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Lori Alexander- the Mindless Mentor: Part 8


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Lori is letting Michael Pearl speak for her today.

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Treat everyone you meet as if they are Christian brothers and sisters who are dear to you. In short, love them as they have never been loved.

 
 

Well, Lori flicked her babies and locked her kids in their rooms for hours at a time. So treating non-Christians as people she loves dearly shouldn't be that hard ... but golly, I hope she doesn't walk up to strangers to start flicking them in the face.

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Be continually joyful. Everyone is attracted to joy and no one will fault you for it. They will want what you have.

I have to admit -- I really don't want anything that sour-faced woman has. I have never seen an ounce of joy out of her.

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Be successful. Be the best at whatever you do. Everyone admires success and sincere effort. They will respect you for it.

Ken may have monetary success. That's the only kind of success those two have. I don't really admire it or respect him for it, though. I think he's worked hard all these years to keep his wife off his back. If anything, I feel sorry for him. I don't think either of them have ever had the opportunity to really enjoy the fruits of his labor. (HIS labor. Not hers.)

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Be helpful. Infuse something good into the lives of everyone you meet. 

Lori, what helpful things have you EVER done? Shared your housekeeper once? Perhaps. But then you gossiped about the woman you helped. That rather negates the help, imo.

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Make them feel better about themselves in a clean and pure way.

I've seen too many mean girl-style pile-ons to believe you care much about making people feel better about themselves.

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Be generous. When others see you giving, they will recognize God in it.

Generous? This is a woman who declares that children have no business getting a free education or free lunch no matter how impoverished they are, that all they need is a mom at home. No, you are not generous.

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Be gracious and cheerful in your righteousness. Don't be prudish and standoffish in your convictions. When you decline to participate in sin, don't do so in a way that says, "I am better than you, and you are a dog."

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah!!!!!!!! Okay.

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Don't do religious things to be seen of men. Let your righteousness be purity of heart and intention.

Tell me more about how pure your intentions are, Lori.

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14 hours ago, iheartchacos said:

 

I'm raging with her damn hypocrisy about Carly as Cruz's running mate. Someone commented about it and she just said. 'Well, at least it's not president' Of all the crap she spews about women and not comprising...not its ok to vote for a man with a female running mate?!

If she wanted to be honest she could just say that, while it's a tough call because (in her mind) it's a choice between two "evils", she ultimately would rather vote for a conservative woman than for either Clinton or Sanders.

Of course, then she would have to admit that everything isn't always black or white, and that it's sometimes necessary--or even advisable--to compromise. And then her head would explode. 

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41 minutes ago, polecat said:

Lori is letting Michael Pearl speak for her today.

O jeez, this is the "lifestyle evangelism" preached by our former church. They didn't believe in knocking on doors, but by living in a way that would make people want what you have.

It's not about being genuine. It's about being a whitewashed tomb.

4 hours ago, polecat said:

I wonder if Lori realizes that the vice president is second in line to the presidency. So if anything happens to Cruz -- heart attack or what have you -- a woman will be the president.

Probably not. 

Either that, or total head-in-the-sand denial. It goes something like this: Cruz is a godly man, doing god's work for him here on earth, god's choice for "king". Therefore, nothing bad will happen to him while he's in office, necessitating a "Deborah-judge" kind of situation.

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23 hours ago, Loveday said:

I confess, I have two vacuum cleaners. A new-ish one for downstairs, and the old one upstairs, because I'm getting too old to lug heavy machinery up a staircase

I think it's fine if you have a different vacuum cleaner for every room in your house---just don't go online and say that it's more Godly to use a broom! ;)

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OMG where can I go to discuss this dragonfly woman!  Can we start our own threads here or just admins can do that? Obviously I don't want to clog up this place....but in the meanwhile check this out...

Over at the biblicalgenderroles site she is having a dispute with Anna and from what I can tell Anna has been very nice, perhaps overly nice and dragonfly seems to just want to keep picking a fight. These godly woman, wow!

Dragonfly:

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Dragonfly

APRIL 30, 2016 AT 1:39 PM

Anna, you say this, “So I guess when I was saying that i’d love to see a discussion on how to prevent marriage stories like the ones we see on this blog, I was meaning on a more individual basis, and I should have been more clear on that. ”

and yet you feel like I only care about men and their pain (!!!!). LOL… Anna, the majority of my blog is devoted to creating discussions that will prevent problems like this!! Even right now I’m in the middle of spending many hours of my free-time trying to write for women and intentionally targeting women who are in painful marriages. This series will probably take 9-10 weeks!!! And I’ve already had requests to flesh it out to be longer (which is equal parts wonderful and daunting)! Saying I “don’t care” about women, when I’m spending so much of my time writing to and for them, is offensive because its disregarding everything I’m doing right now, and I think you either meant it to be offensive, or didn’t care if it would come across that way (subconsciously), just like you knew, to some degree, that telling the men they were bitter or whining would also more than likely offend them. We know when we’re sayign something that will probably offend someone. You thought the offense would be justified in that you want to “help” them get over it already… what if I had acted like that with that woman with the dying husband? It would not have helped her, but would only have served to make her angry with me and offended, even if I was partially right. Really, I think this behavior (saying something you know will probably offend someone) comes from anger when we try to control people (so that your sister wouldn’t see their behavior or thoughts).

 

I guess she missed Lori's flowchart on being offended?! She is so upset that Anna doesn't appreciated the hours, weeks she spends helping women online. Its like she wants a frickin medal, but hey no one is asking her to do this. 

She goes on and on, making no sense:

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The first thing you learn when writing a blog to help fix marriages, is that you can’t and shouldn’t say whatever you feel about them. You can’t shame the men who are still having a hard time with their marriage or with the way their wife treats them. That doesn’t work with women either, (in fact, you may make women even more offended with these words!) in general, shaming them for “bitterness” or “whining,” doesn’t work because you’re invalidating their experience and pain. They may not be at a place spiritually in order to be confronted with that, so you have to take a much gentler approach. You have to have a lot more self-control and learn how to speak a little more diplomatically so that you don’t completely shut people down or cause them more pain by saying they shouldn’t still be bitter or “whining,” when they’re still being sinned against, with no end in sight.

“but ultimately it doesn’t really matter to me who the majority is, it’s how to actually fix the problem.”

To me and many others, the practical thing to fix this problem, is that we have to focus on fixing what is hurting men (the majority) in this society and in marriage. Trying to say the majority doesn’t matter, is highly unpractical to fixing a problem that is effecting the majority!!! And yes, this means we have to focus a big part on how wives sin against their husbands, because like Jeff and Jonadab said (that you took offense to and started attacking them about), the wives are getting a constant free pass from churches and preachers and Christian friends everywhere. They have no incentive to change at the moment, in general, because of this major problem.

So part of fixing this marriage crisis, is working on the WIVES’ attitude and them becoming truly virtuous women, who love to do their husbands good not evil, all the days of their lives. It’s focusing on helping women learn to not sin so much against their husbands. That’s not taking “the men’s side,” it’s just confronting the real issue head on. If the majority are men being affected by their wive’s selfishness and sins, then we need to confront the ways wives are sinning with practical things that can help them realize it and change. Ignoring the majority, because you said “it doesn’t matter,” sounds a lot like what the feminists think (that men’s issues don’t matter, even if they are the majority having problems right now). It is very wrong and actually cruel. We need to try to see the sexes equally, part of that is being able to admit when it’s become unequal (the majority being hurt being men) and then looking for a solution that may look “unequal” to some people out of touch, but it’s practical because it’s going to re-establish the “equality” between them (meaning it won’t be out of balance anymore). This is what those authors are able to see, and that’s why they write about the war on boys/men. Women and the feminization of society, is what has caused this, the attitudes many women have – have caused this. So fighting for men’s rights isn’t “taking men’s side,” it’s trying to re-establish a society that VALUES men again. Hopefully this makes sense.

And just to be clear, I get misjudged a lot, so I’m not really offended at what you said, just wanted to point out how it doesn’t make sense, and how saying something like that, just like calling the men whiny or bitter, isn’t really helpful in relating to people. At least, not if you really want to help them

 

So after she is done with godly, scolding rant...she decides she isn't offended after all!

 

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@AlwaysDiscerning

*Helpmeet on*

Sure, you can start your own thread. Let me know the link, and I'll move your post from here over to the new thread, if you want. :)

*Helpmeet off*

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23 hours ago, molecule said:

It could be that she is going the self-publishing route. Most major Christian publishers have a branch for self-publishing. Her editor could be a friend she is paying to check her grammar. It might not be as big as she makes it sound. The thought of a book from her makes me ill.

 

12 hours ago, Hisey said:

I am sure it is a self-publisher. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't think anyone gave her a "book deal"

I'm also thinking she is going the self-publishing route. There have been cases of self-published authors hitting big and making a nice profit off their works. One good example would be Amanda Hocking. She was 20 something who self published paranormal romance type novels and hit it big with fans of that genre. Hocking later got a deal with a publisher.

Lori would have an audience, but I don't think it would huge enough to make her very popular. Some conservative Christian would find her too extreme and liberal Christians wouldn't give her the time of day. Her support of the Pearls would be one of the key factors in turning off people and then add in her stupidity on past eras, working women, healthcare, and education. If Lori wants to a reach a larger audience she would step in promoting herself. Many people are using podcasts, vlogs, and Internet radio as way of promoting themselves. I can maybe see Lori attempting to podcast. I would totally listen to snark.

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Should be interesting to watch this so-called book deal ...

Will she plagiarize or won't she? Will she be sued for copyright infringement or won't she? Tune in to find out ... 

 

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10 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

 

Lori would have an audience, but I don't think it would huge enough to make her very popular. Some conservative Christian would find her too extreme and liberal Christians wouldn't give her the time of day. 

Honestly, moderate Christians and Evangelicals, and even a lot of otherwise conservative Christians wouldn't give her the time of day, unless she really modifies her message and/or the way she delivers it.  I go to an Independent Baptist Church where people dress any way they want, many of the women (including the pastor's wife) work, one family home schools, and no one that I'm aware of has ever heard of the Pearls. There are conservative Christians who are caring, reasonable, intelligent people and then there are the whack-a-doodles---and you're right, most of them won't like the way she dresses, among other things. 

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May her book be just as successful as her Romans study.

(In other words, may Ken be the only person to read it)  *Psssttt....Hey Ken, time to say, "Great book babes!"*

:pb_rollseyes:

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45 minutes ago, Koala said:

May her book be just as successful as her Romans study.

(In other words, may Ken be the only person to read it)  *Psssttt....Hey Ken, time to say, "Great book babes!"*

:pb_rollseyes:

He's a little late with last week's--still a big fat 0 in the comments section. 

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14 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

Lori would have an audience, but I don't think it would huge enough to make her very popular. Some conservative Christian would find her too extreme and liberal Christians wouldn't give her the time of day. Her support of the Pearls would be one of the key factors in turning off people and then add in her stupidity on past eras, working women, healthcare, and education.

The problem with her trying to do a book is that she's such a mixed bag.  Wives should totally submit, but not into modest dressing as defined by a large section of that crowd, no tragic circumstances, no large family... she's going to appeal to some, but then turn those same people off with some other stance.

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4 hours ago, polecat said:

Should be interesting to watch this so-called book deal ...

Will she plagiarize or won't she? Will she be sued for copyright infringement or won't she? Tune in to find out ... 

 

I wouldn't be surprised if she plagarized for the book. If she does indeed have a book deal, I hope someone in that company is doing their homework on Lori's history of stealing content from other bloggers.

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She'll probably just put an Acknowledgement at the start saying "Thank you Michael and Debi Pearl for all your inspirational writing. I have based my book on your writings".

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2 hours ago, OnceUponATime said:

She'll probably just put an Acknowledgement at the start saying "Thank you Michael and Debi Pearl for all your inspirational writing. I have based my book on your writings".

Probably. She would do that in hopes her precious Pearls promote her book.

 

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On April 29, 2016 at 3:42 PM, refugee said:

*sigh* Would be nice. Unfortunately there are too many things ahead of "new vacuum" on the list.

Like... reliable transportation. And necessary home repairs.

But I can dream, can't I?

p.s. What's the favorite vacuum brand for cat hair? (Cat hair on carpet, cat hair on laminate, cat hair on furniture and clothes...)

Hm. Maybe I should get the hair at the source and somehow find a way to vacuum the cats.

Kong ZoomGroom dog grooming brush. It doesn't look like it would do anything, but holy cow does it collect hair like crazy. It is soft too. One cat loves it and the other, not as much but when he is in a mood to be petted and given an adequate supply of treats its all good. I swear my cats looked smaller after the first time I used it. There waste huge wads of hair. My cats have medium super fine hair that sticks to everything, and a stripe of thicker more coarse hair along thier backs.

image.jpegimage.jpeg

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3 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

Kong ZoomGroom dog grooming brush. It doesn't look like it would do anything, but holy cow does it collect hair like crazy. It is soft too. One cat loves it and the other, not as much but when he is in a mood to be petted and given an adequate supply of treats its all good. I swear my cats looked smaller after the first time I used it. There waste huge wads of hair. My cats have medium super fine hair that sticks to everything, and a stripe of thicker more coarse hair along thier backs.

image.jpegimage.jpeg

Your cats are adorable!

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On 4/30/2016 at 9:32 PM, iheartchacos said:

She shuts down commenting on posts left and right in her group because 'it's been discussed enough

But she's not controlling anymore, right?  I guess The God of the Universe tells her when to tell other adults that a subject has been discussed enough. :angry-cussingblack:

As for the book- I think Lori is absolutely desperate to be one of popular fundie girls.  I think that's why she's suddenly turned on the female ministers she used to endorse- they have what she wants, and it makes her madder than hell.  

Like someone said upthread, the real fundies will never have her, and mainstream Christians would think she was a basket case.  

I also get the idea that Ken is trying to find ways to keep Lori busy.  The chat room, flow charts (now she's even coloring little flowers on them), writing a book, doing the Romans study.  Seems like something is definitely up.

5 minutes ago, refugee said:

Your cats are adorable!

I was about to say the exact same thing.  

They are too cute :my_heart:

Also, I'm pretty sure we had that exact same cat stand.

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On ‎4‎/‎29‎/‎2016 at 4:42 PM, refugee said:

*sigh* Would be nice. Unfortunately there are too many things ahead of "new vacuum" on the list.

Like... reliable transportation. And necessary home repairs.

But I can dream, can't I?

p.s. What's the favorite vacuum brand for cat hair? (Cat hair on carpet, cat hair on laminate, cat hair on furniture and clothes...)

Hm. Maybe I should get the hair at the source and somehow find a way to vacuum the cats.

Check out Consumer Reports.  Best money I ever spent, from checking out cars to toasters to vacuums.

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I have two vacuums: my mom's old Electrolux canister and a Dyson.  The Dyson is one of those cordless ones that hang on the wall.  I love that there is no cord to trip over.  I bought my Dyson at Costco when it was on sale for $100 less than the same model at Target.

I think one of the best vacuums for pet hair was either the Hoover Petmate or Eureka.  My vet says that no vacuum is really good on animal fur!

Miele is German, IIRC, and makes great vacuums cleaners as well as other appliances.  Their dishwashers frequently last 20 years or more.  

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2 hours ago, Koala said:

But she's not controlling anymore, right?  I guess The God of the Universe tells her when to tell other adults that a subject has been discussed enough. :angry-cussingblack:

As for the book- I think Lori is absolutely desperate to be one of popular fundie girls.  I think that's why she's suddenly turned on the female ministers she used to endorse- they have what she wants, and it makes her madder than hell.  

Like someone said upthread, the real fundies will never have her, and mainstream Christians would think she was a basket case.  

I also get the idea that Ken is trying to find ways to keep Lori busy.  The chat room, flow charts (now she's even coloring little flowers on them), writing a book, doing the Romans study.  Seems like something is definitely up.

I was about to say the exact same thing.  

They are too cute :my_heart:

Also, I'm pretty sure we had that exact same cat stand.

I think she's desperate to be a fundie spokesperson too. Look at this way--she's been a housewife for 20-30 years. As a SAHM myself, I'd be the first to say that this is not the path to admiration, power and respect. Then her kids grow up, and she's got no one to listen to her, no one to advise or control In the real world, she has very little power or influence.

Then she starts this blog, and suddenly she is "teaching" women. People are asking her advice. She has the power of the delete key to silence dissention. She is interviewed on the radio. She has people writing in agreeing with her views on submission (instead of those annoying relatives who roll their eyes and smirk). People are viewing her as an authority, even a biblical authority. What a rush that must be for her! No wonder she wants more.

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I always feel the main problem with Lori's writing career is that she's just not very likeable.

She's mean spirited, entitled and thinks she speaks for God - and it only takes five minutes with her writings to realise that.

There are plenty of other bloggers/fundies who are preaching pretty much the exact same message but are doing it in a way that makes them seem relatable. A book from them might reach somewhat of an audience, but Lori?......General rule of thumb: if I can't imagine enjoying having a cup of coffee with them, I ain't buying the book.

:coffee:

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Whew! She's wrapped up her Created to Be His Helpmeet study. I'm afraid to ask what's next.

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Logic with Lori (or Lori's commenters, as the case may be):

First he says, 

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I have felt for some time that the healing of the church starts with women.

 And then he says,

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Many otherwise good pastors (even on radio and television) make jokes about weakness of men or superiority of women.

 
 

Dude, which is it? Are women the ones gonna save the church (erm, run this world?), or are they inferior? Pick a side.

He also whines about:

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[Women] have the power to submit or rebel. It cannot be forced on them, even if physically ‘so.’ 

 

But that: 

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So many men have tried to lead but have been continually suppressed by their woman and their church. 

 

A good leader wouldn't be overthrown by a mutinous crew, would he? Isn't that something that usually happens to crappy leaders? 

 

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