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#Big Sandy 2016


picklepizzas
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Big sandy starts tomorrow! Fj faves lead the way with sessions such as David Waller's "who are you?" and Gil and Kelly bates' "beware of pitching your tent towards sodom".  Interesting to see that the duggars are excluded from the schedule entirely but the bates are presenting multiple sessions each day. (And I wonder - are the bates on the schedule that much bc they are popular or bc ati is scraping the bottom of the barrel for speakers?)

http://familyconferences.org/events/family-conference/big-sandy-2016/

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Oh to be a fly on the wall during those planning meetings...

Of course they're going to showcase Gil and Kelly Bates, Gilly is on the Board AND their family is the subject of a reality show that so cleverly showcases them as a quaint, sweet and somewhat normal family. And Pecan Thief is there making himself out to be a big shot because that's what they pay him to do. 

I wonder if Joshy and his wife (who has morphed into a Duggar sister because hey, she knows what turns her man on) will be attending this year. 

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32 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

Gil and Kelly bates' "beware of pitching your tent towards sodom". 

I seriously thought you were being sarcastic. Wtf are they talking about?

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Were the Duggars speakers last year? So, their absence from the speaking agenda is clearly because of the series of scandals?

And....LOL!

"Pitching my tent towards Sodom" should be a post-count title.

Sodom usually = teh gayz. Are they going to talk about how to raise non-gays for God?

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Good thing they made sure to note that all of their speakers are LIVE! Zombies don't tend to enunciate well.

There's so much WTF all over that page. I particularly like the speaker (LIVE!) who apparently preaches to men (just men) via lawnmower: "He has reached out to hundreds of men while working from his lawn mower"

Another LIVE! speaker "animatedly and clearly exhorts both young and old to personally know Jesus Christ" which I take to mean he stands on street corners screaming at people that they're going to hell (or pitching their tents towards Sodom, which definitely sounds like a post count title).

That whole website just screams "cult!" (and "LIVE!").

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34 minutes ago, KZK said:

Good thing they made sure to note that all of their speakers are LIVE! Zombies don't tend to enunciate well.

There's so much WTF all over that page. I particularly like the speaker (LIVE!) who apparently preaches to men (just men) via lawnmower: "He has reached out to hundreds of men while working from his lawn mower"

Another LIVE! speaker "animatedly and clearly exhorts both young and old to personally know Jesus Christ" which I take to mean he stands on street corners screaming at people that they're going to hell (or pitching their tents towards Sodom, which definitely sounds like a post count title).

That whole website just screams "cult!" (and "LIVE!").

I'm certainly not defending these cultists in any way, but "LIVE" means that the speaker will be at Big Sandy, on the stage. In past years they've had speakers who were coming to them via teleconference, Skype, live-streamed, whatever. That said, lawnmower missionary sounds like a really fun guy to hang out with. As a female I suppose I am not worthy of being ministered to by this Godly landscaper? 

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1 hour ago, picklepizzas said:

Big sandy starts tomorrow! Fj faves lead the way with sessions such as David Waller's "who are you?" and Gil and Kelly bates' "beware of pitching your tent towards sodom".  Interesting to see that the duggars are excluded from the schedule entirely but the bates are presenting multiple sessions each day. (And I wonder - are the bates on the schedule that much bc they are popular or bc ati is scraping the bottom of the barrel for speakers?)

http://familyconferences.org/events/family-conference/big-sandy-2016/

Sorry, but that made me laugh out loud! He surely is a very :special-snowflake1:

1 hour ago, daisyd681 said:

I seriously thought you were being sarcastic. Wtf are they talking about?

One of the telltale signs of fundiedom is writing stuff like that and actually meaning it seriously.

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@HumbleJillyMuffin only menz do yard work! In ATI Land womenz have no business aspiring to anything so masculine as a lawn mower! Lawn work may stir up all sorts of ungodly desires among the more delicate jinder, and if a woman were to listen to such an exciting speaker as the lawnmower missionary, it could lead to chaos and social collapse as women fled their kitchens, fired up the lawn mower and spent all day cutting grass.

:56247957a2c7b_32(17):

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23 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

@HumbleJillyMuffin only menz do yard work! In ATI Land womenz have no business aspiring to anything so masculine as a lawn mower! Lawn work may stir up all sorts of ungodly desires among the more delicate jinder, and if a woman were to listen to such an exciting speaker as the lawnmower missionary, it could lead to chaos and social collapse as women fled their kitchens, fired up the lawn mower and spent all day cutting grass.

:56247957a2c7b_32(17):

Oh my, I suppose you are correct. I better go back into the kitchen and make some Chickenetti with extra Velveeta for my headship. 

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41 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

@HumbleJillyMuffin only menz do yard work! In ATI Land womenz have no business aspiring to anything so masculine as a lawn mower! Lawn work may stir up all sorts of ungodly desires among the more delicate jinder, and if a woman were to listen to such an exciting speaker as the lawnmower missionary, it could lead to chaos and social collapse as women fled their kitchens, fired up the lawn mower and spent all day cutting grass.

:56247957a2c7b_32(17):

Besides that, who knows what kind of ungodly desires might be stirred up by the mere *riding on* a vibrating lawnmower? We certainly can't risk the wimmenz having autonomous sex without the potential for procreation! :pb_surprised:

Edited by EyeQueue
Because "withing" is not a thing.
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8 minutes ago, EyeQueue said:

Besides that, who knows what kind of ungodly desires might be stirred up by the mere *riding on* a vibrating lawnmower? We certainly can't risk the wimmenz having autonomous sex without the potential for procreation! :pb_surprised:

Oh my goodness, I don't even want to think about it! I hope those fundie daughters at the laundromat know what hell they are going to if they keep sitting on the washers during spin cycle. If only sweet Michelle Ruark Duggar had learned about ATI and the lawnmower missionary in her youth, she would have never mowed the lawn period, much less in that defrauding Jezebel swimsuit that caused the neighbors to divorce. 

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2 hours ago, EyeQueue said:

Were the Duggars speakers last year? So, their absence from the speaking agenda is clearly because of the series of scandals?

And....LOL!

"Pitching my tent towards Sodom" should be a post-count title.

Sodom usually = teh gayz. Are they going to talk about how to raise non-gays for God?

Remember to tag @happy atheist so this can become a reality! :romance-hearteyes:

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1 hour ago, Darwinesque said:

Does "pitching a tent" have the same meaning in the US?

Here, in the UK, it means a guy getting an obvious erection under his trousers - pitching a tent.

I'm sure those fundie boys pitch many tents at Big Sandy.

Yes, it has the same meaning in Canada, anyway! Does it have some *other* meaning in Fundy-world? 

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59 minutes ago, Gertie said:

Does it have some *other* meaning in Fundy-world? 

Pitching tents is mentioned a bit in the old testament. I'm guessing in this case it is a very clear reference to Genesis 13:12 (KJV)

Quote

12 Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.

 

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5 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

Big sandy starts tomorrow! Fj faves lead the way with sessions such as David Waller's "who are you?" and Gil and Kelly bates' "beware of pitching your tent towards sodom".  Interesting to see that the duggars are excluded from the schedule entirely but the bates are presenting multiple sessions each day. (And I wonder - are the bates on the schedule that much bc they are popular or bc ati is scraping the bottom of the barrel for speakers?)

http://familyconferences.org/events/family-conference/big-sandy-2016/

The innuendo dripping from that phrase cannot be accidental.

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7 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

@HumbleJillyMuffin only menz do yard work! In ATI Land womenz have no business aspiring to anything so masculine as a lawn mower! Lawn work may stir up all sorts of ungodly desires among the more delicate jinder, and if a woman were to listen to such an exciting speaker as the lawnmower missionary, it could lead to chaos and social collapse as women fled their kitchens, fired up the lawn mower and spent all day cutting grass.

:56247957a2c7b_32(17):

So in other words Ben Seewald is onto something?  That's why he's his FIL's lawn boy.

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9 hours ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

I wonder if Joshy and his wife (who has morphed into a Duggar sister because hey, she knows what turns her man on) will be attending this year. 

:562479569aefe_32(14)::56247958035f1_32(18):

8 hours ago, KZK said:

Good thing they made sure to note that all of their speakers are LIVE! Zombies don't tend to enunciate well.

:pb_lol: :pb_lol: :pb_lol: :pb_lol:

9 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

Big sandy starts tomorrow! Fj faves lead the way with sessions such as David Waller's "who are you?"

Yes, indeedy!!!  If Josh attends, I wonder if David* will constantly make eye contact with him while speaking?

*In that Jim Gaffigan "aside" voice*  I thought we were mud-wrestling buddies...

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8 hours ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

I'm certainly not defending these cultists in any way, but "LIVE" means that the speaker will be at Big Sandy, on the stage. In past years they've had speakers who were coming to them via teleconference, Skype, live-streamed, whatever. That said, lawnmower missionary sounds like a really fun guy to hang out with. As a female I suppose I am not worthy of being ministered to by this Godly landscaper? 

Maybe the mower man speaks in tones audible to only those with a penis?  (Like a whistle to a dog?)

6 hours ago, EyeQueue said:

Besides that, who knows what kind of ungodly desires might be stirred up by the mere *riding on* a vibrating lawnmower? We certainly can't risk the wimmenz having autonomous sex without the potential for procreation! :pb_surprised:

I will guess that the mower man has never had something so powerful between his legs, nor been on top of something so responsive, than a Cub Cadet, etc.  (Thank you, LA Law, for that phrase)

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So I was looking at the website and there's a speaker named Gabriel Cleator who works for ATI.

I don't know much about him, but maybe he'll be the one to take Jana out of Arkansas.

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I am being sucked down the rabbit hole of Jobe Martin,  who is speaking at the conference on "Creation Evangelism". He has a lot of stuff on youtube about how he became a creationist (having been a dentist) and how animals that are well adapted to their environments are proof that god made them that way. 

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Gabriel Cleator has been on the ATI traveling Dog and Pony Show for at least 2 years as an inspirational speaker.  He speaks at Family Conferences, has done the Family Connections Tour with David Waller, and was a leader for JTTH.   He looks about 11 years old but is probably in his mid-twenties.  There are some videos out there of him speaking but they seem to be subscription only.

His session this year is called "The Power of the Tongue."

They really don't get double entendres, do they? :)

 

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