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Silva Family in Washington?


pnwgypsy

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Anyone familiar with the Silva family in Washington state? Happened to see a "youcaring" site for them on my facebook feed. 10 kids, 1 adopted with DS, girls in long dresses. Quick google didn't reveal any further info so I was wondering if anyone recognized the name.

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I know them personally. They lived just down the street from me until they moved to Tri-Cities last year. We attended the same homeschool co-op.

Good people. While conservative, they are definitely not in the same category as most the people we snark here. I am heartbroken over what happened and its left them in a difficult position. I hope the resources over there are as good as they are here.

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i found the youcaring and wow. just wow. my heart breaks for that woman and her children. i'm so glad she did what she did instead of ignoring it but even so, being put in that position is just awful.

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19 minutes ago, pnwgypsy said:

I wonder how this didn't come out when they adopted or as part of follow up home visits. Haven't looked at timelines, but how awful.

according to the youcaring site, this literally just now came out. as in, last week. so any home visits or anything related to the adoption presumably happened a while ago, way before the kids came forward about it. unfortunately, it could be pretty easy to cover up this kind of abuse. if it could be hidden from the wife, i don't think anyone coming in for a home study would be able to see it.

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The adoption happened many years ago. I want to say like maybe 5 years. There were not signs, at least ones visible to people outside the family so I'm not sure how any home study or visits would have seen something like this. Their older girl babysat my kids and their younger girls were friends with mine. They are bright, funny, happy kids. I know the Mom would not have tolerated anything if she had suspected something was off. My girls went through something similar (not their father but a family member) and I would never have guessed. There was no acting out, no signs. Everything seemed fine until the day one of them told me something startling (they were young, 7 and 4) and I asked a few questions and all of a sudden our lives flipped upside down.

The sad fact is that many, in fact I would say most, people can be fooled. Even those closest to the offender and victims. If your assumption is (as mine was) that the offender would NEVER do something like this then your guard is down. As it should be, because dear God, if there is anyone you should be able to trust its the person you've been married to for ages and had 10 kids with. 

23 hours ago, Dandruff said:

What happened?

It was revealed this weekend that the father had molested some of the girls *some info redacted* and it had been going on for a very very long time. Practically the entire life of the oldest girl. The father is in prison and the mother is now trying to find some stable ground and a path forward. She has 10 kids, one who is adopted and has Down Syndrome. 

As its public, I suppose I can share the link

link deleted

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This is a horrible situation. Very tragic. I am kind of uncomfortable with the pictures of the victims being put up. They have gone through enough without having their face being connected with the fact that their father sexually abused them. The internet is forever and there is a reason most newspapers don't reveal the names and faces of abused minors. Ten years from now will they want people to be able to google their name and find this info? Most likely not. 

I know that they are trying to just make it through the next couple  of weeks, but I'm wondering if the mother is willing to put the children in public school/daycare while she gets a job. Long term their life will have to change drastically. 

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Oh, so horrible. Every mother's worst nightmare, for their children to be hurt. I can not even imagine learning it was their own father. The family is in my prayers. But at least the mother acted immediately, and seemingly appropriately. I wonder what changed to make the daughter confide I her mom?

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I really, really don't like that we (and this YouCaring) has essentially just identified four underage victims of sexual abuse and incest by last name and photograph.

I know we can't do anything about the YouCaring, but can we edit posts to remove reference to which children were abused?

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What a horrible tragic story. In the midst of the tragedy the one bright spot is this mother's courage and strength to believe her children and go straight to the police with no hesitation or attempt to cover-up for her husband. 

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I'm also uncomfortable with the pictures and identifying of the victims but I'm extremely impressed by the mother. When I went to my family and told them that my step-grandfather, a Fundy preacher, was molesting me I heard a chorus of "what do you expect mama to do, call the police and have no way to support herself?" and was sent to stay with my mother. In my absence the next youngest cousin became his victim but Grandmom wasn't without support.

What this woman did for her daughters will go a long way in helping them heal. Knowing that they were believed AND protected will mean more to them than she could possibly imagine.

Is anyone familiar with the Notes from the Handbasket blog? It is like a step by step guide for turning your children into victims but sadly it is a common narrative. Mrs Silva is in for some difficult times but I hope she can take some pride in knowing that her daughters trusted her enough to turn to her and that she was brave enough to do the right thing for them.

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6 hours ago, VaSportsMom said:

(...)

Is anyone familiar with the Notes from the Handbasket blog? It is like a step by step guide for turning your children into victims but sadly it is a common narrative.

I read some of her blog this morning but couldn't actually believe what I was reading. Like looking at child porn is not a crime and stuff like that. Anyway, are you sure this story is true? Sounds weird to see a woman in such denial about what her husband did, it makes me want to throw up.

As for Silva family, I can't even imagine the pain and the guilt for the mother. But good for her and her children, she went to the police and did what was good. She seems to be brave enough to rebuild their own life without this sick pervert they used to call "dad".

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7 hours ago, alexandracabot said:

I really, really don't like that we (and this YouCaring) has essentially just identified four underage victims of sexual abuse and incest by last name and photograph.

I know we can't do anything about the YouCaring, but can we edit posts to remove reference to which children were abused?

ITA. Perhaps @AuLait can have the mods edit her post to remove the information that identifies which daughters were molested. And if she knows who runs the YouCaring page, maybe she can suggest they take down the pictures and who was molested too. None of us needs to know that information. The story is tragic enough without the whole world being able to look at the pictures of these girls and know who was molested and who wasn't. 

I get that they probably did because they thought pictures would help bring in more money, but the victims need to have their privacy protected.

I hope this family is able to pick up the pieces of their life and build a new one. It is going to be one long, hard journey for all of them, but the mom did the right thing by believing her daughters and turning her husband in. 

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I have a hard time browsing this forum on my device but I reported my post and asked them to edit out what I unwisely was too specific about. Hopefully that will do the trick

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(...)

Is anyone familiar with the Notes from the Handbasket blog? It is like a step by step guide for turning your children into victims but sadly it is a common narrative.

I read some of her blog this morning but couldn't actually believe what I was reading. Like looking at child porn is not a crime and stuff like that. Anyway, are you sure this story is true? Sounds weird to see a woman in such denial about what her husband did, it makes me want to throw up.

As for Silva family, I can't even imagine the pain and the guilt for the mother. But good for her and her children, she went to the police and did what was good. She seems to be brave enough to rebuild their own life without this sick pervert they used to call "dad".

I'm not sure about anything with that blog other than it is sick. GOMI has had a go at her a few times and she can be found on PrisonTalk and a few other places. Her story remains consistent but always very short on details. She's careful to avoid being identified.

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