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Dad "Marries" His Terminally Ill Daughter So She Won't Die Without Having her Dream Wedding


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MzMcLean

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/dad-marries-terminally-ill-daughter-143702269.html

 

This article caught my eye and turned my stomach. Can't do much background footwork at the moment... but it felt very FJ discussable...

 

16 months old!!! If she were 6 and wedding obsessed as some little ones are, I'd feel better about this. But this feels so.... fundieicky

Edited by OnceUponATime
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catlady

that's disturbing on so many levels.  last year, a little girl around age eight "married" the nurse who cared for her during a long hospitalization; apparently, she asked him to marry her, and they did the ceremony with ring-pops right before she was discharged.  it was very cute, but the girl was involved in it.

this guy here just comes across as creepy, because clearly this baby doesn't understand what's going on.

MzMcLean, I love your avatar!!!

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Jana814
9 minutes ago, catlady said:

that's disturbing on so many levels.  last year, a little girl around age eight "married" the nurse who cared for her during a long hospitalization; apparently, she asked him to marry her, and they did the ceremony with ring-pops right before she was discharged.  it was very cute, but the girl was involved in it.

this guy here just comes across as creepy, because clearly this baby doesn't understand what's going on.

MzMcLean, I love your avatar!!!

I heard that story you mentained. I thought it was really sweet.  However, this story is kind of creepy. 

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This is sad. This man has dreams of his daughter's wedding. Does his daughter have any idea what the hell is going on? Playing dress-up with her daddy, perhaps?  I wonder what his sons think of this. 

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SpurgeonSquarepants

Yeah, this was clearly for the dad and/or both parents. I'm sure that poor, terminally ill baby would have prefer staying in fluffy blankets and sleepers versus itchy lace for a ridiculous  'wedding'.

Edited by SpurgeonSquarepants
Autocorrect Riffles.
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Eternalbluepearl

I think this was more to make a memory for the parents and possibly the siblings. It's not my taste, but I can't snark too hard, this family was told their baby had 2 days to live. Just horrible. 

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Crocoduck

I am not a parent, but I can feel some amount of the horror this family must be enduring. I remember being advised that the terminally ill and the caregivers of the terminally ill should be given wide behavioral latitude. I think that advice applies here.

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Jingerbread

Not snarking.  This is for the family.  They're going to be robbed of a lot of experiences with her, and are grieving.  Let them have this in peace without negative commentary.

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socalrules

I can't snark on people who have been told their baby is going to die. It doesn't hurt anyone and they get wonderful memories and pictures of their beautiful baby. Their hopes and dreams for their baby die with her, so if this helps them make these last days a little brighter, I don't see the problem. Not everything is bad just because it's not something we would do. I would hope none of us would be in their position to have to make choices like this. 

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SpoonfulOSugar

Here's a British source's take on the story:

http://metro.co.uk/2016/03/24/dad-married-his-daughter-after-being-told-she-had-just-two-days-to-live-5773794/

Not fundie at all.  A grieving family doing their best to cope with a way to say good-bye.

Also worth noting that it was the father's mates from his unit (RAF) who helped put this together overnight.

What a tragic situation.  So, so sad.

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MzMcLean
42 minutes ago, catlady said:

that's disturbing on so many levels.  last year, a little girl around age eight "married" the nurse who cared for her during a long hospitalization; apparently, she asked him to marry her, and they did the ceremony with ring-pops right before she was discharged.  it was very cute, but the girl was involved in it.

this guy here just comes across as creepy, because clearly this baby doesn't understand what's going on.

MzMcLean, I love your avatar!!!

Now THAT'S the kind of story I can get behind...And finish a box  Kleenex reading. 

 

Thanks :-) Was inspired by a random twitter conversation with Donnie Wahlberg once upon a time lol

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THERetroGamerNY

I think this speaks a lot more towards how people react, and deal with, grief/loss than anything else......

Like how Victorians would hold full-scale funerals for beloved cats.

I think CS Lewis even married his dying love on her death bed?

I think humanity can do difficult to understand things when faced with crippling loss.....

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OodOnTheLoo

I agree, it's just a way to celebrate this little one under the worst of circumstances.  Heartbreaking.

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blessalessi

Yeah, we don't really have fundies in the UK in any case, but this is clearly a ritual they are using to cope with learning that a baby is going to die. They spent 4 months of her little life having treatment but found out at 16 months that she can't be saved. I have no idea what would be a "normal" way to process that kind of news. :(

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kettlingur
19 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

Yeah, we don't really have fundies in the UK in any case, but this is clearly a ritual they are using to cope with learning that a baby is going to die. They spent 4 months of her little life having treatment but found out at 16 months that she can't be saved. I have no idea what would be a "normal" way to process that kind of news. :(

How do you define a fundie? Cause I have aquaintences/relatives that I'd call fundie that live in the UK... Maybe I define fundie wrong though.

I agree about what you say in this case though, it seems like a very sad situation which they are coping with in an unusual way, but as you say, I have no idea how you'd process that situation 'normally'.

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blessalessi

Sorry, I should have said that we don't have large populations of fundies here.  Although I am aware of some individual families and small churches, it does not seem to be a widespread thing and so the stuff FJ defines as the "creepy" things like the purity movement, daddy daughter dances, etc, didn't immediately come to mind when I read the headline.

 I actually doubt many fundies anywhere would truck with the scenario we are talking about, but in a tiny population like ours, it didn't seem at all likely.

When I think of fundies in the UK, I think of strict little bible chapels and old-fashioned, "traditional" views on marriage and child-rearing.  I would imagine the response from a conservative British church to involve a formal visit from the chapel elders and lots of home-cooked meals being delivered by the church ladies.

 

 

Edited by blessalessi
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kettlingur

Oh, I didn't think about it like that, you're right, we don't have a whole lot of that more high profile creepy stuff.

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blessalessi

Pentecostal churches are often higher profile, and I have personal experience of strict control with a side order of charismania, but the creepiness there wasn't daddy-daughter-ish in my experience.

 

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kettlingur

Yeah, I have some friends who go to a vinyard church wich tends towards the bizarre in terms of charismatic stuff. But I do also know people who go in for the whole courting/daddy's permission/headship lunacy which goes with purity balls, just there aren't enough of them for a ball.

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Glasgowghirl

Such a sad story I don't have a problem with the 'wedding' the little girl probably loved dressing up like a princess. I feel for this poor family 

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lilwriter85

I remember the story about the little girl and the nurse from the children's hospital. I understood that because the little girl had a crush on him.  There was another story about a teenage girl who was dying from ALS and she and a boyfriend had a "friendship ceremony" so she could experience what a wedding would be like.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/40665118/ns/health-health_care/t/teenage-couple-faces-deadly-diagnosis/

 

The story about the dad "marrying" the terminally ill daughter is little hard to take because of her age.

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blessalessi
56 minutes ago, kettlingur said:

Yeah, I have some friends who go to a vinyard church wich tends towards the bizarre in terms of charismatic stuff. But I do also know people who go in for the whole courting/daddy's permission/headship lunacy which goes with purity balls, just there aren't enough of them for a ball.

Yes, it is the bolded that I meant.  I certainly don't think we are short on daft ideas, as a nation, ;) but we are a small island and you need a critical mass of people to take some things forward. The pentecostals here have the numbers but it is not their bag. The Ring Thing took off here a while back among the small independents, but that is more a personal/family thing.

I don't think this episode is being supported for religious reasons though, just out of sympathy for the family.

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Yes, TOTALLY
2 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

I remember the story about the little girl and the nurse from the children's hospital. I understood that because the little girl had a crush on him.  There was another story about a teenage girl who was dying from ALS and she and a boyfriend had a "friendship ceremony" so she could experience what a wedding would be like.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/40665118/ns/health-health_care/t/teenage-couple-faces-deadly-diagnosis/

 

The story about the dad "marrying" the terminally ill daughter is little hard to take because of her age.

That was the saddest thing I have read in a while. Sweet though. Thanks for sharing it!

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lilwriter85
48 minutes ago, Yes, TOTALLY said:

That was the saddest thing I have read in a while. Sweet though. Thanks for sharing it!

You're welcome. I saw it when it originally aired on NBC Nightly News. It was heartbreaking and a few days several friends shared the link on FB. A couple mentioned the similarity to the A Walk to Remember book and movie.

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