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Why Is It That Quivering/Gothardie Girls Seem Aged?


luckylassie

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I don't know why but it seems like the young pre-teen and teen A.T.I./full quiver girls seem so much older than their chronological age. Maybe it's because of how they dress and speak? I've wondered what that kind of lifestyle does to women. Does it cause them to mature faster or remain much less so? The oldest Shed girl on youtube's Quiverful family was a good example. She was twelve in the documentary but looked about fifteen or seventeen. :confusion-shrug:

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I think they're overworked with helping their mothers raise their children. If you look at most ATI/IBLP teenagers, they are responsible for:

-Waking up and bathing their "buddies"

-Giving them breakfast, lunch and dinner

-Putting them down for a nap if they're young

-Teaching them certain skills/schooling

-Making sure they do their chores

-Lecturing them if they've done something wrong

-Cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry

-Possibly practicing their instrument

-So forth

If my life was like that at 14 years old, I too would look extremely aged.

It's like once they hit 11/12 years old, they have to "train" to be a housewife. No more childhood.

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Because they don't get exposed to anything that normal girls their age are:

Study Hall, note passing, texting, etc.

Modern music

Dances

Football games

Cheerleading

Meeting at the movies

Popular television shows

Teen magazines (remember posters on your wall?

Slumber parties where no one sleeps, and no one has to watch little sister

Flirting with Boys

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And because they dress like young adult women, skirts, etc.

And because they wear their hair in the 1950's prom styles.

And because they don't speak until spoken to, and don't make eye contact with males.

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Guest Anonymous

Isn't this pretty much the same topic that you posted in this thread?

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=2126

I sometimes wonder this: are the twenty year old fundies more mature than their same-age secular peers? Is there something that the fundie young people have that makes them more mature (or less) than "normal" people. Anna wrote on her and Josh's site that people would often mistake her for someone older. I don't know if that would be a good or a bad thing. :confusion-scratchheadyellow:
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It's because they don't believe there's any such thing as a "teenager." So, you go from being a child (where you get "trained" to do chores and school work) to being an adult, all at one go. As an "adult" (at age 12 or 13 ish), you are expected to exhibit adult traits, like being endlessly patient, knowing your theology, always on your best behavior, and so on - esp in terms of speech, dress, manners, time management, etc. The idea is that if your parents train you well enough as a child, you will be a fully-developed adult at the age of 13 or so. A lot of the homeschooling crowd call this type of behavior "maturity." It's really hard to be a teenager in that environment - you literally have to be perfect at every second of every day. You are not allowed to have a bad day, to "sulk" or "pout" or anything like that.

In terms of appearance, girls go through an awkward stage even in the secular world - but when you wear jeans and t-shirts, the awkwardness is less obvious. When you have to wear "modest" clothes, it's hard to find dresses/skirts that meet modesty guidelines that are also age-appropriate. Also, a lot of families don't just go for "modest" (like a denim skirt and a polo); the clothing must be "distinctively feminine" or some such - which means it has to be "feminine" colors, "feminine" shapes, etc etc. Add to that the fact that large families are often buying clothes second hand, and the girls are going to look strange.

Anyway, in my experience, the struggle for independence I should have had with my parents when I was in my teens was just pushed back to my early 20's.

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I know I've posted about this before but I often (guiltily) find myself baffled continually watching the Duggars and their like on television. Although I do admit, fake fundies are much more fun (kid farm)

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At the same time, they're expected to maintain a childlike facade of innocence and "purity." They aren't supposed to think for themselves, feel sexual urges, etc. In one of those betrothal videos, Papa Morton says it point-blank about Katie: that she had never had to make any decisions for herself, and then when it came time to court he dumped the whole thing in her lap, and she was overwhelmed.

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I've always thought that fundie girls seem very young for their age. The Arndt girl is 14 and looks (and acts) like she's 8. That's not an exaggeration; my mom baby-sits 10 year-olds that look and act older than the Arndt girl.

Most of the other fundies physically look their age but seem very immature when they speak. Teenagers say things that children would say. I think it's just downright creepy that they keep their daughters in a childish state to appeal to male courters. It's a little too close to brushing up against pedophilia for me.

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I find it odd to hear grown women say "mommy and daddy". Not sure if this is a regional/cultural thing... But after age 7 or 8 it was mom and dad...

Same, it sounds so strange. To me it seems to highlight emotional stunting, but yeah it could be a regional/cultural thing.

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I don't think they seem older than their age. They seem stunted to me. They're kids playing the role of adults. It's like they've learned everything they need know by the time they're twelve. I find it really sad.

I suppose the op is trying to suggest that this "training" (browbeating, coercian, indoctrination) results in more mature teenagers. I don't see it that way at all. I see these kids as extremely underdeveloped. No critical thinking skills, decision making skills, negotiating skills. They're usually poorly educated. They typically don't interact with people outside their circle so their social development is stunted. Given all that it would seem they have a lot of growing up to do. Sadly, they'll probably never be exposed to the experiences that will help them grow up.

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Because they don't get exposed to anything that normal girls their age are:

Study Hall, note passing, texting, etc.

Modern music

Dances

Football games

Cheerleading

Meeting at the movies

Popular television shows

Teen magazines (remember posters on your wall?

Slumber parties where no one sleeps, and no one has to watch little sister

Flirting with Boys

Have to disagree :) Loads of kids all over the world are not exposed to this and I wouldn't say that girls in other cultures look older/more haggard than the girls who are exposed to it.

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I think the dress, hair styles and lack of enthusiasm (not sure if that is the right word, maybe the dullness, lackluster look?) make some fundie girls look a lot older than they are. I'm sure the hard work, waking up with their baby and toddler siblings, etc. contributes to that as well. But, intellectually and emotionally, they seem SO much younger than their actual age.

A few fundie girls look much younger though too and I think that has to do also with hair and dress-- take Jill D for example. Some of the puffy hair styles (think Erin Bates) definitly age, but the long styleless hair on Jill does the opposite.

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Because they don't get exposed to anything that normal girls their age are:

Study Hall, note passing, texting, etc.

Modern music

Dances

Football games

Cheerleading

Meeting at the movies

Popular television shows

Teen magazines (remember posters on your wall?

Slumber parties where no one sleeps, and no one has to watch little sister

Flirting with Boys

I agree with TVR that lack of exposure to these things doesn't necessarily make a girl seem older. But I was thinking about this and I realized that I intentionally sheltered myself from many of these things when I was a teenager (for a variety of reasons that had little to do with religion) and people always thought I was older than I was. Now, in my 20's, I let myself enjoy these types of things and many people think I'm much younger. So I think there might be something to the theory that being cut off from whatever others your age are doing might age you.

I don't think skirts in general are all that "aging" though, but that could be because longer, fuller skirts were in style for a year or so when I was in junior high, so I think of that as something perfectly normal for young teenagers to wear. Obviously some fundies dress in a way that (I think) makes them look simultaneously older and younger (i.e. Seven Sisters), but a lot of those blogs where the teenage fundies post pictures of what their wearing every day look like things my peers and I wouldn't have felt out of place wearing in our ninth grade classrooms.

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Living a life on hold is not satisfying, and being constantly overworked and trying to convince yourself that you are oh so joy-joy-JOYfull does not add to looking youthful, I guess.

Skirts/modest dress and no make-up do not need to age a person, if she dresses right.

But people can really look shockingly old, no matter if fundie or not. Today, I saw a picture of a woman four years younger than me (I turn 30 this month), with a very unfavourable haircut and unstylish glasses. Although she has no wrinkles or anything, she looks very, very aged, matronly. I'd wagered her to be around 8-10 years older than me.

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The phrase we're all looking for, by the way, is pseudo-maturity. It comes in many guises, whether it's a 4-year-old dressed like Britney Spears or ATI teens expected to act like their mothers.

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No instrument-strumming unless you're in the privacy of the prayer closet!

THAT'S the reason you call yourself Little Miss Metaphor.

:happy-jumpeveryone::happy-wavemulticolor:

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Because they don't get exposed to anything that normal girls their age are:

Study Hall, note passing, texting, etc.

Modern music

Dances

Football games

Cheerleading

Meeting at the movies

Popular television shows

Teen magazines (remember posters on your wall?

Slumber parties where no one sleeps, and no one has to watch little sister

Flirting with Boys

Hmmm, let's see. I passed notes in high school and listened to popular music, otherwise I didn't do much of the other stuff. I'm definitely NOT fundie/ATI. I was and still am a nerd. :lol:

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If you ask me, this is the one thing fundie girls have going for them. Modern American teenagers are an embarrassment to society and to the future of our country. While I don't agree in several ways with how many fundie families raise their kids, at least they are not influenced by the dumbed down culture that exists now. And its not just fundies, there are a lot of smart teens that take life seriously who have nothing to do with a fundamentalist religion. I commend any youth who acts respectfully, intelligent, mature and who doesn't just follow the mind numbing typical teen crowd.

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If you ask me, this is the one thing fundie girls have going for them. Modern American teenagers are an embarrassment to society and to the future of our country. While I don't agree in several ways with how many fundie families raise their kids, at least they are not influenced by the dumbed down culture that exists now. And its not just fundies, there are a lot of smart teens that take life seriously who have nothing to do with a fundamentalist religion. I commend any youth who acts respectfully, intelligent, mature and who doesn't just follow the mind numbing typical teen crowd.

I respectfully disagree. When they were teens, my daughter and her friends took life seriously, and were respectful, intelligent, and mature. They were well informed and well-read. They also dressed their age (following current trends without looking slutty or extreme), and never seemed to be "older" than they were.

The fundie girls rarely seem to be allowed to let their inner light shine. They tend to wear a uniform of frumpers or long denim skirts, are saddled with childcare and housekeeping, are limited in their exposure to culture and literature, and are kept childlike in attitude. It's obvious that they're raised by parents who conflate "maturity" with obedience and "good behavior." (Because I was the family "good girl," my parents considered me "mature." I wasn't.)

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"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for

authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place

of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their

households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They

contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties

at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."

-Socrates, according to Plato

Careful, jericho, you sound dangerously like every elderly "Kids today!" curmudgeon since the ancient Greeks. ;)

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