Anna Duggar and the M kids part 6

[Dandruff]

I think Josh is aware that he was screwed educationally.  He worked (for lack of a better term) with other fundies who had college degrees - some of whom probably let him know that his ego and D-list celebrity status couldn't compete.  Assuming this pissed him off, and he that focused at least some of it on his parents, then giving his kids a good education would be a marvelous FU to the SOTDRT.  And I don't think there's much, if anything, that JB & Michelle could do about it.

[DuggarWatch]

6 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

I don't think Josh ever went to Shiloh. I could be wrong. I thought they decided to home school when he was 5.

Josh was always homeschooled and never went to a nursery school or kindergarten.  Here is Michelle's statement:

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/how-duggar-family-got-hooked-homeschooling/

[quiverofdoubt]

10 hours ago, DuggarsTheEndIsNear said:

<snip>

.... Of course she doesn't have coping mechanisms. She lives in a cult that says it's her fault that Josh was running with the devil. And she's had 4 kids to take care of without him, meaning she's had to move in with her in-laws. And she went from being a fluff piece to being torn apart by the tabloids in a matter of days. Then she was torn apart even more mere months later.

 

I would expect any women to fall apart under those conditions. But most people her age have had more world experience- they've been on bad dates, had relationships end badly, maybe even been cheated on by a boyfriend. Or at least have a crush not work out in school.  They've had experiences that would have taught them ways to cope with a cheating husband, and they'd figure out ways to pick up and move on, emotionally and psychologically.  Until now Anna has had almost no disappointments in life, super sheltered. She could barely handle not being pregnant for a few months after marriage.  And now she's gone from the perfect God promised fundie life, with everything going the way the formula promised, to her entire world crashing down around her. 

Most women go through various stages of grief during these circumstances, and generally end up reinventing themselves and moving on.  They may have never dealt with a nasty divorce/cheating spouse etc, but they have psychological coping mechanisms developed through small experiences. And if not may seek out professional counseling (secular, not fundie) to help them develop some.

Anna is on her own with this.

[Hera]

Not only is Anna not able to draw on past relationship experience, or seek real counseling, she is also being brainwashed to ignore her thoughts, wants, needs and feelings on the matter in the name of forgiveness, stability and financial security.

[paulypepper]

18 hours ago, Piano gal said:

She sorta looks pregnant to me.  

Deviating from the looks of her being pregnant...what is with these people with no top sheets or comforters? I mean I LOVE getting all snuggled up in my bed..even in the summertime...*sigh* maybe it's just me

[lilwriter85]

11 hours ago, Trynn said:

Sometimes poor families will get offered scholarships at private christian schools. I could absolutely see a school taking pity on Josh's kids and giving the family a steep discount.

I could see that happening. Depending on private school's policies, they may ask to look at tax and other financial records to determine if they want to give them a discount or some kind of financial aid.

[EmCatlyn]

6 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

Josh was always homeschooled and never went to a nursery school or kindergarten.  Here is Michelle's statement:

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/how-duggar-family-got-hooked-homeschooling/

Just read this and had to note how sad it is that she says that once they can read you can't stop them from learning.   It is true in general, but when you sharply limit what they can read, and control what they can think, they end up being indoctrinated, not taught.

[CherylV]

1 hour ago, paulypepper said:

Deviating from the looks of her being pregnant...what is with these people with no top sheets or comforters? I mean I LOVE getting all snuggled up in my bed..even in the summertime...*sigh* maybe it's just me

I am like that too and find no top sheets or comforters very weird! I can't sleep even when it's hot without at least a sheet over me and I love snuggling up into bed with lots of blankets. 

[Bad Wolf]

Michelle really emphasizes phonics. Not all kids can learn with phonics. You need to be flexible and figure out your child's strengths. Some kids will sound out C A T and never get the word from it. Others will catch on and race through. When your reading material is limited to religious books, it might stifle your desire to learn.

[Defrauding Feminist ESQ]

8 minutes ago, CherylV said:

I am like that too and find no top sheets or comforters very weird! I can't sleep even when it's hot without at least a sheet over me and I love snuggling up into bed with lots of blankets. 

Same - I can't sleep without at least a sheet over me.  I can't imagine never sleeping with anything over me.  I assumed at least the married couples would have sheets and blankets.  So bizarre.

[Chickenbutt]

7 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Michelle really emphasizes phonics. Not all kids can learn with phonics. You need to be flexible and figure out your child's strengths. Some kids will sound out C A T and never get the word from it. Others will catch on and race through. When your reading material is limited to religious books, it might stifle your desire to learn.

If they are only reading the bible, think of all the secular words that they have never seen, let alone understand.

[JesSky03]

10 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

@DuggarsTheEndIsNear and @Dandruff,  I am not suggesting that, just because Josh molested his sisters and cheated on Anna, he doesn't love his children.  But love doesn't always rise to self-sacrifice.  I have known many parents who wanted their children to have certain opportunities but never made the effort necessary.  I have known people who sincerely loved their kids but couldn't put them first on a day-to-day basis.  Being a good parent is hard, and there are different ways in which a man like Josh might fail his kids, even if he ever recognizes what an education could have done for him.

Bottom line is I haven't noticed that he did much for his kids before, except the usual daddy-play-with-me stuff.  And even if he doesn't love Anna, going to sleep during his wife's labor suggests an unusual degree of detachment.  We know that like all Duggars he likes to brag and that he has been brought up to look at wife and kids as existing to build up his ego.

Is he truly capable of seeing his kids as individuals whom he might, through his efforts, give a better life to?  I don't know.  Is he likely to see education as something they need that he didn't get? I don't know that either.  But being unselfish is hard, and he doesn't have the history. 

We will see.  I hope for the M-kids sake, and also Anna's, that Prayer Prison gave him a chance to reflect on how he can do better for his kids than JB and Michelle did for him.  I just don't see it.

I agree with your first paragraph. My mom and dad both grew up poor with abusive and semi-abusive parents who did nothing to help them get ahead in life. My whole childhood both my parents would talk about their regrets of not getting degrees and encouraged us going to college. However, they really didn't do anything to help us get there. They stopped caring about my grades around the time I was in middle school, they didn't ask about our homework or help us select classes, they never attended teacher conferences, they didn't even talk to us about colleges and what we should pursue and where. I had to figure out everything completely on my own, apply for colleges on my own, etc. I'm not sure it it's because they were so caught up in themselves(they split when I was 11) to really invest themselves in us or because they didn't have the know how? I know they love us, I've never doubted that, but once I was old enough to take care of myself they sort of checked out and focused on themselves. 

 

[Eternalbluepearl]

I saw a Counting on commercial and man, when Anna says "do the next right thing for the next 15 minutes." My heart feels it. I just want to hug her.  

Dear Anna, if the next right response in your gut is to say fuck you, Josh. That's okay. Go with that feeling. Your "right response" doesn't have to come from a handbook given to you by your in-laws. You are allowed to feel and express your truth. 

I don't understand why she is allowing herself to be so controlled. I mean I get it but I don't get it. It's angering to watch her be manipulated by that pig and his family. *vomit*

I'm so sorry for my outburst... 

[Defrauding Feminist ESQ]

4 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I saw a Counting on commercial and man, when Anna says "do the next right thing for the next 15 minutes." My heart feels it. I just want to hug her.  

Dear Anna, if the next right response in your gut is to say fuck you, Josh. That's okay. Go with that feeling. Your "right response" doesn't have to come from a handbook given to you by your in-laws. You are allowed to feel and express your truth. 

I don't understand why she is allowing herself to be so controlled. I mean I get it but I don't get it. It's angering to watch her be manipulated by that pig and his family. *vomit*

I'm so sorry for my outburst... 

I agree.  That made me so angry and sad at the same time.  I understand having a "right response" for the kids (not badmouthing their dad in front of them), but she should be able to respond according to how she feels.  It makes me so sad for her that she doesn't know that or isn't able to, and so angry that she is saying it and teaching her children that they should only respond "correctly"

[EmCatlyn]

1 hour ago, Defrauding Feminist ESQ said:

Same - I can't sleep without at least a sheet over me.  I can't imagine never sleeping with anything over me.  I assumed at least the married couples would have sheets and blankets.  So bizarre.

They may keep the covers folded during the day.  I knew people in college who did that, supposedly so the bed would look less invitingly like a bed.  And when my son was little, I had a fitted sheet on the bed and a sleeping bag (folded in the closet) because he couldn't keep regular bed clothes on the bed and would wake up cold.  I wonder if the Duggar kids got used to only a sheet on the bed and comforters in the closet.

[PracticeMakesProgress]

59 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

I agree with your first paragraph. My mom and dad both grew up poor with abusive and semi-abusive parents who did nothing to help them get ahead in life. My whole childhood both my parents would talk about their regrets of not getting degrees and encouraged us going to college. However, they really didn't do anything to help us get there. They stopped caring about my grades around the time I was in middle school, they didn't ask about our homework or help us select classes, they never attended teacher conferences, they didn't even talk to us about colleges and what we should pursue and where. I had to figure out everything completely on my own, apply for colleges on my own, etc. I'm not sure it it's because they were so caught up in themselves(they split when I was 11) to really invest themselves in us or because they didn't have the know how? I know they love us, I've never doubted that, but once I was old enough to take care of myself they sort of checked out and focused on themselves. 

 

@JesSky03, First of all, your avatar is very distracting. Tom Hiddleston...yes. 

Secondly, kudos to you for navigating higher education without parents to guide you. Working with kids and parents, my heart breaks because a lot of kids in poverty have well-meaning parents who are just simply unable to help them get to the next step, so to speak, with their education. Think about it, some of these parents BARELY finished high school in a "no child left behind" era. Many don't know how to read well and forget basic arithmetic. Once their children reach higher level math in elementary school, all homework issues are impossible without outside help/tutoring. It's easy to get discouraged, kids get discouraged, and fail to achieve, thus the cycle continues. 

I have tremendous respect for the kids that can break that cycle, as we all know education is key to improving one's station in life. I also have tremendous respect for the parents who fight tooth and nail to get their kids the help they can't provide at home. It's not easy, and takes a lot of guts and humility.  

 

[ksgranola1]

I think we've been watching Anna go thru the 5 stages of grief; grief for her former life.

First is disbelief Then the crippling saddnes. We saw that inCounting On when the tears were always just under thesurface. Now, I'm seeing anger, again just under the surface. But the thing about anger; BIG anger is you can't keep choking it down. One day it will erupt like a huge volcano. The more bottled up it is, the bigger it will be. I suspect she will keep sweet once Josh returns but one day he'll leave a sock on the floor or the top off the toothpaste &!! Otherwise, she'll get an ulcer. But you know, we will probably never hear about it unless she does it in the parking lot at Walmart.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

8 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

I think we've been watching Anna go thru the 5 stages of grief; grief for her former life.

First is disbelief Then the crippling saddnes. We saw that inCounting On when the tears were always just under thesurface. Now, I'm seeing anger, again just under the surface. But the thing about anger; BIG anger is you can't keep choking it down. One day it will erupt like a huge volcano. The more bottled up it is, the bigger it will be. I suspect she will keep sweet once Josh returns but one day he'll leave a sock on the floor or the top off the toothpaste &!! Otherwise, she'll get an ulcer. But you know, we will probably never hear about it unless she does it in the parking lot at Walmart.

I wouldn't be surprised if Anna has been angry towards people a lot in recent months. But she probably has to keep most of it under control cause of her living situation, which is unfortunate. 

[umsami]

Joshly is out.  Poor Anna. I wonder if she'll realize that leaving without Josh was better than living with?

13 hours ago, paulypepper said:

Deviating from the looks of her being pregnant...what is with these people with no top sheets or comforters? I mean I LOVE getting all snuggled up in my bed..even in the summertime...*sigh* maybe it's just me

There's also only one pillow, so I'm assuming that's not where they sleep.

I always thought the Duggars had no covers for the boys to prevent them from the sin of Onan. 

[ClaraOswin]

1 minute ago, umsami said:

Joshly is out.  Poor Anna. I wonder if she'll realize that leaving without Josh was better than living with?

Do we know for sure he is out?

[EmCatlyn]

1 minute ago, umsami said:

Joshly is out.  Poor Anna. I wonder if she'll realize that leaving without Josh was better than living with?

I suspect she won't let herself think in that direction.  Initially things may go well. He may make an effort. He may need her, and that will make her feel good.  Afterwards... who knows how long before he becomes scornful, impatient, resentful about his life and will blame her?

[Diggingupdirt]

14 hours ago, paulypepper said:

Deviating from the looks of her being pregnant...what is with these people with no top sheets or comforters? I mean I LOVE getting all snuggled up in my bed..even in the summertime...*sigh* maybe it's just me

I have never noticed they don't have top sheets or comforters on their beds. But,I feel the same way even in the summer i am snuggled up in my comforter or a big comfy blanket. I can't sleep unless I am cocooned in a blanket.   

[MakeItSo]

I just saw the new promo...why does Anna look more and more like Meechelle? The tan and the hair...the eye make up looked very 2001. 

I wonder if any of the teenagers really didn't wanna do this knowing that they'd constantly be asked about possible crushes etc. It's like when you go to your extended family's house and they drill you with these kinds of questions. It always bothered me how interested grown people were in my love life when I was 15. Hard to yell "back off!" at a 60 yr old lady though...

[for_real]

The Joe Smithson Facebook account said he attended the University of Arkansas. I think this shows Josh is acutely aware and bothered by his lack of education.

[Ramen Amen]

6 hours ago, MakeItSo said:

I just saw the new promo...why does Anna look more and more like Meechelle? The tan and the hair...the eye make up looked very 2001. 

I wasn't aware that eye makeup is that different now as compared to 2001.  Uh-oh. I'm probably still in the 90's with mine, then.  

Although, I really don't wear makeup that often.