Another major figure in the homeschooling movement accused of inappropriate sexual behavior

[FloraDoraDolly]

Rick Boyer was a pioneer in the homeschooling movement, publishing a series of books in the 1990s. He and his wife had (I think?) 14 kids, all of whom would be grown now. He continues to sell homeschooling products on his website. Last year, he was among Josh Duggar's defenders. Now a young woman has come forward with her story of Boyer inappropriately touching her on several occasions. Like many Quiverfull daughters, she didn't fully grasp what was happening until she was older and had distanced herself from the movement.

http://www.ashleyeaster.com/blog/rick-boyer-sr-and-sexual-boundary-crossing

One night, I told Will everything that had happened with Mr. Boyer, and asked him, “Does that sound normal to you?” His emphatic “No!” confirmed what my gut had been telling me all along—that older married men shouldn’t kiss a young woman their daughter’s age when nobody's looking, and then ask her to kiss him back.  Older married men shouldn’t try to get alone with a young woman in a basement and put their arms around her waist and neck, and press her body tightly into theirs. Older married men shouldn’t take a young woman to the back of their property at night, tell them to get in a truck, and put her head near their crotch. For the first time, it suddenly became crystal clear to me that men who engage in this behavior are acting with ill intent. There was nothing accidental about any of this.

[onlyme]

Wow. Oh dear, I feel so bad for his wife. I kind of liked her-she did kind of counter the Pearls and the Ezzos in her book "Parenting from the Heart" and talked about some discipline approaches being "mean". She has always seemed to me to really enjoy her children and didn't seem to use all that plastic blessing talk that is so typical with women like Michelle and Erika.  

[FloraDoraDolly]

I haven't read "Parenting From the Heart" but I have read some of Marilyn Boyer's blog articles. I agree, she truly seems to enjoy her children. She is also very creative. I feel bad that her husband is putting her through this. I feel bad for the kids, too.

[Anonymousguest]

I think the Boyers were the first to talk about the truancy drills, where they taught the kids to hide when someone came to the house during the day. They really did blaze the way for homeschooling, and they were instrumental in our own decision to homeschool. It was hearing them soak at a conference that got my husband 100% on board with it. I agree that they seemed to really love their kids, but they were also very strict disciplinarians. 

I had the opportunity to meet and talk to them once though, and I thought Rick was a pompous ass. This story is saddening, but not shocking to me.

 

[uber frau]

Are these the same Boyers as the Boyer sisters?

[RosyDaisy]

These patriarchal, fundamentalist assholes have caused so much pain to women and girls. They need to be held accountable in a court of law not the church. Churches shouldn't hide these monsters.

[jakesykora]

5 hours ago, uber frau said:

Are these the same Boyers as the Boyer sisters?

No.

http://characterconcepts.com/store/cms.php?id_cms=4

[Flyinthesoup]

4 hours ago, jakesykora said:

No.

http://characterconcepts.com/store/cms.php?id_cms=4

Are they possibly grandchildren of Rick and Marilyn?

[refugee]

16 hours ago, uber frau said:

Are these the same Boyers as the Boyer sisters?

No. Not even related, so far as I know.

[GenerationCedarchip]

9 hours ago, Flyinthesoup said:

Are they possibly grandchildren of Rick and Marilyn?

No, parents of the Boyer sisters are in their 50s, so not much younger than Rick and Marilyn Boyer. There may be some distant relation, but the two Boyer families are from different parts of the country.

[SamuraiKatz]

Wow. Oh dear, I feel so bad for his wife. I kind of liked her-she did kind of counter the Pearls and the Ezzos in her book "Parenting from the Heart" and talked about some discipline approaches being "mean". She has always seemed to me to really enjoy her children and didn't seem to use all that plastic blessing talk that is so typical with women like Michelle and Erika. [emoji20] 

I hope Mrs. Boyer has the good sense to nail her husband to the wall. Too many of these fundie families look all shiny and perfect on the outside and anything but when you scratch below the surface.

[Flyinthesoup]

58 minutes ago, GenerationCedarchip said:

No, parents of the Boyer sisters are in their 50s, so not much younger than Rick and Marilyn Boyer. There may be some distant relation, but the two Boyer families are from different parts of the country.

Thank you for that information.  I was trying to figure out how old the eldest Boyer child is to see if he/she had children old enough to be in their late teens early 20s. 

[FloraDoraDolly]

2 hours ago, Flyinthesoup said:

Thank you for that information.  I was trying to figure out how old the eldest Boyer child is to see if he/she had children old enough to be in their late teens early 20s. 

Rick Boyer often features his grandchildren on his website now that his own kids are grown. (The Maxwells seem to be moving in this direction as well.) The oldest of these Boyer grandchildren would be around middle school age, definitely not in their late teens or early 20s. But Rick Boyer's youngest kids (not grandkids) would be in this age group.

[Anonymousguest]

3 hours ago, Flyinthesoup said:

Thank you for that information.  I was trying to figure out how old the eldest Boyer child is to see if he/she had children old enough to be in their late teens early 20s. 

The boyer kids were born in the late 70s through the early 90s. 

[samira_catlover]

OK, am very tired and not too much together. But FWIW, I know of a fair number of people in power-exchange relationships (BDSMy and otherwise)---and while some of them have dynamics I can't even BEGIN to understand, the relationships tend to be actually rather equal. ("You hold the power which I chose to surrender to you---BTW, I can reclaim it as needed.")

If I actually had to establish a bond with someone other than my DH ("ALL MINE! Hands off, folks, but you can droooool and get all jealous---**preens**"), well, Kinky folk seem like a great alternative---because the ones I've seen all seem to be very used to negotiating, setting limits, honoring boundaries, and continually asking all sorts of insane questions of "is this OK?" (YMMV.)

[paganbaby]

On 4/18/2016 at 0:40 AM, samira_catlover said:

OK, am very tired and not too much together. But FWIW, I know of a fair number of people in power-exchange relationships (BDSMy and otherwise)---and while some of them have dynamics I can't even BEGIN to understand, the relationships tend to be actually rather equal. ("You hold the power which I chose to surrender to you---BTW, I can reclaim it as needed.")

If I actually had to establish a bond with someone other than my DH ("ALL MINE! Hands off, folks, but you can droooool and get all jealous---**preens**"), well, Kinky folk seem like a great alternative---because the ones I've seen all seem to be very used to negotiating, setting limits, honoring boundaries, and continually asking all sorts of insane questions of "is this OK?" (YMMV.)

Exactly. I think that communities of people into BDSM and other kink could provide excellent guidelines for more vanilla folk on how to have a consensual relationship and enjoy yourself at the same time.

In fact, I think in a lot of dominance/submission games, the submissive partner is the one most in control, because he or she can stop everything with a word at any time. I can understand why that would be part of the thrill, along with being able to abdicate control for a time. I suspect sexual submissives tend to be either dominant personalities otherwise or have a lot of responsibilities that make taking a different role attractive. But mostly people are just turned on by different things, and as long as you can enjoy that without hurting or coercing anyone, that's fine with me.

[violynn]

30 minutes ago, paganbaby said:

Exactly. I think that communities of people into BDSM and other kink could provide excellent guidelines for more vanilla folk on how to have a consensual relationship and enjoy yourself at the same time.

In fact, I think in a lot of dominance/submission games, the submissive partner is the one most in control, because he or she can stop everything with a word at any time. I can understand why that would be part of the thrill, along with being able to abdicate control for a time. I suspect sexual submissives tend to be either dominant personalities otherwise or have a lot of responsibilities that make taking a different role attractive. But mostly people are just turned on by different things, and as long as you can enjoy that without hurting or coercing anyone, that's fine with me.

Most men who are sexual submissive ARE there for exactly that reason.  Giving up power in a safe, sane, consensual manner is very soothing and relaxing to many who have to 'be the boss' often in their vannila lives.

[seattlechic]

On 4/17/2016 at 11:43 PM, RosyDaisy said:

These patriarchal, fundamentalist assholes have caused so much pain to women and girls. They need to be held accountable in a court of law not the church. Churches shouldn't hide these monsters.

And yet, they do. Most of them anyway. It irks me so fucking much to hear about cover up after cover up. The abuse is enough, but these fuckers just moving perverts around and shit? No words. 

[Funwithfundies]

On April 17, 2016 at 11:31 PM, onlyme said:

Wow. Oh dear, I feel so bad for his wife. I kind of liked her-she did kind of counter the Pearls and the Ezzos in her book "Parenting from the Heart" and talked about some discipline approaches being "mean". She has always seemed to me to really enjoy her children and didn't seem to use all that plastic blessing talk that is so typical with women like Michelle and Erika.  

'Plastic blessing talk' - wow, love that phrase.  Sums everything up in three little words!

[GenerationCedarchip]

Just curious - I had heard that HEAV (VA's Christian homeschool organization) was looking into this.  Does anyone know if anything has come of this?  I see Boyer is still listed as a speaker for next month's conference.  I was just wondering what was going on because there has almost been a cone of silence over this entire thing ever Ashley Easter's blog came out.  This is my state's homeschool org, and some of my family are acquainted with these folks, so it hits closer to home than a lot of things I read on here.  If you don't want to post, you can PM me.  Thanks!

[love2scrap]

I was also wondering whether there was any further news on this. I'd hate for Ashley's story to be covered up just because she is a lesser known figure than other survivors.

[libriatrix]

8 hours ago, love2scrap said:

I was also wondering whether there was any further news on this. I'd hate for Ashley's story to be covered up just because she is a lesser known figure than other survivors.

I think also Rick Boyer is a lesser known figure than the other abusers who have been exposed recently? His crimes are also somewhat less sensational than others, although in no way excusable or unimportant. I know Homeschoolers Anonymous covered Ashley's story, and Natalie Greenfield also reblogged it. There may just not be any more news to cover at the moment. I definitely think he should be listed in any articles or reminders of just how many conservative homeschooling big names are also abusers.