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Is submission spreading beyond the fundies?


love2scrap
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So this guy in my local community.... I cannot even.

While I am grateful for the attention his stupidity is getting, and the lively discussions going on in the comments, I am horrified at the way many are excusing his use of the word "submission" and defending the traditional culture in Asia.

The couple is most definitely not fundie as evidenced in the last bit about buying amulets from the temple.

Is our society falling backward or what?! :doh:

 
Quote

This lady simply left me speechless.

Many of my friends actually came to me and asked "Jerald, why did you settle down so early?"

In my mind, I thought, "So early" is relative. 25 years old can be early to some, can be late to others. But to me, I find that the settling down at the age of 25 is perfect. The world will shift and align for a made up mind... 先成家,再立业 ... settle down early and focus my energy on my business ...

So let me share with you why I chose her...

She is a submissive wife. Wait a minute... before you think I’m MCP... let me clarify... she is someone who really knows how to take care of me. A wife who says that she wants to cook for me... (Majority of the ladies nowadays don't bother with household chores or cook for their husband haha... no way... her mum brought her up well.) and bothers to wake up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for me. She gives me VIP treatment every day. That's my ex-girlfriend. My current wife...

She is very willing is submit to me. A lot of people do not understand the power when she does that. The power of submission isn't where you kowtow to someone or open the door for them. It is just submitting to a common mission where there is an absence of rebellion. 

The mission we are in is to lead a prosperous, united and blissful family. She is wholeheartedly willing to let me be the head of the home and choose to play the most important role in my life (my neck). Unknowingly, when she chooses to submit to me, surprisingly, she has the power.

Allow me to explain with an example. When a mentor tries to impart what he knows to his mentee, if the mentee chooses to question everything he said, the mentor knows this person is not coachable. Simply because there is no trust and the mentee has not submitted to him. 

On the other hand, if the mentee chooses to do whatever (except anything Illegal, Immoral, Unethical) the mentor says, the mentee has the power because the mentor will feel be even more obligated to help that mentee. So when my wife submits to be, all the more I will listen to her.

At the end of the day, men want respect (which he gets when a woman submits), women want love (they want the man to do whatever to make her happy) ... Give love and you shall receive respect...

That's why I turn down invitations to go drinking. I have got a good liquor tolerance because of my dad but I don't like to drink. I prefer to stay home and not worry my loved one. I want to stay healthy and enjoy my wealth in the future. 

I choose to spend that time with my wife. These are the ways I submit to her too because one of her "love languages" is TIME.

Take a look at this text sent by her!! 

Always so sweet and take so much initiative to make me feel loved.

Btw, love is an action word. Not a noun!

P.S I believe there are grammatical errors in this post. Looking for a friend to help me edit!

#blessed!

 

Quote and picture were taken from a public facebook site.

 

Edited by love2scrap
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He may be a red pill guy. Many of them are religious, but not necessarily fundie. They have similar views that women have power via the submissiveness and that it's really a "win/win" for both men and women. 

Here's an article about the red pill/MRA movement:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/red-pill-mens-rights-anti-feminist-group-who-know-what-women-want/

 

 

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This guy is clueless? If he is such an all powerful head of household why is he so helpless when it comes to getting his own fucking bowl of cereal for breakfast?

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7 hours ago, love2scrap said:

Is our society falling backward or what?! :doh:

Pretty sure I asked myself the same question yesterday when Mississippi passed a new law that will allow businesses to openly discriminate against gay and transgender people....for Jesus of course.  

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Yeah, he sounds Red Pill. Check out the Quiver Full of Misogyny or the Red Pill Reddit - then go to the Blue Pill Reddit to detox!

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oh, submission is not about kowtowing or bowing down to someone! -- yet there's nothing remarkable about the automatic assumption that he gets to be the mentor and any wife he chooses has to be his mentee and serve him -- be his accessory. 


Yeah right.

:5624795033223_They-see-me-rollinroll:

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What is this bullshit? This decidedly UNsubmissive wife cooks for her husband EVERY DAMN DAY. Even when I was working full time I came home and cooked dinner. Why? Because I love to cook and let's face it, Latinas spell love F-O-O-D. But...on the flip side...my husband does all the housework. 

This guy is an asshole...sounds like my son who prefers Asian girls because they kiss his ass...then he gets tired of them and tosses them aside. Yeah, I don't like him much either. 

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13 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

What is this bullshit? This decidedly UNsubmissive wife cooks for her husband EVERY DAMN DAY. Even when I was working full time I came home and cooked dinner. Why? Because I love to cook and let's face it, Latinas spell love F-O-O-D. But...on the flip side...my husband does all the housework. 

This guy is an asshole...sounds like my son who prefers Asian girls because they kiss his ass...then he gets tired of them and tosses them aside. Yeah, I don't like him much either. 

This is us, too. I cook all the time because I love to do it and I'm the one who is good at it. He does the housework because he likes to and because he is such a perfectionist about it, that if I do it, he'll just do it over again his way. 

It works for us. But I do occasionally get informed by enlightened liberal friends that I have a hopeless and possibly submissive marriage just because I do the cooking.

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17 hours ago, Pennyrose said:

He may be a red pill guy. Many of them are religious, but not necessarily fundie. They have similar views that women have power via the submissiveness and that it's really a "win/win" for both men and women. 

Here's an article about the red pill/MRA movement:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/red-pill-mens-rights-anti-feminist-group-who-know-what-women-want/

Yeah, agreed that it sounds like MRA/red pill stuff. Most people I've run across who support these ideas aren't religious (or very lightly so). 

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Grow up, make your own breakfast, cook dinner for your wife for a change and follow her leading, then I will read the stuff you post.  This crazy piece of writing you can put somewhere else!

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4 hours ago, feministxtian said:

This guy is an asshole...sounds like my son who prefers Asian girls because they kiss his ass...then he gets tired of them and tosses them aside. Yeah, I don't like him much either. 

Fuck this racist stereotype. As it is, there are too many guys approaching me expecting that, because I'm of East Asian descent, I'll kiss their ass. The worst thing is, the stereotype persists, because the majority that don't kiss ass, run fast, far far away.... so the guys never receive a lasting impression! And of course, this Facebook jerk doesn't help. Instead of helping break down racism, he's playing right into it.

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21 hours ago, warriorblade8857 said:

Fuck this racist stereotype. As it is, there are too many guys approaching me expecting that, because I'm of East Asian descent, I'll kiss their ass. The worst thing is, the stereotype persists, because the majority that don't kiss ass, run fast, far far away.... so the guys never receive a lasting impression! And of course, this Facebook jerk doesn't help. Instead of helping break down racism, he's playing right into it.

It's disgusting, but the Red Pill guys are all into Asian women. They think if they move to Japan they will have women throwing themselves at their feet. Because of course EVERY Asian woman is dreaming of a white neckbeard to come save the day.

ETA: I suspect the neckbeards have never actually met an Asian woman.

Edited by Crocoduck
blahblah
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I wish this guy could meet some of my Thai friends - independent ladies, several with their own businesses, who are the opposite of submissive!

:laughing-rofl::laughing-rofl::laughing-rofl:

 

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The only headship in my house has 4 legs, a tail, and meows. Even my husband has to submit to his authority.

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14 hours ago, sawasdee said:

I wish this guy could meet some of my Thai friends - independent ladies, several with their own businesses, who are the opposite of submissive!

:laughing-rofl::laughing-rofl::laughing-rofl:

 

I'm a white woman who married a Filipino. Let me tell you, my mother in law, who came to this country in the early 1960s, is the toughest, least submissive woman I've ever met. She worked full time for decades and raised three sons while her husband was in the Navy and away a LOT. She was never, ever, the stereotypical submissive Asian woman,and even now, in her 80s with Alzheimer's, still firmly rules her home, her husband, and all the rest of us! :lol: She's my hero. :worship:

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What a nauseating twerp.  How about collaboration and compromise, instead of submission.

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My daughter in law is American but was born in Beijing. She is as far from "submissive Asian girl" as I can imagine - highly educated, has a high profile professional career, never considered changing her last name after marriage. She and my whiter-than-mayonnaise-on-white bread son have a completely egalitarian marriage. Both have extremely demanding careers and work long hours; at home, they take turns cooking and cleaning, grocery shop together and make all household decisions as a team.

You know, the way a real, successful, loving marriage works.

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On April 8, 2016 at 7:55 PM, warriorblade8857 said:

Fuck this racist stereotype. As it is, there are too many guys approaching me expecting that, because I'm of East Asian descent, I'll kiss their ass. The worst thing is, the stereotype persists, because the majority that don't kiss ass, run fast, far far away.... so the guys never receive a lasting impression! And of course, this Facebook jerk doesn't help. Instead of helping break down racism, he's playing right into it.

        To be clear FC is not promoting this and spoke out against it. 

         My sister in law is not submissive, but she was raised to be. She came to the states go college and took a Women's Studies class that really opened her eyes. In our old house there was s mom at the park I was friendly with. She was from the Phillipines and basically told me she was in some sort of arranged/ mail order type marriage. Her brother in law also had a bride from the Phillipines. It was a very strange situation.

         Sometimes when I read Asian Beauty blogs I get an uncomfortable feeling. I have learned a lot, and enjoy so many AB products, but I think the extremes it goes to can be problematic and in some ways exacerbate the situation. I am at the park with my kids now and am having a hard time collecting and organizing my thoughts on this. I will try to explain it better later.

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18 hours ago, Caribou said:

My daughter in law is American but was born in Beijing. She is as far from "submissive Asian girl" as I can imagine - highly educated, has a high profile professional career, never considered changing her last name after marriage. She and my whiter-than-mayonnaise-on-white bread son have a completely egalitarian marriage. Both have extremely demanding careers and work long hours; at home, they take turns cooking and cleaning, grocery shop together and make all household decisions as a team.

You know, the way a real, successful, loving marriage works.

Only the unbolded part of your list is how a real, successful, loving marriage works. In my house, if husband cooked, we would have a very unsuccessful marriage as I died of malnutrition from living on frozen pizza and boxed mac and cheese. The man can barely boil water. (Neither could his sister, it was not a gender thing in their house; apparently, it just did not occur to their mother that she should teach her kids to cook). And if we grocery shopped together, we would be broke. He can budget money diligently anywhere but at the grocery store. I am, in fact, quite the opposite. I can budget diligently at the grocery store and stick to a planned list that corresponds to a meal plan for the week. But don't let me in a J. Crew Outlet with my wallet on me. And cleaning...well, if I clean anything outside the kitchen, he comes and does it again because I didn't do it the right way. So I let him clean and we are both happier. 

In a successful and loving marriage, both people use their strengths for the good of the household. That doesn't mean taking turns all the time--a mistake I think lots of couples make in a quest to be egalitarian.

And it certainly doesn't mean grocery shopping together. I'm off to do that in an hour or so. And I have $60 this week. If he came along, we'd end up at least $40 over that budget. 

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In a marriage you have to find a balance that works without making the other person a doormat. My husband does nearly 100% of the cooking since I typically work pretty late or have other things going on after work. But on the weekends I do the heavy cleaning and laundry. Because you know, we aren't trying to force ourselves into a mold that doesn't mesh with reality.

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I do think submissives are having their day, so to speak, with the mainstream nature of Fifty Shades of Grey.  At least in my (West coast) circles, people started coming out as being in a D/s relationship, explaining the idea of a "service sub", etc (in part to expose the problems in the book/movie.)  Certainly a small minority of my friends and acquaintances, but it brought discussions out of the shadows.  No fundie influence, best I can tell.  Most "out" D/s couples I know are atheist or Wiccan.  

I can't say that I've seen this kind of forthcoming nature on the East coast,  but I'm starting to dip my toe in the dating pool for the first time in years and I'm shocked at how many people are advertising for a sub of some sort.  

 

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29 minutes ago, Closed Womb said:

I do think submissives are having their day, so to speak, with the mainstream nature of Fifty Shades of Grey.  At least in my (West coast) circles, people started coming out as being in a D/s relationship, explaining the idea of a "service sub", etc (in part to expose the problems in the book/movie.)  Certainly a small minority of my friends and acquaintances, but it brought discussions out of the shadows.  No fundie influence, best I can tell.  Most "out" D/s couples I know are atheist or Wiccan.  

I can't say that I've seen this kind of forthcoming nature on the East coast,  but I'm starting to dip my toe in the dating pool for the first time in years and I'm shocked at how many people are advertising for a sub of some sort.  

 

There's a big difference between the "submissive wife" in everyday life and a sexual d/s relationship. 

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1 hour ago, EmiGirl said:

There's a big difference between the "submissive wife" in everyday life and a sexual d/s relationship. 

Yes, but the world of s service sub can look very similar.  

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I think for some people, the lifestyle has been made to look appealing enough that they consider it without all the implications.

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