to shell out over a thousand dollars for the opportunity to watch their kid awkwardly ask randos if he is allowed to talk to their daughters?

No kidding!! You know that they're intending on making a killing if they can attract large families with many kids, charging for all except those under 3.

The only things they have listed on their sad itinerary was food. All else TBD. I want names of speakers! Titles of lectures! Meat and potatoes!

How is a list of nothing supposed to attract these fundies to want to pay that kind of money? Smh. Someone should let them know they're doing it wrong..

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