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louisa05

Hey Married People: Beware of strangers who speak nicely to you.

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louisa05

A young fundie-lite relative shared this on Facebook. 

I don't even know what to say about it. Summary: Woman was annoyed with her husband, out in public with kids looking tired and frustrated and a man she didn't know said something nice to her (which was not in the least bit suggestive, mind you). Apparently, this made her think immediately of having an affair and ruining her marriage. Or it could make her think of that. Or she thought that the man spoke nicely to her because he wanted to have an affair. I'm not sure. But she realized that when strange people of the opposite gender speak nicely to her, it could ruin her marriage. Thus, this blog post which warns us all about falling into "quicksand". The quicksand apparently being polite strangers. 

For your reading pleasure: 

http://beckythompson.com/2016/03/21/beware-of-quicksand-how-one-strangers-comment-changed-my-marriage-forever/

And as a bonus, I love the comment from someone married 35 years who declares that "marriage is a battlefield, constantly". Her home life must be delightful. 

Edited by OnceUponATime
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ladyamylynn

And that's why you should never be nice to people. You're literally helping Satan ruin marriages. Maybe we should have some sort of gender-segregated society. Maybe something like this?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudi_Arabia

ETA thanks for getting Pat Benatar stuck in my head.

Edited by ladyamylynn

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Hera

If be wary of a strange man approaching me on the street and being nice instead of throwing catcalls, but only because I'd figure he's either going to try to sell me something or convert me. Also, he could be a serial killer, but more likely a salesman or on a mission for my soul.  Fucking him and ruining my marriage wouldn't even occur to me. But I have actual self-control.

Edited by Hera

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ShepherdontheRock

Oh for god's sake...

I mean, I guess her marriage was never that great to begin with if she couldn't shake that comment off.

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RosyDaisy

I live in the damn South. Every man at least smiles and says hi. My husband included. We call it being friendly and polite.

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Tired
Iamhispurity

Maybe something is missing in her marriage and his compliment made her realize that. Instead of it being a conversation starter for her and her husband, she uses it to shame other women.

It is a sad world, where everything is a temptation and no doubt is allowed. I do not even want to know how many of these marriages are deeply unhappy, but the women can not voice any doubts. 

Edited by Iamhispurity

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Screamapillar

Point taken. Next time some random on the street comments on my posterior I will promptly call my husband up and say "I just wanted to let you know that I love you and you have a nice ass." Otherwise, Satan will destroy my marriage!

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Handmaiden of Dog

I'm 58.  It doesn't happen very often but once in awhile a strange man will smile at me and start flirting. I always go home and tell my husband.  Sometimes we even end up getting a bonus round in the bedroom.  So you could say that strangers being kind/or flirty bring us closer. 

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Sundaymorning
23 minutes ago, ladyamylynn said:

And that's why you should never be nice to people. You're literally helping Satan ruin marriages. Maybe we should have some sort of gender-segregated society. Maybe something like this?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudi_Arabia

ETA thanks for getting Pat Benatar stuck in my head.

If you want to know what a country would look like if fundies had their way, Saudi Arabia and Iran are good models.

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Pseudoname

Poor girl.  Too many women are victims of domestic abuse by jealous partners, and often another man noticing her is all it takes.  Even just being worried that your husband may be upset would be awful.  

But if the above is not the case, to think such an incident could lead to an affair may be like a calgon moment.  Many women have thoughts or fantasies about being carefree and unmarried when frazzled and having a bad day.  But few dwell on it.  As other pp have said, she may feel trapped in a bad marriage.

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Sobeknofret

Isn't this the same woman who went on a crusade against yoga pants? Because they defrauded her poor husband?

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Shiny

What a sad marriage she must have. Her husband is not doing his husbandly (?) duty if a simple comment from a guy could potentially blow up her whole marriage. Men are very often polite to me- holding doors, helping with groceries, saying nice comments about this or that. Sometimes these guys are my age, older, or with their families. I would hate to live in a world where that's not the case. 

I also can't imagine my husband getting upset when I make a phone call during a busy work day. He can either choose not to answer it or take a quick break and see what I need. Or, do what most people do and send a text so he's not interrupted. 

These damn people make the simplest choices feel like sword of Damocles is hovering above them. I can't imagine how stressful that must be. 

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Rubaiyat
1 hour ago, ladyamylynn said:

 

ETA thanks for getting Pat Benatar stuck in my head.

We are YOUNG!  Heartache to heartache, we STAND!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40YVEH8QC6o

 

Sorry, can't figure out how to embed a video.  Click it.  You know you want to.  

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Waffle Time
Hane

Yeah, because guys looking to pick up women always zero in on the tired-looking ones out clothes shopping with a passel of kids. 

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ladyamylynn
22 minutes ago, Hane said:

Yeah, because guys looking to pick up women always zero in on the tired-looking ones out clothes shopping with a passel of kids. 

Sexy!!

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Anny Nym

So she told her hubby, she had only two options... on the battlefield out there at the mall... and the enemy almost got her. Because the enemy is always out there lurking.

Alright.

 

Say, is there a modest tinfoil hat collection for crazy-ass paranoid fundies?

Do they come with this giant headband flowers too?

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HereticHick
1 hour ago, Handmaiden of Dog said:

I'm 58.  It doesn't happen very often but once in awhile a strange man will smile at me and start flirting. I always go home and tell my husband.  Sometimes we even end up getting a bonus round in the bedroom.  So you could say that strangers being kind/or flirty bring us closer. 

It is nice when you get to that age when you can flirt right back.

Oops, I guess Satan told me to say that.

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Denim Jumper

:2wankers:

It seems slightly deranged to take a presumably well-intention word from a passing stranger, and dismiss it as creepy (no mention was made of him grabbing his crotch or licking his lips), and somehow a danger to your marriage. I mean yeah, if he's good-looking I might get a smutty tingle or some lady wood, but that's it; I'm going home for some make-up sex.

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Rubaiyat

Oh, for the love of crap.  Whatever happened to BasicHumanDecencyTM?  She's mentioned that she was out with the kids, looking stressed and haggard.  Some (probably totally) nice guy asked if she was okay.  He could just be a member of the human race exercising his concern for the general welfare of this around him.  I've had those days, and been that mom.  Never mind whether it was as recent as this afternoon...  I always feel uplifted if someone expresses a genuine concern (no matter how passing) for my wellbeing.  A smile don't hurt none, either. Geez.  

Or, you know: SATAN!!!  SATAN EVERYWHERE!!  HE'S AFTER OUR GODLY MARRIAGES!!  

Pssst.  I'm pretty sure Satan (on the off chance he exists in a form conducive to such things) has other shit to do, and isn't out there concocting Marriage Ruination Schemes of Great Effectiveness by prompting young men to inquire as to the wellbeing of young mothers in public.  

Dude.  Who has the kind of time on their hands that it must take to come up with this sort of malarkey?!?!  

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December

I can't imagine how stressful it must be to look at the rest of the world as a terrible, Satanic threat. 

I get that creepiness is in the eye of the beholder but that comment to me doesn't read as stalkery.  I guess I don't see a stranger striking up a conversation as automatically creepy, especially if it's in a public place, nobody's cornered, and there's no additional lewd/weird behavior. I've been having a stressful day before and been asked by a (male) stranger if I was okay because I looked fairly disheveled in a store... I just thought it was polite concern. Also, even if someone is hitting on you and it's unwanted, can't you just say "no thanks, not interested" and worst case if they won't let up call the manager/police? 

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FundieFarmer
Isn't this the same woman who went on a crusade against yoga pants? Because they defrauded her poor husband?

My friends & I were the cause of an article like that in our Christian school paper.

This is ridiculous. Talk about an overreaction. I concur- have some self-control.

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Gimme a Free RV

How does she handle strange women being nice to her?  I mean, you know, there could be desires stirred up.

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infooverload

Am I the only one who had the thought how did she know mystery guy was addressing her specifically? He could have been using a Bluetooth device and been talking to someone on the phone. In my case that's where my brain would go. The whole the enemy wants to destroy everything, makes me think of the saying "sometimes you are your own worst enemy." The marriage advice for women always seems to be keep your man satisfied in every aspect and make him feel like a special snowflake. Men get the treat your wives as Christ treats the church. Now our only reference to how Christ treated the church is in the Bible and well the treatment wasn't a constant source of special loving consistent effort.

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Terrie

I have never understood this idea that "the enemy" is personally plotting against every single Christian out there. Satan would have to be omnipresent to do so. I thought that was God's gig.

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AnywhereButHere

Because in bizzaro world "I hope your day gets better" is code for "dump your kids in the closest play place while we have torrid, monkey sex in the closest store dressing room. 

By that definition, I've had at least three affairs today alone. No wonder I'm so tired all the time.  :pb_rollseyes:

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