Jump to content
IGNORED

Introduce Yourself- Part 3


samurai_sarah

Recommended Posts

Hi, [mention=26567]may[/mention]! Welcome to FJ. [emoji4] We have a pretty diverse group of posters here, with folks from 18 up to their 80s. (As far as I know. No one has mentioned being in their 90s, afaik.)  It's always great to hear from people who have first hand experience dealing with fundies. 
We also have discussion threads about many different families and topics. If/when you get a bit tired of the Duggars, come check out some other threads, too! If you ever want to find a new rabbit hole to spend time in, just ask people for a recommendation. You'll have more to read than you can imagine! [emoji3]

Aw thank you for the warm welcome! [emoji92] Trust me I already spent about 2 hours reading everything lol I’m being sucked in !!! [emoji28]
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, may said:

I already spent about 2 hours reading everything lol I’m being sucked in !!!

Lol. After I'd been here a bit, a veteran member told me that I would be assimilated. :SmileyFace-Borg-2: (I'm a bit of a sci-fi geek, if you hadn't guessed. :pb_lol: )

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
misspelling
  • Haha 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lol. After I'd been here a bit, a veteran member told me that I would be assimilated. :SmileyFace-Borg-2: (I'm a bit of a sci-fi geek, if you hadn't guessed. :pb_lol: )

Sci-fi is definitely the best genre of movies, but I’m still a sucker for romance lmao. I haven’t talked to many on here, I’ve mainly been lurking and “assimilating” [emoji28]
  • Upvote 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, all,

Hands are a bit trembly right now as I'm a SEVERE introvert who's read FJ for a long time and finally joined because of the JRod latest grifting spectacular chit show, and because I found out there are fellow doll collectors here. :)

I want to share a bit about myself: First, the calendar says I'm no spring chickadee.  Will be in a new decade of life before long.  However, my outlook is young and I wish I had some kids around, either small or grown, but it hasn't happened exactly that way. I am married, or technically, remarried, and have had a quiet, low key, casual lifestyle since I retired myself from my career. I sympathize with you who have back problems and pain. I have pain from a series of professional hazard injuries which came with the job, as they say, so my pain is ant sized compared to what several of you are living with. I've shed tears reading and understanding what you've overcome and what you still live with under the best possible conditions for your individual state of normal life with ' normal' pain. There is no normal, pain requiring surgery and leaving residual effects totally has to suck hard..

About the " Was Blind" user name I reversed a biblical story  and then lyrics to an old hymn because I was a blind follower of organized religion until I grew up and saw my light- to believe in God and Jesus, pray in my own way in my own time and place, and have a somewhat spiritual relationship that is not tied to any religion or group at all.  A long, long time ago, I was brought up mainstream Protestant religion  with few to no restrictions on my comings and goings. My parents were cool in that aspect and with most of my personal choices , have to give them credit for the social life I had outside church.

However, I was made to attend church services and all activities, pray aloud in Sunday School and larger teen events at our large-ish church,  which was terrifying to an introvert who didn't want to be there in the first place but hid her so-called bad feelings, and participate in youth trips and singing all over the country in a huge teen singing group made up of teens from all over the USA for 2 summers. I was a shaky, insecure guilt- ridden girl because I didn't want to be there at all. 

  As soon as I'd taken and passed Driver's Ed. ( side eye to JRod here) and got my license and first car, I told my parents that I wasn't ever going back to 'their' church and probably not to any church, which has been the case. I asked for and was granted the removal of my name from the ' church rolls', whatever that is in the first place.

Maybe some people want to be told what to do in their lives,, but I didn't and don't within societal norms. I believe I would have had a miserable life in an adult patriarcal centered life with a lot of rigid beliefs and " do's" and " don'ts" Life should be lived with joy, and I don't mean Michelle D,'s definition of joy.  I'm a people pleaser by nature, I think, but also an independent thinker ( in basic terms, all humans are but some give up their personal power to a spouse or church or both).
Thus, I " was blind" and was a follower being led around, but left painlessly and have lived my life my way, making the usual painful but transient life mistakes and having a few awesome professional and personal successes.

I'm pro-choice, pro- feminist, pro- life as anyone defines themselves culturally, sexually, ethnically. 
 Thanks for letting me be a part of FJ as a poster, not just a silent reader.

 

  • Upvote 4
  • Love 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi all! I finally decided to stop lurking thanks to Bro Gary, a thread I've been following for a while. Like @WasBlind, I am also an introvert and it took a bit of effort to chime in since, well, all of you lovely people are so witty and have covered a good bit of ground on the fundie-verse!

As for my background, I grew up in a household that did not attend church often, but it was assumed that "Jesus is Savior" and "No Swearing" was common knowledge. It was absolutely foreign to my parents that someone didn't believe in God. Occasionally, I'd go to Sunday School and church with my aunt and uncle. And I did attend AWANA for three years. The realization of how, well, not Christian I was came in college. I joined Campus Crusade, not knowing how evangelical it was; I just thought I'd find a nice Bible study or something. Unfortunately, I surrounded myself with toxic, close-minded people in this group, and eventually tried to leave when I realized it wasn't for me. At one point, I had the core group literally knocking at my dorm door when I finally decided to stop going to meetings, and I was eventually was shunned by the group when I decided my 21st birthday was better spent with real friends and not with the CC zombies.

I know it's not exactly a fundamentalist upbringing, but I was burned bad by this experience, as well as some others. I spent a good chunk of my 20s exploring other religions and philosophies and have currently settled on a peaceful agnostic Buddhism, I think. My heart goes out to all of you who had to leave your family or close friends behind when you left your church, or to those who had to leave emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive relationships.

Now, I am married to an open-minded and amazing man, and we have a lovely furchild. I am doing the work I love and spend my leisure time crafting (I'm a quilter, painter, and dollhouse builder!), shooting targets with arrows, and taking photos with my camera collection. :)

Thanks for having me!

  • Upvote 6
  • Love 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi @larrysmom, I loled at your choice of avatar picture and had to comment. Welcome to the madhouse!

  • Upvote 2
  • Thank You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello to everyone, after 5 years of lurking I have finally decided to make myself official. The community here is such a beautiful place and I have really learnt so many valuable things during my lurkdom. 

What prompted me to post (and I'm very sorry if this isn't the right place or appropriate) is that today my world turned upside down when I found out my husband of 12 years has had an emotional affair. 

I know no one here knows me but I feel as though I know so much about so many of you and I just couldn't help but turn to you all for some help/advice/words of wisdom.  I certainly know the community here is full of varied life experiences and so much wisdom.  I am lost.  

We are considering relationship counselling. I don't know if I can stay in the marriage but with 3 kids I don't know if I should work on it and stay. He has been very honest and seems apologetic. I have raged for a fair portion of the afternoon. 

Very sorry for any mistakes, I am hurting and poking this out on my phone.  I wish I could have introduced myself on better terms.  

Even without any help with my problems, thank you for being such a wonderful place and for teaching me so much. 

  • Upvote 2
  • Love 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Apple_green, welcome to Free Jinger. :) I'm glad you decided to post after 5 years of lurking, but I'm sorry that you are hurting right now.

I haven't been exactly in your shoes, but I did have a fiancé who cheated on me years ago. In my case, ending it made sense, because we had only known each other a year, had no kids, and weren't married. In your case, with 3 kids and 12 years of marriage, I can certainly see why you are considering counselling together. I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling. 

I guess I wonder if it would be possible for you to talk to a counselor or some kind of therapist by yourself first. I would hope it might give you a safe place with no outside pressure to explore your feelings and to consider whether you want to go to relationship counseling with your husband. 

As far as this being an appropriate spot to post about this, the only drawback I can see is that this forum doesn't get as much traffic as some do. I can't think of a better spot of the top of my head, because most of the threads people use to talk specifically about relationships, venting, and so on require 75 posts (unless the rules changed and I missed it). Maybe I'll see if some other posters can stop by and add their 2 cents, or have an idea of a spot that might get more attention. 

I hope you can stick around, and that you can find some support in your real life, too. Best wishes for good things in your week. :my_heart:

  • Upvote 3
  • I Agree 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My first post as a registered user, so an introduction might be a good place to start. Been coming here on and off for a year now, and finally took the time to register. 

I'm a very grumpy old (47) lady who lives in the northern parts of Sweden, and my hobbies include collecting Lego, singing with my choir and falling down internet rabbit holes. It was the last item on that list that brought me here. Other recent rabbit holes: Kosher food and how to prepare it, the royal house of Romania + retirement savings on the stock market. See - not a single red thread there. 

I have a very different life than our favourite fundies. I'm (re)married, have no kids (by choice), work because I enjoy it, and have a husband who thinks that household chores are to be divided equally between the two of us, without discussion. The whole concept of living in Sweden is also quite different from the fundie US concept. It's a very secular country, and home schooling is not legal. Most women are well educated and work. Stay at home-parents are very rare. This might be why I became interested in the Duggars when I saw an episode of Counting on about a year ago. I started reading about the family, saw some old episodes of "xx kids and counting", and I was hooked. 

So what made me sign up? Well, when JD announced his courtship to Abbie, I knew that the rapture was very near, so there was no time to lose! 

Edited by xenobia
  • Upvote 7
  • Love 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/20/2018 at 9:22 PM, larrysmom said:

I'm a quilter, painter, and dollhouse builder!)

I'm happy dancing here!  I'm a beginner dollhouse builder, painter and crafter.  We have a thread here somewhere on dollhouses.  I should find it and update it with new photos.

And welcome to all our other new members.  Thanks for delurking and joining us.  We are a very diverse crowd here on Free Jinger.

15 minutes ago, xenobia said:

So what made me sign up? Well, when JD announced his courtship to Abbie, I knew that the rapture was very near, so there was no time to lose! 

And you will fit right in. :D

On 6/26/2018 at 7:55 AM, Apple_green said:

We are considering relationship counselling. I don't know if I can stay in the marriage but with 3 kids I don't know if I should work on it and stay. He has been very honest and seems apologetic. I have raged for a fair portion of the afternoon. 

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.  I also second @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?'s suggestion of perhaps trying individual therapy first.  Please take care of yourself.

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your kind words and ideas.  I am going to look into counseling for just myself too,  I hadn't actually thought of that. 

I am still very hurt by what he's done and we have spent a lot of time talking and being brutally honest with each other over the last few days.  He does seem truly destroyed by his actions and ready to do what it takes to make things work again.  We had been drifting apart for some time,  but neither realised that we both wanted to fix our problems. We lack in the communication department. 

So thank you again and I do hope to start joining in with some of the discussions, I originally came for the duggers and have then followed the Rods and their RV from hell from the beginning. 

  • Love 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your kind words and ideas.  I am going to look into counseling for just myself too,  I hadn't actually thought of that. 
I am still very hurt by what he's done and we have spent a lot of time talking and being brutally honest with each other over the last few days.  He does seem truly destroyed by his actions and ready to do what it takes to make things work again.  We had been drifting apart for some time,  but neither realised that we both wanted to fix our problems. We lack in the communication department. 
So thank you again and I do hope to start joining in with some of the discussions, I originally came for the duggers and have then followed the Rods and their RV from hell from the beginning. 

:( my heart goes out to you, I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you reasonable advice, but I’m just a random teenager. Coming from a girl who’s parents divorced when I was 1 and grew up without a dad; I always wished for a “normal” family, but later I realized that I am complete with what I have now. I’m not sure how old your children are, but it seems like you and your husband cultivated a nice family environment for your children (I am assuming due to the fact that you both are willing to work it out). I just know, no child would want their parents to be unhappy, especially together. I wouldn’t want that for my mom. I really wish you the best and I hope you find happiness. Seeing a therapist alone and then together sounds like a good idea. Being able to talk to someone really really helps. Best wishes.
  • Thank You 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Apple_green I totally support getting counseling by yourself first but even if you decide to separate I would still recommend couples counseling so you can work on a good co-parenting relationship for the sake of your kids.

  • Upvote 3
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi all! 

So happy to finally be a part of this amazing community. I’ve been lurking on and off for 3 or 4 years. Not sure how I found you all at first, likely something Duggar related, but I got hooked on Sparkling Adventures, Dna and his skirt cheese making wife, (I think it was those two that were together) and that terrifying woman who was always adding *smiles* to her blog posts. 

Not many of the people I know in real life share my interest, or I guess you could say fixation, but I just can’t look away. 

A little about me: I’m 33, I like to crochet and weave, and play the banjo. 

 

  • Upvote 4
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome out of lurk-dom, @WarpandWeft

1 hour ago, WarpandWeft said:

...and that terrifying woman who was always adding *smiles* to her blog posts.

That would be Erika Shupe. *gag* If you haven't read her threads lately, you might be very surprised. She never comes out and admits it exactly, or explains herself, but she seems to have gone back on all her fundie positions. Her kids attend public school, the girls wear pants, and her oldest daughter (Karen?) got a job, left home, got married, and moved to another state. If you're interested, here's the most recent thread:

and the Erika Shupe section of the archives:

https://www.freejinger.org/forum/359-erika-gag-shupe-large-families-on-purpose/

I knit, but I'd like to learn to crochet. Happy hooking!

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
missing words
  • Upvote 2
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/28/2018 at 3:25 PM, Palimpsest said:

I'm happy dancing here!  I'm a beginner dollhouse builder, painter and crafter. 

Hoooray! :) Welcome to the craft!

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, larrysmom said:

Hoooray! :) Welcome to the craft!

I found the thread on dollhouses.  I haven't updated the photos yet.  The first dollhouse is theoretically finished, but I'm still making improvements.  

 

  • Thank You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/28/2018 at 2:06 PM, xenobia said:

I'm a very grumpy old (47) lady

Not so old!  But let's grump together   :)  Welcome.

  • Upvote 4
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello!

So I've actually been part of FJ for a looooooooong time (I think) but I didn't begin posting much until Trump/my mother made my head explode. Anyway! I'm a single female with no kids (but 2 cats who are spoiled, though my older kitty would probably prefer being a little less spoiled if that meant she got to keep her fur...). I'm from the rural "rust belt", but I've been living in Seattle for almost 6 years now.

I first found out about the Duggars on TWOP (man I miss that place) in... 2009, I think? I followed the migration to Yuku, and then followed here, where I finally made an account. :)

So uh... hello!

  • Upvote 3
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello! I happened to stumble upon FJ whole looking up the Bates. Wow, was I enlightened. 

Anyway, I’m in the PNW. Married, with two kiddos. I’m a cradle Catholic married to a non-denom Christian, who is a public high school teacher. We have a little hobby farm. I’m probably a more liberalish Catholic. I believe in birth control and am so done with my two. I am the oldest of 6 and everyone asks me if I’m going to have 6 like my parents. Hell no. 

We do send our kids to a Catholic school. It’s actually excellent for academics and it’s small, which we like. 

I work full time and I’m a car seat technician,  so my time is limited, but I’ll try to post when I can. Between karate and piano and everything else I stupidly signed up for. 

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/28/2018 at 5:09 PM, Apple_green said:

Thank you for your kind words and ideas.  I am going to look into counseling for just myself too,  I hadn't actually thought of that. 

I am still very hurt by what he's done and we have spent a lot of time talking and being brutally honest with each other over the last few days.  He does seem truly destroyed by his actions and ready to do what it takes to make things work again.  We had been drifting apart for some time,  but neither realised that we both wanted to fix our problems. We lack in the communication department. 

So thank you again and I do hope to start joining in with some of the discussions, I originally came for the duggers and have then followed the Rods and their RV from hell from the beginning. 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've heard it explained that individual counseling as a first step is better because the client is you, as opposed to marriage counseling where the clients are you, your spouse, and your marriage. So, a way to get your thoughts lined up and straightened without interference, if you will.

Anyway, welcome and I hope things improve for you.

42 minutes ago, goatsy128 said:

Hello! I happened to stumble upon FJ whole looking up the Bates. Wow, was I enlightened. 

Anyway, I’m in the PNW. Married, with two kiddos. I’m a cradle Catholic married to a non-denom Christian, who is a public high school teacher. We have a little hobby farm. I’m probably a more liberalish Catholic. I believe in birth control and am so done with my two. I am the oldest of 6 and everyone asks me if I’m going to have 6 like my parents. Hell no. 

We do send our kids to a Catholic school. It’s actually excellent for academics and it’s small, which we like. 

I work full time and I’m a car seat technician,  so my time is limited, but I’ll try to post when I can. Between karate and piano and everything else I stupidly signed up for. 

Welcome! The hobby farm sounds awesome! I was one of a large family and no way would I want that many kids!

 

  • Upvote 1
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, goatsy128 said:

Hello! I happened to stumble upon FJ whole looking up the Bates. Wow, was I enlightened. 

Anyway, I’m in the PNW. Married, with two kiddos. I’m a cradle Catholic married to a non-denom Christian, who is a public high school teacher. We have a little hobby farm. I’m probably a more liberalish Catholic. I believe in birth control and am so done with my two. I am the oldest of 6 and everyone asks me if I’m going to have 6 like my parents. Hell no. 

We do send our kids to a Catholic school. It’s actually excellent for academics and it’s small, which we like. 

I work full time and I’m a car seat technician,  so my time is limited, but I’ll try to post when I can. Between karate and piano and everything else I stupidly signed up for. 

Hello and welcome!

I am so glad you were enlightened about the Bates family.  The purpose of FJ is to discuss the downside of extreme Fundamentalism, and the Bateses are a very good example of that.  If you read around FJ you will find other Fundie families that will also make your toes curl.  The Rodrigues family is another good gateway to the insanity. ;)

We are a very diverse group and some read and post more than others.  Join us as you can.  Lapsed, liberal, and cradle Catholics are very welcome here.

And I would love to hear more about your hobby farm.

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Hello and welcome!

I am so glad you were enlightened about the Bates family.  The purpose of FJ is to discuss the downside of extreme Fundamentalism, and the Bateses are a very good example of that.  If you read around FJ you will find other Fundie families that will also make your toes curl.  The Rodrigues family is another good gateway to the insanity. ;)

We are a very diverse group and some read and post more than others.  Join us as you can.  Lapsed, liberal, and cradle Catholics are very welcome here.

And I would love to hear more about your hobby farm.

Our little 2 acres is right in the middle of my parents 600 acre real farm(where I grew up). They gave us 2 acres. We have chickens and goats, which we breed for 4-H kids for show animals. Then my chickens. I have...a lot. LOL But I love to watch them. Then we have bunnies for the kids, which they promised to take care of and basically left that to us. I also planted a little orchard of fruit trees, so we do a little bit of everything. We are getting ready to build a new, albeit modest home, to replace our current OLD farmhouse.

2 hours ago, Lisafer said:

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've heard it explained that individual counseling as a first step is better because the client is you, as opposed to marriage counseling where the clients are you, your spouse, and your marriage. So, a way to get your thoughts lined up and straightened without interference, if you will.

Anyway, welcome and I hope things improve for you.

Welcome! The hobby farm sounds awesome! I was one of a large family and no way would I want that many kids!

 

I always thought I'd have a lot of kids. That's what good Catholics do, after all. Then I actually had two. Newp. All done here. I am very close to my sisters and brother, though. We live within a couple miles of each other and see each other often. The funny thing is, my dad isn't Catholic. Never was. He was just happy to have us. I asked my mom about NFP and she laughed and asked "how do you think we got six?". LOL So, while I love get togethers with the family and love seeing them, I'm happy I only have to provide for and raise two. Haha

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.