Anna Duggar and the M kids part 6

[MakeItSo]

41 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

[snip]

The only genuine moment was when Anna was talking about Josh coming home. She sounded positive at first, but then she got a very pained look on her face & rambled about how much work they had ahead of them daily, to put the marriage back together. I truly believe she doesn't want to. But if she leaves him, she loses the Sister connection that has been her support system for so long. She knows her marriage has changed & I really think she doesn't know how to live in the new one. It has probably occurred to her that Josh only married her to have a sex partner & to get away from Mr. Legos and might not even love her. I hope they will give us an honest glimpse at how it's going, even if it is just talking head w/Anna, since the general consensus is nobody wants to see Smuger's mug.

I've been wondering how they were going to handle that. I've said this after last week's episode but I found it interesting how JBoob was heard off screen when him and Meechelle visited Jillard in Cintral America but they tried really hard to keep him off screen...I still hope that they won't even do this much with Joshy. I realize he is part of the family and affects their lives and all and I'm cool with Anna talking about it but I don't think I want to see his face on my screen. 

PS: random realization: autocorrect/spellcheck is weird. My mac book (which I use at home) has the language said to Canadian English but it will still reprimand me for using "colour" instead of "color"...??? Why? Why won't you accept me, Mac book? So then I tried it on the UK English setting which then changes things like realize to "realise"...this computer at my university library here is set to US English and will underline stuff but not autocorrect it. My struggles are real. Haha So I apologize for any inconsistency in my posts. I am not being indecisive and I promise I do know how to spell.

[coffeefilter]

On 2016-04-20 at 8:36 PM, ksgranola1 said:

Last night's ep, and the whole play house-building thing was entirely scripted by TLC. Why would they start the building on a cold, rainy day? And the "girls' w/e. Please. They all sat around saying, "We should do this more often, just the girls." Then they interviewed each girl & they all said the same thing. FOR HALF AN HOUR! Then they went to dinner & did the same thing! And the..."Do you have a BF? What are you looking for?" until I wanted to scream. Just trying to build up curiosity to secure the next Duggar season. How many more times can Jessa say, "You never know; before we have another girls' w/e, we could have had a cpl more wedding." AAHHH!

The only genuine moment was when Anna was talking about Josh coming home. She sounded positive at first, but then she got a very pained look on her face & rambled about how much work they had ahead of them daily, to put the marriage back together. I truly believe she doesn't want to. But if she leaves him, she loses the Sister connection that has been her support system for so long. She knows her marriage has changed & I really think she doesn't know how to live in the new one. It has probably occurred to her that Josh only married her to have a sex partner & to get away from Mr. Legos and might not even love her. I hope they will give us an honest glimpse at how it's going, even if it is just talking head w/Anna, since the general consensus is nobody wants to see Smuger's mug.

I wonder if she's realized that her marriage will no longer (if ever) be based on love first and foremost, but only on painstaking "work" and "steps" and "rebuilding". I can imagine marriage is hard work sometimes but without love from the people involved, I don't see the point of it really.

[ksgranola1]

Hillary Clinton said it best, I think. Today interviewed her just after the Bill/Lewinski fuckery. They asked her why she stayed. And she said, "well, when you get married, it's a commitment. And we've been together 24 years." I get that. I believe every marriage has their rough patches. And Anna isn't in this alone. There's 4M's that love Josh deeply and would be very messed up if he disappeared and she probably wouldn't be comfortable sending them for weekends or shared custody w/him. She's had a lot of time to think this thru. And Mac is old enough to have the talk with about "inappropriate touching." I think she'd tell.

[coffeefilter]

4 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

Hillary Clinton said it best, I think. Today interviewed her just after the Bill/Lewinski fuckery. They asked her why she stayed. And she said, "well, when you get married, it's a commitment. And we've been together 24 years." I get that. I believe every marriage has their rough patches. And Anna isn't in this alone. There's 4M's that love Josh deeply and would be very messed up if he disappeared and she probably wouldn't be comfortable sending them for weekends or shared custody w/him. She's had a lot of time to think this thru. And Mac is old enough to have the talk with about "inappropriate touching." I think she'd tell.

Well, I disagree with that. I've recently separated from my son's father (we weren't married) and even though I love him, I know that in the long run we would do more harm than good if we stayed together. I did it for my son and for myself, because I don't want to even dread coming home again. Yes, separation takes a toll but if you are open and try to explain as much as you can to your kids, it goes a long way.

I would never ever go back to any man who had a history of molesting little girls. Anna is risking her daughters' well being by going back to a man who doesn't even love her because.... I can't even think of a reason. I didn't want to separate, it was the last thing I wanted, but being an adult means having to reevaluate and reconstruct your life if you find that it sucks. I cannot for my life understand why a person would stay with someone just because they've been married for so and so long.

[twinmama]

23 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

Hillary Clinton said it best, I think. Today interviewed her just after the Bill/Lewinski fuckery. They asked her why she stayed. And she said, "well, when you get married, it's a commitment. And we've been together 24 years." I get that. I believe every marriage has their rough patches. And Anna isn't in this alone. There's 4M's that love Josh deeply and would be very messed up if he disappeared and she probably wouldn't be comfortable sending them for weekends or shared custody w/him. She's had a lot of time to think this thru. And Mac is old enough to have the talk with about "inappropriate touching." I think she'd tell.

For me it's two different situations. I can understand a couple who decides to try to work through infidelity, or decides to have an open relationship even.

But the child molestation is a complete and total no go for me. There is no way I would risk my children, even for a father that they love. Mac may be old enough to discuss it with, but "I think she'd tell" is impossible to know. Plenty of children Mac's age and much older are molested by parents or siblings and don't tell anyone for various reasons. And Mac is a few years older than my boys, but kids have such complete and total trust in their parents when they are little. 

Also staying with him because she wouldn't be comfortable sending them to shared custody visits is a terrible idea because Anna cannot physically be awake and aware of what Josh is doing 24 hours a day. I bet she could get custody with only supervised visits if she brings up his gropey past.

[seattlechic]

32 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

Hillary Clinton said it best, I think. Today interviewed her just after the Bill/Lewinski fuckery. They asked her why she stayed. And she said, "well, when you get married, it's a commitment. And we've been together 24 years." I get that. I believe every marriage has their rough patches. And Anna isn't in this alone. There's 4M's that love Josh deeply and would be very messed up if he disappeared and she probably wouldn't be comfortable sending them for weekends or shared custody w/him. She's had a lot of time to think this thru. And Mac is old enough to have the talk with about "inappropriate touching." I think she'd tell.

Definitely not the same from where I'm seating. Bill cheated on his wife with a younger woman (who by the way, has an AMAZING Ted talk on cyber bullying that made me cry like a baby) and they rebuilt their marriage. Josh molested children. One is actually a crime, and it's not getting a BJ in the oval office.

I would die rather than leave my nephew anywhere close someone I KNOW has molested anyone. And I can tell you, if Mr. Chic turned out to be a pervert, the one that would end up in jail would be me - because he would cease to breathe immediately after I would get a hold of him. 

Anna is covering for a pedophile serial cheater. You cannot recover a "marriage" after that. No way Jose, Joseph, Josh. 

Just my honest .02

[lascuba]

Why would the molestation figure at all in Anna's decisions when she's made it clear that she always knew about it and didn't see it as a problem? When it comes to the future of that marriage--and lets not kid ourselves, Anna hasn't given any real thought to it since leaving never crossed her mind--the molestation is a moot point.

As for Clinton....gah! She talks about Lewinski as if she was the first affair Bill had and not just one in a long series of notches on the extramarital bedpost. She can spare me the sentimental "it's a commitment" garbage. She stayed because of some combination of long-term political expediency and genuinely not having a problem with him sleeping around. And I honestly think that's fine. Plenty of people aren't monogamous in their marriages and/or have practical concerns that matter more than emotional ones. But I hate, hate, HATE the "but I LOVE him!" and "marriage is a serious commitment" reasoning when the cheater has made it clear by his actions that he doesn't take the marriage as seriously.

 

[FlorenceHamilton]

I think it was expediant for the Clintons to stay together. Bill was/is a serial cheater. To the best of my knowledge, every woman who got involved with Bill after his marriage was a consenting adult. 

Anna did marry Josh knowing that there was a past history of experimental touching. I don't think she fully understood that he was molesting minors. Children.  It's possible she began to understand when Mac was born, but we have no evidence she did. What we do see is that after the Ashley Madison scandal,  there was an environment to give her more clarity.  Fist off, she was living in DC and had contact with mainstream people. She had that contact on her own and without her parents or JB to filter and redifine things for her. Josh was not around a good bit of the time. She had her own relationship with "worldliness". Once the scandals broke, Anna probably got the most horrible   awakenening  one could imagine. 

Anna has had a good bit of time to process all of it. She chose to go back to the Duggar nest. It was a reasonable short term decision. Whether she can keep her family together is in question. I think she knows not to leave Josh alone with the kids. The rest of the Duggars will help her with that. They have a lot of experience doing this. Down the line? I don't know. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

Cheating among adults - their marriage, their choice. Some stay, some leave. Again, consenting adults, personal choices.

Knowingly going back to a child molester - oh he** NO!!!

I still think that, back in the day, young Anna got a way watered down version of "the truth" from her parents and Smuggar, like "he sinned but Jeebus helped him see the light" or something along those lines. I am not entirely sure she really got the full picture before the scandal broke loose. 

[nst]

my mom was molested by her brother - a very short time but still (until she was sent to boarding school at the age of 8 which  is a whole other issue) 

anyway to this day- she doesn't associate with his wife 

(even though they are in Europe and we are here - she doesn't reach out to her) 

my point being - I think it's sick what is Anna is doing via her sisters in laws and her husband 

but i Have said that before 

and will forever 

[Sundaymorning]

1 minute ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:

Cheating among adults - their marriage, their choice. Some stay, some leave. Again, consenting adults, personal choices.

Knowingly going back to a child molester - oh he** NO!!!

I still think that, back in the day, young Anna got a way watered down version of "the truth" from her parents and Smuggar, like "he sinned but Jeebus helped him see the light" or something along those lines. I am not entirely sure she really got the full picture before the scandal broke loose. 

ITA

Whether you stay with someone who cheated on you with another adult is up to you. If every couple broke up after some kind of cheating came to light, the divorce rate would be much higher. I do believe that the Clintons have found a way to live with each other, whatever arrangement they have, it works, and I personally would even guess that they still get along pretty well, they've been married now for decades while many politicians who love to criticize them are now with their 2nd or even 3rd wife.

Regarding Anna: I also believe that they didn't tell her the entire truth, it was probably some kind of twisted "Duggar truth", a concept which well all know so well by now. And if the leghumpers and big parts of the public still fall for it, it's not surprising that young and brainwashed Anna didn't smell a rat. I'm not even sure if she understands the whole significance of his crimes today.

[Bad Wolf]

Remember, he was just a young boy who made a mistake. NO. A mistake is adding your check book wrong. It's writing the wrong house number on your sister's birthday card. It's putting the fresh brussels sprouts in the freezer instead of the refrigerator. (Maybe that's just me.) What Josh did was deliberate, and his behavior escalated. Over the clothes, older girls, under the clothes, younger girls. Maybe that's why some of the girls look uncomfortable when they are asked about courtship. If they didn't get proper counseling, they could be quite apprehensive about marriage.

[Nu2Duggarville]

Can someone clarify for me who were the sisters/girls Josh molested other than Jessa and Jill?  When this scandal broke I was only able to gather vague details ...

[lascuba]

Whatever Anna might or might not have been told by the time she married Josh, she--an adult women with some exposure to the outside world--as recently as the Counting On specials referred to the molestations as Josh's "teenage wrong choices." She does not care at all about what Josh did then. 

[choralcrusader8613]

Just now, Nu2Duggarville said:

Can someone clarify for me who were the sisters/girls Josh molested other than Jessa and Jill?  When this scandal broke I was only able to gather vague details ...

We're not allowed to speculate on victims who have not come forward.

[Coy Koi]

46 minutes ago, FlorenceHamilton said:

Anna has had a good bit of time to process all of it. She chose to go back to the Duggar nest. It was a reasonable short term decision. Whether she can keep her family together is in question. I think she knows not to leave Josh alone with the kids. The rest of the Duggars will help her with that. They have a lot of experience doing this. Down the line? I don't know. 

Unfortunately, I think you're giving her too much credit to say she knows not to leave the kids alone with him. It's possible, but I seriously doubt it. He was just a "young teenager" who was "a little too curious about girls". That's no longer the case, so there's nothing to worry about anymore. <--what I assume is their logic, not mine

 

Besides, people leave their kids alone with known molesters all the time. People leave their kids alone with relatives who molested THEM when they were little. Denial is a strong force and Anna is obviously drowning in it.

[Bad Wolf]

1 hour ago, Nu2Duggarville said:

Can someone clarify for me who were the sisters/girls Josh molested other than Jessa and Jill?  When this scandal broke I was only able to gather vague details ...

You can figure it out if you read the police report, but we don't out the girls. Jill and Jessa came forward and said they were two who had been mildly inappropriately touched by Josh.

ETA an overly curious Josh.

[Destiny]

1 hour ago, Nu2Duggarville said:

Can someone clarify for me who were the sisters/girls Josh molested other than Jessa and Jill?  When this scandal broke I was only able to gather vague details ...

No. Unless they come out on their own, we do not out Josh's victims.

 

[Hera]

Yeah, no. An adult cheating on his wife equals not a brother molesting his sisters.  The comparison is ridiculous.  Seriously, what the fuck?!?!

[nst]

10 hours ago, Hera said:

Yeah, no. An adult cheating on his wife equals not a brother molesting his sisters.  The comparison is ridiculous.  Seriously, what the fuck?!?!

it;s desperation on both parts 

 

[Mothership]

THe molestation aside (and I can't beleive I would ever say that), as Anna claims to have known about it before marriage (what she knew then is purely speculation), the difference for me for the Joshley/ANna marriage and the Clintons or anyone else is the desire by BOTH parties to truly work through the infidelity.   I do know people who have had strong and loving marriages post-affairs (family members), but it was because the guilty party ADMITTED the guilt and didn't BLAME the spouse. They went to REAL marriage counseling for the long term and they both had one on one counseling (by licensed marriage and family therapists).  I don't see Anna having anything other than a marraige in name (and in bed).

[hilee]

I wonder if Anna has been able to get counseling. 

I worry about her, 4 young kids, a cheating husband who was outted for molesting children in his past very publicly, just giving birth and being stuck in a house with your mother in law the ultimate one upper. 

I don't think she's blameless, but females in this fundie world may have a hard time, yes some of her siblings did but she's married fundie "royalty" and maybe doesn't want to disappoint. Plus now she's married with kids how do you get out? 

[Mela99]

I have a feeling Anna is getting "counseling" of some variety, but probably not to heal herself as a woman, but to learn how to be a better wife and helpmeet. I personally believe Mullet has been sitting her down every night and teaching her how to please her man, and probably rubbing salt in the wounds for her. 

If they're doing anything to help her emotionally, I'm certain it's just quoting the bible to her and telling her to pray.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I firmly believe they - Mullet, Smugs, that entire culture - views Anna as just as guilty as her dirtbag husband. If she had been a better, more faithful, more attractive wife, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

[MatthewDuggar]

I'm sure Anna is getting "counseling", but certainly not "therapy", which she probably needs.  As others have said from day one, she has probably been thrown hundreds of supposedly relevant/random bible verses to pray on, DQ has probably shared "tough times" during her marriage with JB.  I do wonder if the blame has been implied or explicit.  She's the only Duggar by injection that I feel sorry for at this point.

[Gossamer1]

On 4/22/2016 at 9:06 PM, Bad Wolf said:

It's putting the fresh brussels sprouts in the freezer instead of the refrigerator. (Maybe that's just me.) 

No, your mistake was not putting them in the trashcan!  Horrible little things.

If someone has gone to the trouble of making dinner for me I will eat whatever is put in front of me as a sign of gratitude if not actual enjoyment.  The only two exceptions are bell peppers (they do terrible things to my stomach ) and brussels sprouts.  I really hate them that much.