Fundie Facebook group

[luv2laugh]

I am part of a Quiverfull Facebook group. I joined it just to observe and learn. I am very shocked by the ideals. Nancy of Above Rubies is worshipped. They constantly debate and put down all forms of contraception, even natural family planning, and working mothers. I have never seen anything like it before. If a woman prevents using NFP she is a heathen. Most of the women are pregnant with their 7th or 9th child. Although they believe in submission, many complain that their husband "is not on board with trusting God in fertility" and ask for prayers that their husbands change. Can pregnancy be an addiction?

[refugee]

Yes, I believe pregnancy can be an addiction. I remember one of the leading "lights" of our former church joking about it being "time to have another baby again" as soon as her current baby began to express a desire for less cuddling and more independence. I remember hearing her and other women saying they were "aching to have another baby".

And then there's the famous Michelle D. She doesn't seem all that interested in raising her children, does she? But she sure has seemed happiest when pregnant.

[brokenminded]

I don't follow their logic if they submit to their husbands why are they secretly trying to get their husbands to give them more babies they don't want? 

Is it ungodly for the husband to not be quiverful and therefor not need to have his wishes submitted to?

Pregnancy addiction is I am sure a thing, there's a lot more 10+ child families in the UK than the press parade around.

[klynn]

I absolutely think pregnancy, and having a newborn, can be an addiction.  Especially for those who were born into that culture, or subscribe to those ideas.  More babies=higher levels of worthiness and Godliness.  Look at me, I have 14 kids.  I am SO Godly and holy, I just literally can't even.

[ADoyle90815]

10 hours ago, klynn said:

I absolutely think pregnancy, and having a newborn, can be an addiction.  Especially for those who were born into that culture, or subscribe to those ideas.  More babies=higher levels of worthiness and Godliness.  Look at me, I have 14 kids.  I am SO Godly and holy, I just literally can't even.

I think that's the case as well, that pregnancy and having a newborn can easily be an addiction. It's not just the Quiverfull group, but other cultures that prefer larger than average families. There are plenty of Catholics who do follow the ban on artificial birth control, and while the mainstream LDS church allows birth control to be used, they also strongly encourage people to have as many children as possible, and as soon as possible when they get married. My youngest step sister who got married last June is pregnant and due in May, and mentioned someone in her ward(congregation) who is pregnant with her 7th child.

[FundieFarmer]

Interesting. Do you think it's just more mainstream to have smaller families but actually a comparative statistical cultural minority that prefer smaller families? That could be an interesting study.

[klynn]

I think it's just become more mainstream to have 1-4 kids vs. 9 or 10.  My sister in law has 4 kids and we joke that she has a million kids.  In reality, 4 isn't that many, but large families outside of fundieland don't seem to be the norm.  At least in my circles.   We know folks who do not use BC and end up having 4-6. I'm almost certain they are "allowed" to use NFP though.

I also think the decision to have smaller families, for some, at least, is entirely financially driven.  I know that we could not have 4 kids and not be broke.  I just can not wrap my head around these people we talk about who would rather live in poverty than not be knocked up every 11 months...just...no.

[Four is Enough]

Interesting that you say that not all parties seem to be in the same level of interest. FWIW, I always thought JB and M both wished for as many kids as they could get. Didn't know what to do with them after they came, but they both wanted as many as possible and worked toward that end.

OTOH, their oldest doesn't seem to be of the same mind, but he wife sure is.

Do you think it's more the wives or the husbands, or just a mixture of people who want all these kids?

 

(I never, EVER thought I'd wind up with Four. Of course, I had to collect 'em, didn't birth any of 'em, but I digress... Seriously, I"m very happy to be the mother of four, but Four. Is. Plenty!!)

[season of life]

@Four is Enough, I think it's a mix of various elements:

1) Upbringing. These people are usually raised on the idea that birth control is wrong and people should have as many babies as God will give them. Obviously this puts the idea in their minds that it is good to continue to have children, despite any negative effects that may have on the household. I was raised in a household that thought it was wrong for women not to have children, so when I was young, I just automatically assumed I would have a family.

2) Personality. Some people, like Anna Duggar, seem genuinely interested in babies and having big families. I truly believe some of these women will put up with tough pregnancies and emotional breakdowns if it means securing the family they want.

3) Status. People in the U.S. with big families get noticed. Grocery stores, malls, parks, you name it. No one bats an eye at three, but four babies does seem a lot to people. Quiverfull families use their children to brag (not so subtly) about their fertility and virility, as well as their ability to raise godly young souls without living off the government's dime. This statement is not always true, but they will stretch it for the attention other people will give them. Let's not forget about the TV shows...

I think these are the biggest factors as to why QF people have huge families.