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I Thought the SAHD Movement was Faltering but Maybe Not


GenerationCedarchip

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I've personally noticed fewer and fewer women taking the traditional SAHD path and I'd wondered if the movement was fading.  I guess there's still an audience for it, though.  I noticed this conference posted on one of my cousin's FB pages:

kbrconference.com/overview/

It looks like a SAHD encouragement event similar to those VF used to host.  Of the speakers, I only recognize Wissman and a few others.  

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It's been a bit tough for the proponents, seeing their main spokespersons aging away (the Botkin girls are nearly 30, right?), withering on the vine, so to speak.

Voddie Baucham's daughter, I remember reading, started doing something other than just waiting at home -- I don't remember the details, but I'm sure someone here will.

I know (IRL, that is) any number of late 20s and 30-something SAHDs with no prospects on the horizon.

It's not working.

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Wow, it's only $25. That is...not a lot of dollars. 

Maybe Marjorie Jackson will step up to be the face of the movement.

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7 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

Wow, it's only $25. That is...not a lot of dollars. 

Maybe Marjorie Jackson will step up to be the face of the movement.

But she's working in a fast food place so may not qualify for pure SAHD status?

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I think the SAHD movement was just a fad, albeit a very destructive one like Gothardism or the shepherding movement, and now it's run its course. The more extreme families will continue to do it, but all the recent scandals plus the fact that so many of the advocates are still single don't reflect well on the concept. Unless you come from an independently wealthy family that can support you indefinitely, it's not possible or advisable to keep a grown woman of sound mind and body at home with no job or educational prospects. The poorer ones will have to work as domestic servants like Lourdes did, and in a system with no checks or balances on male behavior (at least for the head patriarch) what happened to her was inevitable. In ten years, I doubt anyone will be talking about SAHDs, aside from us (here's hoping that FJ will still be around then).

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I think the downfall of a lot of their leaders has taken some of the excitement out of it.  What's left to get them all worked up with excitement now?  There aren't people beating podiums anymore, just a loss of shine with Dougie and all gone.  The mask has fallen, and people can easier see the aging daughters who are waiting out their fertile years unmarried.  And I don't think it's helping that a lot of fathers are probably getting tired of supporting SAHDs who have nothing to do with their time.  It doesn't take several women to keep one house clean or to raise little children who have already grown up.  Without Doug's Titanic retreats and other big meet-ups, when are those daughters going to have a chance to meet anyone anymore?  I wasn't here when VF's destruction happened, but I was watching it anyway, and that really seemed to be a turning point.

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One of the biggest problems with the SAHD concept is that if being under your father's umbrella of protection or what have you is the best place to be, there's no incentive to get married. The families that are into the SAHD ideal also tend to completely distrust the outside world and practice extreme sheltering. That may sound appealing when your daughters are young, but when you have daughters in their 30s who are still at the emotional and intellectual level of a twelve year old because you have limited their educations and taught them to be fearful of everyone outside the family, you've failed as a parent. Most people, even fundies, don't want to be a member of a cult where everyone happens to be related, which is why the movement is dying.

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Of the numerous blogs/families that I started following when I initially fell down the fundy rabbit hole (most of which were due to a love of historical sewing), only two have actually continued to follow the SAHD concept. None of the young women in question are married yet, though most are still just in their 20's. Of the families I started following after discovering FJ on Yuku, only the Botkins, Mortons, and Campanas have convincingly kept it up. I'm sure that other families do it as well, but I don't follow them.

As others have noted, the "fad" is unsustainable. Most of these people depend on working older children to help support their bloated families. The recession hurt quite a lot of people, regardless of their degree of interest in the Bible. That may account for the quiet departure from the SAHD movement over the past 5 years as much as anything else. 

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1 hour ago, EmainMacha said:

But she's working in a fast food place so may not qualify for pure SAHD status?

I'm not an expert on this issue, but isn't the whole point of the SAHD movement the fact that those poor women are kept inside the house at all times, unless they are accompanied by some sort of chaperone? And having a job outside the home, especially if the place isn't owned by a family member and the job description might include having to talk to men unsupervised, is absolutely off-limits?

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I can't help but think that staying at home might be better than to get married at 20 and have eleventy kids of your home before you can blink.

Of course it's like choosing between pest and cholera...

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5 minutes ago, Foudeb said:

I can't help but think that staying at home might be better than to get married at 20 and have eleventy kids of your home before you can blink.

Of course it's like choosing between pest and cholera...

That is surely true in many cases. I think that really depends on how crazy your father is, I'd take getting married at 20 anytime over having to stay in PPs house forever for example. At least, as a married women, you have a bit more freedom and you can also quietly prepare you departure from fundie-land. But the Botkin sisters are an example where staying unmarried has worked out very well for them. They lead a quite comfortable life, have a job and even some "celeb status" among some fundie circles and while they don't have a husband to share their life with, they at least don't have to give birth to and raise eleventy kids.

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Being new to this forum and also member of a parenting forum I read SAHD as Stay at Home Dad and immediately had a moment of wondering how that about turn came about.

Right, I have a feeling im about to head down a rabbit hole.

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4 hours ago, refugee said:

Voddie Baucham's daughter, I remember reading, started doing something other than just waiting at home -- I don't remember the details, but I'm sure someone here will.

She completed the requirements for a degree in English through CollegeMinus or something similar.

What that linked article does NOT say is that she also worked outside the home before marriage (at a private Christian high school in Houston) and is still doing so after marriage. She and her husband live in Minneapolis and she is teaching at another private Christian school.

Why aren't the Maxwells aren't speaking at this conference?

ETA: Re: Jasmine Baucham Holmes. Once again, it's do as we say, not as we do. Wash, rinse, repeat.

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5 minutes ago, JabberJabber said:

Being new to this forum and also member of a parenting forum I read SAHD as Stay at Home Dad and immediately had a moment of wondering how that about turn came about.

Right, I have a feeling im about to head down a rabbit hole.

Well, the SAHD thing is less of a cohesive rabbit hole, but OMG the Botkinettes are the most gag-inducing example.

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3 hours ago, FundieFarmer said:

Wow, it's only $25. That is...not a lot of dollars. 

Maybe Marjorie Jackson will step up to be the face of the movement.

I'm still trying to figure Marjorie out!! She's a mystery to me (as in motivations etc.)

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Just now, Jenirishdancer said:

I'm still trying to figure Marjorie out!! She's a mystery to me (as in motivations etc.)

Me too (well, the mystery part. I'm not even trying to figure her out). I will say that her hand lettering is absolutely beautiful, and I think she probably has more talent in her little finger than any of the Duggarlings have, whether innately or acquired. She should give up on the books and start an Etsy business.

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Just now, withaj said:

Me too (well, the mystery part. I'm not even trying to figure her out). I will say that her hand lettering is absolutely beautiful, and I think she probably has more talent in her little finger than any of the Duggarlings have, whether innately or acquired. She should give up on the books and start an Etsy business.

Really?? I should check it out. I didn't know she had that talent.

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3 minutes ago, Jenirishdancer said:

Really?? I should check it out. I didn't know she had that talent.

Yep. She does lots of bible passages and otherwise religiously-themed stuff, and it's not totally my style regardless of the content, but she's really good.

 

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1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

She completed the requirements for a degree in English through CollegeMinus or something similar.

What that linked article does NOT say is that she also worked outside the home before marriage (at a private Christian high school in Houston) and is still doing so after marriage. She and her husband live in Minneapolis and she is teaching at another private Christian school.

Why aren't the Maxwells aren't speaking at this conference?

ETA: Re: Jasmine Baucham Holmes. Once again, it's do as we say, not as we do. Wash, rinse, repeat.

My heavens, I used to live in the same zip code as that place. It's still only 10 minutes away. :pb_confused:

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1 hour ago, withaj said:

Yep. She does lots of bible passages and otherwise religiously-themed stuff, and it's not totally my style regardless of the content, but she's really good.

 

Oh wow, she wrote that? That is pretty impressive. Not my style either, but not something I would be capable of doing. I'm lucky if I can write a sentence that is even legible.

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2 hours ago, Jingerbread said:

I can see the Botkin girls eventually marrying widowers after their own fertile years are over.

Perhaps - rather like Nancy DeMoss.

I can see that they do enjoy at least a bit more autonomy than some folks I've known. However, the celebrity fundie status seems to be fading a bit.  I haven't seen anything new coming from Western Conservatory lately and they don't seem to be showing up on lists for any of the homeschool conferences either.  I have heard their father has had health issues, but the radio silence from the Botkin compound does seem a bit odd.

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If my whole family comes, are there attractions nearby that they can visit while my mom and I attend the conference?
There are many wonderful local attractions that dads and brothers can visit while the ladies are at the conference – including Cabelas, Arabia Steamboat Museum, Truman Presidential Library, National World War I Museum, and Kansas City Zoo. On Friday night, the whole family is welcome for a free pizza party/fellowship evening (donations will be accepted)!

I wouldn't call Cabelas an attraction.

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They forgot to mention Kemper  museum of modern art, nelson atkins museum,  the local casinos , bass pro shop and local wineries.

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