Amy Jordan Duggar Jordan Duggar King Duggar Wedding Part 4 AKA Amy and Dillon King

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, eye_browz said:

Amy's childhood secret revealed:

Her mother left suicide notes for her to find.

Her father told her that she was a mistake.

She used to spend most of her time outside so that she didn't have to hear her parents fighting.

She had a happy cheerful attitude to cover up her pain.

So nothing more than a lot of us have had to deal with. I mean other than the suicide notes. I didn't have that. 

[RosyDaisy]

So now Amy is throwing her parents under the bus. Whose next? Grandma? Amy, just stop. Grow the fuck up and get a real job.

[Bad Wolf]

That's sad, but I wish she'd got proper therapy instead of a rea!ity show. Airing that publicly doesn't help heal, it just puts a big rift between her and her family.

[grandmadugger]

I will do my full recap tomorrow I have it on DVR but don't want it to kill the nice buzz I have. Amy appears to want her cake and eat it too. She wants the fame her extended family can provide but is willing to sell them out for a quick buck. I think she wants a relationship with at least her cousins but fails to see why her aunt and uncle may not want her around. I honestly don't blame them, I wouldn't want someone in my home that would sell anything that happened to the tabloids. She wants Dillon to be sweet and loving but criticizes him when he tries. I get she might have some issues but you don't go on TV to solve them. She's damaging relationships instead of helping repair them.  

[Jinder Roles]

Amy's obviously not dealing with her issues in a healthy way...that's pretty common. I mostly feel sorry for her. it sounds like she's never felt comfortable voicing her issues/feelings and now doing it in an inappropriate manner. It also sounds like she has some deep-seated anger at her parents and is being passive-aggressive & self-sabotaging

I personally feel like we're often too qyick to discount  Amy's dysfunctional behaviour because we assume she had a less damaging childhood than her relatives but we honestly don't know if that's true or not. Sounds like whatever happened to her impacted her deeply. I too think dealing with Her issues off-screen would benefit her.

p.s: we have no way of knowing if Amy leaked to the tabloids and I really don't like when we accuse her of it with no evidence.

 

 

[Kittikatz]

I'm not a fan of Amy, and while I question the wisdom of anyone who appears  and spills their guts for everyone to see on reality TV, she's an adult, and she has a right to speak her truth in whatever venue/format she so chooses. In speaking out like this, she also has to deal with the consequences.

I don't doubt that Amy had her fair of sh*t to deal with while growing up and may well be hurting from it. I remember when I was between about 21 and 25 years old and had just started to process the amount of abuse I had gone through and how emotionally repressed I had to be growing up, and I was so very angry at my parents that it was scary. I was flailing around, lashing out and being a stroppy cow about it all. If I could have thrown them under the metaphorical bus by appearing on TV, I would have, not because it would help, but because, in some weird way, it would have made me feel better if the world knew how I felt and what I experienced at the hands of my family. Not logical, but I wanted people to acknowledge my hidden pain, and part of me wanted my parents to suffer some of what I felt. Amy might be in the same realisation phase that I went through, and splattering her mental state around on the platforms available to her instead of on a therapist's couch.

Also, we don't know that Amy leaked anything about the Duggars to the media. That's pure speculation. It could have been any number of other people, or Jimboob may have done what a lot of wanna be celebrities do and leaked things to get press.

[HarleyQuinn]

I don't deny Amy probably had issues growing up, and like Kittkatz said, if I were younger and offered money I probably would've blasted my parents publicly too. But Amy's what, 31? She's too old for that reckless thinking. Saying her mom left her suicide notes on national TV is in poor taste and I have to question if she'll even have a good relationship with her moving forward. 

[GreenTea]

If it's true then say it. I don't think it's healthy to hide secrets or "forgive and forget" real damaging things that happened to you or you were involved in. That causes more secrets and it's all downhill from there.   

A lot of people seem to be saying "don't say it on TV" and I can understand that, but I'm still in the camp of say it aloud, wherever that may be, if it's true. Next it might be "don't say it in front of friends" then "don't say it in front of family" and then it easily turns into "don't say it." 

A dark family secret. And the Duggars should have learned those dark, closeted secrets have a way of finding the light of day.  No hiding facts. 

[Carm_88]

3 hours ago, GreenTea said:

If it's true then say it. I don't think it's healthy to hide secrets or "forgive and forget" real damaging things that happened to you or you were involved in. That causes more secrets and it's all downhill from there.   

A lot of people seem to be saying "don't say it on TV" and I can understand that, but I'm still in the camp of say it aloud, wherever that may be, if it's true. Next it might be "don't say it in front of friends" then "don't say it in front of family" and then it easily turns into "don't say it." 

A dark family secret. And the Duggars should have learned those dark, closeted secrets have a way of finding the light of day.  No hiding facts. 

I don't think Amy should not say it. I think that she should say in the privacy of a real professional's office who will actually help her. Not on some TV show with some Dr. Phil like quack. Real therapy doesn't happen on tv. 

[MayMay1123]

12 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

I was flailing around, lashing out and being a stroppy cow about it all.

i have never heard the term "stroppy cow" before (had to google it!) but it is fantastic...now i need to find a way to work it into a conversation!

[grandmadugger]

Amy and Dillon are getting more airtime today than in the past. Amy was worried that another gal was going to stab the other women in the kitchen because the gal had a knife and was getting upset. Dillon said he gets a little excited about the call to the therapy room. They are going to talk about their parents with someone besides their partner. 

Dillon's mom left his dad. It was the only time he saw his dad cry. He's being very matter of fact no emotion. Amy is already crying or trying too. Her parents fought a lot. In a TH she said her mom wasn't capable of doing a lot of things people take for granted. The last thing she wants to do is be compared to someone with severe depression. There were times she would write notes saying I can't be your mom anymore. It traumatized Amy. It would be so loud and crazy in the house she would sleep on the trampoline. She would go to Amy land and be super positive. It makes her feel like she had no childhood at all. 

Neither were shown talking about their dads. 

[grandmadugger]

Time for the next exercise. They bring out a kid that's supposed to be Amy as a little kid. The little girl says all the fighting is her fault because her dad said she was a mistake. When she grows up I am going to be happy all the time. She will never write suicide notes like her mom did. Amy is smiling through this. She says it makes a lot of sense. 

Dillon's mini me comes out. He says he knows his parents love him because he has things other kids at school don't have. When asked if his parents marriage is good he says his mom just left his dad. She won't talk about it. Adult Dillon points out that his parents didn't divorce until he was an adult. He said his dad didn't show a lot of emotion. Dillon is also pointing out that he didn't make fun of other kids. The therapist said we didn't say you made fun of them but you flaunted it. Amy points out how he likes nice things and it makes him feel powerful. The therapist says it comes across as look at me look at what I got. 

[grandmadugger]

The judge says that Dillon's presentation to the world is his guard. 

Amy asks Dillon to have a little chat. Dillon doesn't want to have a fight. Amy brings up his ego. Dillon says he understands she needed to be broke down and amy tells him she thinks he needed to be. He gets up and says he's changing. Amy doesn't think he is aware of how he talks down to her. Amy is going off about something mean he has said. I missed it unless she's talking about the broken down comment. The therapist have said that they need to break them down to build them back up. Dillon goes to the confession cam and says he's tired of the yapping. They end with Amy walking up to Dillon's side of the bed saying are you serious what is that shit. 

Previews show Amy dropping the f bomb. 

[SweetFellowshipper]

On ‎1‎/‎26‎/‎2017 at 4:10 PM, Coconut Flan said:

I hope the money from the show was worth whatever trauma and disruption in the family is has brought up/created.

If those things really happened, the trauma was caused by her childhood, not Amy speaking the truth about it.

I have to say I expected these kinds of reactions from FJ because Amy is not likeable, but it's still pretty upsetting.

To the outside world, I looked extremely spoiled and seemed like I had a 'normal' childhood. Behind the scenes I was deeply psychologically and physically abused to the point that I now have CPTSD. I still speak to my parents and have a relationship with them because abusers aren't monsters under your bed or crazed lunatics in thrillers, they are real people that you can still love and understand even if they did incredibly fucked up things, and who often have dealt with toxicity, poverty or abuse themselves. *YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ANYONE BASED ON THEIR PUBLIC PERSONA. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ANYONE BASED ON WHEN OR WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TELL THEIR STORY.* And why the hell SHOULD someone have to hide their abuse or pain? To satisfy and hide their abusers? I don't get the reality TV stuff either and I think it's weird, and it would never be my personal choice, but why is it Amy's fault for sharing her pain rather than the fault of the people who caused it? That just sounds like silencing and victim blaming to me. Even if part of her motivation is fame or money, that doesn't make the stories any less true. They aren't related in any way.

And I'm sorry, how in the world do ANY of us know if she had a 'normal' childhood? What, because she was raised in suburbs, went to school, and had birthday parties? Abuse doesn't have to be total isolation and incest to be abuse or to be severe (and I don't think she actually made anything seem overly severe in the show; she said her mother's depression and suicidal ideation affected her deeply and that her parents' fighting scared her. I'm really missing what the hell is wrong with any of that). Not everything is an 8:00 news story with starved kids kept in closets with matted hair. Abuse is on a spectrum; trauma is on a spectrum; people who seem totally 'normal' can sometimes be horribly toxic. I wasn't raised in a cult but I sure as fuck did not have a normal childhood. That applies to literally millions of kids who were also abused or traumatized.

Personally I don't like a lot of attention, so even if offered the chance or if I was in a position as a public figure to be open about it, I would never write about my abuse publicly or go on a TV show and talk about it, but that doesn't make me a 'better' victim. If I did, it would be my parents' fault, not mine.

[Coconut Flan]

25 minutes ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

If those things really happened, the trauma was caused by her childhood, not Amy speaking the truth about it.

Please note:  I posted that before the episode aired. 

I don't think Amy "speaking truth" though is the real issue.  Amy may have spoken to her parents about this many times before or never.  We don't know. 

I believe there are Amy's version, her mother's version, and her father's version. The actual truth is unknown to us.  She's also making money by making these statements on a faux reality show.  If she has deep seated issues, she needs to deal with them and broadcasting them as entertainment will not help her resolve them and definitely won't help with any conflicts with her parents. I'm not saying it sweep it under the rug, but handle them appropriately.  I think that of all participants in those kinds of shows though. 

[SweetFellowshipper]

6 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Please note:  I posted that before the episode aired. 

I don't think Amy "speaking truth" though is the real issue.  Amy may have spoken to her parents about this many times before or never.  We don't know. 

I believe there are Amy's version, her mother's version, and her father's version. The actual truth is unknown to us.  She's also making money by making these statements on a faux reality show.  If she has deep seated issues, she needs to deal with them and broadcasting them as entertainment will not help her resolve them and definitely won't help with any conflicts with her parents. I'm not saying it sweep it under the rug, but handle them appropriately.  I think that of all participants in those kinds of shows though. 

I guess, though they could speak about it if they wanted and we do know for a fact there was a great deal of conflict between them and a nasty divorce a few years ago (with Terry claiming about Deanna, “[t]he Defendant has treated the Plaintiff with such indignities as to render his condition in life intolerable"). and Amy was a child and was thus not an equal accountable partner in the whole thing. Of course I suppose she could be lying, but they could easily make a public statement and based on their history I think it's unlikely that it's wholly untrue.

I don't have a moral issue with someone making $ off of talking about their trauma, though I wouldn't do it myself, but that's a different issue.

[SweetFellowshipper]

Also, though we don't know for sure if Amy's parents have spoken with her about it, we also don't know if she has asked them for conversations or therapy and they've refused to address it or denied any problem, a common issue when a home situation is toxic. We just don't know. So I'm not ready to pass judgment when there's no tangible reason not to believe it.

I just want to point out that we hated that the Duggar girls hid and then denied their abuse. They said they'd already dealt with it privately as a family and didn't want to again. They and their parents got absolutely reamed. That was not OK with anyone. I understood that on some level. But they were wrong for the way they expressed their feelings about abuse on TV, and went on TV without explicitly talking about it, and wanted to deal with it privately and not in public on a reality show...And now this story of abuse is also wrong and doubtworthy? Because...It's on TV? Hmm. 

I'm sorry, but there is no "right" way to come out about abuse. This is why people don't come out about abuse. They get shamed no matter what they do. Public or private, denying or sharing openly, they get picked apart and their stories doubted. They are acting self centered, it couldn't have been THAT bad, it shouldn't be public, it's the wrong outlet, why DIDN'T you share it before, etc etc. We don't get to decide exactly how, why, when, or if someone shares their story.

[Carm_88]

If Amy did suffer abuse, I hope she's getting real help and not just the tv kind because as I said quacks, that is not going to help her get over any trauma in the long run. They are going to pull out her deepest darkest secrets for viewers and probably leave her to pick up the pieces. She needs to get real help from someone who specializes in this type of trauma. 

[SweetFellowshipper]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

If Amy did suffer abuse, I hope she's getting real help and not just the tv kind because as I said quacks, that is not going to help her get over any trauma in the long run. They are going to pull out her deepest darkest secrets for viewers and probably leave her to pick up the pieces. She needs to get real help from someone who specializes in this type of trauma. 

I do know that the woman on the show has a PhD in clinical psychology and the guy is an MD/board certified psychiatrist. I don't approve of the show personally and I MAJORLY question its ethics, but the people themselves are highly trained. 

Whatever the case, I hope that whatever the show might have done for her or not done for her, she does have follow up care. 

[grandmadugger]

Amy never said she was abused.  I don't think hearing your parents fight is abuse.  Her mom did post that not everything that was aired Friday was true.  Her mom has never denied the fights between her and Terry so that leads me to believe she was talking about the suicide notes. 

There is something very off with Amy on this show. All of the other women cried when talking about their childhood and many of the guys did too Amy fake cried. There was no sign of tears even though her voice suggested it. It was either bad acting or she can't show emotion. I lean towards bad acting. 

[GreyhoundFan]

On 1/27/2017 at 9:00 AM, Carm_88 said:

I just think that if Amy truly had a problem with things in her childhood then she should have gone to a therapist of a psychiatrist. She should not have gone on tv and blasted whatever issue it was. As I said, I'm not saying she didn't have a bad childhood but for the love of god, stop making yourself Famy. The desperate cousin who wants attention. 

I agree. None of us know what really happened, and as was said by others, there are multiple perceptions of everything that happened or didn't happen. I do think that Famy, along with many others, would do better if she had competent mental health therapy in a private setting. That setting can involve family members, if necessary. A long run of therapy helped me so much, and my mother attended several sessions, so we could work through some of our issues. I've talked publicly about some of the issues, but most remain between me, the Psychologist, and my mother. I can't imagine going on a "reality show" to air my dirty laundry. I'd rather work three crummy jobs than do that.

 

 

[RosyDaisy]

There's something else going with Amy besides being a famewhore. What that something is, I don't know.

[actuallyjessica]

Same could be said for many of the bitter bitches on this board, tbh.

[RosyDaisy]

Bitter? No. I have nothing to be bitter about. But I won't hesitate to call out fundies for the horrible things they do.

[smallestneal]

How and if people choose to share their trauma is up to them, and I obviously have no idea how much of what Amy said was true, but (and with this I admit my deepest shame--that I have been watching this show out of morbid curiosity, HA) one thing that Amy said that really, really bothered me was "The one thing I NEVER want to be compared to is someone with clinical depression" or words to that effect. Like, ok, if it's true that her mom was suicidal I can understand this to a point and perhaps she misspoke or clumsily worded what she was saying, but at face value that makes me...really upset. I have major depression (along with/due to a couple other psychiatrist-assigned acronyms) and, I dunno, it just made me feel really bad. Is this how some people think of me? Again, I don't know exactly what she meant by that or if all of her story was even true (according to Amy's mom it wasn't, but who knows), but still.