Duggars by the Dozen- General Discussion Part 18

[iweartanktops]

4 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

JB must be desperately trying to get rid of a few more Duggerlings. The only male Duggarling to be thrown out of the nest has made a complete disaster of his freedom.

JB will be wearing out his trouser knees praying hard that the second male Duggarling to escape will make a reasonable go of it. 

Joshlys leaving  and cleaving  experiment is not something that JB needs to be replicated.

( we need a praying on knees smiley!)

[Gobsmacked]

He will do any thing for dollars! No matter how EBIL!!   

[roddma]

I've never understood the appeal of young adult essentially doing nothing. I remind fans if they were another race or religion the idea would not be appealing.'

[EmCatlyn]

18 minutes ago, roddma said:

I've never understood the appeal of young adult essentially doing nothing. I remind fans if they were another race or religion the idea would not be appealing.'

Someone should write a parody anthropological study of the tribe of Ardug in some Pacific archipelago.  These people believe that God has made them special and that so long as they have many children and talk a lot about God, they will be taken care of.  Their religion teaches that children must serve their parents until marriage and producing children of their own. Hard work is for the very young (who don't know better and are at the mercy of their parents) and members of rival tribes.

A man proves his godliness by fathering lots of children. A woman's role is to satisfy the man's sexual desires even when she is ill, pregnant or tired.  If she is good, she will be rewarded with more pregnancies which will resound to the glory of the earthly father as well as the Heavenly Father.

It doesn't matter if a man cannot feed his children.  Under no circumstances does a real man work for someone else unless that someone else is his father-in-law.  God provides food and clothing--it is the duty of other tribes to supply the Ardugs with what the Ardugs need.  If the other tribes don't understand the importance of providing for the Ardugs, there should be a lot of talk about God, especially in His manifestation of Susje.  Mention of Susje should always be rewarded by love gifts.  Getting the other tribes to understand this is one of the major challenges for the Ardugs.

The Ardug youth are not trained to do anything, nor are they allowed to leave their island.  The Ardug believe all other tribes are inferior in the eyes of God, and they spend a lot of time telling others about their own superiority. 

And so on. (Help me out here, anyone.)

 

[EyeQueue]

OK, I am SEVERELY In debt to whoever upthread provided the link to the "Defaming Duggars" blog. This has really cheered up my Sunday morning.

Check out "The Top 10 Worse Episodes of 19KAC": https://defamingduggars.wordpress.com/2016/02/20/the-top-10-worst-episodes-of-19kac/

Some gems:

Derick and Bin are described as "180-lb sentient tumors."

A reminder that Boob actually yelled "Hola" at a taxi driver in *Japan* (what a flippin' asshat).

And this awesome sentence: "So Jim Bob naturally let’s a TLC camera crew right into the operating room and add stress to stress as she goes under. What a caring, devoted father fuckheaded piece of assholery straight from Satan’s anus." (About letting the camera crew in to film Jill's wisdom teeth removal.

[Ungodly Grandma]

30 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

Someone should write a parody anthropological study of the tribe of Ardug in some Pacific archipelago.  These people believe that God has made them special and that so long as they have many children and talk a lot about God, they will be taken care of.  Their religion teaches that children must serve their parents until marriage and producing children of their own. Hard work is for the very young (who don't know better and are at the mercy of their parents) and members of rival tribes.

A man proves his godliness by fathering lots of children. A woman's role is to satisfy the man's sexual desires even when she is ill, pregnant or tired.  If she is good, she will be rewarded with more pregnancies which will resound to the glory of the earthly father as well as the Heavenly Father.

It doesn't matter if a man cannot feed his children.  Under no circumstances does a real man work for someone else unless that someone else is his father-in-law.  God provides food and clothing--it is the duty of other tribes to supply the Ardugs with what the Ardugs need.  If the other tribes don't understand the importance of providing for the Ardugs, there should be a lot of talk about God, especially in His manifestation of Susje.  Mention of Susje should always be rewarded by love gifts.  Getting the other tribes to understand this is one of the major challenges for the Ardugs.

The Ardug youth are not trained to do anything, nor are they allowed to leave their island.  The Ardug believe all other tribes are inferior in the eyes of God, and they spend a lot of time telling others about their own superiority. 

And so on. (Help me out here, anyone.)

 

Sometimes, to encourage support of their superiority, they bring their children, dressed alike, and walking in two rows.

The children line up in a public place and begin cauterwauling loudly to remind people to give. 

Food in round silver cylinders is highly prized, and stockpiled. 

You are too good at this,EmCatlyn. I need to warm up!

[EmCatlyn]

33 minutes ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

Sometimes, to encourage support of their superiority, they bring their children, dressed alike, and walking in two rows.

The children line up in a public place and begin cauterwauling loudly to remind people to give. 

Yes, of course! How could I forget the caterwauling!

The Ardug engage in ritual caterwauling in public spaces when other methods of attracting attention fail.  They are very careful that the sounds they make which pass for music should never have a recognizable beat.  

The Ardug see all men, even little boys, as potential sex fiends who may be stirred to ungodly desire by women whose bodies are not hugely pregnant or concealed beneath shapeless garments.  Even girl children may defraud the male gaze by moving in ways a man may find arousing or showing her knees.  

All Ardug men and boys must resist the urge to become a master baiter.  The masculine awareness of the biological staff of manhood is to be respected and feared as this awareness, especially when stimulated by the sight of the female of the species, may lead to the forbidden practice of master baiting.

Females of other tribes are especially tempting because they dress in garments known as Nike, which means "might make you want to master bait."

 

Next...

[Ungodly Grandma]

4 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

Yes, of course! How could I forget the caterwauling!

The Ardug engage in ritual caterwauling in public spaces when other methods of attracting attention fail.  They are very careful that the sounds they make which pass for music should never have a recognizable beat.  

The Ardug see all men, even little boys, as potential sex fiends who may be stirred to ungodly desire by women whose bodies are not hugely pregnant or concealed beneath shapeless garments.  Even girl children may defraud the male gaze by moving in ways a man may find arousing or showing her knees.  

All Ardug men and boys must resist the urge to become a master baiter.  The masculine awareness of the biological staff of manhood is to be respected and feared as this awareness, especially when stimulated by the sight of the female of the species, may lead to the forbidden practice of master baiting.

Females of other tribes are especially tempting because they dress in garments known as Nike, which means "might make you want to master bait."

 

Next...

Due to their preoccupation with procreation, there are several rituals associated with pregnancy and childbirth.

One is called something that sounds like "Jinder Reveal." (Sometimes their dialect is beyond my capabilities, forgive me.)

This is a festival where one color or another will be disclosed, to great excitement. This excitement is in spite of the fact that it is either pink or blue. (When purple has been shown as the appropriate color for a particular pregnancy, abortion suddenly becomes acceptable.) Many people congregate, surrounded by clues such as plastic painted flamingos. On at least one such occasion, both pink and blue doves were released, and a team came out and shot all the pink doves, to reveal (drum roll) BLUE.. Cheap food is often served. 

The "baby shower" is another such celebration. This too, is a group of both sexes, apparently the females if left alone just gape at each other. Males are present to be sure of conversation and offering opening. This ritual includes games for both males and females, 

[2manyKidzzz]

I think we need to establish some  Literary Awards. 

[Bad Wolf]

There are magic words that the male Ardugs must utter before the act of procreation.  They are secret, but our researchers have found them. In all instances, the male Ardug must say, "hey, hey, hey." Without this, procreation (also known as sweet fellowship), cannot take place.

[Timetostoplurking]

 The hair of both males and females is to be worn in particular manner.  Females must never ever cut theirs.  It is forbidden!   It is not known what will happen if the hair is cut, but the general consensuous is that brain cell generation may occur.   The males do not want this to happen so they do not allow the cutting of female hair.   The males, on the other hand, frequently have their hair cut.  Often times by the placement of a bowl on the top of the head and cutting everything underneath.  This is a bonding ritual, often taking place between newly wedded couples.  In fact, a young newly married female may take years to perfect the traditional "bowl" cut.  The male will then have to endure an irregular haircut for a time.  If a couple spends too much time away from other tribesmen, this ritual decreases.  Resulting in a shaggy unkept appearance in the male.  Experts are not sure why this happens. It is one of the many fascinating aspects of tribal life.  

[quiverofdoubt]

The ardug avoid businesses and institutions not run by fellow tribe members. If they are required to break this rule special papers are handed out in place of a tip. Special targets also get a photograph of the ardugs in ritualistic dress and formation. It is unclear as to the purpose of these papers, but they appear to be borderline sacred to the ardugs.  Researchers believe they may be intended to bring more people into their tribe. The only exceptions to these rules is participation in local government institutions, where the hope of forcing their rules and rituals on the public at large outweighs the fears of interacting with non tribes members. This exception is only acceptable for the males of the species. 

[choralcrusader8613]

This Ardug parody stuff is hilarious!

[EmCatlyn]

2 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

There are magic words that the male Ardugs must utter before the act of procreation.  They are secret, but our researchers have found them. In all instances, the male Ardug must say, "hey, hey, hey." Without this, procreation (also known as sweet fellowship), cannot take place.

Ardugs have such great respect for the "Hey, hey, hey," that it may only be used by a man to his mate in the eyes of Susje, and when the mate hears it (and she hears it often) she must stop whatever she is doing, hand the latest baby to one of her daughters, and head to a private spot for "sweet fellowship."  Ardugs make it easier for females to be available to the call of the "Hey, hey, hey," by requiring that all women wear skirts.  

[Bad Wolf]

We're all going to hell. 

[Melissa1977]

Wow! @EmCaltyn (& others) the Ardug story is great!!!!!!11!!!! 

[Ungodly Grandma]

5 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

We're all going to hell. 

Laughing all the way! 

[ksgranola1]

13 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

Someone should write a parody anthropological study of the tribe of Ardug in some Pacific archipelago.  These people believe that God has made them special and that so long as they have many children and talk a lot about God, they will be taken care of.  Their religion teaches that children must serve their parents until marriage and producing children of their own. Hard work is for the very young (who don't know better and are at the mercy of their parents) and members of rival tribes.

A man proves his godliness by fathering lots of children. A woman's role is to satisfy the man's sexual desires even when she is ill, pregnant or tired.  If she is good, she will be rewarded with more pregnancies which will resound to the glory of the earthly father as well as the Heavenly Father.

It doesn't matter if a man cannot feed his children.  Under no circumstances does a real man work for someone else unless that someone else is his father-in-law.  God provides food and clothing--it is the duty of other tribes to supply the Ardugs with what the Ardugs need.  If the other tribes don't understand the importance of providing for the Ardugs, there should be a lot of talk about God, especially in His manifestation of Susje.  Mention of Susje should always be rewarded by love gifts.  Getting the other tribes to understand this is one of the major challenges for the Ardugs.

The Ardug youth are not trained to do anything, nor are they allowed to leave their island.  The Ardug believe all other tribes are inferior in the eyes of God, and they spend a lot of time telling others about their own superiority. 

And so on. (Help me out here, anyone.)

 

That's hilarious. And mostly true.

[Gobsmacked]

Could buzzard link  it all together as new sections are added!

you are all brilliant!!

[Ungodly Grandma]

9 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Wow! @EmCaltyn (& others) the Ardug story is great!!!!!!11!!!! 

EmCatlyn has done this before, I suspect! Very good idea.  And very well done.

[Mothership]

On occasion, the Ardugs have been known to travel to Sandy Island to commune with other like minded tribes.  Some cross pollination (Ardugs often refer to heyheyhey in terms of Birds, Bees and legos) may occur because of the annual Sandy Island outings.

Lately, there has been some concerns from outside tribes about the chief of Sandy Island, but the Ardugs do not listen to outsiders, so apparently the news has not come to them.  

[HereticHick]

2 minutes ago, Mothership said:

On occasion, the Ardugs have been known to travel to Sandy Island to commune with other like minded tribes.  Some cross pollination (Ardugs often refer to heyheyhey in terms of Birds, Bees and legos) may occur because of the annual Sandy Island outings.

Lately, there has been some concerns from outside tribes about the chief of Sandy Island, but the Ardugs do not listen to outsiders, so apparently the news has not come to them.  

The annual trip to Sandy Island starts tomorrow, BTW. They are loading up the canoes as I type this.  Who knows what cross pollination process might begin while queueing up at the provisions line.

[TuringMachine]

Sorry to tangent here a bit but every time I see a glimpse of the girls room in the TTH I can't help but think where do they all sleep! Like seriously I count four beds in there and there are how many people sleeping in there? Anna, Jana, Jinger, Joy, Johanna, Jenny, Jordryn, Josie, and presumably Mackynzie and maybe Marcus and Michael? Even with doubling up that's not enough beds.  I would have thought they'd keep Anna and her kids in the guest house for room but I guess that's too much freedom for a woman. 

[choralcrusader8613]

1 minute ago, TuringMachine said:

Sorry to tangent here a bit but every time I see a glimpse of the girls room in the TTH I can't help but think where do they all sleep! Like seriously I count four beds in there and there are how many people sleeping in there? Anna, Jana, Jinger, Joy, Johanna, Jenny, Jordryn, Josie, and presumably Mackynzie and maybe Marcus and Michael? Even with doubling up that's not enough beds.  I would have thought they'd keep Anna and her kids in the guest house for room but I guess that's too much freedom for a woman. 

I would assume Michael and Marcus would stay in the boys' room (though I don't know where they'd find room for them there either). With Anna, Mackynzie, and Meredith, they may triple up in one bed. But I agree; the math doesn't add up.

[iweartanktops]

15 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

Sorry to tangent here a bit but every time I see a glimpse of the girls room in the TTH I can't help but think where do they all sleep! Like seriously I count four beds in there and there are how many people sleeping in there? Anna, Jana, Jinger, Joy, Johanna, Jenny, Jordryn, Josie, and presumably Mackynzie and maybe Marcus and Michael? Even with doubling up that's not enough beds.  I would have thought they'd keep Anna and her kids in the guest house for room but I guess that's too much freedom for a woman. 

Whenever I see their room, I remember that there's a framed photo of teenage JB on the wall.