Sparkling Adventures Pt 10 - David Pleads Guilty - Merge

[Trynn]

I would LOVE to know more about my Ukranian family. I'm only 3rd generation american, so I'm comfortable saying that I'm "Ukranian" if someone asks about my heritage, but I grew up In a very american home, and wouldn't bring up the Ukraine unless otherwise asked.

I've tried to look stuff up about my family but even ancestry.com hits dead ends once you hit the ancestor who came over because it doesn't like non US records for some reason.

[DaffyDill]

Well, I claim Irish and Welsh ancestry very proudly. Several branches of my family have been here since colonial days. I still claim it though. I'm proud of both my American and Celtic heritage. I've been to Ireland and it felt like home to me. That being said, I'm not trying to claim anything that my DNA doesn't bear out so...

I was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland, as was my father. My mum was born in a country town in Australia, and her family has been traced back to 1066 and the Battle of Hastings (my great grandparents came here from Scotland when my grandfather was 6 months old).

However, despite being born there and having an Irish parent, I find it hard to claim being Irish. I can't remember living there, I don't recall a thing about it. I'm happy to say my ancestry is Scots/Irish, but I pretty much stop short of saying I am Irish because it doesn't feel right to claim that.

[FiddleDD]

My family had one advantage in this grief journey. We knew it would happen and we signed up for it.

I thought that would matter a lot more than it has, but I have a friend I support who came home to find a healthy pre-teen had committed suicide, and I had a patient this weekend who lost an 11 year old when s horse bucked him and the carrot he was eating got lodged in his brain. Or, Lauren's husband took their infant son for a walk and drowned him.

At least this journey wasn't something we didn't know would happen to us. And I truly think ultimately my kids will thrive in part because they want to carry on his legacy and the lessons one little boy that world called unlovable taught all of us about living and loving.

The kids still in therapy are there because it hurts. But even they are protective of weaker humans and compassionate in a way that blows my mind because of their brother.

A group of the kids, myself and one of my best friends are running a 5K in his memory this month. That's a huge step for us. We've only cried a little and will only cry a little more, I expect.

I would just hate to be the admission committees that have to read my kids personal statements for college and beyond. Two want to be doctors, one wants to be a NP and one wants a PhD in Biophysics so he can find cures to terminal diseases. He used to want to find the cure to his brother's disease but then decided no one should have to lose a loved one so young so if he can cure diseases that kill, he doesn't care which ones.

I'd just like to take a quick moment to thank you Chaotic Life, for being so frank and honest about your experience. Reading these threads over the past couple years I feel like I've learned a lot about grief from your posts. It helps me to be more compassionate and understanding to those who have lost a child.

[So Many Lies]

I suspect it comes from not feeling like she belongs anywhere as a third culture kid raising her kids as a different culture again (hippy). But that makes it ever stupider if she starts claiming aboriginality. She's not even really culturally Australian, let alone indigenous Australian. She was raised in an African boarding school amongst Americans from the age of six.

it will open the door to a whole heap of new activism opportunities and that's totally been her shtick these last few years.

I really have my doubts as to how well received it will be.

God knows we ALL have a bit of this and that but claiming aboriginality as a white former missionary really takes the cake.

As in I'm introducing my daughters to "their people"!

That's effing embarrassing, even for Lauren!

[August]

I would LOVE to know more about my Ukranian family. I'm only 3rd generation american, so I'm comfortable saying that I'm "Ukranian" if someone asks about my heritage, but I grew up In a very american home, and wouldn't bring up the Ukraine unless otherwise asked.

h

I've tried to look stuff up about my family but even ancestry.com hits dead ends once you hit the ancestor who came over because it doesn't like non US records for some reason.

Try going beyond ancestry.com There's an awesome French site where I got all my French ancestors from. Of course it's way easier to read a French website without reading French than it is Ukranian.

[ladyaudley]

Well, I claim Irish and Welsh ancestry very proudly. Several branches of my family have been here since colonial days. I still claim it though. I'm proud of both my American and Celtic heritage. I've been to Ireland and it felt like home to me. That being said, I'm not trying to claim anything that my DNA doesn't bear out so...

nothing wrong with claiming and being proud of ancestry. But there's a difference between saying "My family came from Ireland/ I have Irish ancestors" and saying "I'm Irish, too!". If your family has lived in another country for several generations and you were born and raised in that culture and that country, then you're from that country. I don't really understand what's wrong with being American, either! :)

Lauren just wants to be the most special of snowflakes in every aspect...

[blessalessi]

She sounds as though she is parodying herself, in that post.

I hope she stays in one place for a while to give those dear kids some stability.

[Clementine]

This is low. Even for Lauren it's so so low. She's claiming aboriginality? So she's a gypsy, Gayby carrying aboriginal now.

She's a moron. Those kids must be so confused.

I notice she's put the "Gayby" movie.up too. She's just pissed off she doesn't have a lead role.

I wonder what kind of relationship she has with the fathers in Iceland. I got the impression that she wanted them all to be one big happy rainbow family, while the dads just played along to get their kid and were more than happy when the crazy hippy travelled back to the other end of the world.

[So Many Lies]

I wonder what kind of relationship she has with the fathers in Iceland. I got the impression that she wanted them all to be one big happy rainbow family, while the dads just played along to get their kid and were more than happy when the crazy hippy travelled back to the other end of the world.

I wonder the same thing.

[So Many Lies]

A lot of this is very narcissistic.

I hate to bandy around terms like that but honestly it's all a bit of a worry.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Narcissistic. Yup. That sums up Lauren and her entire sparkling adventure.

[Granwych]

I suspect it comes from not feeling like she belongs anywhere as a third culture kid raising her kids as a different culture again (hippy). But that makes it ever stupider if she starts claiming aboriginality. She's not even really culturally Australian, let alone indigenous Australian. She was raised in an African boarding school amongst Americans from the age of six.

Maybe she read the hoopla about Rachel Volezal?

[Miggy]

A couple of things about Australian Aboriginals (prepare yourselves for a wall of text) ...

Tasmanian Aboriginals (also known as 2nd wave Aboriginals, mainlanders are 3rd wave) so exist. They weren't all "wiped out" as our older textbooks like to proclaim. Many were killed but others were taken to the islands in Bass Strait. My husband (who is a Kiwi) is descendant from these people.

What makes you Aboriginal? This is far trickier than what makes you Irish or German or many others. For along time there was a stigma attached to being Aboriginal. You lied. You pretended you were Asian. Anything to avoid the racism. Now, Aboriginal people are reclaiming their heritage. You do not have to look Aboriginal or speak a native language or have grown up in the culture to be Aboriginal. You need to have a history of Aboriginality and be accepted by your tribe. I have actually received criticism from within the Aboriginal community for not allowing my children to call themselves Aboriginal. A friend said to me that there has been too much denial for too long and I am continuing it. My response: my children have learnt our local language (Wiradjuri), they have learned about our local culture and if they choose to claim their heritage as adults, I will not stop them.

Sorry for the wall of text but I live in a community with a big indigenous population and the schools I work in are over 90% indigenous so it's a topic close to my heart.

If Lauren has even one indigenous ancestor and she wants to claim the heritage and be part of the community - great. Of course, this being Lauren, I suspect it's for all the wrong reasons.

[Miggy]

In relation to the above and completely off topic, this is why American forms with White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, other puzzle me. If you are racially African American but have fair skin, what are you? My Wiradjuri language teacher describes herself as a "White skinned black fella".

[chaotic life]

US forms generally now allow you to choose all that apply. Obviously, any African American with strong caucasian features have some level of European in them. But by the same token, plenty of Africans do too. The Portugese and Dutch were moving around in African LONG before they enters the Americas and the Arabs from the Middle East were there even before that point.

Race and ethnicity is never cut and dry. I think what is bothersome about Lauren is its so brand-new that she interjected it into events in Jan as if it occurred in Jan and of course she is now Aborigine as if she always claimed this and never didn't, which is her established pattern of re-writing her blog to make it look like whatever her current "authentic" is today.

[anjulibai]

In relation to the above and completely off topic, this is why American forms with White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, other puzzle me. If you are racially African American but have fair skin, what are you? My Wiradjuri language teacher describes herself as a "White skinned black fella".

It's ridiculously more complicated than just the shade of a person's skin. It's about socioeconomic status, culture, family background and even wider societal perceptions of individuals. As an idea of the complexity, it used to be the law in most places that if you had " one drop" of African ancestry (say only one of your great-great-great-grandparents was black), then legally you were black.

[LovelyLuna]

In relation to the above and completely off topic, this is why American forms with White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, other puzzle me. If you are racially African American but have fair skin, what are you? My Wiradjuri language teacher describes herself as a "White skinned black fella".

This American white girl has no clue. If I had to tick a box it would be: Northern European Mutt. I believe its complicated in a way I have no way of ever understanding.

Edit to say the person above me said it way better then I.

[DaffyDill]

In relation to the above and completely off topic, this is why American forms with White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, other puzzle me. If you are racially African American but have fair skin, what are you? My Wiradjuri language teacher describes herself as a "White skinned black fella".

My eldest son's best mate was offered a place in uni, which he wouldn't have ordinarily had due to his low TER score in HSC. He's as Ocker Australian as they come, white skin, blue eyes, blonde hair, but suddenly, without ever mentioning it before in the 16 years they had known one another, he was given a place in uni because he could tick the Aboriginal heritage box on the application forms.

His family are very well off and live in a huge home, he hasn't suffered at all from his very slight bit of Aboriginal blood, and I have to admit, his entry into Uni really rubbed me the wrong way. Turns out, he could lay claim to 1/16th Aboriginal (I think that was it) and could prove it.

After going for a year or two, he dropped out. No one was surprised.

[Blahblah]

Hi Daffy, I would be rubbed up the wrong way too. It irks me to no end when someone claims membership of a group just for the benefits of it. TER scores (tertiary education entrance scores) were also manipulated based on whether a kid attended a "disadvantaged" school. Hey presto, kids from wealthy families suddenly appeared at these schools to boost their chances of getting into Law or Medicine. Same thing. If someone is disadvantaged, fair enough, but if they aren't, and they take away from someone who is, that's just wrong. Are you listening Lauren?

[ladyaudley]

UK forms often call it Caucasian OR have a breakdown, featuring White British, White European and Other White (and the same for other races)- they always give you an option not to disclose, too, though.

[DaffyDill]

Hi Daffy, I would be rubbed up the wrong way too. It irks me to no end when someone claims membership of a group just for the benefits of it. TER scores (tertiary education entrance scores) were also manipulated based on whether a kid attended a "disadvantaged" school. Hey presto, kids from wealthy families suddenly appeared at these schools to boost their chances of getting into Law or Medicine. Same thing. If someone is disadvantaged, fair enough, but if they aren't, and they take away from someone who is, that's just wrong. Are you listening Lauren?

Yep. I really liked this kid, and if he had come from a family that had suffered from Ill health, poor educational opportunities, economic mismanagement, or any hardship due to their Aboriginality, I would have been more than happy for him to have had a chance at Uni. But he hadn't been through anything negative whatsoever, and in fact came from quite a well off upper middle class background, where his parents could afford computers for studying, even tutors. Kids in a position such as his need to be means tested IMHO, not just given a free ride into Uni, depriving someone else of a spot, purely because they've chosen to use a very small part of their heritage to gain an advantage.

[bionicmlle]

I just want to add that I really hope she posts soon with some photos of the girls because I always saw the blog as a way to keep an eye on them. :shifty-kitty:

[Blueruin]

The discussion of Aboriginal is fascinating to me, in Canada they do it based off of lineage and a form of blood quantum (although not recognized in Canada as blood quantum that's purely a U.S. Thing). You can be status (like myself), non-status or Metis. Status means you have at least one parent from your reserve or band and that you are on the band roll, non status are people who could not be put on the band roll (either due to the government closing it or lack of parent on reserve at time of birth) and Metis which is a French / First Nations cross that in order to belong to you have to trace your lineage back to the red river rebellion.

If someone as light skinned as Lauren tried that in Canada people would be demanding her status or Metis card, or they'd blow her off as a wannabe.

[Miggy]

Many Aus Aboriginal children were removed from their families and raised in orphanages or foster care (referred to as "The Stolen Generations".) Some ran away and returned to their families as children/teens, some returned as adults and some lost their connection completely. There has been a push for people to find and reclaim their heritage.

I still say, I would rather a few dodgy people slip through than we risk cutting out anyone genuine..

[Blueruin]

Many Aus Aboriginal children were removed from their families and raised in orphanages or foster care (referred to as "The Stolen Generations".) Some ran away and returned to their families as children/teens, some returned as adults and some lost their connection completely. There has been a push for people to find and reclaim their heritage.

I still say, I would rather a few dodgy people slip through than we risk cutting out anyone genuine..

That is the premise being rabbit proof fence (I believe). Very haunting.

Canada hard residential schools and forced assimilation, still working on reclaimation, so I understand (but don't want to sound trite while doing so).

I just wish there was some sort of way to vet what Lauren is claiming. Cultural appropriation really gets to me.