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Priss and Pecan: Texas Gleanin' - Part 2


Boogalou

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At my wedding, my husband gave his keys to my father (who could be trusted) because he knew his friends would try something extreme with the getaway car. His friends also tried all night to find out our hotel name for that night. It's a thing, apparently, where they are from, to all (and I mean even his parents' generation too) to prank like this. It's awful.

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They do this because they can't fill the car with condoms like normal people. I once helped my dad and another guy buy blowing up weird, slimy balloons (I was like 8) and filling my cousin's car at her wedding. It was a long time before that memory cropped back up and I realized what I had blown up. Note to self: lubed condoms should not be blown up. Especially by a child. :pb_confused:

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I hope that they show some pictures of the finished house.  I hope it's done to code, but I have doubts.  And I'm still having trouble believing baby number 3 is on the way.  If they end up with 9 or 10 kids, I'm going to be very shocked.

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Why? They will not use BC ever and are obviously fertile. If they DON'T  have the Average Fundie size family of 8 to 10 kids I will be very surprised.  David Waller may or may not be so far in the closet he might as well be in Narnia but people in his  state have been marrying and fathering  children For  millennia. 

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A friend of mine got married a few years back, and while she was on her honeymoon, her brother-in-law went into her house with a couple of other relatives (he had a key to feed the dogs), and they put rice in all of their drawers.  She found rice in her underwear for months.  She felt violated and would cry whenever she found a new pile of it, but her husband always defended his brother.  They were divorced a few years later.

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These fundies act like they value marriage more than the rest of it - like it's so much more sacred to them - and then they treat it like a farce at the wedding. It's just like how they claim to value children so much more than the rest of us, but they take reckless chances with their children's safety on a regular basis. 

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18 hours ago, Chicken bones said:

At my wedding, my husband gave his keys to my father (who could be trusted) because he knew his friends would try something extreme with the getaway car. His friends also tried all night to find out our hotel name for that night. It's a thing, apparently, where they are from, to all (and I mean even his parents' generation too) to prank like this. It's awful.

Oh yeah, Mr. No and I had to worry about pranks at our wedding.  We drove ourselves to the reception because we couldn't trust his then-friends at all.  So Mr. No had his car keys in his pocket  at all times.  We snuck out of our wedding early and we kept our hotel information only known to, oddly enough, my Maxwellian parents.   Even Mr. No's parents did not know.  The morning following our wedding, there was death in Mr. No's family so MIL had to call my folks to locate us.

Incidentally, Mr. No dropped some of those "friends" immediately after the wedding.  He was super pissed at them.

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When I married my first husband...we were young and he was Navy...yet...his friends didn't wreck our car! We had cans on the back, and "Just Married" and a few other things on the car...and "Professionally decorated by the USS *** Telephone Company" on the hood".

If my car had been wrecked "Duggar-style"...well, I'd have been kicking ass in my dress...they're assholes. 

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A couple balloons on the car, writing Just Married on the back window, maybe a sprinkling of condoms on the seat: fine, cute, harmless.

But if someone did a Duggar-style car prank at my hypothetical wedding, some Game of Thrones-level shit would go down. At least three deaths depending on who was in on it.

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5 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

A couple balloons on the car, writing Just Married on the back window, maybe a sprinkling of condoms on the seat: fine, cute, harmless.

But if someone did a Duggar-style car prank at my hypothetical wedding, some Game of Thrones-level shit would go down. At least three deaths depending on who was in on it.

AMEN!! 

Its not like they can't show their 'love and appreciation' for the Bride and Groom some other way. 

Nothing says I love you more than a can of Sardines and mothballs. Although, I still think Jilly was such a dick giving Erin a fire exinguisher for a prewedding gift. Erin can at least measure things correctly Jillymuffin can you?

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7 hours ago, PartriarchydefyinValkarie said:

AMEN!! 

Its not like they can't show their 'love and appreciation' for the Bride and Groom some other way. 

Nothing says I love you more than a can of Sardines and mothballs. Although, I still think Jilly was such a dick giving Erin a fire exinguisher for a prewedding gift. Erin can at least measure things correctly Jillymuffin can you?

Wait, seriously? What a dick.

I really don't understand some fundies' behavior at weddings. "Marriage is a sacred moment when a Godly young man takes a wife and the two become one flesh to fulfill their obligations to the Lord...let's cause possible permanent damage to the groom's car, give insulting gifts to the bride, serve half-assed refreshments in a parking lot to guests who came from a great distance and at possibly significant expense, hijack the ceremony with pranks/public face-sucking sessions with one of the bridesmaids/terrible music performances, and allow children to have meltdowns and run wild, even as participants in the ceremony."

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1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Wait, seriously? What a dick.

I really don't understand some fundies' behavior at weddings. "Marriage is a sacred moment when a Godly young man takes a wife and the two become one flesh to fulfill their obligations to the Lord...let's cause possible permanent damage to the groom's car, give insulting gifts to the bride, serve half-assed refreshments in a parking lot to guests who came from a great distance and at possibly significant expense, hijack the ceremony with pranks/public face-sucking sessions with one of the bridesmaids/terrible music performances, and allow children to have meltdowns and run wild, even as participants in the ceremony."

Oh yes, it was on the episode entitled Wedding Belles. It was right around the time Jessa and Ben had just begun courting and Jill wasn't just yet I think, anyways the wedding was Erin Bates and Chad Paine. I couldn't believe they were mocking her cooking skills so hard, I mean family maybe can make that joke but friends? Needless to say if Erin hadn't been instructed to 'keep sweet' I bet we could have seen a rumble between her and Jill. I could hear how forced her laughter was, oh and they threw in some gift cards to make up for being such dicks. Ughhh you are SO right about how they hold marriage up as some pinnacle of godliness yet somehow make it cheap.

 My friends were shocked that the Duggars served essentially Kid birthday party snacks, but then again look at the mentality of the Bride and Groom. 

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3 hours ago, PartriarchydefyinValkarie said:

Oh yes, it was on the episode entitled Wedding Belles. It was right around the time Jessa and Ben had just begun courting and Jill wasn't just yet I think, anyways the wedding was Erin Bates and Chad Paine. I couldn't believe they were mocking her cooking skills so hard, I mean family maybe can make that joke but friends? Needless to say if Erin hadn't been instructed to 'keep sweet' I bet we could have seen a rumble between her and Jill. I could hear how forced her laughter was, oh and they threw in some gift cards to make up for being such dicks. Ughhh you are SO right about how they hold marriage up as some pinnacle of godliness yet somehow make it cheap.

 My friends were shocked that the Duggars served essentially Kid birthday party snacks, but then again look at the mentality of the Bride and Groom. 

To the bolded: exactly.   And in so many aspects too, including the "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" that goes on regarding what the couple will be doing that night.  It's tacky and totally lacking class.

It seems that these weddings the pranks go on overdrive and I'm guessing that with living such a constrictive life in many ways, this is the one acceptable way to cut loose, but it's still tacky.

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52 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

It seems that these weddings the pranks go on overdrive and I'm guessing that with living such a constrictive life in many ways, this is the one acceptable way to cut loose, but it's still tacky.

There is also a lack of sophistication that comes with the isolating life style. There are things we pick up in school, work, etc. aka just being part of a wider society. Even movies and tv can add light to many subjects otherwise unconsidered.  

In other news, I reduced the quote!!! 

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1 hour ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

There is also a lack of sophistication that comes with the isolating life style. There are things we pick up in school, work, etc. aka just being part of a wider society. Even movies and tv can add light to many subjects otherwise unconsidered.  

In other news, I reduced the quote!!! 

ITA on the isolating lifestyle and the lack of sophistication / real world knowledge as a result.   May I also add that it might also come down to arrogance about that lifestyle as well.   Many of the fundies we talk about here are downright proud over being isolated from the world.  It's a virtue to them when in the real world it's completely out of touch and skewed.

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18 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

ITA on the isolating lifestyle and the lack of sophistication / real world knowledge as a result.   May I also add that it might also come down to arrogance about that lifestyle as well.   Many of the fundies we talk about here are downright proud over being isolated from the world.  It's a virtue to them when in the real world it's completely out of touch and skewed.

That reminds me of the proud ignorance of so many on the extreme right. Planned Parenthood selling baby parts, etc.

 

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As far as the refreshments being served at fundie weddings--- I can't snark much here.  Their weddings have very large guest lists (you can't just invite JB and Michelle Duggar, you have to invite them +19+ kids in law+ grandchildren).  If a fundie couple married in a typical NY/NJ wedding, they could buy a house outright (in many parts of the country) for the cost of the wedding alone.  It is insane if a couple starts their married lives 6 figures in debt from their wedding.

Using Brandon and Michael Keilen's wedding as an example (most recent)--- inviting just the bride and groom's immediate family (he's one of 10, she's one of 19) is 33 guests and that does not count spouses or kids.  The wedding party included members of the Paine (12 kids) and Duggar (19) family.  You're already over 60 guests (which is the size of a small wedding) with just four families invited (not including spouses or grandchildren).

As far as feeding guests, there's no rule that says  that you have to serve 5 star filet mignon and lobster tails to your guests.  I've been to many weddings that served gourmet food that frankly was not that good (in most cases my plate alone cost 3 figures) and sometimes had me stopping at McDonalds on my way home.

I'm not saying to serve deli meat on a stick (can't remember which fundie wedding did this) or ice cream in a parking lot in November, but there's a happy medium between filet mignon and deli meat on a stick.  Many fundies are in the south, what about a good BBQ?  Fish fry (which many southern churches do)?  Even hamburgers and hot dogs.  Or order pizzas (should I get married, I almost want to say fuck it and order a dozen pizzas)

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1 hour ago, 19 cats and counting said:

As far as the refreshments being served at fundie weddings--- I can't snark much here.  Their weddings have very large guest lists (you can't just invite JB and Michelle Duggar, you have to invite them +19+ kids in law+ grandchildren).  If a fundie couple married in a typical NY/NJ wedding, they could buy a house outright (in many parts of the country) for the cost of the wedding alone.  It is insane if a couple starts their married lives 6 figures in debt from their wedding.

Using Brandon and Michael Keilen's wedding as an example (most recent)--- inviting just the bride and groom's immediate family (he's one of 10, she's one of 19) is 33 guests and that does not count spouses or kids.  The wedding party included members of the Paine (12 kids) and Duggar (19) family.  You're already over 60 guests (which is the size of a small wedding) with just four families invited (not including spouses or grandchildren).

As far as feeding guests, there's no rule that says  that you have to serve 5 star filet mignon and lobster tails to your guests.  I've been to many weddings that served gourmet food that frankly was not that good (in most cases my plate alone cost 3 figures) and sometimes had me stopping at McDonalds on my way home.

I'm not saying to serve deli meat on a stick (can't remember which fundie wedding did this) or ice cream in a parking lot in November, but there's a happy medium between filet mignon and deli meat on a stick.  Many fundies are in the south, what about a good BBQ?  Fish fry (which many southern churches do)?  Even hamburgers and hot dogs.  Or order pizzas (should I get married, I almost want to say fuck it and order a dozen pizzas)

Of course there's a happy medium. Weddings need not be five-star luxury affairs to be tasteful, meaningful, and fun. I do think that fundies should do what you suggest: a good ol' Southern BBQ, a cookout, a fish fry, maybe even get a food truck from a local restaurant to come (then you're also supporting a local business). Melting root beer floats or parking lot ice cream are just half-assed.

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To make a wedding less expensive, you also don't have to invite 1000 guests.  I think to get that many guests, I'd have to invite every person I ever knew.

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On Sunday, May 15, 2016 at 0:51 PM, nokidsmom said:

Oh yeah, Mr. No and I had to worry about pranks at our wedding.  We drove ourselves to the reception because we couldn't trust his then-friends at all.  So Mr. No had his car keys in his pocket  at all times.  We snuck out of our wedding early and we kept our hotel information only known to, oddly enough, my Maxwellian parents.   Even Mr. No's parents did not know.  The morning following our wedding, there was death in Mr. No's family so MIL had to call my folks to locate us.

Incidentally, Mr. No dropped some of those "friends" immediately after the wedding.  He was super pissed at them.

When my best friend got married, right out of college, her husband stupidly gave one of his friends the key to their townhouse so the friend could take the wedding gifts back to the house while the bride and groom went on their honeymoon. My friend told me when they got home, late on a Sunday night, they went right to sleep and in the morning, her husband woke her up, asking where she put his underwear. Well, it turned out his friend took all of both the bride and groom's underwear, got them wet, and put them in the freezer. So she and hubby had to wear dirty undies to work the first day back. I said it was foolish to give juvenile friends a key to the house. Nobody trashed their cars because they hired a rental with driver for the wedding and ceremony to head it off.

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48 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Of course there's a happy medium. Weddings need not be five-star luxury affairs to be tasteful, meaningful, and fun. I do think that fundies should do what you suggest: a good ol' Southern BBQ, a cookout, a fish fry, maybe even get a food truck from a local restaurant to come (then you're also supporting a local business). Melting root beer floats or parking lot ice cream are just half-assed.

Sure.  You can also see if some of your guests that are in town would be willing to provide some food/cater the event in lieu of gifts.  It's a lot of work, but some people are more than happy to help out, especially if you have a sizable group of people pitching in that have been friends of the family for a long time.  In fact, some people actually ENJOY being able to help out like that more than just buying a gift.  I know a few weddings where they have gone this route, and it really worked out well for both sides. 

But, you know, then you don't get gifts from those people...so it hurts the gift grab.  

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1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Of course there's a happy medium. Weddings need not be five-star luxury affairs to be tasteful, meaningful, and fun. I do think that fundies should do what you suggest: a good ol' Southern BBQ, a cookout, a fish fry, maybe even get a food truck from a local restaurant to come (then you're also supporting a local business). Melting root beer floats or parking lot ice cream are just half-assed.

A local business food truck is a brilliant idea. Wish I had thought of it lots of years ago.

As well as helping local business, guests can choose from a menu ( not just feel they have to eat a meal they may not enjoy because its being paid for).

Doing something different can work as an ice breaker at a wedding where the guests may not know each other.

If my sons ever decide to get married I will suggest it.

Hopefully they will decide to fly off to a nice location of their choice and have the wedding THEY want!!

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On ‎15‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 6:47 PM, nastyhobbitses said:

A couple balloons on the car, writing Just Married on the back window, maybe a sprinkling of condoms on the seat: fine, cute, harmless.

But if someone did a Duggar-style car prank at my hypothetical wedding, some Game of Thrones-level shit would go down. At least three deaths depending on who was in on it.

Well, as Ser Jorah says, if there isn't at least 2 deaths it's considered a dull affair ;) 

Anyway, all this talk of wedding pranks reminded me of this:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-22999091

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58 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

To make a wedding less expensive, you also don't have to invite 1000 guests.  I think to get that many guests, I'd have to invite every person I ever knew.

Ha!

But then who will buy me an Ipad I need or a 42 case of Dr. Pepper. The more people I invite the more gifts I get!! -Jill/Jessa

Also anyone think of Lucy from Charlie Brown "Gimme, gimmie. Gimmie.. get, get, get!"

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2 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

When my best friend got married, right out of college, her husband stupidly gave one of his friends the key to their townhouse so the friend could take the wedding gifts back to the house while the bride and groom went on their honeymoon. My friend told me when they got home, late on a Sunday night, they went right to sleep and in the morning, her husband woke her up, asking where she put his underwear. Well, it turned out his friend took all of both the bride and groom's underwear, got them wet, and put them in the freezer. So she and hubby had to wear dirty undies to work the first day back. I said it was foolish to give juvenile friends a key to the house. Nobody trashed their cars because they hired a rental with driver for the wedding and ceremony to head it off.

I can't help it....I actually think that's kind of funny. No permanent damage. They could always run by Target or something to grab a fresh pair if they're horrified by day 2 undies.

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