Lori Alexander never learning since 2011 - part 6

[refugee]

5 hours ago, sawasdee said:

Quote 'She doesn't have any, Kate, since there were no fiercely financially independent and great mothers. You can't be a great mother if you are a fiercely financially independent mother because making money will consume you and keep you from your children.'End quote.

Lori said this. And if she were within reach (before I wrung her neck) I would give her the leaflet we printed of my mother's life to distribute at her funeral ( which, by the way, overfilled the quite large church) and force her to read it. My mother was fiercely independent and great - she raised three of us alone - and also much loved by her children, and many others. I wonder if Lori can claim the last? I miss her to this day, and she has been dead almost 17 years. She would have been 100 years old this coming Saturday.....

Hmmm. I think I'd call Abigail fiercely (financially) independent. She fed David and his troops with apparent confidence -- it doesn't sound like she did it in fear and trembling and trepidation that she'd have to make an accounting to the fool husband for making free with *his* resources.

The bible says nothing about Deborah the judge being under someone's headship or living on someone else's support. It doesn't say she was independent, either, so she doesn't prove that point, I suppose -- except for the fact that she didn't seem to need any man's permission to say what she said or do what she did. (No disclaimers on her part that she's speaking from under her husband's covering, and that her words are not intended to lead or teach men.)

It's amazing how fundies stretch the Proverbs 31 woman, to explain away her seeking out a field and buying it, and the rest of the economic-sounding verses in that passage.

In the NT, Lydia was a dealer in purple cloth. 

[polecat]

4 hours ago, happy atheist said:

 "A Tyrant Behind the Keyboard, a Martyr Between the Sheets" is our newest post count title!

This one may just be the best one yet.

[Florita]

4 hours ago, happy atheist said:

 "A Tyrant Behind the Keyboard, a Martyr Between the Sheets" is our newest post count title!

If I ever reach that post count I may have to retire just so that is my "title" forever more.

[happy atheist]

2 minutes ago, Florita said:

If I ever reach that post count I may have to retire just so that is my "title" forever more.

You'll want to time your retirement for something between 8650 and 8700 posts. That should give you plenty of time to compose an epic flounce.

[polecat]

27 minutes ago, happy atheist said:

You'll want to time your retirement for something between 8650 and 8700 posts. That should give you plenty of time to compose an epic flounce.

This is going to be my new life goal.

[Evangeline]

I want the next post count title to be "putting it in The Wrong Hole."

[smittykins]

All this talk of "the wrong hole" reminds me of [url=https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Valby]John Valby, a Buffalo-based singer/musician/comedian who performs as "Dr. Dirty."  Part of his act is obscene limericks, such as:

"There once was a young man from Brighton

Who said to his girl 'You're a tight one '

She said upon my soul

'You're in the wrong hole

There's plenty of room in the right one.'"

[usmcmom]

Quote

 Ken: I think for most men we understand that our wife's sex needs and desires are not on the same level as ours, but our hope is that she can enjoy and appreciate the affection we give her during these times. We don't measure success by how much sexual pleasure she gets out of it, but by the warmth and affection she returns to us.

 

Reader: I can't imagine this comment will get published, but if more men measured success by the pleasure they give their partners rather than by how they themselves feel, their partners might be more willing and eager participants.

I checked in on the Anal Sex Post (gag!) because I've been curious about Ken's response to the above comment.  It looks as though he deleted that comment.  Am I missing it??

I find it hilarious when they do that. They are like two-year-olds who cover their eyes in the belief that mommy and daddy can't see them. If they can't answer a comment, they'll just delete it and nobody will ever know.

Remember when Cabinet Man deleted all those comments by "T" and then said "There was no "T."  "T" doesn't exist. 

Anyway, Ken's deleting the post tells us WAAAAAAY more about his beliefs and...um...ability...regarding sex than any of his walls-o-text ever would. 

[molecule]

I'm not seeing the comment, either. I figure it got deleted because it suggests that wives aren't the only ones who need to make some changes in their marriages.

[polecat]

Lori finally admits she didn't love her kids: 

Quote

The most important thing a mother will do for her children is to create an atmosphere of peace and joy by deeply loving their Daddy and being satisfied with life.*

Okay, so maybe that's not exactly what she said ... but we all know how miserable Lori made her home for the first however many years of marriage. 

 

[Koala]

Do as Debbi says, not as Lori did

Lori quotes Debbi Pearl:

Quote

Take a five-minute break every thirty minutes or so to just play with him or her.

Lori: 

Quote

My mom never played with us. I never played with my children but we all turned out good. 

Lori quotes Debbi Pearl:

Quote

Never work alone; always have your "little buddy" helping you.* Their eternal souls are worth every single moment that you invest your life into theirs, Mothers. 

Lori:

Quote

Every single day, my children were in their rooms from 1:00 to 3:00 in the afternoon

Lori:

Quote

Every night they were in bed by 7:30 or 8:00.

Lori:

Quote

If you have family nearby, especially grandparents, ask them if they'd watch your children for several hours every weekend 

Lori:

Quote

Lucy was a Nanny sent from heaven who never wanted to let Cassi cry, so she held her hours a day.

 

[usmcmom]

For some reason, Lori's "parenting" posts get under my skin more than any other type.  How she can hold herself up as a devoted loving mother is beyond my comprehension.  As far as this:

Quote

The most important thing a mother will do for her children is to create an atmosphere of peace and joy by deeply loving their Daddy and being satisfied with life.*

How can she even type those words?? She's made it clear she did not love Ken and was not content with their life when the kids were young. They can argue the contrary all they want, but those kids most likely picked up on the tension in that marriage.

And then there's this:

Quote

There is a couple who lives near us and they didn't discipline their children much. However, they were deeply in love with each other and the wife respected and honored her husband. Those children grew up to be secure and happy children. Loving your husband is more important to your children than disciplining them.

Even when she's complimenting a couple, she has to throw a little dig in.  That's not a compliment; it's an insult wrapped in a ribbon. Lori is very good at tying those pretty little ribbons.

I think the most upsetting thing about Lori's parenting posts is that they remind me that at least one of her children has decided to parent just like her (if not more harshly). With two others expecting children, I can only hope those two have decided to use Lori as a "what not to do" guide to parenting.  It makes me so sad to think of another generation of babies facing the leather strap.

[molecule]

Constant hypocrisy does not a powerful testimony make. 

It would be much more real and have greater impact if Lori would talk about the ways she failed to live up to Debi Pearl's God's standards and show how her family has suffered as a result instead of just telling her readers to do all these things that are so hard that Lori never even did them (other than spanking, which I don't think was nearly as hard as she claims it was). 

I'm really bothered by this:

Quote

I can tell you from experience that spanking a child is difficult, but the results are wonderful; children who willingly obey you the first time you ask them to do something.

I was not a great parent. I avoided the hard stuff, I was inconsistent, and I generally made lots of mistakes. I always envied the parents whose kids obeyed immediately--but that was about me and what would make my life easier. I do think it is in children's best interests to obey and trust their parents--but that's because it is good for the children, not for the parents. Lori says so little about how any of this stuff benefits the kids. She says that they obey better--but all that says is that it makes life easier for the parents, not better for the children.

[Koala]

It's been up for nearly 5 hours and still no comments.  It seems like she gets fewer and fewer responses here lately.

Quote

A mother who loves her children disciplines them for the purpose of obedience and godliness. I have written about spanking a child before since I believe it is the right thing to do since God tells us in His Word that it works! As women, we might feel we love our children too much to spank them. God calls our sentiment silly and unloving {according to verses in Proverbs}. You cannot expect God's personal blessings on your life and on theirs unless you do it God's ways. Study these verses and ask God to give you a heart of love and a backbone of courage to walk by his principles {Proverbs 13:24; 22:15; 29:15}. The training of your children is the deepest expression of your love for them.* I can tell you from experience that spanking a child is difficult, but the results are wonderful; children who willingly obey you the first time you ask them to do something.

See how she did that?  She basically says not to expect God's blessings on your life unless you spank your children.  

When Ken was here he asserted that he didn't believe there was anything godly about spanking, but Lori sure seems to think there is.

Also, Lori has written extensively about her children only having one temper tantrum each.  According to her, she spanked them for hours on end, and they never tried it again.  The way she presents it, it leads you to believe that all of her problems were solved with a leather strap and it was smooth sailing from there on out.  

The problem is,  she's admitted to having a bad relationship with at least one of her children as teenagers, and another has blogged about battles of the will over food that lasted for up to two hours (ending in bad eating habits for the child- near anorexia according to her).

Lori likes to offer up spanking as the be all, end all, but she never tells her readers about the struggles she had with her children.  

 

 

[polecat]

editing to say instead of what I did say: Goddamit, Lori, parenting is about so, so much more than just beating a child into blind obedience. 

 

It's about the wonder you get just watching a child's eyelashes against his cheeks at night. Trying to catch a butterfly in the summer. Watching her delight in discovering a new flower or bug. Helping him learn to tie a shoe. Helping her take her first steps towards a big accomplishment and trying so hard not to hold on too tight (even when everything in you wants to so, so much). Guiding without pushing. Holding without gripping. Being there without hovering. So much more than spanking.

Yet Lori persists in distilling it down to spanking. I guess because that's all she ever really did thanks to nannies and housecleaners. She never got to do the fun stuff. What a sad, mean existence the woman's had. I'd feel sorry for her except for the fact that she wants others to suffer as she has.

[Koala]

Look at the contrast in what she says.

Today:

Quote

I can tell you from experience that spanking a child is difficult, but the results are wonderful; children who willingly obey you the first time you ask them to do something.

2015:

Quote

I argued with one of my teenagers. We didn't have that good of a relationship during the teenage years.

From another daughter's blog (not the one she claims to have had a bad relationship with):

Quote

Between the milk allergy, stomach problems, low energy, prone to fainting/face-planting, anemia, and my mom forcing me to eat my salad when I was young {stubbornly, I would sit at the the table for over two hours a night refusing to eat my salad}, I am where I am at today. 

None of that sounds like "wonderful results" to me.  

Spanking isn't the solution that Lori claims it is.  It was an easy way out.  It didn't solve any long term problems, but it made it so Lori didn't have to put a lot of time or effort into her children.  If she got angry, she hit them with a leather strap and I am sure they left her alone for the rest of the day.  

[molecule]

14 minutes ago, Koala said:

From another daughter's blog (not the one she claims to have had a bad relationship with):

Quote

Between the milk allergy, stomach problems, low energy, prone to fainting/face-planting, anemia, and my mom forcing me to eat my salad when I was young {stubbornly, I would sit at the the table for over two hours a night refusing to eat my salad}, I am where I am at today. 

This makes me wonder if all her posts about nutritious salads are a slam against this daughter in some way.

[Koala]

I don't know, but she has made a couple of posts encouraging moms to talk to their daughters about their weight.  All the while she neglects to mention that one of her daughters verged on anorexia, and the other had a serious body image disorder.  Lori is so weight obsessed that she didn't care what the end result was for her daughters- just so long as they were thin.

[polecat]

11 minutes ago, Koala said:

I don't know, but she has made a couple of posts encouraging moms to talk to their daughters about their weight.  All the while she neglects to mention that one of her daughters verged on anorexia, and the other had a serious body image disorder.  Lori is so weight obsessed that she didn't care what the end result was for her daughters- just so long as they were thin.

And isn't one of her daughters (and her DIL) pregnant right now? I can't imagine what that must be like ... and the kind of snarky comments that must be right on the tip of Lori's nasty tongue.

[Koala]

Yes, the daughter quoted above is pregnant, and so is Emily (the new DIL).  This will make 5 grandchildren for Lori.  

[polecat]

52 minutes ago, Koala said:

Yes, the daughter quoted above is pregnant, and so is Emily (the new DIL).  This will make 5 grandchildren for Lori.  

Hopefully she doesn't browbeat them into eating disorders during pregnancy. What a horrible woman she is.

[molecule]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

It's been up for nearly 5 hours and still no comments.  It seems like she gets fewer and fewer responses here lately.

I've wondered if she has tried to shift the commenting to her secret chat room. As bad as her posts are, she is even worse in the comment section--but having discussion in her chat room means that she isn't parading all of her crap in front of everyone, only in front of women who already agree with her.

It would be a simple thing to post a message in the chat room that says how she would prefer to discuss the posts privately to avoid getting their godly truth trashed by the haters.

[Koala]

In today's what the fuckery category:

Quote

God made Adam because he didn't want him to be alone. 

 Umm, okay?  I'm sure Adam kept himself great company.

Then she preaches....to herself apparently:

Quote

However, women have trouble when they pursue relationships outside of His will for them as proven in these verses where Paul is speaking about widows {young women}, At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention {1 Timothy 5:13}. Since he knows women LOVE to chat with other women, he commands that instead of going from house to house and talking; I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully {1 Timothy 5:14}.

She continues:

Quote

Take a look at the Proverbs 31 woman. Her entire life revolved around taking care of her home, feeding and clothing her family. It says nothing about her having girlfriends, going to Bible studies, meeting others for coffee, etc. 

It also says nothing about her sitting around all day gossiping on the net.  (Although I am shocked the Proverbs 31 woman was able to resist coffee shops and Bible studies....you know how popular those were back then.  )

Hey...I bet she didn't even have internet!  Lori should probably cancel her's too!

 

[OnceUponATime]

Lori of course forgets that the proverbs 31 woman earns money and invests her money wisely...

[salex]

24 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

Lori of course forgets that the proverbs 31 woman earns money and invests her money wisely...

My guess is she doesn't believe that.....a lot of people don't. ..and it conflicts with her word view and personal laziness.  I loved it when ken explained Lori was a type a personality...a real go getter.  Who lied to get out of working and needed hours of "me" time between child beatings.