Godly Father Advertises 26 year old virgin daughter in Christian magazine

[docmom]

3 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

I landed my first CFO job at age 25 as a newly minted U. of C. MBA. It was a $20M hospital with 300 employees and I did not have a clue.

Having dealt with a number of clueless hospital administrators this does not surprise me in the least.

[sockinshoe]

I find the language he uses here very interesting. Note that "gorgeous" comes before everything except "godly"; how he feels it is important to reinforce that she is "educated, careered" as a selling point (although not as much as "gorgeous" or "athletic"); that he uses the word "humorous" rather than "funny"; that re runs out of nice things to say about his presumably beloved daughter other than "travelled, bilingual"; and that, while he does say she's "educated, careered", he never says she's "smart" or "interesting". Also, why is he putting her sex life, or lack thereof, out for all the world to see? Very sad to read. If you're gonna put out an advert to sell marry off your daughter (who is presumably your baby girl under your umbrella of authority), don't use verbiage designed to undersell her. 

Also, I'm getting weird Maranatha vibes off this story. Yeah, the girl's older; but the dad's insistence on marrying her off toute de suite is super duper creepy and uncomfortable. 

[CyborgKin]

If I was looking, this wouldn't be the way I'd find someone.

[ofDany]

This is disturbing, but she doesn't seem to even mind in the blog post that was linked. I did notice that the dad is advertising the family too, by putting his own degree and job situation in the post even before mentioning the daughter. It's almost like he's waving his money around as an inducement to take his daughter off his hands. "Marry this girl and the family money will be yours!" Yech...

[Mercer]

3 hours ago, devoutjedi said:

I find it so bizarre that these people are willing to discuss things so personal out in the open. They like to stomp around crying "modesty!!!" but where is their sense of privacy? 

This. Absolutely this.

For all their talk of their great purity, these fundies spend more time thinking and talking about sex and other private personal matters than anyone I've ever heard of. I know more about, say, Lori Alexander's sex life than I know about the sex lives of my actual friends. I think that's because for most people, sex is just part of life, whereas the fundies are hyper focused on it.

[gibbsgirls]

I have a friend who is fundie. She and her husband listed their adult daughter on several dating sites and even vetted potential suitors for a few months. This was all done unbeknownst to their daughter. She was 26 at the time and had fled the fundie lifestyle. When she found out everything hit the fan. I tried to talk my friend out of doing this, but she wouldn't listen. Said hubs makes the decisions and he thought it was a good way to find a mate for their daughter. Daughter has only talked to them once in 5 years now. She travels in her tiny trailer for her job (naturalist) and is not married yet. Doesn't know if she ever wants to. Don't know what is wrong with people thinking they can be choosing a partner for someone else without the others permission.

 

[RosyDaisy]

Damn! This man has reduced bis daughter to a sow that needs a hog for breeding. Hey, asshole, your daughter isn't a farm animal.

[Jingerbread]

She sounds defeated in her blog post.  

Quote

So how am I feeling about this?
 

I’m not angry or embarrassed.

I'm just nervous if this doesn't work out, next I'll find my face plastered on a billboard.
 

Oh gosh, now I'm giving him ideas.

*Sigh*
 

I need a special kind of love.

This is gonna be fun...

I think she might be used to this stuff happening, and I don't think she lives away from her parents.  The Duggars consider CollegeMinus to be a degree, missionary work to be travel, and Jill to be bilingual.

 

 

[sawasdee]

From her blog, at least the educated part of the claim appears to be true - it's not SOTDRT level of writing.

[nokidsmom]

14 hours ago, gibbsgirls said:

I have a friend who is fundie. She and her husband listed their adult daughter on several dating sites and even vetted potential suitors for a few months. This was all done unbeknownst to their daughter. She was 26 at the time and had fled the fundie lifestyle. When she found out everything hit the fan. I tried to talk my friend out of doing this, but she wouldn't listen. Said hubs makes the decisions and he thought it was a good way to find a mate for their daughter. Daughter has only talked to them once in 5 years now. She travels in her tiny trailer for her job (naturalist) and is not married yet. Doesn't know if she ever wants to. Don't know what is wrong with people thinking they can be choosing a partner for someone else without the others permission.

 

To the bolded: and furthermore choosing a partner for someone who is a freaking adult too.   It's like the parents in this case cannot help themselves to try and "fix" a situation that isn't to their liking.

I read the Mirror article and while this just my take on it, the daughter doesn't real surprised to me either.  She's also not really discussing it much only to say things like "leading young people to God" or whatever it was, which to me is sort of a "nonanswer".    I understand that she doesn't want to make a big deal in public but privately I hope she's damn furious.  Dad seems clueless actually and I suspect the daughter has dealt with this stupidity before. 

I mentioned upthread that this guy reminded me of some folks at the fundie-ish college I attended.  He comes across as just like them and unfortunately some of these idiots did go into healthcare related professions.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Yikes.  I have seen people posting their own adverts for mates in fundie/fundie light publications, but even that I haven't seen since I was a teenager.  I know parents will talk godly marriage with each other privately and sometimes even try to engineer courtships, but I can't imagine advertising your adult child publicly like that without her knowledge/consent. That crosses a line that makes me very uncomfortable.

[refugee]

17 hours ago, Jingerbread said:

She sounds defeated in her blog post.  

I think she might be used to this stuff happening, and I don't think she lives away from her parents.  The Duggars consider CollegeMinus to be a degree, missionary work to be travel, and Jill to be bilingual.

 

 

Actually, re-reading the ad and the blog post, I realize that it sounds like the sort of passive-aggressive control maneuvers my dad used to pull on a regular basis. As in, "If you don't move faster than you are (in whatever it is I think you ought to be doing), I'm going to "help" you along a little..."

And then he expected gratitude for his efforts! Even brag on things, as if they were *his* achievements and not his kids'!

You're right. She sounds resigned. And trying to put on a good face, and make a kind of joke about finding her face on a billboard next. And if she's anything like I was, when my dad was alive, wishing he'd leave her to live her own life, make her own choices, and live with them as her own consequences.

[QuiverDance]

2 hours ago, refugee said:

Actually, re-reading the ad and the blog post, I realize that it sounds like the sort of passive-aggressive control maneuvers my dad used to pull on a regular basis. As in, "If you don't move faster than you are (in whatever it is I think you ought to be doing), I'm going to "help" you along a little..."

And then he expected gratitude for his efforts! Even brag on things, as if they were *his* achievements and not his kids'!

You're right. She sounds resigned. And trying to put on a good face, and make a kind of joke about finding her face on a billboard next. And if she's anything like I was, when my dad was alive, wishing he'd leave her to live her own life, make her own choices, and live with them as her own consequences.

It is a fear of mine that my ex will do this to our kids.  

[FundieFarmer]

I also got the feeling that she was resigned to the situation. I wouldn't be surprised if it weren't the first major boundary over-step she's had to deal with. What a shame for her. 

Parents like that are the worst. You really can never get rid of them!

[Jingerbread]

6 hours ago, GenerationCedarchip said:

Yikes.  I have seen people posting their own adverts for mates in fundie/fundie light publications, but even that I haven't seen since I was a teenager.  I know parents will talk godly marriage with each other privately and sometimes even try to engineer courtships, but I can't imagine advertising your adult child publicly like that without her knowledge/consent. That crosses a line that makes me very uncomfortable.

It used to be common to read the personals section!  

SWF seeks SWM for LTC.

MWM seeks MCM for anon ONS.

Back when race was part of it.  Those are "Single White Female seeks Single White Male for Long-Term Commitment," and "Married White Male seeks Married Chinese Male for anonymous One-Night-Stand."  Some ads got funny.  They're mostly replaced by Match.com and other online sites.